urbansophisticate
@urbansophisticate
9 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 94 · Topics: 15
From your perspective virgo...
He's yet to respond to my e-vite
?
Social invites aren't always a safe bet... If it was just you and him he would be there asap... but if it's full of unknowns he will bow out of the invite...
That is assuming he does like you....
That is assuming he does like you....
I agree with @weeds ...
Also to add, Virgos can be shy. Maybe he's not ready to attend bc there will be people very close to you. Maybe he's not ready to meet your close friends and family that may be there?
Has he met any people that are close to you? Can you explain your situation with him a bit further?
Also to add, Virgos can be shy. Maybe he's not ready to attend bc there will be people very close to you. Maybe he's not ready to meet your close friends and family that may be there?
Has he met any people that are close to you? Can you explain your situation with him a bit further?
@curlyaries
No, he hasn't met any of my friends or family. I met 1 of his close friends. That was by coincidence. However, his friend was eager to share with me what he heard about me (lots of good things)
This guy holds my hand in the bed at night and we have deep conversations in the dark then he kinda goes away for a day or two then we pick back up.
We did just meet in June but it doesn't take forever to know if you want to keep unraveling someone to know them more.
I haven't heard from him, so I started thinking he may not come. If I got an invite from someone I liked, I'd be so prepared to go! It's not like I'm planning to get on a mic and introduce him to everyone. Its a Mix & Mingle social...and the e-vite clearly states that.
No, he hasn't met any of my friends or family. I met 1 of his close friends. That was by coincidence. However, his friend was eager to share with me what he heard about me (lots of good things)
This guy holds my hand in the bed at night and we have deep conversations in the dark then he kinda goes away for a day or two then we pick back up.
We did just meet in June but it doesn't take forever to know if you want to keep unraveling someone to know them more.
I haven't heard from him, so I started thinking he may not come. If I got an invite from someone I liked, I'd be so prepared to go! It's not like I'm planning to get on a mic and introduce him to everyone. Its a Mix & Mingle social...and the e-vite clearly states that.
@curlyaries
he verbally expressed to me that he "likes me and how things are going". He said it in a tone where he was almost trying to convince me to keep things at a steady yet progressive pace.
he verbally expressed to me that he "likes me and how things are going". He said it in a tone where he was almost trying to convince me to keep things at a steady yet progressive pace.
Posted by urbansophisticate
If a woman you're involved with (emotionally and sexually) invites you to her birthday social, would you go?
If he doesn't come, does he have any recourse? lol
No seriously, him not coming lets me know he's not interested in anything serious with me. Unless there was a family emergency or something along the lines of such.
What do you guys think about this? If it helps, I've known him since June 4. My bday is tomorrow.
If you're "emotionally" involved along with sexually....how is this a question ?
You'd be on the phone here and there and he'd give a yes or no.
Posted by urbansophisticateThat's the thing, you are both different people. Since he told that we likes you and seems to want to progress with you, he may just be weary of meeting your family too soon. Virgos are very private people and if you are not official yet, maybe that makes him feel hesitant to meet people close to you. Don't take this personally and just see what happens/when he will contact you again... you've already seen the distant behavior of sorts. It's very Virgo-like. Don't doubt yourself, just see how the next communication goes.
@curlyaries
No, he hasn't met any of my friends or family. I met 1 of his close friends. That was by coincidence. However, his friend was eager to share with me what he heard about me (lots of good things)
This guy holds my hand in the bed at night and we have deep conversations in the dark then he kinda goes away for a day or two then we pick back up.
We did just meet in June but it doesn't take forever to know if you want to keep unraveling someone to know them more.
I haven't heard from him, so I started thinking he may not come. If I got an invite from someone I liked, I'd be so prepared to go! It's not like I'm planning to get on a mic and introduce him to everyone. Its a Mix & Mingle social...and the e-vite clearly states that.
Obviously, the only emotional connection is you being so insecure that you've attached feelings to him, where it doesn't belong.
You're attempting to emotionally blackmail him and corner him .. and he knows it.
Like a good Virgo ..... he'll run away as fast as he can. Any/all men would run away from a woman who is trying to force him into emotionally committing to her.
