does a hurt/offended Cancer man expect more than one apology?

or more than one try in showing genuine care?

we used to be very close and then we got into a stupid misunderstanding and i cut him loose. not totally fair to him.

after i apologized i asked if we can talk. he said sure, as soon as he has the time, he's been out of town but all in all its been almost 2 mths. we all know the idea of making time for important things. so my guess is he's not ready or not interested at all!

i find it hard to believe he lied about talking.

do cancer men just ghost you!?

Posted by jukey

It has to come from an honest place where you describe your feelings about the encounter and acknowledge why it hurt him. With that, give them time to process all this. They don't easily forget something that hit them hard and he'll associate you with this misunderstanding and how it made him feel, whether or not it seemed trivial to you. So, don't be surprised if he lowered you down a notch in his priority list if he doesn't want to revisit those feelings right away. Unless, you find a way to gradually redeem yourself with a more positive association in his mind.

Thanks, Jukey!

I did honestly apologize and also explained my feelings on the matter. truth is we hurt each other.

I reached out few times, reminding that i am still interested in talking, reached out just saying hi, but not for the past 4 wks. i thought he would want his space.

we used to be telepathically in tune with each other, it was freaky how much we read each other's minds.

I am ready to move on, but I'm not sure if its too soon (hehe, for a Cancer!) the whole thing was too special to "jump the gun".

I am caught in between giving him space and giving up. If he just needs time, i am willing to wait it out. But at the same time if for a Cancer man the hurt is too much, then I can make my peace as well.

Posted by Arielle83

Why should he give you time when you cut him loose?

Sounds like it’s all on your terms and he’s showing you it isn’t.

okay, makes sense.

so what i'm trying to figure out is: him saying we can talk about it is for real or not?

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Rising

Posted by Arielle83

Why should he give you time when you cut him loose?

Sounds like it’s all on your terms and he’s showing you it isn’t.

okay, makes sense.

so what i'm trying to figure out is: him saying we can talk about it is for real or not?

Ya but it’s not his priority.

Cancers don’t let ppl control them.

You cut him loose, so he probably doesn’t care if you exist or not.

We don’t keep ppl around who don’t see our value.

click to expand

okay, txs for the honesty.

i do get the concept, my moon is cancer, so is my rising.

like i said we hurt each other. but life goes on, right!

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

yeah, it is a bit of long story, i will sum it up. he showed interest about 2 yrs ago. i wasnt sure about it then. last december i decided to give it a try. me and him have been going out since december till april, dinner dates, drives, almost every weekend and sometimes during the week also, holding hands. but we never got more intimate than that. i never wanted to push him in any direction so i was going at his pace. but his conersation over text was much more intimate. we got close emotionally, he was very loving and called me his darling, and that he will be there for me no matter what. he insisted to meet my family, brought gifts. it was all going as in dating. so in april i finally asked him where are we, never been intimate, even though many times after him droping me off, he would text telling me he wished he was with me (!?) after i asked what was going on he told me that he feels more than friend, but he is confused, and he didnt want to duck up our relationship but he needs to work on himself.

even though i could have handled it better, it felt very insulting to me. so after talking for a bit and him going on and on how wonderful i am but he respects me too much to be intimate(—!) and that he needs to work on himself, and he sees me as a very good friend.

few days later, i approached him and i wanted to let him know that i actually do appreciate everything he did(and i did make sure i expressed my appreciation before as well) and i told him that i consider him a friend as well (we've supported each other thru few things) and that I really wanted to talk in person

he agreed and told me he was going out of town for a week or so and when he gets back we can meet.

during his time away i texted him wishing him a good time and he replied.

then he returned (we work together) we ran into each other at work, he told him how tired he was. i texted him again that i understand he is tired and that whenever he is ready i still look forward to talking - he said for sure.

two weeks later i texted him again and told him ive been sad and missed him and i'd like to talk and make things right.

he told me again that once he has some time we can talk.

i reached out 3 times.

now i get it if he'd rather not deal with it. but i also sense that mayyybe he wants me to try harder. it's difficult to know if it would bother him or not.

