@Boots1313
8 Years1,000+ Posts
Taurus bf and i jave jist been on different pages lately
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Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsI wouldn’t read too much into it. Try to show each other some kindness, do little things for one another.
We both are very kind to eachother.
We are bOth constantly doing nice things for one another. When we are together there is little issues. Easier to read body language, tone etc...
Just over the phone conversations it always seems to be off 🤷♀️
Maybe i just need to bite my tongue and stop with my rematks for a bit until things balance out.
Posted by SlamminVPosted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsI wouldn’t read too much into it. Try to show each other some kindness, do little things for one another.
Every time you get up, cup of coffee, back rub and some hot sex.
Every time you go to bed, rinse / repeat.
Come home from work, grab from behind, kisses to the neck and more coffee.
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Lmao, are you secretly recording us?
We already do all this...we have a pour over coffee maker we ate obsessed with hahaha
He called me back 5 minutes ago and said "remember the sex??"
Me: "last nights?"
Him: "yeaaaa, was just thinking about it. Gotta go driving"
I know thats good, but it still feels off lol.
Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsPosted by Boots1313Posted by AnotherTaurusGuyReturnsI wouldn’t read too much into it. Try to show each other some kindness, do little things for one another.
We both are very kind to eachother.
We are bOth constantly doing nice things for one another. When we are together there is little issues. Easier to read body language, tone etc...
Just over the phone conversations it always seems to be off 🤷♀️
Maybe i just need to bite my tongue and stop with my rematks for a bit until things balance out.
Yeah, maybe lay off the phone conversations a bit temporarily and be together in person more then there is less chance of miscommunication.
click to expand
Ive mever been good with the telephone.
He loves to call all the tome however.
And talk for minimum, 30 minutes
hmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
Posted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
Posted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
Hmmm interesting perspective.
There are a few things i might be subconsciously upset about with him.
But there isnt good reason to be upset.
A) i want a ring (more of a committment)
B) want to live with him.
Im impatient, but im trying to curb that because i know it isnt the right timing for that. That isnt on him, more me.
On a whole different theme, im miserable at work and perhaps that is coming out in my day to day interactions.
Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
click to expand
Idk, fine i assume...
He's been working 7 days a week.
That could be it also
Posted by Boots1313Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
Idk, fine i assume...
He's been working 7 days a week.
That could be it also
click to expand
So he's stressed.
Have you been making a lot of "jokes" about making the bed? Do laundry? dishes? Other household chores? etc?
Posted by MissKrabsPosted by RedbullPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
This right here haha you seem pretty sharp and your a Taurus I think you know this could come off as prodding at the bull. And you know how our tempers can be in such situations. So that could immediately kind of shift things. Especially when someone is thinking they are going to work and have to do all that but what they dont do elsewhere or arent doing...and not that that makes you wrong that kind of thing or statement can happen. I dont necessarily have answers per se beyond just seeing that stand out.
Srsly, comment like this can really trigger a person? 😨 i mean they were joking. Not talking about nagging.
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Exctaly, completely a harmless joke. I only stay there 3xs a week.
I know he makes his bed! 🤷♀️
Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
Idk, fine i assume...
He's been working 7 days a week.
That could be it also
So he's stressed.
Have you been making a lot of "jokes" about making the bed? Do laundry? dishes? Other household chores? etc?
click to expand
Not about chores.
I always remark with sort of backhanded jokes or sarcasm.
Its just me, and ots how i always uavw been throughout the whole almost 2 years we have known eachother.
Our ability to banter was on of the things i loved.
It goes both ways. He makes jokes and i take it out of context at times too.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
Hmmm interesting perspective.
There are a few things i might be subconsciously upset about with him.
But there isnt good reason to be upset.
A) i want a ring (more of a committment)
B) want to live with him.
Im impatient, but im trying to curb that because i know it isnt the right timing for that. That isnt on him, more me.
On a whole different theme, im miserable at work and perhaps that is coming out in my day to day interactions.
click to expand
i read resentment in there. passive aggression definitely. maybe a little feeling of being unappreciated or taken for granted? insecurity?
i don't know what it is. only you can figure it out. something is bothering you boots. have a think about it and try to work through it.
i do know this. it's not a good sign if you keep going
Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
Hmmm interesting perspective.
There are a few things i might be subconsciously upset about with him.
But there isnt good reason to be upset.
A) i want a ring (more of a committment)
B) want to live with him.
