Does your friendliness come off as flirtatious?

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Virgorean
@Virgorean
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Are you genuinely friendly that it gets mistaken for being flirty? Does it send mixed signals?

I have come to realize that this is the vibe I have often give off unintentionally.

Say, I will be out with some female friends at a restaurant. I'm a bit more on the reserved side, but my ladies who are social butterflies will tease the waiter if it's a male. Playful banter, light flirting. I'm the one who likes to watch their interactions. One friend who is a Pisces is a blatant flirt and craves the attention. Often the waiter will entertain us with some conversation or jokes. Sometimes I'll join in the topic of conversation, but the minute I speak I can immediately feel the waiter's attention zoned on me as if to single me out. Sure enough a few times they have left their numbers on my receipt or to-go box with some quirky comment or compliment and my single Pisces friend will be baffled. Another time has been if I'm waiting in line and the guy next to me makes a comment that makes me laugh he will catch wind of it and strike a conversation with me ending it with a bold request for my number or vice versa. Both times I was in a relationship, all times I've declined. Now I notice if I don't say anything in these situations then there is no interest for the men to pursue.

But it's been more prominent now that I'm single since two male friends have confessed their love for me and I was taken aback.

I'm curious if fellow Virgos have had similar experiences.
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Virgorean
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Posted by aquarius09
I don't know about friendliness but my kindness and good demeanour are always mistaken for romantic interest. Kindness is just damn rare nowadays I suppose.
I lump them all as one. But yes, I know what you mean. Example, if a male friend asks you to attend an event he's sponsoring and you agree to go to show your support you view it as being there for a friend. While he may view it as a spark of interest and 'wow, she must really like me!' I feel like in a sense our good demeanor ends up becoming a double edged sword.
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Aquarius09
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Posted by Virgorean
Posted by aquarius09
I don't know about friendliness but my kindness and good demeanour are always mistaken for romantic interest. Kindness is just damn rare nowadays I suppose.
I lump them all as one. But yes, I know what you mean. Example, if a male friend asks you to attend an event he's sponsoring and you agree to go to show your support you view it as being there for a friend. While he may view it as a spark of interest and 'wow, she must really like me!' I feel like in a sense our good demeanor ends up becoming a double edged sword.
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Yes, because it seems more people are reserved and standoffish.

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Virgorean
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I guess it depends on whether you judge it by the intent or the observable behavior...

For example, my best friend is a virgo and she just recently realized that she flirts without being aware of it. She told me that she got so invovled in some vivid conversations with random guys (in some parties) that the guys' wife or gf always had to interrupt the conversation to "cool them down" (they appeared to be heavily flirting). She told me she felt bad cuz it had happened many times and she did not intend to steal any guys. (And guess what, one of the married guys tried to get with her afterwards and she was very offended.)

I say, it's hard to draw the line since no one can see their own facial expression/body language when they are interacting with the opposite sex... If it really bothers you, next time you can pay attention to your own tone of voice and body language and see if there are differences between when you talk to a guy and when you talk to a girl. My friend always talks with a higher pitch, excited voice, more dramatic facial expressions (e.g. raising eye brows freqently), and laughs more frequently when she talks to guys :p
Now that I can understand. If it's a topic that piques my interest I get excitable about talking about it because often then not I don't come across people who will. I react the same regardless the gender. I come off as peppy and with a warm attitude. I'd say the distinction is between topics of interest. For women, we tend to talk about people, trends, food because we connect more in those subjects, but I tend to talk football, politics, nerdy ramblings with men not only because I connect with them in those aspects, but those are my main interests and not many females care about those. Maybe I'm unknowingly striking the men with their interests?
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Virgorean
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Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by Virgorean
Are you genuinely friendly that it gets mistaken for being flirty? Does it send mixed signals?

I have come to realize that this is the vibe I have often give off unintentionally.

Say, I will be out with some female friends at a restaurant. I'm a bit more on the reserved side, but my ladies who are social butterflies will tease the waiter if it's a male. Playful banter, light flirting. I'm the one who likes to watch their interactions. One friend who is a Pisces is a blatant flirt and craves the attention. Often the waiter will entertain us with some conversation or jokes. Sometimes I'll join in the topic of conversation, but the minute I speak I can immediately feel the waiter's attention zoned on me as if to single me out. Sure enough a few times they have left their numbers on my receipt or to-go box with some quirky comment or compliment and my single Pisces friend will be baffled. Another time has been if I'm waiting in line and the guy next to me makes a comment that makes me laugh he will catch wind of it and strike a conversation with me ending it with a bold request for my number or vice versa. Both times I was in a relationship, all times I've declined. Now I notice if I don't say anything in these situations then there is no interest for the men to pursue.

But it's been more prominent now that I'm single since two male friends have confessed their love for me and I was taken aback.

I'm curious if fellow Virgos have had similar experiences.
Yup but it's not intentional tho. But I never fail to piss of my wife lol. I'm usually just trying to help or try to make someone feel better- then they think I'm flirting and so they respond by flirting back.

