When Virgo is betrayed... (Page 2)

Ya - looks real good,self plain falltery!

But actually, I was impressed too by the AND/OR logic and combo.

"COMPLETE HOGWASH! I don't buy it. Who wants to stay that begrudged with someone? Sorry not worth energy spent not being able to forgive someone."

Not forgiving someone is a sort of defencive mechanism and it has it's own use. If you belive that person has made a mistake and you can see the that this person has a room for growth, then why not forgive him/her? You would just spend that person for nothing. If that person has no room for growth then depending on the situation you can either kick that person or give it time or just accept it as it comes (depending on the situation). If a person did mistake but is not aware of it and is not likely to understand it, then you asses your losses and gains and act according to it. Nobody is expected to be perfect, and people are full with this imperfect people. We just need to understand that not just perfect people are useful but also these imperfect people are too. Shutting doors to them is like shutting doors to 75% of people you will meet.

What if a person always comes and takes advantage of you whenever it is posibbile. How could you not protect your ego?

Well I guess if you cease the relationship with this particular person who constantly tries to take advantage of you, then there will be left no more reason to "feel" the resentment unless you dont see that person. I guess having a resnetmental relationship towards someone and actually feel the resentment is two different things. Presense of that person causes you feel it while absense only provides the status of your relationship not a feeling anymore.

I guess this all is goes without saying, but there is never a harm in clarification of the situation.

Lady

Those are two different things. You can feel resentment in presense of someone, but when you use it against someone else whom you don't know well, then this is totally different subject. I never meant anything like that. What I wanted to say is that you may feel resentment in presense of someone but you can relase it when you don't experience the presense of this person anymore. And it stays only as a "resentmental status" with a person (not with everyone who is somwhow similair to that person) when he/she does not present near you anymore. No feeling here involved anymore.

But feeling resentment towards someone else who has more or less similair characters with person who you met before and being hurt by him/her is different.

I do agree though that feeling resentment towards someone else is wrong in this case. Nobody is guilty for something that others did to you. Everyone is responsible only for his/her OWN actions.

Well that would explain why this girl has been off and on with her affection towards me - sometimes I'm ignored by her and so I don't bother her and the next thing I know we'll be great friends again like nothing happened - lol - I find that I'm somewhat like that myself (I dunno if it's cause of my moon sign being Virgo or simply because I'm a Cap) esp. if someone does something I just can't agree with - I'll ignore them for awhile but I'll be analyzing the pros and cons of the situation (cause I've always believed it's harder to hate a person then to just forgive and forget - sometimes it just takes longer than others depending on what that person did) but almost always I just seem to forgive and forget - life goes on after all 🙂

Decan:

I waited for over 3 months before I saw anyone else and he had been seen with several different women just over 1-1/2 months after breaking up with me. The night that he saw me with someone else he went from serious flirting with me and had told me that I am still really cute (he didn't know I was with anyone, which I wasn't and I ended up kissing some guy) to totally ignoring me and leaving the place where we both hang out sometimes. Sometimes I think if I didn't kiss this other guy that there might of been some rekindling between him and I. A couple of people even asked me if we were getting back together and I told them no. I even saw him this last Friday and I was not with anyone but, I would not even look at him, I totally ignored him like he wasn't even there because when he walked in he looked at me with his eyes looking sad and I didn't want to see that. I have been trying so hard to get over him and if I keep looking at him it makes it so hard. I saw him watching me from the corner of my eye all night until I left. He even kept coming over and talking with people that we both know that were sitting right by me but I would not look his way. I don't know how else to deal with the breakup. I have tried so hard to figure out why he would in the first place, to desperately wanting him back, to trying to be with someone else (only kissed, no sex), to trying to be just friendly and now to ignoring him. I can't figure him out and I will never put my heart out there for anyone else unless they express it first.

Damn.......How long is a women supposed to wait for a Virgo Male to figure out what the heck he wants.....huhhhh

Decan:

I can't figure out what he is thinking at all. He shut me out and yes, I can be stubborn and say, fine. When he broke up with me I tried to talk to him and he told me that he wanted to be left alone so I did for a little while and tried to break the ice with him and talked to him and he told me he didn't want to date anyone right now. (This is after being in a relationship with me for months) I felt like I was being dumped like a one night stand and that hurt. I even recently inviting him to go bowling or dinner something (as a friend) and no response. So, when I saw him out this past weekend I just felt like I was wasting my time giving a sh*t and so I need to let my heart heal completely and the only way I can do that is by not looking at him or talking with him (right now) maybe later when or if I have no feelings for him. He told me I was too good for him, before and that he was afraid I would hurt him so, I think he decided to hurt me first and he did. We never even fought. Sometimes I just want to tell him how much of an idiot he is for letting me go. I have never told him that I loved him but I did tell him that I think about him all the time. I feel like I was made a fool of and I don't handle that well. I am not flighty and I am very loyal and honest. I just think he had some bad experiences in the recent past that scared him and I wasn't like anyone else he dated. I actually have a good job, own my own home, and I am very family oriented. I have never cheated and never will because I believe that is so unbelievably wrong and should not be forgiven for. Maybe I missed something.....hummmmm....maybe he cheated on me and he knows how I feel about that, wow, that would explain alot.........I guess I can't assume and I'm sure not going to ask because I wouldn't want to know now because we are over with. Sorry, just thinking out loud. I never even thought of that senario until now. Ok, done now

