Aqua boyfriend returning from rehab in a few days

l don't know, where to start. Mmm, we've known each other for 9 years but been together for 3. Ever since l've known him, he was a drinker but l always assumed he was a casual drinker like myself. He never showed signs of being addicted to alcohol NEVER. Once we got together l seen another side of him which determined he's an alcoholic. Several times he promised to stop but he didn't. I believed him because l deeply love this man. Instead, his drinking tolerance increased as the years gone by and blamed everyone for his drinking. His drinking has caused MANY FIGHTS. It has got to the point of me getting physical with him. I just wanted him to stop! I really did. I know l couldn't force him but his drinking brought out another side of me because l'm the bread winner, my job was put in jeopardy daily, lost contact with my friends, l lost myself, l had to often cover up what was going for his mother and my family. A few months ago l broke my silence and told his mom what's going on & she didn't believe me, until she seen it herself. Every morning he would wake up on the floor in the living room. He would spend all his money on alcohol. Mind you we have kids. I couldn't take it anymore. So, early last month l reached my breaking point so l left work early and popped up on him at him at home and he was drunk at 10:30am. I demanded that he goes to detox facility which will take him to rehab from there in 5 days. I explained my frustration to him & surprisingly he went, but check himself out 2 days later. Three days later he went away to a 28 day rehab program. We have not spoken much since he's been away(twice) I often ignore the calls because l need to focus on me and my kids and l want him to focus on himself. As the days get closer l'm feeling sick to my stomach again. I hate to say this but it's been peaceful without him here. His drinking has destroyed everything and l'm having mix feelings. I do care & still love him so much but l'm lost.

Any advice would be great ?.

He'll go back drinking again if you're not welcome him ?

Go to Al-Anon.

Try a few different meetings, because they're all different.

He isn't the only one who needs to learn how to live, and

to heal... you both do, because you've both been affected.

If he comes back, and he isn't drinking, then that's a good

(really, really good) start-- and give it time.

Don't be an ass, even though you have a right to be... you

stand a very good chance of getting back the person you

knew before all of this hell.

Alcoholics are the worst because the shit is legal and is apart of our culture......I watched Louis Theroux's doco on alcoholics and it was pretty upsetting, makes me want to quit working at a bar.

I think it's important when he comes back that you give him space and be very firm with him and make sure he knows things have changed and boundaries have been put in place, you need to be firm in his resolve because he will be looking for excuses or chinks in your armour..

You've enabled him for quite a while and in no way am I blaming you nor do you need to blame yourself I'm pretty sure you know he's responsible to get better, but you also need to reprogram yourself into not enabling him, it's hard but if you put in a little effort you both will get there