intimacy

What are the signs that tell a Virgo is ready for intimacy? I mean, you are reading it in his eyes, he is doing this "caveman power dance" around you all the time but still no action. You fell like things are moving way too ssssllllloooowwwww.... Is he sending any secret signals to pull you closer -instead of him moving forward- and you do not get it? Okay, Virguys often let "ladies first" and you are willing to take the bold step, but is this what he want you to do? If you go to him and put your arm around his waist, will he be comfortable? How can you be sure?

Hello, I am new here to the board. Have been reading it for a while now and have learned so much here. It has helped me deal with a close friend of mine. We work together however we talked all time on the phone. At work we are very professional and work well together. He is the most interesting person I have ever met.


At one of our staff meetings I was sitting next to him, I have curly hair, his arm was up behind me across the back of the sofa that we were sitting on and I could have sworn he touched my hair.....hmmm!

Also, I have notice lately he has been making a point to either stand next to me or stand where he can see me....again,hmmmm!

And, I have noticed that when he looks at me that it is a different look than he has given me in the past, almost like he is studying me....

He calls me on my way home in bad weather to be sure I get home okay.

He warms up my car up in snow storms before
I get off work.

Yes, I like this virguy, but am still wondering if it is my imagination or not.

Lookin for some insight and maybe confirmation.

dys31,

Welcome !!!

It appears that we see what we want to see. You like this guy, so for now, you're thinking that you like this attention . . if you didn't like the guy, you'd probably be thinking he's violating you (hair touching) . . not that that means anything, except that it's all a matter of YOUR perception . . we really don't know this guy.

Could be . . he's just a gentlemen.

Insight, people could give you . . confirmation? lol

So, you know this man . . does it seem to you that he likes you?

Here's something to think about . . my husband will warm the ladies cars up in snowy weather, so it's nice and warm for them when they get in . . sometimes, he'll follow them home, if they are scard to drive . . is he hitting on them? No . . he's a gentlemen.

If this guy is crushing on you, he sounds like a really nice guy to date, he'd be respectable and curteous. If he's not, what a great friend you've gained.

Either way . . congrats on finding a sweet new person in your life.

P- Angel,

Thanks for the reply 🙂

There is more to the story but I am being cautious what all to write..not sure, maybe

because I have never been one to post on a MB before, telling people I dont know in person personal thoughts and so on.

This friend I speak of, we once got into an arguemnt, he was pretty hard on me but BOY how I learned from it, I have learned so much about myself from him. He is an awesome teacher.
Heck, I am still learning from him. Anyways, after this fight he called me on my cell on the way home and told me I am his better half of him and how sorry he was that he hurt me, that he only wants the best for me and does not want me to repeat the same mistakes he has made at work. I did not think too much about it at the time but it keeps coming back to me.

Very slowly he has shared things about himself over the last 5 months that are quit personal and I do trust him so I have done the same, I figure if he wants to trust me then I should do the same and trust back. I am beginning to think that I can't deny the bond we have.

He asked me once if I would always be there for him....he recieved a yes of course.

Thanks for your input, if anything else, yes, he is a very special person.

P-Angel:
"my husband will warm the ladies cars up in snowy weather, so it's nice and warm for them when they get in . . sometimes, he'll follow them home, if they are scard to drive . . is he hitting on them? No . . he's a gentlemen."

There is a difference though... Somethings he would do just for you not for other women. He may warm up everyone's car, but he will for example offer a hot cup of coffee or check the tires as well *just for you*. The way he talks, the way he behaves will be somehow different for you. Other will keep saying "yeah, he's nice" but you and him will know the difference 🙂

I still do not know how much intimacy should I have with mine. I know he wants me close, but he does not give me a clue of "how close"? I do not have a precise idea of the comfort level he has with me. I do not want to scare him away. I'm trying my best to move at his pace, but some Virgo men on this board keep telling they like the women take charge, so mine might be doing just the same.

You're welcome . .

He sounds really nice . . is he the Virgo, or you?

Virgo men are so hard to understand because they behave so fickle, sometimes. Push and pull, push and pull . . sometimes, you're just left standing there tyring to figure out what in the world they want . . most times, I think they're trying to figure out what they want too, lol

It seems to me that failure is the fear that keeps them so dis-contented with their love interest and for the life of me . . I dont' know why. Failure is how we learn. If you screw up something that is said, or done . . no big deal . . there's a learning curve with every new person . . everyone needs to be treated diffrently. But, for some reason, this terrifies them . . so, they just withdraw because they dont' know what to do.

Women have to take them by the horns and steer them . . gently, but, firmly . . otherwise, a lifetime could be spent waiting for them to figure out whether it's gonna work or not.

Silly creatures, sometimes.

He is the virg,I am Scorp.
I have known him for over a year and to be honest we did not like each other at first. He did not like my "candor" and his sarcastic ways made me nuts!!!! Not to mention his "self-professed" control issues.

He can come across harsh at work but I have learned it is his way of handling things and that he really only wants the best for his team.

However,when we talk on the phone he is my good friend and lets his guard down, which makes me "feel" close to him.

dys31, are you a subordinate of him at work, or you two are peers? Does he behave differently when people around and other times? Do you get to see each other outside? (My Virgo and I work at the same place too, and it has been complicating things for us so far).

P-Angel

You are so right on with the failure thing, my friend is only supportive of me and other co-workers. Telling us that this is how we learn....by failures. But I cant help but feel that he has some uncertainties within him self and for some reason this does not apply to him. He was recently made my direct supervisor (potentional for a messy relationship...maybe some fear there??)

