Gemini Ex Wants To Be Friends (*only*)

I am Pisces (Pisces-Aries Cusp) man. I dated a Gemini woman 3 years ago. We broke up about two years because of my addiction problem. Despite this, we remained friends. However, over the past years and more recently she has been asking for favors, money etc. Untill, recently she made it clear than inspite of the favors I am doing for her she only wants us to be friends. I had a few concerns about this. This situation would put me in an aukward situation, in case I am dating some else as it would seem morally wrong to the other person. I also put out jealousy concerns, knowing that she would be with someone else. I thought about this, because I recently recovered from addiction problems and this whole situation would bring mental health isssues hence bring the addiction problems back. I want to put priotize my mental health in as much as I want to help her. What do you think?

Don't help her. That's what fuckin you up. Curve that hoe and send her to the depths. She playin games with you. She like you but not enough to reach out to you unless it's for money. She using you like a fuckin beta ATM and I don't even use that beta word. Cut her off I guarantee there's better girls out there. Ain't no way she a 10 or something. Don't let your feelings fuck your mental up. Get out your head stay focused

Posted by route666aybb
Don't help her. That's what fuckin you up. Curve that hoe and send her to the depths. She playin games with you. She like you but not enough to reach out to you unless it's for money. She using you like a fuckin beta ATM and I don't even use that beta word. Cut her off I guarantee there's better girls out there. Ain't no way she a 10 or something. Don't let your feelings fuck your mental up. Get out your head stay focused

Thanks, this is some valuable advice.

Posted by chris19

Posted by route666aybb
Don't help her. That's what fuckin you up. Curve that hoe and send her to the depths. She playin games with you. She like you but not enough to reach out to you unless it's for money. She using you like a fuckin beta ATM and I don't even use that beta word. Cut her off I guarantee there's better girls out there. Ain't no way she a 10 or something. Don't let your feelings fuck your mental up. Get out your head stay focused

Thanks, this is some valuable advice.

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Just try not to lose your soul because you care about her especially when she's a female. They just not gon go as hard for you as you would to them unless you hit all their superficial checkmarks on they list. Best of luck

Posted by chris19
I am Pisces (Pisces-Aries Cusp) man. I dated a Gemini woman 3 years ago. We broke up about two years because of my addiction problem. Despite this, we remained friends. However, over the past years and more recently she has been asking for favors, money etc. Untill, recently she made it clear than inspite of the favors I am doing for her she only wants us to be friends. I had a few concerns about this. This situation would put me in an aukward situation, in case I am dating some else as it would seem morally wrong to the other person. I also put out jealousy concerns, knowing that she would be with someone else. I thought about this, because I recently recovered from addiction problems and this whole situation would bring mental health isssues hence bring the addiction problems back. I want to put priotize my mental health in as much as I want to help her. What do you think?

Prioritize your mental health. Whatever is happening is happening. You are no good to yourself or anyone else otherwise. You don't have the energy to hold yourself up and her then that is it.

As for favors....men and women invest into relationships differently and that causes attachment. For males traditionally it is materially and financially. That's what's tripping you up here. It's natural. Your concerns for future prospects are very valid too.

Do what you can when you want. If it's messing with you then stop.

Support her in other ways as a friend because you care. Care about yourself too.

P.S this is from learning with first hand experience something similar to your situation. Yes it will fuck you up over giving to the point of sacrificing your own well-being for another when you can't afford it on multiple levels. Specifically when their is no mutuality to compensate the tradeoffs, or any other kind of return from even yourself. And that is exactly what you are feeling right now. Internal red flags.

...Besides, if you go off the deep end again, the core issue that caused the break up in the first place....

only help her if you want to, not because you’re expecting something back from her.

if remaining in contact with her is messing with your head/heart in some way,

next time she contacts you with a favor, just tell her “i don’t think what we have going on right now is healthy for either of us in the long run.”

emphasize the long run part. she’ll understand.

i’m not a huge fan of ignoring/silent treatments (i think they are childish). so i would just be honest with her instead of ignoring hoping the other person gets the hint or something.

you can technically still be friends.

You know what we Gems do? Test. It reminds me of Jurassic Park where the velociraptors would test the electric fence to see if they could break out or not. We are going to push to see where our boundaries are. Stop giving. Now! Test HER loyalty for a change.

Posted by geminiflyby
You know what we Gems do? Test. It reminds me of Jurassic Park where the velociraptors would test the electric fence to see if they could break out or not. We are going to push to see where our boundaries are. Stop giving. Now! Test HER loyalty for a change.

This is not the first time we had this conversation. I have tried a couple of times to reason with her. I would eventually door slam. Go silent for while. At one time I told her I am leaving for good and I don't want to ever see her again. She asked me to let the communication lines to remain open. Then she would contact me when ever she needs help. Apparently, I have been noticing this pattern.

There’s nothing wrong with communication. But when it comes with obligations then you’re just getting used. What if you just turn her down when she asks for something. “Sorry, I can’t do that.” And don’t offer further explanation. If she says why not then you can call her out on it.

I think that should work. Sometimes I would fall for her her charms, stories, and sometimes I would just tell her I no. She said I am obsessed with her. Lol

Are you?

No. I am not obsessed. She says I should have moved on by now, because it's over some months/years now as she did since we broke up . She plainly stated that she has no feelings for me. I haven't moved on. Which is why I insisted on cutting communication with her.

Posted by geminiflyby
You know what we Gems do? Test. It reminds me of Jurassic Park where the velociraptors would test the electric fence to see if they could break out or not. We are going to push to see where our boundaries are. Stop giving. Now! Test HER loyalty for a change.

Except more like chickens less like raptors

Ah, so there it is Fish. You keep communication open hoping she will change. That’s a shit position to be in. You haven’t moved on.

Maybe cutting communication is best after all. She gets attention and favors and you get more heartache. If you were on equal terms then friendship is possible. It’s clear that’s not the case.

Exactly, my thoughts. I think she understood that I just need to be left alone.

Posted by chris19
Exactly, my thoughts. I think she understood that I just need to be left alone.

Just say “nope” to everything she’s asking for (money or favours)without any explanation. You’ll feel like getting your power back.

Posted by Undine

Posted by chris19
Exactly, my thoughts. I think she understood that I just need to be left alone.

Just say “nope” to everything she’s asking for (money or favours)without any explanation. You’ll feel like getting your power back.

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I will try doing that. Funny thing is that she also says no or says things without giving an explanation when I confront her about this situation. I guess, I will have to give her a taste of her own medicine.

The worst thing you can do to a Gem is cut communication. Do it.