My hope is that he pulls all the way back, and just dismisses you as a manipulator.
You're attempting to emotionally blackmail him and corner him .. and he knows it.
Like a good Virgo ..... he'll run away as fast as he can. Any/all men would run away from a woman who is trying to force him into emotionally committing to her.
My hope is that he pulls all the way back, and just dismisses you as a manipulator.
@p-angel
Not in my intentions at all to emotionally manipulate him. If he reads into my invite the way you are as me "manipulating" him, I hope he does run away. He sounds more insecure than me. I'm just inviting the good guy! Geesh! Lol
Not in my intentions at all to emotionally manipulate him. If he reads into my invite the way you are as me "manipulating" him, I hope he does run away. He sounds more insecure than me. I'm just inviting the good guy! Geesh! Lol
I'm a cancer, this is my special day. So me inviting him should be a clue that I'm digging him. Although, from a Virgos perspective I think he may bail on me. Thanks guys
Are the two of you in an exclusive relationship?
You mentioned "emotions" and "sex."
But no "relationship."
I think you may want to see where the two of you stand first, prior to inviting him to any personal functions that he might deem to be uncomfortable for him.
Just my .02
You mentioned "emotions" and "sex."
But no "relationship."
I think you may want to see where the two of you stand first, prior to inviting him to any personal functions that he might deem to be uncomfortable for him.
Just my .02
Posted by urbansophisticateDon't assume. Just come flat out and ASK him.
Although, from a Virgos perspective I think he may bail on me. Thanks guys
@taurusbull1977
I sent him an invitation. That is my asking him. What other way should I "ask" him? Send a letter in a bottle?
There is no significant relationship between the two of us. We like each other (it's been said by both parties) and there's a mutual speed and respect.
Emotions and sex can occur before a relationship exists.
If he is uncomfortable coming to a social that I personally invited him to, I find that to be a personal problem.
I sent him an invitation. That is my asking him. What other way should I "ask" him? Send a letter in a bottle?
There is no significant relationship between the two of us. We like each other (it's been said by both parties) and there's a mutual speed and respect.
Emotions and sex can occur before a relationship exists.
If he is uncomfortable coming to a social that I personally invited him to, I find that to be a personal problem.
Posted by urbansophisticateI hope that was sarcasm.
@taurusbull1977
I sent him an invitation. That is my asking him. What other way should I "ask" him? Send a letter in a bottle?
Try ASKING him where the two of you stand instead, and tell him that you would like to take it to the next level.
Your attempts scream "side-stepping" and "skirting" around an issue.
I don't think it's manipulation as P-Angel suggested, however,I believe this stems from your own fear of rejection.
Don't project on an issue with silly assumptions, and assume the outcome will be based on something that was concrete, and fairly presented in front of him.
Put your BIG girl draws on and simply ASK him!
"If he is uncomfortable coming to a social that I personally invited him to, I find that to be a personal problem. "
Remember, you wouldn't know that unless you ASKED him.
He's a Virgo...
1. He could be shy
2. He could be socially awkward
3. He may want to take things slow.
4. He may be analyzing it in his head over and over again.
5. he may not be that interested.
If not responding to an event is a 'concrete' answer for you, then you are clearly delusional.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
@weeds
heres where I got thrown off.
I originally invited him, meaning I asked him to come to the social by sending an evite. He never responded to it so it led me to wonder if he would come. My line of communication was open in the beginning with the evite I sent him. So it took extra effort on my behalf to know if he's coming or not. Hence me asking a second time. And I still don't even know if he's coming with that response he gave. "Will have to see"
but, maybe I'm retarded.
heres where I got thrown off.
I originally invited him, meaning I asked him to come to the social by sending an evite. He never responded to it so it led me to wonder if he would come. My line of communication was open in the beginning with the evite I sent him. So it took extra effort on my behalf to know if he's coming or not. Hence me asking a second time. And I still don't even know if he's coming with that response he gave. "Will have to see"
but, maybe I'm retarded.
Posted by urbansophisticateWhat did you say in your 2nd attempt to see if he was attending?
@weeds
heres where I got thrown off.
