How to get Virgo man out of his fear?

I'm currently in love with a Virgo man who is 10 years older than me. Our current chemistry is very good: he feels comfortable talking about anything to me, tells me his life story, caring for me, protecting me, buying me cake, sharing with me about his work but we are just only friends and colleagues, nothing more.



In our last group hangout at a bar, I had to go home early but my friend said that he talked about me with her after that. He told her he knows I like him for a long time, he also likes me but he's scared to disappoint me, he's scared that our current friendship will be broken, so he wants to consider me as his little sister. But of course I don't want!

I know that if I push him, he will be scared and keep distance with me. But if I don't take any step further, will he consider me as his little sisteer forever? Please please give me advise about this case, I'm really confused now 😢

I hate it when people (mainly women) say "confused" when they really mean = I don't want to hear, nor acknowledge anything except what I want, and if I keep manipulating people into believing I'm confused, when I'm not, then they will continue to coddle me and validate my bad choices.

Hi ScorpioRuby,

Remember one thing, Virgo and Scorpio were actually one sign prior to splitting up so we're one in reality ... Our relationship with you Scorps usually starts as a friendship and develops from there ... In my case she was a colleague at work, I couldn't stand her at first but when I got to really know her I fell in love with her, we're no longer together now but we're best friends and will always be ...

You need to understand where he's coming from, if he's scared to disappoint you then in what way? I suggest you face him and talk to him about it ... If you dare! Haha

Either he isn't interested or he's being cautious because of 1. Age 2. Work or 3. Both. Either way you may beee to move on.

Posted by safwan
Hi ScorpioRuby,

Remember one thing, Virgo and Scorpio were actually one sign prior to splitting up so we're one in reality ... Our relationship with you Scorps usually starts as a friendship and develops from there ... In my case she was a colleague at work, I couldn't stand her at first but when I got to really know her I fell in love with her, we're no longer together now but we're best friends and will always be ...

You need to understand where he's coming from, if he's scared to disappoint you then in what way? I suggest you face him and talk to him about it ... If you dare! Haha

Hi safwan,

Thanks for sharing your story with me. Couldn't agree more with your idea about "one sign before split up". Many times I feel that our thinking is very similar, just different in the way we express our emotions (Virgo is callm while Scorpio is so intense).

I also want us to be friends first and I can say we already are. The issue here is my desire is getting bigger and bigger to the point that "being friends" is not enough for me now. I want to confront him to hear what he really thinks about me face to face, either he really see me as a sister or he just tries to pretend so because he's scared.

Thanks for your advise, I will take up all my courage and ask him directly 🙂

Posted by Wineaux15
Either he isn't interested or he's being cautious because of 1. Age 2. Work or 3. Both. Either way you may beee to move on.

Thanks for your advice, Wineaux15. I'm also aware of the obstacles between us so at first I'm also scared like him. But since my feelings grow bigger than my fear now.

So maybe I will confront him face to face to know how he feels and what he fears. Then I will decide whether to wait for him or move on.

Hmm, I don't know about male virgos. But when I act that way, it's because there's a chance that I'm considering it but don't want to because I'm afraid of consequences that may come out of the age difference but I'd still be open to it if they pursued me.

So with this one, I'd say don't push it or confront it head on. Let your feelings be known and be consistent even when he gets awkward. Virgos love consistency! Only when he openly pushes you away and gets dry then you know he's not interested.

Posted by Astrofan
Hmm, I don't know about male virgos. But when I act that way, it's because there's a chance that I'm considering it but don't want to because I'm afraid of consequences that may come out of the age difference but I'd still be open to it if they pursued me.

So with this one, I'd say don't push it or confront it head on. Let your feelings be known and be consistent even when he gets awkward. Virgos love consistency! Only when he openly pushes you away and gets dry then you know he's not interested.

Thanks Astrofan for your sharing.I want to confront him but I still need to get over my fear, so maybe not now. As a Scorpio, I believe that I'm patient enough so I will wait for him to make clear of his feelings for a little more. But about the consistency you mention, should I continue to show my caring for him? Does Virgo like to be taken care or they will feel irritated instead?

I was married to a Scorpio who was 10 years younger than me. I chased her, and my persistence won her over After a month or so.

I would ask him out for lunch or coffee one on one and go from there. Lunch or coffee is harmless.

Posted by Virgo_973
I was married to a Scorpio who was 10 years younger than me. I chased her, and my persistence won her over After a month or so.

I would ask him out for lunch or coffee one on one and go from there. Lunch or coffee is harmless.