Im impatient, but im trying to curb that because i know it isnt the right timing for that. That isnt on him, more me.
On a whole different theme, im miserable at work and perhaps that is coming out in my day to day interactions.
i read resentment in there. passive aggression definitely. maybe a little feeling of being unappreciated or taken for granted? insecurity?
i don't know what it is. only you can figure it out. something is bothering you boots. have a think about it and try to work through it.
i do know this. it's not a good sign if you keep going
class="bqfade">click to expand
Tbh probably all of the above.
Im working on all those things.
Its a process.
Posted by RedbullPosted by Boots1313Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
Idk, fine i assume...
He's been working 7 days a week.
That could be it also
Haha yeah, see. I just kind of looked at it from my perspective. lol at working 7 days. He does not, I repeat not want to hear about what he's not doing and he's getting up and working 7 days and going through that making those sacrifices. I find this funny I think Taurus women are awesome and think there could be a lot of compatibility but I can see a Taurus woman saying something like that anybody could really but its just a kind of funny visual picture.
click to expand
My point being is we joke like that.
We always have.
Idk why suddendly my words wound him and sting?
Ill lay off thoug with the "jokes", because obviously I dont want to wound him or hurt him.
Posted by RedbullPosted by Boots1313Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
Idk, fine i assume...
He's been working 7 days a week.
That could be it also
Haha yeah, see. I just kind of looked at it from my perspective. lol at working 7 days. He does not, I repeat not want to hear about what he's not doing and he's getting up and working 7 days and going through that making those sacrifices. I find this funny I think Taurus women are awesome and think there could be a lot of compatibility but I can see a Taurus woman saying something like that anybody could really but its just a kind of funny visual picture.
click to expand
sorry boots, you started this.
"Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*""
Posted by jeanePosted by RedbullPosted by Boots1313Posted by _DazedPosted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
Something is bothering him.
How have things been with him and his mom lately?
Idk, fine i assume...
He's been working 7 days a week.
That could be it also
Haha yeah, see. I just kind of looked at it from my perspective. lol at working 7 days. He does not, I repeat not want to hear about what he's not doing and he's getting up and working 7 days and going through that making those sacrifices. I find this funny I think Taurus women are awesome and think there could be a lot of compatibility but I can see a Taurus woman saying something like that anybody could really but its just a kind of funny visual picture.
sorry boots, you started this.
"Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*""
https://media1.giphy.com/media/pMzvS6SUWOdC8/giphy.gif
Lol i guess you are right.
I didn't mean it but it certainly can come off as criticizing and defensive.
I need to keep my words in check.
I get anxious over the phone and constantly say the wrong thing. I don't like silences on a phone call.
Posted by ImpulsvMaybe his mother is a nag and big he’s sensitive to it
No, she isn't a nag. she let him do whatever he wanted when he was growing up.
I dont nag him. This is just one example and ot happens to do with the bed.
All the other examples elude me at this time, but i know we have had a lot of recent miscommunications and like blank stares during discussions after a seemingly harmless "joke" or "banter"
Posted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
click to expand
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
click to expand
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Women nag on their men, that's just nature 🙂 We need that too, kind of
Posted by ImpulsvHe’s trying to assert alpha in the relationship?
🤷♀️ he already is for the most part.
Its like 60/40...
I think it's me and my reactions. I have to figure out why though
Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
click to expand
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
If you had the opportunity to ask him about me, i know he would priase me and say hes happy, and if you brought up this thread he would laugh it off and say...that? Thats nothing. No big deal"
click to expand
Posted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
click to expand
Oh then wait till you actually live together haha. I go through that stuff with my Libra too, often one of us will intervene on time and ask what the real reason is for the snide remarks, then we try to find a compromise, but sometimes it is not easy. Spending a lot of time together when you have been in a relationship for years brings all kinds of unexpected emotional confrontations, mostly with oneself, due to behaviours by the partner that trigger certain "wounds" that one brings from childhood, which now get a new chance to be healed, through your partner.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
click to expand
you're getting closer to it.
do you think you are in a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy here?
do you think that perhaps you are creating hostile environment while at the same time, totally terrified that you are fucking this all up?
things are going well so to me it sounds you are taking little pot shots at him (possibly as a way to test his commitment), leading to awkward moments which only add to your anxiety that things are going shit and so you desperately try to put it on track but then you worry that if it's too good, he might blindside you and go anyway?
and that a ring means he is not going anywhere? if the relationship is good or the relationship is bad, he's not going to leave?