Posted by Alchemical_Virgo

The crab is a master of ghosting 😄 but pretty much what the others said, I've been there too, and has been years, the memory of him still haunts me bc we were best friends, but he just associates me with something bad and doesn't want a contact. I still need to hear his side of the story which he never said, and i need it for closure, he did not give me that either. just left me hanging with my arm reaching for him.

thanks for the "encouragement" 😛 it actually helps knowing others have been thru it as well. i gave up on having closure, him not talking, in spite of me reaching out, will have to do for now.

my Venus is in Virgo, and yeah i need closure, lol

one interesting thing though, me and him were very in tune, i mean telepathically, 6th sense kinda thing, and i've been having dreams about him, specifically last one, in which he was sad and was asking me why i stopped talking to him??

my moon is in Cancer, so is my rising and i do get the sensitivity part, but it's just so sad that you never got to hear his part of the story 😢

Posted by TripleC

Two months is a long time. I stopped talking to my old friend and when I saw him once and he suggested that I text him sometime, I just said okay. I never intended to talk again, though.

it is a long time. i reached out 3 times asking if we can meet, and each time he said sure when he gets the time. after that i thought i'd just give him space. and it is what it is.

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

yeah, it is a bit of long story, i will sum it up. he showed interest about 2 yrs ago. i wasnt sure about it then. last december i decided to give it a try. me and him have been going out since december till april, dinner dates, drives, almost every weekend and sometimes during the week also, holding hands. but we never got more intimate than that. i never wanted to push him in any direction so i was going at his pace. but his conersation over text was much more intimate. we got close emotionally, he was very loving and called me his darling, and that he will be there for me no matter what. he insisted to meet my family, brought gifts. it was all going as in dating. so in april i finally asked him where are we, never been intimate, even though many times after him droping me off, he would text telling me he wished he was with me (!?) after i asked what was going on he told me that he feels more than friend, but he is confused, and he didnt want to duck up our relationship but he needs to work on himself.

even though i could have handled it better, it felt very insulting to me. so after talking for a bit and him going on and on how wonderful i am but he respects me too much to be intimate(—!) and that he needs to work on himself, and he sees me as a very good friend.

few days later, i approached him and i wanted to let him know that i actually do appreciate everything he did(and i did make sure i expressed my appreciation before as well) and i told him that i consider him a friend as well (we've supported each other thru few things) and that I really wanted to talk in person

he agreed and told me he was going out of town for a week or so and when he gets back we can meet.

during his time away i texted him wishing him a good time and he replied.

then he returned (we work together) we ran into each other at work, he told him how tired he was. i texted him again that i understand he is tired and that whenever he is ready i still look forward to talking - he said for sure.

two weeks later i texted him again and told him ive been sad and missed him and i'd like to talk and make things right.

he told me again that once he has some time we can talk.

i reached out 3 times.

now i get it if he'd rather not deal with it. but i also sense that mayyybe he wants me to try harder. it's difficult to know if it would bother him or not.

click to expand

So....it seems like you expected things to go to the next level but became disappointed when it didn't. Understandable. He mentioned being confused and working on himself and not being ready for intimacy. These phrases were telling. You didn't accept the meaning. It can be frustrating desiring and loving someone who's just not ready to be what you need them to be. At this point, there isn't much to do, but move forward. You've made at least 3 attempts to talk it out. He's rejected those invitations. Don't force something that has clearly been rejected. In time you'll heal from the disappointment. It sucks but it's the way life goes at times.

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

and from the last time i texted him about meeting, and him saying once he gets the time we can meet, i saw him at work - i stoppped by his desk on purpose and we chatted. ( i didn't allow 2 mths tovgo by, i did reach out somehow) he even paid me a compliment - work related. i know on one hand he blames himself also, so i'm not sure if i should "push" to get closer and talk, or he just does not want to!

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

yeah, it is a bit of long story, i will sum it up. he showed interest about 2 yrs ago. i wasnt sure about it then. last december i decided to give it a try. me and him have been going out since december till april, dinner dates, drives, almost every weekend and sometimes during the week also, holding hands. but we never got more intimate than that. i never wanted to push him in any direction so i was going at his pace. but his conersation over text was much more intimate. we got close emotionally, he was very loving and called me his darling, and that he will be there for me no matter what. he insisted to meet my family, brought gifts. it was all going as in dating. so in april i finally asked him where are we, never been intimate, even though many times after him droping me off, he would text telling me he wished he was with me (!?) after i asked what was going on he told me that he feels more than friend, but he is confused, and he didnt want to duck up our relationship but he needs to work on himself.