I originally invited him, meaning I asked him to come to the social by sending an evite. He never responded to it so it led me to wonder if he would come. My line of communication was open in the beginning with the evite I sent him. So it took extra effort on my behalf to know if he's coming or not. Hence me asking a second time. And I still don't even know if he's coming with that response he gave. "Will have to see"
but, maybe I'm retarded.
Posted by WeedsYes, because "we'll see" is such a direct answer. SMH.Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
click to expand
THIS response is SO Virgo, it's as predictable as death and taxes.
Urbansophisticate,
There is some great info on here, especially from TaurusBull1977. She put it very accurately when it comes to male Virgo's imho.
He's a Virgo...
1. He could be shy
2. He could be socially awkward
3. He may want to take things slow.
4. He may be analyzing it in his head over and over again.
5. he may not be that interested.
it has been my experience with male virgo's in various types of realtonships, male virgos don't like to be on YOUR time clock. They make up their minds to do stuff like responding to an invite or something else that you need help with when they are good and ready. They have to "analyze" it to death first. It's mind boggling, but it is what it is.
I can relate to your desire to simply have a "yes or no" answer. Either way, I'm sure you'll be ok with it, but it's just wanting to be treated with respect. I get that. Trust me, been there, done that.
You've now asked him, which some encouraged you to do so. I agree, that was the right move. However, his reply was typical male virgo. You were already somewhat confused by his lack of response, and now, his reply of "we'll see" just made it even more complex.
Male Virgo's are very ambiguous in their words and message they send when dealing with affairs of the heart (in a non committed relationship).
Their paramount objective is to protect themselves at all costs. They don't see your perspective because they don't consider it. It's all about their POV and needs.
Your best move is to move on and enjoy your event with or without him. If you keep pressing him, he will run. That is the Virgo way. If he's really into you, you will know it and he will not give you the ambiguous "we'll see" crap.
So have a great time, live your life and let him live alone in his little crazy world in his head.
Posted by SensitiveBluesPosted by Weedsif you think that's direct your'e a complete moron.Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
he basically didn't even give an answer. That's what's WEAK about VIRGOS, they're not concrete or stable.
click to expand
I hear your still bitter.
Posted by gemini64Posted by WeedsYes, because "we'll see" is such a direct answer. SMH.Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
THIS response is SO Virgo, it's as predictable as death and taxes.
Urbansophisticate,
There is some great info on here, especially from TaurusBull1977. She put it very accurately when it comes to male Virgo's imho.
He's a Virgo...
1. He could be shy
2. He could be socially awkward
3. He may want to take things slow.
4. He may be analyzing it in his head over and over again.
5. he may not be that interested.
it has been my experience with male virgo's in various types of realtonships, male virgos don't like to be on YOUR time clock. They make up their minds to do stuff like responding to an invite or something else that you need help with when they are good and ready. They have to "analyze" it to death first. It's mind boggling, but it is what it is.
I can relate to your desire to simply have a "yes or no" answer. Either way, I'm sure you'll be ok with it, but it's just wanting to be treated with respect. I get that. Trust me, been there, done that.
You've now asked him, which some encouraged you to do so. I agree, that was the right move. However, his reply was typical male virgo. You were already somewhat confused by his lack of response, and now, his reply of "we'll see" just made it even more complex.
Male Virgo's are very ambiguous in their words and message they send when dealing with affairs of the heart (in a non committed relationship).
Their paramount objective is to protect themselves at all costs. They don't see your perspective because they don't consider it. It's all about their POV and needs.
Your best move is to move on and enjoy your event with or without him. If you keep pressing him, he will run. That is the Virgo way. If he's really into you, you will know it and he will not give you the ambiguous "we'll see" crap.
So have a great time, live your life and let him live alone in his little crazy world in his head.
click to expand
Mmm ppl are right geminis do yap yap yap.
Posted by SensitiveBluesDirect communication on the cancers part.Posted by Weedsit has nothing to do with bitterness, but everything to do with how you think.Posted by SensitiveBluesPosted by Weedsif you think that's direct your'e a complete moron.Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
he basically didn't even give an answer. That's what's WEAK about VIRGOS, they're not concrete or stable.