Posted by Boots1313Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
If you had the opportunity to ask him about me, i know he would priase me and say hes happy, and if you brought up this thread he would laugh it off and say...that? Thats nothing. No big deal"
click to expand
That question is classic textbook and totally normal in a relationship after a while, just try not taking it too seriously
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
Oh then wait till you actually live together haha. I go through that stuff with my Libra too, often one of us will intervene on time and ask what the real reason is for the snide remarks, then we try to find a compromise, but sometimes it is not easy. Spending a lot of time together when you have been in a relationship for years brings all kinds of unexpected emotional confrontations, mostly with oneself, due to behaviours by the partner that trigger certain "wounds" that one brings from childhood, which now get a new chance to be healed, through your partner.
click to expand
Thank you. This makes me feel better.
I was starting to feel like rubbish and my relationship was doomed.
Living together exacerbates everything a thousand times
😬😳
Lol
How often to do forget to make the bed?
Posted by MyStarsShineLiving together exacerbates everything a thousand times
😬😳
Lol
THIS
The good and the bad
Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
you're getting closer to it.
do you think you are in a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy here?
do you think that perhaps you are creating hostile environment while at the same time, totally terrified that you are fucking this all up?
things are going well so to me it sounds you are taking little pot shots at him (possibly as a way to test his commitment), leading to awkward moments which only add to your anxiety that things are going shit and so you desperately try to put it on track but then you worry that if it's too good, he might blindside you and go anyway?
and that a ring means he is not going anywhere? if the relationship is good or the relationship is bad, he's not going to leave?
click to expand
You scare me....
😳 👏👏👏👏👏
Yup. That ^
How do you know all these thingssss?!?!
Sometimes intent gets lost over the phone cause you can't pick up on non verbal cues. He most likely wouldn't have been offended if you had said it in person.
Posted by SlamminVEvery time you get up, cup of coffee, back rub and some hot sex.
Sounds like a recipe for the runs while balls deep
Posted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
Oh then wait till you actually live together haha. I go through that stuff with my Libra too, often one of us will intervene on time and ask what the real reason is for the snide remarks, then we try to find a compromise, but sometimes it is not easy. Spending a lot of time together when you have been in a relationship for years brings all kinds of unexpected emotional confrontations, mostly with oneself, due to behaviours by the partner that trigger certain "wounds" that one brings from childhood, which now get a new chance to be healed, through your partner.
Thank you. This makes me feel better.
I was starting to feel like rubbish and my relationship was doomed.
click to expand
I know what you mean. It gets easier to deal with as time goes by, and it helps a lot if at least one of you can get back to being reasonable relatively quickly so you both don't end up with bullshit like silent treatments, etc in my case that's usually Libra lol
Posted by _DazedHow often to do forget to make the bed?
This was the 2nd time in the last 6 months or so.
I didn't wanna disturb the cat.
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by MyStarsShineLiving together exacerbates everything a thousand times
😬😳
Lol
THIS
The good and the bad
click to expand
Nightmare......did it three times just to make sure lol
😬
Posted by LadyNeptuneSometimes intent gets lost over the phone cause you can't pick up on non verbal cues. He most likely wouldn't have been offended if you had said it in person.
A lot gets lost in translatation over the phone.
Im weird on it.
Im partially deaf, i can't always hear him, or make out what he is saying. which frustrates me.
Then he loses service alot while commuting, so there is a lot of "what did you say?!" and long silences. Then i have to fill the air with rambling and sarcasm and "jokes"...
And thats how we get to here.
But apparently there is more going on within me.
So i have to look into that and assess that now.
I think also most of us get sometimes too caught up in the idea (thanks to internet mostly) that a relationship should always be fun and happy and perfect, otherwise there's something wrong with you or your partner... and this only brings anxiety in people, all these unrealistic expectations about love and relationships.
Well, relationships are HARD work, but totally worth it IMO
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomI think also most of us get sometimes too caught up in the idea (thanks to internet mostly) that a relationship should always be fun and happy and perfect, otherwise there's something wrong with you or your partner... and this only brings anxiety in people, all these unrealistic expectations about love and relationships.
Well, relationships are HARD work, but totally worth it IMO
Thanks for the reality check.
I need it on ocassion to calm my mind.