even though i could have handled it better, it felt very insulting to me. so after talking for a bit and him going on and on how wonderful i am but he respects me too much to be intimate(—!) and that he needs to work on himself, and he sees me as a very good friend.

few days later, i approached him and i wanted to let him know that i actually do appreciate everything he did(and i did make sure i expressed my appreciation before as well) and i told him that i consider him a friend as well (we've supported each other thru few things) and that I really wanted to talk in person

he agreed and told me he was going out of town for a week or so and when he gets back we can meet.

during his time away i texted him wishing him a good time and he replied.

then he returned (we work together) we ran into each other at work, he told him how tired he was. i texted him again that i understand he is tired and that whenever he is ready i still look forward to talking - he said for sure.

two weeks later i texted him again and told him ive been sad and missed him and i'd like to talk and make things right.

he told me again that once he has some time we can talk.

i reached out 3 times.

now i get it if he'd rather not deal with it. but i also sense that mayyybe he wants me to try harder. it's difficult to know if it would bother him or not.

So....it seems like you expected things to go to the next level but became disappointed when it didn't. Understandable. He mentioned being confused and working on himself and not being ready for intimacy. These phrases were telling. You didn't accept the meaning. It can be frustrating desiring and loving someone who's just not ready to be what you need them to be. At this point, there isn't much to do, but move forward. You've made at least 3 attempts to talk it out. He's rejected those invitations. Don't force something that has clearly been rejected. In time you'll heal from the disappointment. It sucks but it's the way life goes at times.

click to expand

honestly i didnt know what to expect. or if there was the next level 😛

it sounded to me like he was going back on the way he's been acting/talking. i felt led on. and played. i know he didnt' do it on purpose.

like you said, it's life sometimes. but i wished he was more honest and cut the "sweet talk".

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

and from the last time i texted him about meeting, and him saying once he gets the time we can meet, i saw him at work - i stoppped by his desk on purpose and we chatted. ( i didn't allow 2 mths tovgo by, i did reach out somehow) he even paid me a compliment - work related. i know on one hand he blames himself also, so i'm not sure if i should "push" to get closer and talk, or he just does not want to!

click to expand

I see. You omitted so many details. I could only give my perspective based on that. He should be taking initiative too, to mend the issue. I don't see why you're doing it all.

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

yeah, it is a bit of long story, i will sum it up. he showed interest about 2 yrs ago. i wasnt sure about it then. last december i decided to give it a try. me and him have been going out since december till april, dinner dates, drives, almost every weekend and sometimes during the week also, holding hands. but we never got more intimate than that. i never wanted to push him in any direction so i was going at his pace. but his conersation over text was much more intimate. we got close emotionally, he was very loving and called me his darling, and that he will be there for me no matter what. he insisted to meet my family, brought gifts. it was all going as in dating. so in april i finally asked him where are we, never been intimate, even though many times after him droping me off, he would text telling me he wished he was with me (!?) after i asked what was going on he told me that he feels more than friend, but he is confused, and he didnt want to duck up our relationship but he needs to work on himself.

even though i could have handled it better, it felt very insulting to me. so after talking for a bit and him going on and on how wonderful i am but he respects me too much to be intimate(—!) and that he needs to work on himself, and he sees me as a very good friend.

few days later, i approached him and i wanted to let him know that i actually do appreciate everything he did(and i did make sure i expressed my appreciation before as well) and i told him that i consider him a friend as well (we've supported each other thru few things) and that I really wanted to talk in person

he agreed and told me he was going out of town for a week or so and when he gets back we can meet.

during his time away i texted him wishing him a good time and he replied.

then he returned (we work together) we ran into each other at work, he told him how tired he was. i texted him again that i understand he is tired and that whenever he is ready i still look forward to talking - he said for sure.

two weeks later i texted him again and told him ive been sad and missed him and i'd like to talk and make things right.

he told me again that once he has some time we can talk.

i reached out 3 times.

now i get it if he'd rather not deal with it. but i also sense that mayyybe he wants me to try harder. it's difficult to know if it would bother him or not.