I hear your still bitter.
you actually stated that was DIRECT communication when the VIRGO wasn't direct at all
this is a continuous problem
i wish you would just own up to sheet and act NORMAL
like normal human beings for once
how frustrating
click to expand
It's the cancer who has trouble converting emotions and thoughts into words.
Virgos don't usually give straight answers for the simple reason that things could come up and end up letting that person down.
That's one reason...
Another reason is socially awkward situations are to always be avoided plain and simple.
Posted by urbansophisticatePerson to person is always the better option.
@weeds
heres where I got thrown off.
I originally invited him, meaning I asked him to come to the social by sending an evite. He never responded to it so it led me to wonder if he would come. My line of communication was open in the beginning with the evite I sent him. So it took extra effort on my behalf to know if he's coming or not. Hence me asking a second time. And I still don't even know if he's coming with that response he gave. "Will have to see"
but, maybe I'm retarded.
Anything other then that becomes impersonal.
Cancer and Virgos are an awkward couple and need a lot of communication and understanding.
A whhooole lotta time invested just to get it right.
Posted by SensitiveBluesPosted by Weedswhy? i remember last year my EX ran away from watching fireworks on the roof, when i told him my family was coming.Posted by SensitiveBluesDirect communication on the cancers part.Posted by Weedsit has nothing to do with bitterness, but everything to do with how you think.Posted by SensitiveBluesPosted by Weedsif you think that's direct your'e a complete moron.Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
he basically didn't even give an answer. That's what's WEAK about VIRGOS, they're not concrete or stable.
I hear your still bitter.
you actually stated that was DIRECT communication when the VIRGO wasn't direct at all
this is a continuous problem
i wish you would just own up to sheet and act NORMAL
like normal human beings for once
how frustrating
It's the cancer who has trouble converting emotions and thoughts into words.
Virgos don't usually give straight answers for the simple reason that things could come up and end up letting that person down.
That's one reason...
Another reason is socially awkward situations are to always be avoided plain and simple.
that to me showed he really wasn't interested in the long term, but i skipped that red flag and chalked it up to him being too shy.
never excuse a man's behavior.
avoidance just makes the other person feel bad
click to expand
Never give a Virgo a chance to run. You shouldn't have said nothing and had be forced into the situation
He most likely hasn't logged on to even see the e-vite which would explain why he hasn't responded. My virguy ex hardly ever used his social media outlets, most likely having them because people asked him. I suggest you invite him personally so that you know he is aware of the event, and he can arrange his schedule/respond to your invite as he chooses.
Posted by SensitiveBlues
" has been my experience with male virgo's in various types of realtonships, male virgos don't like to be on YOUR time clock. They make up their minds to do stuff like responding to an invite or something else that you need help with when they are good and ready. They have to "analyze" it to death first. It's mind boggling, but it is what it is.
"
which actually shows that they're not giving and are pretty selfish....that's why this whole servant virgo never rang well with me
I have NEVER experienced a male virgo who embraced serving others, quite the opposite in fact; they wanted everyone to do what they wanted, how they wanted it and when they wanted it done.
And IF by chance they actually did something for you, it was solely to build up their ego. I can recall so many things I did for the ones I was involved with in variety of relationships and rarely anything was reciprocated.
I know, I know, PA would tell me I'm projecting my expectations on the Virgo. Perhaps, but then again, I've always believed in giving and certainly would appreciate a reciprocation once in a while. It's human nature.
With that said, I'm confident that with or without that reciprocation, the doing part for me was part of my DNA.
Not so much for male virgo's in my past. So it is what it is.
Posted by P-AngelInvitation to a BDay = blackmailing to emotional connection?
Obviously, the only emotional connection is you being so insecure that you've attached feelings to him, where it doesn't belong.
You're attempting to emotionally blackmail him and corner him .. and he knows it.
Like a good Virgo ..... he'll run away as fast as he can. Any/all men would run away from a woman who is trying to force him into emotionally committing to her.
My hope is that he pulls all the way back, and just dismisses you as a manipulator.
Oh, I forgot, you have that 'thing' about gifts, cheapo.
So is this 'man'.
Posted by WeedsProbably because male Virgo's are too afraid to be open and honest. We Gems aren't afraid of communication. We are confident and embrace dialog.Posted by gemini64Posted by WeedsYes, because "we'll see" is such a direct answer. SMH.Posted by urbansophisticateWelcome to the wonderful world of open and direct communication.
