@CancerLeoDynamite
13 Years1,000+ Posts
17 days disappearance (Page 3)
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[2012/09/02 08:23] Aquarius guy : Part of me thinks you're adorable, too.
[2012/09/02 08:24] Aquarius guy: I try to punch that part's face, though, because it's a fag.
and one time when he first started acting weird, he logged in and instead of coming straight to me, or IM-ing me he ignored me all night to talk to other people so I did the same, left him alone and at the end of the night he comes to where I am, we talk a bit on voice (casually - i certainly didnt ask him why he had been ignoring me cause i knew)and then..
[2012/10/05 22:16] Aquarius guy: I'm off to bed anyway, Balfour.
[2012/10/05 22:17] CancerL😱 Gnight 🙂
[2012/10/05 22:17] Aquarius guy: Just wanted to pop in and chat with you first.
[2012/10/05 22:17] CancerL😱 aw
[2012/10/05 22:17] Aquarius guy: Yeah. You make me a huge fag.
[2012/10/05 22:17] Aquarius guy: THANKS.
[2012/10/05 22:17] CancerL😱 heh
[2012/10/05 22:17] Aquarius guy: 'Night, balfour.
(Balfour is one of like, 10 nicknames he has for me, mostly we call each other buttface, which for a while got shortened to La face and I called him Le Butt, or Just Butt, and He'd call me face)
and one of the last convos we had;
[2012/10/16 23:18] Aquarius guy: Time for me to make sleep, Balfour.
[2012/10/16 23:18] CancerL😱 christ i ddint even realize the time
[2012/10/16 23:18] CancerL😱 me too buttface
[2012/10/16 23:19] CancerL😱 dont be such a stranger m8
[2012/10/16 23:19] Aquarius guy: Okay, pocket-lady.
[2012/10/16 23:19] CancerL😱 nini
[2012/10/16 23:19] Aquarius guy: Yeah, just haven't been on much.
[2012/10/16 23:19] CancerL😱 i noticed
[2012/10/16 23:19] CancerL😱 its ok 🙂
[2012/10/16 23:19] CancerL😱 i always got stuff to do
[2012/10/16 23:19] Aquarius guy: Missed chatting with you, though.
[2012/10/16 23:19] CancerL😱
When I told him "no way" about the relationship he knew very well I was simply being coy..There is no way in hell he took that to mean anything other than "if you think Im gonna be dumb enough to admit to you I really want this and scare you off, you have another thought comin' bub"
we also had a discussion on voice one time, where I asked him if I was just one of his pals, on the same level as our mutual friends, and he admitted I was not on that level.
This guy says a LOT of stuff that turns out to be complete bullshit,mixed signals etc it's hilarious really, and as a cancer I am tuned into peoples feelings and ignore their words, and that has always worked REALY WELL with this guy, because his words are -all over the place- so yeh I had every reason to believe he was full of crap about the one year thing.
I realize this is a snippet sort of out of context but i assure you even with the rest of the convo.. im still confused
[2012/09/30 17:56] CancerL😱 I just thought u were some old gross guy i just wanted a celibate pal, you changed everything when you started talking about love feelings and one year meetings n shit.
[2012/09/30 17:57] Aquarius guy: I just made up the one year crap because I feel weird about meeting some Internet girl, dumbass.
[2012/09/30 17:57] CancerL😱 so you were never going tio meet me? haha
[2012/09/30 17:58] CancerL😱 jesus I am a dumbass and you are pretty fucking mean
[2012/09/30 17:58] Aquarius guy: No, I did intend to, but I figured by then I'll know if you're some mental girl or not.
[2012/09/30 17:58] CancerL😱 im not a psycho, im a bit weird, I dont cut people or burn their shit down
[2012/09/30 17:58] CancerL😱 wtf
[2012/09/30 17:58] CancerL😱 youre probably way scarier than me
[2012/09/30 17:59] CancerL😱 I know that you are
[2012/09/30 17:59] Aquarius guy: Definitely, yes.