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Would you say it's our helper title that gives off a flirty vibe?

The flirt word is carelessly thrown around. Heck, even a certain look or compliment to someone can be considered 'flirting.' The fine line between being nice and flirty is pretty much non existent.
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VirgoSquirrel
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It happens to me very often and i find it embarrassing. May be it's my facial expressions i don't know. I know that i am introverted so when i discuss something i am passionate about with a stranger i go out of my shell and speak passionately. But definitely yes, sometimes even with friends/acquaintances i've known for a while, and i hate all the awkwardness that comes along. And yes it's just from being nice/friendly genuinely, or talking passionately about topics that matter to me.
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FeelingGemini
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Posted by Virgorean
Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by Virgorean
Are you genuinely friendly that it gets mistaken for being flirty? Does it send mixed signals?

I have come to realize that this is the vibe I have often give off unintentionally.

Say, I will be out with some female friends at a restaurant. I'm a bit more on the reserved side, but my ladies who are social butterflies will tease the waiter if it's a male. Playful banter, light flirting. I'm the one who likes to watch their interactions. One friend who is a Pisces is a blatant flirt and craves the attention. Often the waiter will entertain us with some conversation or jokes. Sometimes I'll join in the topic of conversation, but the minute I speak I can immediately feel the waiter's attention zoned on me as if to single me out. Sure enough a few times they have left their numbers on my receipt or to-go box with some quirky comment or compliment and my single Pisces friend will be baffled. Another time has been if I'm waiting in line and the guy next to me makes a comment that makes me laugh he will catch wind of it and strike a conversation with me ending it with a bold request for my number or vice versa. Both times I was in a relationship, all times I've declined. Now I notice if I don't say anything in these situations then there is no interest for the men to pursue.

But it's been more prominent now that I'm single since two male friends have confessed their love for me and I was taken aback.

I'm curious if fellow Virgos have had similar experiences.
Yup but it's not intentional tho. But I never fail to piss of my wife lol. I'm usually just trying to help or try to make someone feel better- then they think I'm flirting and so they respond by flirting back.



...

The flirt word is carelessly thrown around. Heck, even a certain look or compliment to someone can be considered 'flirting.' The fine line between being nice and flirty is pretty much non existent.
click to expand

This.

It's the reason I intentionally stopped to smile in certain situations. I have to remind myself to put on the blank face, cause the nonsense of phone numbers and surprised faces when I say What, when did I show a sign? became too much. People are ungrateful.

Edit.

Now I remember my boyfriend telling me in a nice way if I could be less friendly to men, because they receive different message from the one I wanted to convey. Men are from...
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Weeds
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Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Weeds
This sounds more like sagittarius..

I am completely incapable of flirting.

I don't even know when someone is flirting back till years after the fact...

Woman could throw their vagina at me and I'd say " oh, excuse you"
So if woman come up to you, lick her lips and tells you you look good enough to eat!

You will be thinking she wants a sandwich?
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I think she was just being nice.
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Gemitati
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Posted by Weeds
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Weeds
This sounds more like sagittarius..

I am completely incapable of flirting.

I don't even know when someone is flirting back till years after the fact...

Woman could throw their vagina at me and I'd say " oh, excuse you"
So if woman come up to you, lick her lips and tells you you look good enough to eat!

You will be thinking she wants a sandwich?
I think she was just being nice.

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Are you an idiot? (I mean it with love and admiration)
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Weeds
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Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Weeds
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Weeds
This sounds more like sagittarius..

I am completely incapable of flirting.

I don't even know when someone is flirting back till years after the fact...

Woman could throw their vagina at me and I'd say " oh, excuse you"
So if woman come up to you, lick her lips and tells you you look good enough to eat!

You will be thinking she wants a sandwich?
I think she was just being nice.


Are you an idiot? (I mean it with love and admiration)
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The term is "innocent revelry"

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Sunsetvirgo
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Oh my... This is me to the Max. I was actually talking to my bff about how I may flirt a little, and she said "A LITTLE — GIRL YOUR SUCH A FLIRT HOW HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED??!??" And I was like "wot ??"

After talking about it, I realized that.. Hmm maybe I AM a huge flirt considering I always get in situations where I even go as far to lead the guy on, or get glares from the girlfriend. But I'm just trying to be nice, honestly ?

Plus all my sag placements, oh boy am I oblivious to the apparent heavy flirting I do.
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Sunsetvirgo
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Posted by starwars
have you been in a situation where the guys are buddies and you like the one you avoid -cause virgo logic- and he start thinking that you actually like his friend because you're comfortable around his friend?

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Oh man. If this isn't me. So then the guy starts to usually fall back and then you get sad because you don't understand why he's acting this way even though you caused it all?

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Yes, yes I do.
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Sunsetvirgo
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Posted by Virgorean


I guess it depends on whether you judge it by the intent or the observable behavior...