I asked him, he says he "Will have to see" - I think I know what that means, lol.
Although he let me know he misses me and wants to see me. ( maybe just not a social gathering) Fair enough.
If he comes, great. If he doesn't come, I won't fault him too much.
Getting it out & asking him sure feels better than wondering.
THIS response is SO Virgo, it's as predictable as death and taxes.
Urbansophisticate,
There is some great info on here, especially from TaurusBull1977. She put it very accurately when it comes to male Virgo's imho.
He's a Virgo...
1. He could be shy
2. He could be socially awkward
3. He may want to take things slow.
4. He may be analyzing it in his head over and over again.
5. he may not be that interested.
it has been my experience with male virgo's in various types of realtonships, male virgos don't like to be on YOUR time clock. They make up their minds to do stuff like responding to an invite or something else that you need help with when they are good and ready. They have to "analyze" it to death first. It's mind boggling, but it is what it is.
I can relate to your desire to simply have a "yes or no" answer. Either way, I'm sure you'll be ok with it, but it's just wanting to be treated with respect. I get that. Trust me, been there, done that.
You've now asked him, which some encouraged you to do so. I agree, that was the right move. However, his reply was typical male virgo. You were already somewhat confused by his lack of response, and now, his reply of "we'll see" just made it even more complex.
Male Virgo's are very ambiguous in their words and message they send when dealing with affairs of the heart (in a non committed relationship).
Their paramount objective is to protect themselves at all costs. They don't see your perspective because they don't consider it. It's all about their POV and needs.
Your best move is to move on and enjoy your event with or without him. If you keep pressing him, he will run. That is the Virgo way. If he's really into you, you will know it and he will not give you the ambiguous "we'll see" crap.
So have a great time, live your life and let him live alone in his little crazy world in his head.
Mmm ppl are right geminis do yap yap yap.click to expand
Avoidance = Male Virgo
I agree with @Weeds. While the Virgo didn't give a clear answer, the burden was on the Cancer (OP) to make it clear that she was personally inviting him. E-vites don't really cut it in my opinion. If I was interested in a guy, I might send him an e-vite to an event I'm hosting, but I'd much rather call him up and ask him if he'd be interested in attending. An e-vite feels more...general? Either way, Weeds was referring to the Cancer being more open and direct with what she wanted with him. Which (in my opinion) got her a more substantive answer than simply trying to figure out what he's thinking/how he's feelings from a lack of response to an e-vite.
OP if he doesn't go to the event I wouldn't hold it against him if I were you. He definitely is interested, but maybe not ready to meet your social circle 🙂
OP if he doesn't go to the event I wouldn't hold it against him if I were you. He definitely is interested, but maybe not ready to meet your social circle 🙂
This fiasco is actually a good thing for him. Obviously, she has little regard for what he might consider a big deal. Most people in here, and in RL consider the meeting of family a big fucking deal ... for the fact that she has so little concern for how he probably feels about this, and how just throws it aside like a trivial matter .... is clear writing on the wall that she has no respect for boundaries, nor cares about how the other person might feel being thrown into a situation.
she has all kinds of red flags waving here for him to see that she has really bad judgment ... so, for his sake, it's better he saw this in her now, before any feelings developed on his part.
Did he show up?
@p-angel
Little respect for boundaries you say. I have a story about boundaries...
I met his friend on our second date. Talking about a story plot. He (the Virgo) put me in an awkward situation. I mean, no consideration of how I might feel bout this. Inviting him to my birthday social was an invitation for him to choose to come. He was given a choice. I didn't tell him to meet me at a place thinking it's only me and him and boom my friends and family are all there too. So creating a "trivial matter" never occurred here.
The initial invite was me showing him I care. Because I gave him that choice. He chose to not respond which is the point here. Bad judgement is inviting a girl to your place for a second date then upon her arrival, she happens to meet one of his close buds. Then have him blab about how much he's heard about you. Now thats a MAJOR red flag.
*slaps knee in laughter
@pnmee No he did not come. I did however go to his place afterwards and we celebrated there.
Little respect for boundaries you say. I have a story about boundaries...