Wow, I just wish that my Virgo man was like you. Maybe his feelings for are not strong enough so he just flirted with me instead of actually "chasing me" 😢

Thank you for your advise. I asked him to dinner once and he did the same thing to me once. Both dinner were fun and enjoyable but maybe he considered them "friendly dinner" rather than "dating dinner".....

Anyway, I will try my best to get him because I feel that he's the one I want to be with!

Posted by scorpioruby
He told her he knows I like him for a long time..[...]he wants to consider me as his little sister.

Abandon all hope ye who enter.

By that I mean, walk away.

From experience with Virgo men, they go after who they want and they wouldn't risk it with comments like "little sister", especially with third parties...knowing it will reach your ears. He might go along for the ride if you pursue him but he has an easy out of it "what, you knew we were work colleagues and it's against policy" "what, you knew I looked at you like a sister".

Oh also...as far as the topic title goes...that's not fear, those are excuses.

Posted by scorpioruby

Posted by Astrofan
Hmm, I don't know about male virgos. But when I act that way, it's because there's a chance that I'm considering it but don't want to because I'm afraid of consequences that may come out of the age difference but I'd still be open to it if they pursued me.

So with this one, I'd say don't push it or confront it head on. Let your feelings be known and be consistent even when he gets awkward. Virgos love consistency! Only when he openly pushes you away and gets dry then you know he's not interested.

Thanks Astrofan for your sharing.I want to confront him but I still need to get over my fear, so maybe not now. As a Scorpio, I believe that I'm patient enough so I will wait for him to make clear of his feelings for a little more. But about the consistency you mention, should I continue to show my caring for him? Does Virgo like to be taken care or they will feel irritated instead?

click to expand

Yes I'd say still show that you care. Consistency is key ??. Also we don't really like being taken care of. It's almost like an insult to our independence for me anyways. We just like to be shown that you care. If he openly disrespects you then he doesn't care/ he's not interested.

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorpioruby
He told her he knows I like him for a long time..[...]he wants to consider me as his little sister.

Abandon all hope ye who enter.

By that I mean, walk away.

From experience with Virgo men, they go after who they want and they wouldn't risk it with comments like "little sister", especially with third parties...knowing it will reach your ears. He might go along for the ride if you pursue him but he has an easy out of it "what, you knew we were work colleagues and it's against policy" "what, you knew I looked at you like a sister".

click to expand

Hmm as a Virgo, I have to disagree with this :/. Yes, we're hard on boundaries and

and play safe but remember, we're also mutable which means we can be pulled in different directions. Not easily though.

I jeopardize possible relationships all the time with statements like that. We don't play hard to get, we are hard to get. We very rarely show our cards or even play the game at all. How do we even get into relationships? It's a mystery to me. We just mutate until we find something good. Then we're all about it!

As for going along with the ride, we only do that if we either

1) don't care but you're super pushy

Or

2) we don't respect you and/or your values so we see no future but we enjoy your company

Posted by Astrofan


I jeopardize possible relationships all the time with statements like that.

Did you ever say "he is like a little brother to me" about a man you were into romantically?

If yes, do you think he should have still pursued you?

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Astrofan


I jeopardize possible relationships all the time with statements like that.

Did you ever say "he is like a little brother to me" about a man you were into romantically?

If yes, do you think he should have still pursued you?

click to expand

It's not really cut and dry like that.

But to answer your question, yes I have. I've said specifically about one person, "he's like a brother to me".

I wasn't necessarily romantically into him. but at the time, he had a chance, I just didn't want to cross those boundaries but he was persistent and consistent and we fell for each other hard. He took the lead.

Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.

I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.

Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?

Posted by CaramelizedCoffee

Posted by Damnata

Posted by Astrofan


I jeopardize possible relationships all the time with statements like that.

Did you ever say "he is like a little brother to me" about a man you were into romantically?

If yes, do you think he should have still pursued you?

Oh shit you have really pretty eyes

You outgrew the man in you

click to expand

Ands upgraded me from Tom Hardy to Jared Leto -.-

Posted by scorpioruby
Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.

I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.

Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?

Look, I'm the last person to tell you to not go for something because my chart is heavy fire/water and cardinal driven. But if you go for it, you have to bear the odds in mind. And with someone who is 36 and has a "waiting" approach to their love life...I don't know, I don't see that as something I would pour myself in. Seems like a pedestal is erected straight off the bat and if you run into a Virgo who has very specific ideas of what they want...if you don't measure up it will leave you feeling worthless.

At any rate, go for what gives you peace of mind. See if there is any reciprocity there.

Posted by scorpioruby
Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.

I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.

Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?

It depends on how worth it this is. If you really feel like this is it for you. Yes, wait it out, and put lots of effort. Guaranteed, you'll get him.

Virgo men can be self contained, some are hermetic

Unless they are into you, their indifference can be unnerving

I would leave him alone

Posted by TurquoiseArrow

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorpioruby
Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.