For example, my best friend is a virgo and she just recently realized that she flirts without being aware of it. She told me that she got so invovled in some vivid conversations with random guys (in some parties) that the guys' wife or gf always had to interrupt the conversation to "cool them down" (they appeared to be heavily flirting). She told me she felt bad cuz it had happened many times and she did not intend to steal any guys. (And guess what, one of the married guys tried to get with her afterwards and she was very offended.)

I say, it's hard to draw the line since no one can see their own facial expression/body language when they are interacting with the opposite sex... If it really bothers you, next time you can pay attention to your own tone of voice and body language and see if there are differences between when you talk to a guy and when you talk to a girl. My friend always talks with a higher pitch, excited voice, more dramatic facial expressions (e.g. raising eye brows freqently), and laughs more frequently when she talks to guys :p
Now that I can understand. If it's a topic that piques my interest I get excitable about talking about it because often then not I don't come across people who will. I react the same regardless the gender. I come off as peppy and with a warm attitude. I'd say the distinction is between topics of interest. For women, we tend to talk about people, trends, food because we connect more in those subjects, but I tend to talk football, politics, nerdy ramblings with men not only because I connect with them in those aspects, but those are my main interests and not many females care about those. Maybe I'm unknowingly striking the men with their interests?
click to expand

Ooh same. My voice pitch gets higher because I get so excited, my eyes get squinty and my smile gets wider. Yeahhhhh..
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Virgorean
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Posted by yupvirgoo


Yeah I think so.

Sometimes we really go out of our way to help and I guess some people just aren't used to that. I think it's just sad that plain decency is mistaken for flirting.

One time I had a female colleague who was waiting for the bus to get her home. And I was on my way home too but I always brought my car over tho it's just a 40 min drive (coz im neurotic and always think i might need it lol). It's just like this any other day but this time there was this downpour of rain. And she lives SO FAR away and it was getting dark. She's going the opposite direction of where I live but I offered to help her home but she felt kinda embarrassed I guess so she refused at first so I made up a lame lie to make her feel better- "I'm going to meet up a friend there anyway." (lol)

We both knew I was lying but the rain was getting worse so she got in. It was so awkward in the car coz she probably thought I had some sort of hidden agenda. She said it jokingly but I'm a Virgo lol so (overthink). I think she felt more comfortable when I started spouting about my family, my wife and my kids.

I'm like one of those people in the airport that when you sit with me, I'd talk about my dogs and my kids lol.

I got home late coz of that and my wife tried to start her Leo moon method of "I'm going to start a fight coz I'm bored." lol

Image Not Found
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I can't tell you how many times I got into arguments with an ex over helping out a male friend. And not any friend, these are friends I've had for years before my exes! And he was an alpha. He was an Aqua and some real insecurity issues.
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Virgorean
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Posted by starwars
Posted by yupvirgoo
Posted by starwars
have you been in a situation where the guys are buddies and you like the one you avoid -cause virgo logic- and he start thinking that you actually like his friend because you're comfortable around his friend?

Image Not Found
Reverse the genders and it happened to me lol
why are we like this?
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@starwars Definitely. Subconsciously, or maybe intentionally, I do it to make my crush jealous because I'll conjure this elaborate plan that using reverse psychology will work when in actuality it backfires and then you're left to clean up the mess for misleading the friend who now thinks you like him. Yep, Virgo logic.
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Virgorean
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Posted by Sunsetvirgo
Oh my... This is me to the Max. I was actually talking to my bff about how I may flirt a little, and she said "A LITTLE — GIRL YOUR SUCH A FLIRT HOW HAVE YOU NOT NOTICED??!??" And I was like "wot ??"

After talking about it, I realized that.. Hmm maybe I AM a huge flirt considering I always get in situations where I even go as far to lead the guy on, or get glares from the girlfriend. But I'm just trying to be nice, honestly ?

Plus all my sag placements, oh boy am I oblivious to the apparent heavy flirting I do.
Ditto. I've been accused of leading on some men too. I don't know if it's because of my reserved demeanor that gives off mystery that catches attention. But if I was an extroverted life of the party social butterfly then I'd be considered 'being myself?' You know the usual "Oh that's just Jan. That's NORMALLY how she is." I would think in the latter sense that when people see how outgoing you are they chalk it up to you're friendly with everyone, therefore no offense given. However, an introvert keeps to themselves so naturally people would assume they don't like talking, but when they do talk it's like giving someone their special undivided attention yielding a flirty vibe because that person feels special the attention is on them. But in truth, that person found the right buttons to push that causes the introvert to speak. I just don't understand it ?
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Posted by Canbullrius
Posted by Queenofthepheasantfairies
I know this is on the virgo board, but my friendliness is always mistaken for flirtatiousness. Having said that though. I do flirt a bit too, but then I think there is nothing wrong with that.
Internet is not so bad....as long as it's not going as far as exchanging messages and images..

It's when it get's real in front of your other half it get's bad.

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Hmm I don't believe I flirt on the internet. It is more in person.

But I do flirt in person, more so with people I know, "strangers" I can flirt with them once I have sussed them out a little.