I met his friend on our second date. Talking about a story plot. He (the Virgo) put me in an awkward situation. I mean, no consideration of how I might feel bout this. Inviting him to my birthday social was an invitation for him to choose to come. He was given a choice. I didn't tell him to meet me at a place thinking it's only me and him and boom my friends and family are all there too. So creating a "trivial matter" never occurred here.
The initial invite was me showing him I care. Because I gave him that choice. He chose to not respond which is the point here. Bad judgement is inviting a girl to your place for a second date then upon her arrival, she happens to meet one of his close buds. Then have him blab about how much he's heard about you. Now thats a MAJOR red flag.
*slaps knee in laughter
@pnmee No he did not come. I did however go to his place afterwards and we celebrated there.
@busybees88
I don't think I was attempting to make the readers here believe that I thought he owed me anything. It seems like the proper thing to do after receiving an invitation is RSVP with a no or yes. I can see the discomfort from his side. He may feel uncomfortable & thats fine. It was rude to not say anything.
Thats good you like to compartmentalize things. Maybe he does as well. I've seen the responses here from the virgo's and I've came to a conclusion. I see the extremely cautious nature here.
Too soon? Not for me. I'll be sure to handle things with extra caution moving forward 😉
I don't think I was attempting to make the readers here believe that I thought he owed me anything. It seems like the proper thing to do after receiving an invitation is RSVP with a no or yes. I can see the discomfort from his side. He may feel uncomfortable & thats fine. It was rude to not say anything.
Thats good you like to compartmentalize things. Maybe he does as well. I've seen the responses here from the virgo's and I've came to a conclusion. I see the extremely cautious nature here.
Too soon? Not for me. I'll be sure to handle things with extra caution moving forward 😉
Posted by urbansophisticate😉
@p-angel
Little respect for boundaries you say. I have a story about boundaries...
I met his friend on our second date. Talking about a story plot. He (the Virgo) put me in an awkward situation. I mean, no consideration of how I might feel bout this. Inviting him to my birthday social was an invitation for him to choose to come. He was given a choice. I didn't tell him to meet me at a place thinking it's only me and him and boom my friends and family are all there too. So creating a "trivial matter" never occurred here.
The initial invite was me showing him I care. Because I gave him that choice. He chose to not respond which is the point here. Bad judgement is inviting a girl to your place for a second date then upon her arrival, she happens to meet one of his close buds. Then have him blab about how much he's heard about you. Now thats a MAJOR red flag.
*slaps knee in laughter
@pnmee No he did not come. I did however go to his place afterwards and we celebrated there.
Posted by urbansophisticateA month? Lmao get real, it has only been a month, I mean I see no issue with him coming but if there has been no interest expressed in you two seeing each other seriously (i.e. exclusively) a man may find a bday invite, where friends AND maybe family are involved as frightening.
If a woman you're involved with (emotionally and sexually) invites you to her birthday social, would you go?
If he doesn't come, does he have any recourse? lol
No seriously, him not coming lets me know he's not interested in anything serious with me. Unless there was a family emergency or something along the lines of such.
What do you guys think about this? If it helps, I've known him since June 4. My bday is tomorrow.
I think it would of been best to wait and see if he would of offered to treat you to a bday dinner or drinks than invite him to an event where your relationships is undoubtedly going to be placed under a microscrope.
@malloryor
yeah I'm on board with the whole frightening thing now. Im getting a lot of the same responses from people so I hope everyone at least gets to page 3 before they offer .02. I meant that in the nicest way possible. lol
You see no issue with him coming, neither do I.
yeah I'm on board with the whole frightening thing now. Im getting a lot of the same responses from people so I hope everyone at least gets to page 3 before they offer .02. I meant that in the nicest way possible. lol
You see no issue with him coming, neither do I.
Posted by urbansophisticateHow is this a bad thing..? Or a major red flag..?
@p-angel
Little respect for boundaries you say. I have a story about boundaries...
I met his friend on our second date. Talking about a story plot. He (the Virgo) put me in an awkward situation. I mean, no consideration of how I might feel bout this. Inviting him to my birthday social was an invitation for him to choose to come. He was given a choice. I didn't tell him to meet me at a place thinking it's only me and him and boom my friends and family are all there too. So creating a "trivial matter" never occurred here.