There were countless voice conversations about how we would be in a relationship,, how we like to hold hands out in public, how we like our space in bed, to sleep rather than cuddle all night, how he;d do such and such to bug me, how we were treat our children in such n such a situation, etc etc
lol fuck, whatever. shrug
"If I am right there, then make no mistake Aqua does value friendship and didnt say goodbye cause he didnt walk away but rather is on another planet that is secret from everyone."
Hey cancerleodynamite....
U know I had like to internet relationships that turned into real relationships. You really do forge a connection with these men.
Posted by coldwater
Hey cancerleodynamite....U know I had like to internet relationships that turned into real relationships. You really do forge a connection with these men.
Thank you!
That's all I'm trying to say, emotions are a bunch of chemical responses, so the fuck what if I got those from some online guy who ended up not working out, or some rl guy who ended up not working out?
I'm not some virgin who's never had a relationship, I'm a divorcee for chrissakes. I've been fucking up REAL LIFE RELATIONSHIPS, long before I started fucking up internet ones tyvm aha. Point being, I know what it feels like to be in BOTH, and the difference? yeh hey guess what, as far as the first few months of casual getting to know you/fall for you type crap..
there isnt one! it feels the same.
It really belittles me and my feelings and what I had with this guy when people keep trying to play it off like it "wasnt real"
It wasn't "really serious" but it was "real". We both bonded, and connected and felt stuff for one another.
Am I a total dweeb?
Yes, yes I am.
I have a -lot- of issues with intimacy, physical and emotional intimacy scare the CRAP out of me. My marriage was -REALLY- fucking abusive, I mean like that shit could get Oprah weepin' and be turned into made for tv movies n shit. I mean like I havent been with a man in five years because the few times I tried |I ended up shaking like a human fucking vibrator and felt like I had 5 buckets of ice dropped on me.
I am not interested in dating people irl, and having to deal with the physical intimacy aspect of it. I simply cannot. I also cannot conceive of living the rest of my life without any emotional connection with a man. It felt absolutely wonderful to bond with this man, without any fear that he will try and touch me, and I will start vibrating. Literally hahaha, it is so embarrassing and then I have to explain, and I am not comfortable with that look of sympathy. I dont need your fucking sympathy. -barf-
I would very much have liked to try and bring this into real life, to have tried touching this man, but it wasn't meant to be.
Ce'st la vie!
Im totally ok with it now.
Ranting into here got it all out of my ocd neurotic jew system.
I retain warm feelings for my Aqua, i -really- do Understand why he wasn't ready and frankly, neither was I.
This was never about anything other than feeli
feeling dissed he couldnt even say bye 😢
On a side note; love your pic Coldwater!
Thanks alot
I met my cancer man online. This has been quite the whirlwind.
Posted by coldwater
I met my cancer man online. This has been quite the whirlwind.
Can I Private msg you about something related? I am having a thought that is possibly so crazy I don't even wanna say it on the boards hahaha but it is ON MY MIND
Sure
Posted by coldwater
Sure
haha
-shaking my head-
Ok I sent it
uhm
-blush-
yeh it's kind of a crazy thought but...
hahaha
I HAVE MY REASONS
Well folks;
Just a thought....
I am Aquarius after all....
I think telling him that you didn't want a relationship.... unless you really meant it and from what I gather with what you have said.... you did want one right? I think that was probably not a good move but hey you know the situation better you where in it talking with him not me.
All I know is... I usually feel like I can always feel people out at least if I'm in person with them so if they tell me one thing but they really don't mean it I usually know... But I am not always right and I will second guess myself.
If it was me in person with you and you told me that more than once I probably would wonder... especially if you are a good actor. If you say that over the internet where there is no body language or voice inflection or anything.... just dead text.
I would definitely believe what you said.... I guess I'm gullable but I dunno if anyone could just be that intuitive. But if you where talking for a long time exclusively.... ehh I dunno... I'm sorry things worked out the way they did... I'm a lot more open with how I feel these days If I had been him even if you told me NO you didn't want a relationship, I probably would have told you yes If I really wanted to have one with you... especially if it is over the internet what that is like so much easier... But years ago maybe I would do just like him. Keep it under lock in key. The way I look at it is what have I got to lose? If you really don't respond to that then I never had you... Although as my name implies I'm not your typical Aquarius I guess
He is back.
He came back 4 months TO THE DAY.