Well, from my experiences of grudges, I get over them suprisingly fast. Whenever I've been betrayed or am upset with someone, the longest I've ever been upset was a week. My anger usually just disappears.

Well, I am a Virgo male, and have been this way for 17 years, but I do weild a wisdom most find essential. I unfortunately in life have been scorned, and betrayed, and I also have been known to be more painful when striking back then a scorpio. For example with my father, (scorpio) I shut him out, and look at him intensely, and I feel all this fire welling up inside me...I begin to plot all the 'perfect' ways I can get him back, until I have him quiver in fear, and shame...he usually is the first to apologize, not becuase I am childish, but becuase he needs to know that I wish to be the child at times and know he can handle the harsher realities of life.

Sorry, so long, Ok, it has been almost 5 months since Virguy has broken up with me. I talked with him a few weeks back and he told me he stopped it because he was scared. I asked him so, does that mean when you finally break it off with a women that the relationship is over for good. He said "YES" !!! I took that as there was no chance in hell of ever getting back with him. It was giving me my internal way to move on. I have tried to move on for a while now by trying to date and keeping busy with other things. I did a stupid thing and had sex with a guy that is 11 years younger than me because I saw Virguy with another women and it just felt like I was being stabbed in the heart all over again. (That's when I realized I wasn't over him) So, a guy that I know, I ended up sleeping with him because I was so hurt about Virguy and it felt so offical for real when I saw him with this girl. Well, last night I went to a different bar with a female friend just to get away from the normal seen and who shows up, well Virguy. To make a long story short. We had some heated words and then somehow we ended up having sex in a field and was handcuffed by the police for indecent exposure. That was one of the best times I have had but, with really bad consequences because someone saw us and called 911. He ended up staying the night. He also told me that he has not had sex with anyone else since we had started dating a while back. I'm so confused. He kissed me and one thing led to another and it was so passionate and spontaneous. I did not expect him to ever kiss me or be with him again even thought I hoped it would happen. I feel so guilty now for sleeping with someoen else. He hasn't asked me and if he did I wouldn't lie to him but I need away to tell him if he ask without being brutly honest because I dont' won't to hurt him anymore than I probably already have. I'm not even sure if it is going anywhere or if it was something that just happened. I asked him "now what does this mean" he said he didn't know because he is scared and I told him I am scared too. Will he forgive me for sleeping with someone else even though we have been broken up with for so long?

Depends... betrayed how?

I would never do anything mean, or hateful to a girlfriend. But if one did it to me, it would likely end the relationship forever. We may end up on a friendly level, but the relationship would be gone forever.

It never bothered me if a girlfriend had other lovers... I am not the jealous type, and don't know if other Virgos are or not. As a matter of fact, going against conventional wisdom, I always enjoyed hearing about a girlfriends previous boyfriends, husbands, etc... always thought I could learn something that way... what to do, what not to do.

If you think it might bug him... DON"T tell him. IT's none of his business after all.

Ask him what he's scared of.... GOD?

He is scared of getting hurt. He had only two serious relationships before (which both ended very badly) and he was getting serious with me then he shut me out and broke up with me. It took me months to finally realize that we were not going to be together and I finally started to move on. Well, he said he hasn't slept with anyone else besides me since last October. I have now and now I feel so guilty because of it. I never expected to get back together with him even though I felt that he felt something too everytime I would look at him. He will probably find out about it because he knows the guy but, do I tell him before he ask me or before this other guy tells him or should I just leave it alone because we were not dating at the time. I just don't want to go backwards again. If he does ask me I won't lie to him. He had told me the other night again "that I was too good for him" over and over again. He also said he didn't know how to handle being in a relationship with me because I am so different than anyone he has dated. I'm stable financial and usually emotionally except when it comes to him. I just want him to know that I want him and need him in my life because he makes me feel whole. The question is: Will he feel betrayed if he knows I slept with someone else while we were broken up for 5 months?

febpisces27 what are you fucking talking about you stupid bitch i told my gf straight out id never go back to you if you betray me even tho she would give me a chance again but i will never i refuse ill rather then "forgive and forget" i wont forgive you and i have a memory like an elephant so stfu bitch 🙂