So....it seems like you expected things to go to the next level but became disappointed when it didn't. Understandable. He mentioned being confused and working on himself and not being ready for intimacy. These phrases were telling. You didn't accept the meaning. It can be frustrating desiring and loving someone who's just not ready to be what you need them to be. At this point, there isn't much to do, but move forward. You've made at least 3 attempts to talk it out. He's rejected those invitations. Don't force something that has clearly been rejected. In time you'll heal from the disappointment. It sucks but it's the way life goes at times.

honestly i didnt know what to expect. or if there was the next level 😛

it sounded to me like he was going back on the way he's been acting/talking. i felt led on. and played. i know he didnt' do it on purpose.

like you said, it's life sometimes. but i wished he was more honest and cut the "sweet talk".

click to expand

I'm in agreement w you. He seemed confused as he stated. Thus he used that to lead you on. Thank God you didn't sleep w him 🤦

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

yeah, it is a bit of long story, i will sum it up. he showed interest about 2 yrs ago. i wasnt sure about it then. last december i decided to give it a try. me and him have been going out since december till april, dinner dates, drives, almost every weekend and sometimes during the week also, holding hands. but we never got more intimate than that. i never wanted to push him in any direction so i was going at his pace. but his conersation over text was much more intimate. we got close emotionally, he was very loving and called me his darling, and that he will be there for me no matter what. he insisted to meet my family, brought gifts. it was all going as in dating. so in april i finally asked him where are we, never been intimate, even though many times after him droping me off, he would text telling me he wished he was with me (!?) after i asked what was going on he told me that he feels more than friend, but he is confused, and he didnt want to duck up our relationship but he needs to work on himself.

even though i could have handled it better, it felt very insulting to me. so after talking for a bit and him going on and on how wonderful i am but he respects me too much to be intimate(—!) and that he needs to work on himself, and he sees me as a very good friend.

few days later, i approached him and i wanted to let him know that i actually do appreciate everything he did(and i did make sure i expressed my appreciation before as well) and i told him that i consider him a friend as well (we've supported each other thru few things) and that I really wanted to talk in person

he agreed and told me he was going out of town for a week or so and when he gets back we can meet.

during his time away i texted him wishing him a good time and he replied.

then he returned (we work together) we ran into each other at work, he told him how tired he was. i texted him again that i understand he is tired and that whenever he is ready i still look forward to talking - he said for sure.

two weeks later i texted him again and told him ive been sad and missed him and i'd like to talk and make things right.

he told me again that once he has some time we can talk.

i reached out 3 times.

now i get it if he'd rather not deal with it. but i also sense that mayyybe he wants me to try harder. it's difficult to know if it would bother him or not.

So....it seems like you expected things to go to the next level but became disappointed when it didn't. Understandable. He mentioned being confused and working on himself and not being ready for intimacy. These phrases were telling. You didn't accept the meaning. It can be frustrating desiring and loving someone who's just not ready to be what you need them to be. At this point, there isn't much to do, but move forward. You've made at least 3 attempts to talk it out. He's rejected those invitations. Don't force something that has clearly been rejected. In time you'll heal from the disappointment. It sucks but it's the way life goes at times.

honestly i didnt know what to expect. or if there was the next level 😛

it sounded to me like he was going back on the way he's been acting/talking. i felt led on. and played. i know he didnt' do it on purpose.

like you said, it's life sometimes. but i wished he was more honest and cut the "sweet talk".

I'm in agreement w you. He seemed confused as he stated. Thus he used that to lead you on. Thank God you didn't sleep w him 🤦

click to expand

yeah, i guess, sexual intimacy brings even more attachment, although emotional attachment is also strong. one thing im concerned is that he is ok, he did go on and on about how he didn't want to fuck it up and he did anyway! and since he had been into me for the past 2 yrs and we even got to be friends and share lots of fun times before "dating", I thought he would not be confused. lol

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

Posted by Rising

Posted by sweetpea2977

From "being close", having a "stupid misunderstanding", to "cutting him loose?" Wow. How does that happen? Seems pretty extreme. Now, you'd like him to open up but you've ALLOWED two whole months to pass? No good.