It feels like he never left.
I didn't ask he didn't tell.
Dangerous.
My heart is a fuckin-flutter.
Ok lets get really weird now cause WHY THE FUCK NOT.
haha so;
I got addicted to this board and tarot cards, during the last four months. Something about heartbreak makes me reach out and look for hope/answers. the truth is I don't believe in astrology or tarot but something kept drawing me back to the board and back to the cards.
I kept a little book and recorded my spreads. I was being stalked by a card.. the cards told the truth, He is not here and youll have to wait, he has a choice to make.
I forced myself to stop coming to dxp and almost stopped the cards but on Monday I couldnt help myself I had to do a spread.. I spent all of sunday reallly reallly wanting to, but by Monday i couldnt hold out.
he was back, the cards said so..
i wasnt sure i believed it
i went and grabbed some internet time on my way home from work on Tuesday and there he was. He had been back since Sunday.
Now the cards are saying that we are going to be together and have a family.
-shrug-
for whatever the fuck thats worth, the cards are on my side.
I have no one to talk too about any of it and it's this jumble of emotion right now.
Im so excited and scared and hurt, but hopeful and swooning, Literally swooning.
My Aqua came back.
lol love it!.. Im so glad you typed up, I was wondering about you the other day.. mines back on the scene too since 2 weeks ago..
Fingers and toes crossed its for the right reasons and the ones we hope for 🙂
Well, I'm glad to hear it 😉
Posted by guccigemini55
lol love it!.. Im so glad you typed up, I was wondering about you the other day.. mines back on the scene too since 2 weeks ago..Fingers and toes crossed its for the right reasons and the ones we hope for 🙂
Posted by NotYourAverageAquarius
Well, I'm glad to hear it 😉
The weird thing is
the reaction was nothing at all what I expected
when you called me buttface that 1 day my HEART LEAPT into my throat, it physically hurt but when I logged in and saw him there on tuesaday I was even tempered, hardly surprised.. it was a little odd for me.
sigh
Posted by guccigemini55
lol love it!.. Im so glad you typed up, I was wondering about you the other day.. mines back on the scene too since 2 weeks ago..Fingers and toes crossed its for the right reasons and the ones we hope for 🙂
click to expandAwwe hugs going out to you my darling xoxox ..Why did he leave?
I think he is fallen over on your beauty first but when the time passed he realised he is not getting the mind stimulation from you as he thought. Trust me this sign is the loyal of all the zodiac but there is a bit of work to be done. He don't expects anything from you other than his personal space, freedom and ease to communicate. If you can provide this then he will be all yours.
Posted by geminidude
I think he is fallen over on your beauty first but when the time passed he realised he is not getting the mind stimulation from you as he thought. Trust me this sign is the loyal of all the zodiac but there is a bit of work to be done. He don't expects anything from you other than his personal space, freedom and ease to communicate. If you can provide this then he will be all yours.
he told me 2 days ago "the best part about you is your mind"
so no
youre wrong, also that's rude.
Don't be rude in my thread.
Posted by guccigemini55
lol love it!.. Im so glad you typed up, I was wondering about you the other day.. mines back on the scene too since 2 weeks ago..Fingers and toes crossed its for the right reasons and the ones we hope for 🙂
Awwe hugs going out to you my darling xoxox ..Why did he leave?
click to expandWell it's not like he SAID why but it's obvious isnt it? I mean they leave cause theyre freaked out, protecting their hearts from the fall, collecting their thoughts, etc.
No?
I get it but, fuck it hurt. It sucked really badly and now what?
Now what?fuck
it's good to see you back, CLD!
Posted by guccigemini55
lol love it!.. Im so glad you typed up, I was wondering about you the other day.. mines back on the scene too since 2 weeks ago..Fingers and toes crossed its for the right reasons and the ones we hope for 🙂
How about you ask him—Im pretty sure if you ask him, what's going on, what happen & what do you happening from here on out and I'm pretty sure he'll give you an honest answer & hopefully you can avoid him walking away next time. He has all the answers you need. Good luck 🙂
click to expandhe has been skirting me 😢
I dont want to -demand- but im being left no choice 😢
Posted by geminidude
I think he is fallen over on your beauty first but when the time passed he realised he is not getting the mind stimulation from you as he thought. Trust me this sign is the loyal of all the zodiac but there is a bit of work to be done. He don't expects anything from you other than his personal space, freedom and ease to communicate. If you can provide this then he will be all yours.he told me 2 days ago "the best part about you is your mind"
so no
youre wrong, also that's rude.