I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.

Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?

Look, I'm the last person to tell you to not go for something because my chart is heavy fire/water and cardinal driven. But if you go for it, you have to bear the odds in mind. And with someone who is 36 and has a "waiting" approach to their love life...I don't know, I don't see that as something I would pour myself in. Seems like a pedestal is erected straight off the bat and if you run into a Virgo who has very specific ideas of what they want...if you don't measure up it will leave you feeling worthless.

At any rate, go for what gives you peace of mind. See if there is any reciprocity there.

I think she should set a time frame based on when to give up. After the time period is up, then move on?

click to expand

Uhm I set up a time limit for myself already and it would be 6 months later (because he said it took him 1 year to confess in his latest rls). During this time, I will try to show him all I have for him. When the time is up, if he still doesn't make it clear, I will confess to him to get the final answer. Whatever the outcome, I just want to tell him my feelings at least once 🙂

Posted by scorpioruby

Posted by TurquoiseArrow

Posted by Damnata

Posted by scorpioruby
Thank you Damnata and Astrofan for your opinions.

I myself also think that at this point, he's not into me yet. He used to say publicly that women are troublesome but he didn't push me away so to me it's a good sign. He once told me about his past relationship in which it took him 1 year to make up his mind and confessed to the girl he loved. But unfortunately that girl ended up cheating on him. So it's hard for him to open his heart now. He also claimed that he doesn't like to play around and at his age now (36yrs), he want to wait for a person who can be his true love.

Considering the fact that we just know each other for nearly 6 months and I'm much younger than him, should I wait for him a little more while try to prove him that my feeling for him is real?

Look, I'm the last person to tell you to not go for something because my chart is heavy fire/water and cardinal driven. But if you go for it, you have to bear the odds in mind. And with someone who is 36 and has a "waiting" approach to their love life...I don't know, I don't see that as something I would pour myself in. Seems like a pedestal is erected straight off the bat and if you run into a Virgo who has very specific ideas of what they want...if you don't measure up it will leave you feeling worthless.

At any rate, go for what gives you peace of mind. See if there is any reciprocity there.

I think she should set a time frame based on when to give up. After the time period is up, then move on?

Uhm I set up a time limit for myself already and it would be 6 months later (because he said it took him 1 year to confess in his latest rls). During this time, I will try to show him all I have for him. When the time is up, if he still doesn't make it clear, I will confess to him to get the final answer. Whatever the outcome, I just want to tell him my feelings at least once 🙂

click to expand

6 months is great for a virgo! By the end you should really know! Don't confess your feelings! If it were me, that would scare me off. To me, it feels like you're trying to invade my space. He already knows. Just be consistent and persistent. You have to let him know that this is what he wants. With mutable signs, you have to tell them what they want.

Hi it's me again. I just want to update the progress after 3 months patiently waiting. I still have not achieved my goal but I feel like I'm moving step by step towards him. He started to show special signals to me.

In September, on his birthday, I gave him a jar of my handmade cookie and a light novel. On the next day he told me that the cookie was delicious and really had a "handmade taste" (as if he didn't believe I made them in the first place -.-). At a company party when I came home early, my colleagues asked him again how he felt about me. He was thinking really deeply before answered "She's so pure. I'm dirty. I'm just afraid that I will hurt her." . They asked him why but he didn't say anythinh more.

In early October, he returned to his country for almost a week and he sent me photos of where he went, his hometown, his home, his dog, his relatives in 3 consecutive days (started from the moment he arrived at the airport). On the 4th day he didn't send me any message so at night while I re-read his old messages, I accidentally push the call button but hung up right away. The next day he sent me photos again and asked me why I called him, I replied that "Suddenly wanna hear your voice" but I changed the topic right away (because I was so shy....)

Before he returned to his country, he asked me if there's anything I wanted him to buy (I would pay back to him afterwards). At first I show him the wallet I wanted to buy, but in the end I decided not to because I thought it was expensive. And guess what, on my birthday this year (Oct 27th), he gave me the wallet of the same brand I like and the color I like! Additionally, he forgot to get rid of the price tag and its price was double in comparison to the one I wanted to buy before. I asked him why you bought such expensive one, he replied that because it's the only one in the shop which is pink. Oh so cute! We had lunch together with other colleagues in the afternoon of this day, but he didn't ask me out for a dinner of just the two of us after that. I was afraid that he didn't want to so I didn't invite him neither....

My heart tell me that he's already fallen for me but I'm afraid to make any assumption so early. So I really want to hear your idea. For a Virgo male, are these signs strong enough? Does the time has come for me to confess? Or should I continue to wait and see?