I had a "friend" reach out to me a few months ago, to reconnect with me. We've "known" each other since the age of 22. In 2017, our friendship ended and since it was my decision, I never looked back. When she reached out to me, claiming to miss me and wanting me back in her life, there was an 18 month span. So yeah, I told her, you've ALLOWED 18 whole months to pass without us talking. Who does that? Yeah, no thanks. I was definitely uninterested in reconnecting on any level.

yeah, it is a bit of long story, i will sum it up. he showed interest about 2 yrs ago. i wasnt sure about it then. last december i decided to give it a try. me and him have been going out since december till april, dinner dates, drives, almost every weekend and sometimes during the week also, holding hands. but we never got more intimate than that. i never wanted to push him in any direction so i was going at his pace. but his conersation over text was much more intimate. we got close emotionally, he was very loving and called me his darling, and that he will be there for me no matter what. he insisted to meet my family, brought gifts. it was all going as in dating. so in april i finally asked him where are we, never been intimate, even though many times after him droping me off, he would text telling me he wished he was with me (!?) after i asked what was going on he told me that he feels more than friend, but he is confused, and he didnt want to duck up our relationship but he needs to work on himself.

even though i could have handled it better, it felt very insulting to me. so after talking for a bit and him going on and on how wonderful i am but he respects me too much to be intimate(—!) and that he needs to work on himself, and he sees me as a very good friend.

few days later, i approached him and i wanted to let him know that i actually do appreciate everything he did(and i did make sure i expressed my appreciation before as well) and i told him that i consider him a friend as well (we've supported each other thru few things) and that I really wanted to talk in person

he agreed and told me he was going out of town for a week or so and when he gets back we can meet.

during his time away i texted him wishing him a good time and he replied.

then he returned (we work together) we ran into each other at work, he told him how tired he was. i texted him again that i understand he is tired and that whenever he is ready i still look forward to talking - he said for sure.

two weeks later i texted him again and told him ive been sad and missed him and i'd like to talk and make things right.

he told me again that once he has some time we can talk.

i reached out 3 times.

now i get it if he'd rather not deal with it. but i also sense that mayyybe he wants me to try harder. it's difficult to know if it would bother him or not.

So....it seems like you expected things to go to the next level but became disappointed when it didn't. Understandable. He mentioned being confused and working on himself and not being ready for intimacy. These phrases were telling. You didn't accept the meaning. It can be frustrating desiring and loving someone who's just not ready to be what you need them to be. At this point, there isn't much to do, but move forward. You've made at least 3 attempts to talk it out. He's rejected those invitations. Don't force something that has clearly been rejected. In time you'll heal from the disappointment. It sucks but it's the way life goes at times.

honestly i didnt know what to expect. or if there was the next level 😛

it sounded to me like he was going back on the way he's been acting/talking. i felt led on. and played. i know he didnt' do it on purpose.

like you said, it's life sometimes. but i wished he was more honest and cut the "sweet talk".

I'm in agreement w you. He seemed confused as he stated. Thus he used that to lead you on. Thank God you didn't sleep w him 🤦

click to expand

but thanks for the comments, sweetpea2977!!

Hey there, Aqua female currently caught up in the cancer eclipse/mercury retrograde energy that has broken me & my cancer male up (more on that later, maybe). Cancer males need to punish u first by making u feel the way they did when u left. They don't like that they felt emotional about you & couldn't manage it. Extra points if you tell them how sad u are that they're gone & if they can see u cry why u do this. Try sending a small goodbye gift if you still care. They love the extra mile, being softy romantics beneath their hard crab exoskeleton. Keep in mind the eclipse in cancer amplifying all the cancer traits. There was a good reason you cut him loose. Don't lose your confidence

Posted by violetprism

Hey there, Aqua female currently caught up in the cancer eclipse/mercury retrograde energy that has broken me & my cancer male up (more on that later, maybe). Cancer males need to punish u first by making u feel the way they did when u left. They don't like that they felt emotional about you & couldn't manage it. Extra points if you tell them how sad u are that they're gone & if they can see u cry why u do this. Try sending a small goodbye gift if you still care. They love the extra mile, being softy romantics beneath their hard crab exoskeleton. Keep in mind the eclipse in cancer amplifying all the cancer traits. There was a good reason you cut him loose. Don't lose your confidence

Awww, thank you!! if I can help it at all, i will go the extra mile/s. He is really a special person, not because i like him. I've known him for some time and i know he's not perfect,I'm well aware of his issues, just like me as well.

i did feel that he is "punishing" me. thing is he was a bit contradicting himself, saying i was a good friend, but that he couldnt lie, and that he felt more than friendship for me.......my turn to be confused.

i told him, (couple months ago) that i was sad w/o him, that i've been crying and need to talk to him. he apologized for "doing this wrong to me"

his bday is coming up in 10 days and i'm planning to give him a card.

if i may, what happened with your Cancer guy?