I was thinking about taking a job somewhere else for better hours,he had just been promoted and asked me late one night if I could stay awhile longer at the present job because he thought it would help him get through the adjustment period for him. (I am his "go to person)

Really, to imagine a Virgo and Scorpio together just seems like the least likely pairing . . yet, they work . . I guess something is to be said about opposites.

With both of you ladies, I know it's hard with them because they aren't real clear on letting people know where they stand in a relationship . . but, what I do know, is once they face theirselves and their feelings . . they are incrediably wonderful men to have as a partner in life . . very kind, gentle and understanding.

I hope everything works out with your VirGuys 🙂

love4ever-

We started off as co-workers,have been becoming close friends for 5 months. He is,as of about 4 weeks ago become my direct supervisor.

He seems a bit harsher and irritated at me when I do something silly, when I make a mistake on my time card...or a "god forbid" spelling error on my paper work....but it does not bother me for some strange reason...I find it cute..is that bad??
Maybe you can shed some light on that for me. So to answer your question,yes he treats me different than the other women.

We tend to avoid each other when there are other people around,but I see him looking at me from across the room..🙂 I sometimes move so he cant see me and he moves again so he can...

When are alone in the office its either an awkward silence or he is playfully punching me.

No we have not seen each other outside of work, don't know if I am ready for that even if he wanted to.... and I figure if I am not ready...then he for sure is not.

At first we talked up to 7 times a day, text just as much. Then as we became more comfortable with one another they became less. Have to admit at first I thought...crap! But I began to read on this board and my anxieties are no longer there....I told him that I know where his boundaries are and that I both respect and support that.

You should talk to Dyr, he's a Virgo and his woman is Scorp . . maybe he can give you some insight.

Reading the signs isn't easy because they seem mixed . . there are some really nice and expressive Virgo men here, I'm sure they will be able to help . . dont' know where they are today . .

dys31:

"We tend to avoid each other when there are other people around,but I see him looking at me from across the room.. I sometimes move so he cant see me and he moves again so he can...

When are alone in the office its either an awkward silence or he is playfully punching me."

This is exactly what is happening with mine. We treat each other as complete strangers when in public, -you could swear that we do not know or do not like each other- or greet each other very formally when needed. (The strange thing is, with all other people, my behavior never changes, but with him, it's going different ways each time, like we get anxious of doing something wrong-. When alone, however, we are either very silent and ignoring or exchanging stupid jokes -just a way to avoid serious talk I guess-. Everytime I go away thinking "what was that all about"?.

love4ever-

I find the non-verbals fun at work. For us too its as if we dont even like one another.
However,on his way out he will tell me "talk to you soon" or "text me later". I just smile!! 🙂 Cause I know before he goes to bed he will call and we will be talking about what we plan to do the next day (in our own lives)how work went and sometimes watching movies together over the phone.

There have been many time he came in to work the evening shift and I was leaving the day shift....very little said then he seems to make it a point to be the person who walks me out to the front door to let me out.

It was funny, a few weeks ago I was leaning on a table and he walked over and it seemed like he did not see my hand....he put his hand on mine and said...oh sorry did not see yous there. I am thinking....hmmm right!!

dyr-

Sounds like you think this is a courtship that is going on?

There was a time I felt I needed to know what the heck was going on, but have become more and more comfortable with what there is. I told him I am following "his lead"..he said "I'll show you my lead" !!!

It was funny, last week I gave him a card thanking him for being a part of my "crazy life", we were alone but I swear you would have thought I just laid one on him, he acted all nervous trying to find a place to put it until he could read it...it was so cute! I told him I had it for two weeks in my purse and wanted him to have it personally rather than leave it in his mailbox that others have access too...after pacing around the office he throws it where— In his mailbox!! (He left it there for a few days...made ME NERVOUS it being left there..) When he threw it in his box I just laughed and then he began to playfully punch me in the arm about 4 times,,,,,and he call me "high maintenance"—? Late that night on the phone he thanked, very softly spoken.

lol

everything you all have said is EXACTLY what the virguy did to me..o_O very odd. why are you virgs all so similar in technique!!!! X_X

I've just looked up the word intimacy in "The Dy Book" with some help from Google, and see what I've found: (Dy, you should seriously consider writing -and publish before I hook up my Virgo- boy, he's so amazingly designed that I do not know how would I handle him without a user's manual).

http://www.duncanexpose.com/opinion/messages.asp?id=642765&sort=desc

Virgo men are so hard to understand because they behave so fickle, sometimes. Push and pull, push and pull . . sometimes, you're just left standing there tyring to figure out what in the world they want . . most times, I think they're trying to figure out what they want too, lol

It seems to me that failure is the fear that keeps them so dis-contented with their love interest and for the life of me . . I dont' know why. Failure is how we learn. If you screw up something that is said, or done . . no big deal . . there's a learning curve with every new person . . everyone needs to be treated diffrently. But, for some reason, this terrifies them . . so, they just withdraw because they dont' know what to do.


i admit. you got me right there, p-angel! lol

i often lie to myself. there's no escape when you lie to yourself because when you run away from something it runs your life unconsciously or subconsciously.

an example is that i told myself that i will never fall inlove again. that every guy i meet i will just play with them and take them all for granted and make them madly inlove with me, til my head burst coz of my ego.

but where am i now? married with someone i didn't realize i was marrying with. i earn more money than he does, we are completely different in so many ways not my ideal man. but where am i now, i fell inlove and i just ate everything that i said which is a lie and i see him as the most ideal man and the only man i will love in this lifetime.