Don't be rude in my thread.click to expand
Well am really sorry if I upset you with my straight talk. If he knows your best part then he'll be yours then. Good Luck
CLD, in his post Geminidude gave you some serious straight talk. 17 days without a word and then he comes back like nothing happened. He might appreciate your mind but, he has no consideration for your heart or emotional well-being. Watch your back with this guy. As for the cards, you guys could end up together and have some kids but, it doesn't necessarily mean that wouldn't be pulling the disappearing/distant act.
We have been watching films "together".
He picked the first one, Shadowlands.
very romantic film, actually.
Very sad.
We talked a bit.
He was sorry he hurt me by not saying bye.
he missed me,
hes been dreaming of me
He told me hes terrified of loving me, I told him I'm worth it
he said;
That's what I'm afraid of
I know in my heart its inevitable, In fact i told him he is merely prolonging the inevitable and he said "probably".
-shrug-
I'll just give him the time he needs.
I apologized for pushing him.
I'm going to stop listening to other peoples negative advice,
their Bias
I'm going to enjoy the fuck out of this
every last drop
If we are going to have the rest of our lives together
I don't need to rush this.
This is the best time
that sweet anxiety, of not knowing
of yearning
of longing
haha he was drunk the other night, and accidentally called me baby
he tried to cover it up, baby-er i mean buttface
His heart is already aching to be with me, his body can take as long as it needs
Im so happy for you 🙂
Enjoy the ride, baby!!! 🙂
So we have been an official couple for 2 months now.
He finally bit the bullet and we met in person.
He randomly stares into my eyes and tells me how in love he is.
Aqua gaze is very intense and he has super blue eyes.. it's.. wow.
Tells me one day hes going to have to make me his wife
Tells me he wants me to be the mother to his children.
Introduced me to family.
Never disappears
the sex is INFUCKINCREDIBLE
I'm on cloud nine, seriously I am head over heels in love with this man.
I waited 6 years to find the perfect match
we spent an entire year falling in love with each others minds
making SURE this was legit.
this is it
this is the sort of love people write about
I cannot believe I am so lucky.
Wow, congratulations! Wish you two the utmost happiness!!!
The Aqua aloofness is so hard to deal with, especially with Leo placements who need a lot of nurturing and care. >w
Posted by lisabethur8
it's good to see you back, CLD!
hi CancerLeoDynamite, glad you had a happy ending and i hope for it to last for a lifetime.*
btw, i did send you a private message about something private. haha hope to hear your response soon. thanks!
Thank you for following up on your story. I wanted it to work out for you. There is no closure with Aquamen. I mean if you ever want closure with them you can make it happen easy. But youll never want to make that happen and im not so sure they will let you (they wont make it easy) past a certain point, ie, once they love you.
So we have been an official couple for 2 months now.
He finally bit the bullet and we met in person.
He randomly stares into my eyes and tells me how in love he is.
Aqua gaze is very intense and he has super blue eyes.. it's.. wow.
Tells me one day hes going to have to make me his wife
Tells me he wants me to be the mother to his children.
Introduced me to family.
Never disappears
the sex is INFUCKINCREDIBLE
I'm on cloud nine, seriously I am head over heels in love with this man.
I waited 6 years to find the perfect match
we spent an entire year falling in love with each others minds
making SURE this was legit.
this is it
this is the sort of love people write about
I cannot believe I am so lucky.
❤️
are you guys married now?
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It was not easy for him to do so, but he did tell me he had "Love feelings" for me, He did express feelings of missing me, and immediately admitted that made him feel like a fag and in a joking way (but probably half serious as well) he seemed to be resentful towards me about it, let me show you some examples of what I mean (names have been changed to protect the er well hes not innocent rofl..but yeh)
[2012/09/02 08:23] Aquarius guy : Part of me think