Posted by MissKrabs

i don't get how you hurt him?

seems like you were playing couple, but when you expressed your thoughts on it, things got real for him, and that it is bad timing for him. even for the talk, maybe he has no idea what to tell you. and since you are not pushing even better.

I thought of that also. He just doesn't know what to say.

I figured it was quite a change in his behavior, and I've had misunderstandings/fights with others before, and we would always talk it out somehow, but since he has gone completely silent, maybe he was hurt by me cutting off the communication. Maybe he was moving sideways - crab like- and was telling me yes im a friend, but also yes he has feelings for me and yes he is confused! haha

Posted by LethalFantasia

Cancer is about /understanding

this is not a sign where you're like "o0ops sorri" just to try and sweep shit that may have rlly hurt them under the rug

you have to address it and ask them why they were so upset & genuinely try and find clarity to even know what you should/maybe shouldn't even be #sorri about

but yah, seems like you hurt him & he ghosted! lolz x

lol, thanks for the insightb 🙂

i didn't mean to just "oops sorry" type of thing, but in any relationship there are disagreements and fights and we end up hurting each other.

i did address it and i communicated to him how sorry i felt for cutting him off and that maybe i misunderstood him (?!!?) and that I would like to talk about it. to which he replied (on 3 different occasions) that sure, we can talk about it as soon as he gets some time.

at this point no answer is an answer, so it is what it is. but i also found out that for Cancer it is not unusual to go for many weeks w/o communicating and taking their time. So i didn't want to judge the situation based on my standards - which is fix it asap and communicate and move on.

Posted by LethalFantasia

Cancer is about /understanding

this is not a sign where you're like "o0ops sorri" just to try and sweep shit that may have rlly hurt them under the rug

you have to address it and ask them why they were so upset & genuinely try and find clarity to even know what you should/maybe shouldn't even be #sorri about

but yah, seems like you hurt him & he ghosted! lolz x

lol, thanks for the insightb 🙂

i didn't mean to just "oops sorry" type of thing, but in any relationship there are disagreements and fights and we end up hurting each other.

i did address it and i communicated to him how sorry i felt for cutting him off and that maybe i misunderstood him (?!!?) and that I would like to talk about it. to which he replied (on 3 different occasions) that sure, we can talk about it as soon as he gets some time.

at this point no answer is an answer, so it is what it is. but i also found out that for Cancer it is not unusual to go for many weeks w/o communicating and taking their time. So i didn't want to judge the situation based on my standards - which is fix it asap and communicate and move on.

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by Rising

Posted by LethalFantasia

Cancer is about /understanding

this is not a sign where you're like "o0ops sorri" just to try and sweep shit that may have rlly hurt them under the rug

you have to address it and ask them why they were so upset & genuinely try and find clarity to even know what you should/maybe shouldn't even be #sorri about

but yah, seems like you hurt him & he ghosted! lolz x

lol, thanks for the insightb 🙂

i didn't mean to just "oops sorry" type of thing, but in any relationship there are disagreements and fights and we end up hurting each other.

i did address it and i communicated to him how sorry i felt for cutting him off and that maybe i misunderstood him (?!!?) and that I would like to talk about it. to which he replied (on 3 different occasions) that sure, we can talk about it as soon as he gets some time.

at this point no answer is an answer, so it is what it is. but i also found out that for Cancer it is not unusual to go for many weeks w/o communicating and taking their time. So i didn't want to judge the situation based on my standards - which is fix it asap and communicate and move on.

Sorry sometimes I type things and people can't hear my tone cos they're reading obvs and it can come off like in an authoritative way or something so I try to use "lolz" a lot but yah, I know what you meant with your post & I was just kind of like 'summing up' how a lot of people deal with Cancer/heavy water energy sometimes x

But anyway, yah, not sure what his deal is but if he's not answering then there's only so much you can do, I suppose

never chase/follow someone like they're a baby because honestly that behavior is just not a cute look for you or the person being chased rofl

you reached out, they didn't respond, I say that sounds fine ta'moi

best wishes bb x

click to expand

hey 🙂 yeah txs for the clarification, I didn't think you sounded off (I've had worse lolol!)

and yea, NO CHASING, i just wanted to have smbd else's opinion on the matter. and txs for that