The initial invite was me showing him I care. Because I gave him that choice. He chose to not respond which is the point here. Bad judgement is inviting a girl to your place for a second date then upon her arrival, she happens to meet one of his close buds. Then have him blab about how much he's heard about you. Now thats a MAJOR red flag.
*slaps knee in laughter
@pnmee No he did not come. I did however go to his place afterwards and we celebrated there.
Unless you're being facetious?
You guys haven't known each other for that long, he might think it's io early to meet all of your friends.
Posted by CurlyAriesPosted by urbansophisticateWhat did you say in your 2nd attempt to see if he was attending?
@weeds
heres where I got thrown off.
I originally invited him, meaning I asked him to come to the social by sending an evite. He never responded to it so it led me to wonder if he would come. My line of communication was open in the beginning with the evite I sent him. So it took extra effort on my behalf to know if he's coming or not. Hence me asking a second time. And I still don't even know if he's coming with that response he gave. "Will have to see"
but, maybe I'm retarded.
click to expand
He actually text me before I got the chance to ask him. He text saying he missed me and wanted to know when he could see me again. Thats when I responded with "if you're comfortable would you come to my social tonight?"
then he said he never got the invite, but everyone else I sent it to rsvp'd.. seems fishy, but moving forward.
He responded with "Will have to see" after me asking.
Posted by zFlavorPosted by zFlavorListen to what I say now.... Hes gone make your heart bleed.Posted by urbansophisticatehes not interested
If a woman you're involved with (emotionally and sexually) invites you to her birthday social, would you go?
If he doesn't come, does he have any recourse? lol
No seriously, him not coming lets me know he's not interested in anything serious with me. Unless there was a family emergency or something along the lines of such.
What do you guys think about this? If it helps, I've known him since June 4. My bday is tomorrow.
click to expand
He's got an ice box huh?
You rewarded him with sex and he didn't go to your party nor acknowledge the invite
Your kidding right? Your not setting the tone of respect and your worth
Cuddling in bed doesn't not align with "I respect you and your important enough for me to attend your birthday" so you go reward him for bad behavior
All the way wrong
Your kidding right? Your not setting the tone of respect and your worth
Cuddling in bed doesn't not align with "I respect you and your important enough for me to attend your birthday" so you go reward him for bad behavior
All the way wrong
@balblair
I have to suppress my desires in order for a man to respect me?
So, if I'm horny and want sex from a guy, I can't have it because I must instruct him to respect me?
I'm going to play devils advocate here and suggest that only have knowing him for one month was perhaps his reason for not coming to my bday social. Maybe he wasn't ready to meet my family and friends just yet. So I didn't take it personal and go play some silly game of holding the pussy back from him in order to teach him some lesson.
I'm respected by him even with us having sex.
Reward him? I must remind you it was "my birthday"...so if anyone was rewarded, that would've been me.
Our sex is rewarding for both of us 😉 He wasn't the only recipient.
I have to suppress my desires in order for a man to respect me?
So, if I'm horny and want sex from a guy, I can't have it because I must instruct him to respect me?
I'm going to play devils advocate here and suggest that only have knowing him for one month was perhaps his reason for not coming to my bday social. Maybe he wasn't ready to meet my family and friends just yet. So I didn't take it personal and go play some silly game of holding the pussy back from him in order to teach him some lesson.
I'm respected by him even with us having sex.
Reward him? I must remind you it was "my birthday"...so if anyone was rewarded, that would've been me.
Our sex is rewarding for both of us 😉 He wasn't the only recipient.
@zflavor It's noted and I'm aware. Im treading lightly.
Your not going to get the ring with this guy!
Dude didn't even reply to your invite ?!
Woman to woman this is not how any of this goes
And you've known him a month
No commitment but your giving him regular pu33y
I'm praying your like early 20's because you've handled this all the way wrong.
When a man is interested he would've been at your party front and center, even stopping by for a few would've shown he gives a fluck
He could've stopped by to wish you well, bring a rose or even give you a hug
You thought enough of him that you invited him to your birthday now your here trying to convince yourself and us that it's no big deal... I hope your like 21 as you will have some time to learn how this works when a man has a clear interest in you...