Posted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomI think also most of us get sometimes too caught up in the idea (thanks to internet mostly) that a relationship should always be fun and happy and perfect, otherwise there's something wrong with you or your partner... and this only brings anxiety in people, all these unrealistic expectations about love and relationships.
Well, relationships are HARD work, but totally worth it IMO
Thanks for the reality check.
I need it on ocassion to calm my mind.
click to expand
Glad to be of help. Someone calmed my Virgo mind too today so Im glad I was able to return the favour, Karma and all that.
Going for a walk with doggo now, take care
Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomI think also most of us get sometimes too caught up in the idea (thanks to internet mostly) that a relationship should always be fun and happy and perfect, otherwise there's something wrong with you or your partner... and this only brings anxiety in people, all these unrealistic expectations about love and relationships.
Well, relationships are HARD work, but totally worth it IMO
Thanks for the reality check.
I need it on ocassion to calm my mind.
Glad to be of help. Someone calmed my Virgo mind too today so Im glad I was able to return the favour, Karma and all that.
Going for a walk with doggo now, take care
click to expand
I hear ya, virgo moon here.
Enjoy the walk, always my therapy 🙂
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
you're getting closer to it.
do you think you are in a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy here?
do you think that perhaps you are creating hostile environment while at the same time, totally terrified that you are fucking this all up?
things are going well so to me it sounds you are taking little pot shots at him (possibly as a way to test his commitment), leading to awkward moments which only add to your anxiety that things are going shit and so you desperately try to put it on track but then you worry that if it's too good, he might blindside you and go anyway?
and that a ring means he is not going anywhere? if the relationship is good or the relationship is bad, he's not going to leave?
You scare me....
😳 👏👏👏👏👏
Yup. That ^
How do you know all these thingssss?!?!
click to expand
just listening to what you are saying.
"what does he see in me"
"i get anxiety when it's quiet"
"he's very independent"
"i've been left"
"i want more of a commitment"
Posted by Boots1313This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.
That sometimes happens with us also. Things get completely lost in translation. Usually I alter the conversation, mid conversation if I can and just keep it simple otherwise it can feel really off. When I get off the phone I just try not to get into my head and just assume he may not have been in the right frame of mind then try again when we speak next. It doesn’t always work but more importantly I try not to overthink it.
Posted by Phantom_LimboPosted by LadyNeptunePosted by SlamminVEvery time you get up, cup of coffee, back rub and some hot sex.
Sounds like a recipe for the runs while balls deep
What a lovely mental image.
click to expand
Yw
Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
you're getting closer to it.
do you think you are in a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy here?
do you think that perhaps you are creating hostile environment while at the same time, totally terrified that you are fucking this all up?
things are going well so to me it sounds you are taking little pot shots at him (possibly as a way to test his commitment), leading to awkward moments which only add to your anxiety that things are going shit and so you desperately try to put it on track but then you worry that if it's too good, he might blindside you and go anyway?
and that a ring means he is not going anywhere? if the relationship is good or the relationship is bad, he's not going to leave?
You scare me....
😳 👏👏👏👏👏
Yup. That ^
How do you know all these thingssss?!?!
just listening to what you are saying.
"i get anxiety when it's quiet"
"he's very independent"
"i've been left"
"i want more of a commitment"
click to expand
Can I pay you sheckles for therapy?
Posted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
you're getting closer to it.
do you think you are in a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy here?
do you think that perhaps you are creating hostile environment while at the same time, totally terrified that you are fucking this all up?
things are going well so to me it sounds you are taking little pot shots at him (possibly as a way to test his commitment), leading to awkward moments which only add to your anxiety that things are going shit and so you desperately try to put it on track but then you worry that if it's too good, he might blindside you and go anyway?
and that a ring means he is not going anywhere? if the relationship is good or the relationship is bad, he's not going to leave?
You scare me....
😳 👏👏👏👏👏
Yup. That ^
How do you know all these thingssss?!?!
just listening to what you are saying.
"i get anxiety when it's quiet"
"he's very independent"
"i've been left"
"i want more of a commitment"
Can I pay you sheckles for therapy?click to expand
you can pay me by stopping this shit
this is what we know
a) he's a good guy. you've even said he is the best guy you've ever met
b) you love him
c) he loves you
d) he's not your ex-boyfriend
e) you've been through a lot together. there's a history there
f) he talks about the kids you are going to have
g) he is committed to you - refer to c
h) he's your best friend
i) you're amazing. you bring a lot to the table. you do so much for him that you can't even begin to imagine or realise.
j) you're stronger than you think. you thought you were broken before but you weren't and you're not. refer to c again.
k) you love a person who loves you. do you know how hard that is to find? need a reminder? read the threads here. people are desperately chasing for something you already have. treasure it. be happy. the next time you see him, hug him tight. be happy. he's with you. you found him. what an amazing future you can have together. stop stressing out over the stuff that doesn't matter.
Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by jeanePosted by Boots1313Posted by BoomShakalakaBoomPosted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
THIS
There's often, if not always underlying anger about something completely unrelated, something he did or a trait of his that is working on your nerves, which becomes impossible to ignore seeing as you live together. This is just how it comes out, bit by bit until there's a big blow up. Unless you dig deep and come clean about it?
We dont live together, but we see eachother 5xs a week. With 2 to 3 nights of sleepovers.
I really dont know what bothers me about him though?!
He actually always keeps his apartment clean. He just brought a new vacuum and is obsessed with it. Hes very independent.
The one thing he asked of me was whwn i leave in the morning (2 hrs after him) if i could make the bed. Which isn't an issue.
do you worry you're not good enough? that he will eventually see through you?
Lately I have been thinking
"what does he see in me"
I havent expressed that to him.
And I have no real reason to think that way or be insecure.
He is still affectionate, and we still talk and are intimate.
Im still dealing with past relationship baggage.and the fact ive been left when i thought everything was going good.
you're getting closer to it.
do you think you are in a bit of a self fulfilling prophesy here?
do you think that perhaps you are creating hostile environment while at the same time, totally terrified that you are fucking this all up?
things are going well so to me it sounds you are taking little pot shots at him (possibly as a way to test his commitment), leading to awkward moments which only add to your anxiety that things are going shit and so you desperately try to put it on track but then you worry that if it's too good, he might blindside you and go anyway?
and that a ring means he is not going anywhere? if the relationship is good or the relationship is bad, he's not going to leave?
You scare me....
😳 👏👏👏👏👏
Yup. That ^
How do you know all these thingssss?!?!
just listening to what you are saying.
"i get anxiety when it's quiet"
"he's very independent"
"i've been left"
"i want more of a commitment"
Can I pay you sheckles for therapy?
you can pay me by stopping this shit
this is what we know
a) he's a good guy. you've even said he is the best guy you've ever met
b) you love him
c) he loves you
d) he's not your ex-boyfriend
e) you've been through a lot together. there's a history there
f) he talks about the kids you are going to have
g) he is committed to you - refer to c
h) he's your best friend
i) you're amazing. you bring a lot to the table. you do so much for him that you can't even begin to imagine or realise.
j) you're stronger than you think. you thought you were broken before but you weren't and you're not. refer to c again.
k) you love a person who loves you. do you know how hard that is to find? need a reminder? read the threads here. people are desperately chasing for something you already have. treasure it. be happy. the next time you see him, hug him tight. be happy. he's with you. you found him. what an amazing future you can have together. stop stressing out over the stuff that doesn't matter.
click to expand
Ok I will!
Thank you for everything.
Im seeing him tonight im going to spoil him rotten 😍😎
something is wrong, maybe not related to you, but something is wrong.
you should just ask him hows it going? open the lines of communication
Posted by jeanehmm, what are you really upset about?
you're not fighting over the bed. something has upset you and even though you thought you let it go, you haven't. what is it?
Yes, this.
When I read the first post just now I thought 'so what is the REAL problem—'
I shall read on...
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This thread is half a vent and half looking advice.
My bull and i have lately been on two separate pages.
We use to joke around a lot and make little funny remarks at eachother but lately they have seemed to be going over eachother heads. Or one of us gets offended or sidnt get the "humor" in it.
We are very quick to sort of jump down eachothers thoat, out of something that started as nothing.
Ie: he called me on his way home from work.
We got into a converstaion about how i was on a rish this morning and i said "btw, i forgot ro makw the bes this morning. But i have good reasons!"
Him: "oh babe thats fine, i dont expect you to makw it everyday"
Me: "i know, if it wasnt dor me it wouldnt ever get made...*giggle*"
Him: "I made my bed for years before you came into my life"
Me: "i was just playing babe"
Him: "youre bad at playing " in a totally serious voice.
This has been happening quite a lot.
Not sure if it's just the general nature of a relationship when you start spending more time together. Or if our communication is just off?
Im making me feel a little concernes tho, if we arent on the same page.