Posted by LethalFantasia

Posted by Rising

Posted by LethalFantasia

Cancer is about /understanding

this is not a sign where you're like "o0ops sorri" just to try and sweep shit that may have rlly hurt them under the rug

you have to address it and ask them why they were so upset & genuinely try and find clarity to even know what you should/maybe shouldn't even be #sorri about

but yah, seems like you hurt him & he ghosted! lolz x

lol, thanks for the insightb 🙂

i didn't mean to just "oops sorry" type of thing, but in any relationship there are disagreements and fights and we end up hurting each other.

i did address it and i communicated to him how sorry i felt for cutting him off and that maybe i misunderstood him (?!!?) and that I would like to talk about it. to which he replied (on 3 different occasions) that sure, we can talk about it as soon as he gets some time.

at this point no answer is an answer, so it is what it is. but i also found out that for Cancer it is not unusual to go for many weeks w/o communicating and taking their time. So i didn't want to judge the situation based on my standards - which is fix it asap and communicate and move on.

Sorry sometimes I type things and people can't hear my tone cos they're reading obvs and it can come off like in an authoritative way or something so I try to use "lolz" a lot but yah, I know what you meant with your post & I was just kind of like 'summing up' how a lot of people deal with Cancer/heavy water energy sometimes x

But anyway, yah, not sure what his deal is but if he's not answering then there's only so much you can do, I suppose

never chase/follow someone like they're a baby because honestly that behavior is just not a cute look for you or the person being chased rofl

you reached out, they didn't respond, I say that sounds fine ta'moi

best wishes bb x

click to expand

hey 🙂 yeah txs for the clarification, I didn't think you sounded off (I've had worse lolol!)

and yea, NO CHASING, i just wanted to have smbd else's opinion on the matter. and txs for that

Posted by TripleC

Two months is a long time. I stopped talking to my old friend and when I saw him once and he suggested that I text him sometime, I just said okay. I never intended to talk again, though.

yeah it is a long time. if he didn't mean we would talk i wished he just said so. but that's life

txs 🙂

Posted by seraph

A relationship fizzling out after a disagreement (significant or not) or breakup is now called “ghosting”? He didn’t just up and disappear. Sometimes relationships run their course and that’s it. There’s nothing mysterious about it. The “telepathic” connection you talk about and the sharing you felt, the reciprocating and so on, is something that exists only in *your* mind. You can only know someone through your own filters—your own ideas about them that are coloured by your thinking as a matter of course. This is normal and quite sufficient. It isn’t an indictment of human connection, it’s just how it works.

He may not feel exactly as you do about the whole thing and no matter how close he felt to you at one point, he managed and interpreted these feelings through his own thinking. Feelings aren’t just these monolithic, isolated objects; they are always associated with other objects, i.e. thoughts, ideas, interpretive filters. Our head-spaces—yours and mine—can complement one another but they can never merge.

When he said he’ll speak to you at some point take it lightly, given what happened. Sometimes people will say whatever seems appropriate in order to be polite and nothing more. Even if he actually means it, don’t expect him to be in any rush.

And apologies don’t necessarily guarantee that you’ll get what you want. When you make amends make them for your own sake as much as for the sake of the other person. You’ve done what’s right and that’s more important than getting what you want.

i understand and agree with some of your mentions. and with others i respectfully disagree.

"taking it light"....i have a different set of values: if i say i will call then i will call, if im not sure, i will say so, if i have no intention of calling, i will say it.

but that's just me. so of course, others will act and behave differently

however, my values are by default the ones that i go by instinctively.

if i apologized and the person told me that was the end of the line, i would take it as such and respectfully part ways. i think the "ghosting" is when smbd says they will do smtg but then don't. and there is this pregnant silence, of time and space.

and agree, apologizing for the sake of doing what's right! 🙂

cheers!

Posted by Rising

Posted by MissKrabs

i don't get how you hurt him?

seems like you were playing couple, but when you expressed your thoughts on it, things got real for him, and that it is bad timing for him. even for the talk, maybe he has no idea what to tell you. and since you are not pushing even better.

I thought of that also. He just doesn't know what to say.

I figured it was quite a change in his behavior, and I've had misunderstandings/fights with others before, and we would always talk it out somehow, but since he has gone completely silent, maybe he was hurt by me cutting off the communication. Maybe he was moving sideways - crab like- and was telling me yes im a friend, but also yes he has feelings for me and yes he is confused! haha

click to expand

Or he met someone else and is uncertain of whether he wants to pursue things with you.

it did cross my mind lol 😛

thanks, everyone who gave me a "piece of their mind" lol

much appreciated!