When a man is into you and likes you, an invite to be around you and share in a happy celebratory time is a great clear gesture
I hope he at least got you a birthday gift or did something really nice for you.....
Hmmm good luck.
Dude didn't even reply to your invite ?!
Woman to woman this is not how any of this goes
And you've known him a month
No commitment but your giving him regular pu33y
I'm praying your like early 20's because you've handled this all the way wrong.
When a man is interested he would've been at your party front and center, even stopping by for a few would've shown he gives a fluck
He could've stopped by to wish you well, bring a rose or even give you a hug
You thought enough of him that you invited him to your birthday now your here trying to convince yourself and us that it's no big deal... I hope your like 21 as you will have some time to learn how this works when a man has a clear interest in you...
When a man is into you and likes you, an invite to be around you and share in a happy celebratory time is a great clear gesture
I hope he at least got you a birthday gift or did something really nice for you.....
Hmmm good luck.
@balblair
I am not here to convince anyone that it's no big deal. I want to express this fact first.
I have sex with him because I want to. Not to lure him in, not to win a ring but because I want to.
Having sex without a commitment does not bar a woman from getting a commitment from a man.
You say I'm Giving him "Regular sex" sounds like I'm giving it up every day on his demand. I can't fathom the thought of that happening. That's no where close to how our relationship is developing.
I also want to point out that I am well respected by this gentleman even with him not coming to my social. We spoke about it and I'm perfectly fine with his standpoint of why he did not come.
I want you to read my earlier post where I mentioned we celebrated afterwards. The sex was a plus! Not the main course 😉
And the sex has to do with what again?
Stop telling women that they must hold out on sex in order to get a commitment.
Puhlease!
I am not here to convince anyone that it's no big deal. I want to express this fact first.
I have sex with him because I want to. Not to lure him in, not to win a ring but because I want to.
Having sex without a commitment does not bar a woman from getting a commitment from a man.
You say I'm Giving him "Regular sex" sounds like I'm giving it up every day on his demand. I can't fathom the thought of that happening. That's no where close to how our relationship is developing.
I also want to point out that I am well respected by this gentleman even with him not coming to my social. We spoke about it and I'm perfectly fine with his standpoint of why he did not come.
I want you to read my earlier post where I mentioned we celebrated afterwards. The sex was a plus! Not the main course 😉
And the sex has to do with what again?
Stop telling women that they must hold out on sex in order to get a commitment.
Puhlease!
Posted by balblair1. You have no way of knowing that
Your not going to get the ring with this guy!
Dude didn't even reply to your invite ?!
Woman to woman this is not how any of this goes
And you've known him a month
No commitment but your giving him regular pu33y
I'm praying your like early 20's because you've handled this all the way wrong.
When a man is interested he would've been at your party front and center, even stopping by for a few would've shown he gives a fluck
He could've stopped by to wish you well, bring a rose or even give you a hug
You thought enough of him that you invited him to your birthday now your here trying to convince yourself and us that it's no big deal... I hope your like 21 as you will have some time to learn how this works when a man has a clear interest in you...
When a man is into you and likes you, an invite to be around you and share in a happy celebratory time is a great clear gesture
I hope he at least got you a birthday gift or did something really nice for you.....
Hmmm good luck.
2. He was nervous
3. woman to woman, the 50's is *that* way
4. It's pussy, it's hers, and if she wants to treat it to some nice loving, go girl.
5. Not all of it, but that's the point of "getting to know someone".
6. Haha, front and center, no; not at just a month
7. He didn't want to intrude on her party
8. Age is a number, there is some old biddy on here going through signs like candy
9. JFC, the horse is dead, stop beating it, you made this point like 5 lines ago.
Girl, I hope he gave you a right proper birthday shag. Never let anyone slut shame you.
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If a woman you're involved with (emotionally and sexually) invites you to her birthday social, would you go?
If he doesn't come, does he have any recourse? lol
No seriously, him not coming lets me know he's not interested in anything serious with me. Unless there was a family emergency or something along the lines of such.
What do you guys think about this? If it helps, I've known him since June 4. My bday is tomorrow.