AQUARIUS BF NEEDS SPACE.. HEELLLPP

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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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Sooo I have been with my aqua bf for about 2 and a half years.. we broke up for a couple months but got back together. Its been 3 months since then and now he suddenly needs "space". When it first happened, me being a leo i was dramatic and overeacted calling him non stop, crying, the LOT (only because during our first year of dating he cheated on me and used the same excuse so I assumed this time was like the last time). Any who after thinking it through and reading alot of these posts i kinda understood what he was going through.. He is saying that he is confused about the relationship and feels like he is in limbo and just needs to figure out what he is feeling.. he always apologises about the whole thing and is still sweet and caring and we still consider each other best friends.. but still needs space from the relationship! Now i am just worried he might not figure it out or might enjoy his space and never come back, if i knew he is gonna get through it id wait no matter how long it takes but I'm just scared of waiting then having him end things for good. What are the chances of aquarius men coming back from this and what is the best way i can handle it in his eyes!? HELLPP as a leo I'm going crazy but I'm just trying to keep it together for his sake
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Eleventh
@The_eleventh_sign_11
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I remember when i took my dog to the park for the first time and I took her off the leash we were on the far side of the park away from a busy road and the first thing the little bitch did when she was released was run for the road where all the cars were and instinctively I bolted for for her crying her name but the more I ran the more excited she got so I did some quick thinking and just as she was reaching the road I turned the opposite way and started running and calling her name and she turned back instantly and chased me and I managed to get the leash on her and we're still together till this day....maybe it will work for you.

Aquarians NEED time alone to process and decompress but mainly its to reflect on the good times and forget bad memories, Aquarians get over disputes easily given enough time but usually after a good sleep we find it hard to be cranky. Being around someone who constantly requires your love and attention is trying for an Aqua and even though we can appear calm on the surface our blood can get acidic......But when we need that alone time to refresh ourselves and get a broader view of the bigger picture and needy ppl constantly call and go cray on our doorsteps its another reminder why its so much easier for us to walk away. Personally I don't make apologies for having my space especially when I'm with someone who can't look beyond their own ego and needs to see that having guilt free alone time to myself to me is exactly what an Epipen is to someone who has a food allergy who just ate shellfish.

You also said being a typical Leo you over reacted with the crying.........good start and should not be over looked because you just had a look at yourself and had just begun to get real and a lot of people can't fathom being true to themselves first before they can even begin to have a good relationship......Keep asking yourself questions, the harder the questions are to answer or ask the better they are and the closer you get to seeing the truth of the whole situation..anyways this has been an Oprah, Dr phil and Cesar millan session
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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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Thanks guys .. I understand the whole the more I chase the more he will run.. So I have backed off a lot, I just know during his "space" he will see other people which is bothering me the most. Also I didn't talk to him for an entire day.. Trying to give him space and he got mad as if I had just randomly done this and was ignoring him which is quite common with him so my next question is.. Is no contact still the best way to go—
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
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I think this is pretty typical of a Leo woman/Aqua man relationship in the beginning. Mine was the same, and that phase lasted for a pretty long time. The downside is that eventually, you realize that you have to stuff a lot of emotions to keep the relationship on track, if you want to keep it. The plus side is that your Aqua will make you learn to put those reactions in the right context and you'll eventually learn to avoid drama, which is a huge positive.

The guys here are right on. Leave him to himself. He'll come back or he won't. I kept pushing, which only made things worse to the point that I broke up with him because the whole thing was getting old. I went completely no contact. 3 months later he came back, completely committed. We haven't had any of that push/pull since.
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thisismylife2015
@thisismylife2015
10 Years

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Posted by DonJohnson
GO NO CONTACT


You can never chase someone back. You have to understand this. Even if you beg and plea, when they come back they will leave again. and during their stay they barely see you as a human being.

it's just simple psychology. especially as a female. you can not beg and plea. reverses the nature of your relationship with a man. you become the suitor.
THIS ^^^^^^^

It took me an extremely long time to realize this is what's best when a man you're involved with wants to break up or needs "space". It's hard because you do care and that person was such a big part of your life that you'll find yourself just wanting to reach out for simple things. But don't do It! I've regretted it every time I've reached out first after. Take this time to really think if you want to stay with someone that has the potential to cheat on you again....especially if that's the first thing you went to when he needed space. You deserve better, and even though starting over is hard, it's better than being with someone you don't trust. Best of luck to you!
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Firefly
@MoonshineLeo
10 Years1,000+ PostsLeo

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okay im a leo female and my bestfriend is an aqua MALE. We have been bestfriends since were 13 years old, we grew up across the street from eachother so we were together alotttt so i know him like the back of my hand and he would do anything to be with me as we are in our 20's now. Let me tell u as a fellow leo i know how u are feeling when u "freak out" and u wanna know answers NOW, u dont wanna wait or waste ur time i get that. But understand that an aqua is the exact opposite of you. they like their space, they like for things to be light and fun and are super aloof. thats just how they are. If he cares about you and i know he does know that he is not going to go anywhere. Even if for some reason he decides to break up he wont ever leave your life and u will always have a special place in his heart. My bff dated a leo in high school and he LOVED her to the moon and back and would do anything for her. He tried very hard to get her back when she moved on but it was too late. Till this day he always compares girls to her and says no one will ever be like her 😢( your aqua cares he does but let him breath let him do his own thing, he will come back. As far as the cheating goes i have heard of aquas cheating on leos before but if you give them hell about it they wont do it again. Dont be scared to be tough with him. My bff aqua loves that i put him in his place sometimes. Goodluck leooo
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Shyleo21
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11 YearsLeo

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Yes I know you're all right .. I just put so much effort into this relationship especially since we'd already broken up before that I didn't see this coming and it kinda blindsided me. Anyway found out through mutual friends that we out and met someone so maybe this isn't just about space. He tells me I'm the best thing that ever happened to him and that he loves me so I just don't understand
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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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Posted by sultrykitty
I think this is pretty typical of a Leo woman/Aqua man relationship in the beginning. Mine was the same, and that phase lasted for a pretty long time. The downside is that eventually, you realize that you have to stuff a lot of emotions to keep the relationship on track, if you want to keep it. The plus side is that your Aqua will make you learn to put those reactions in the right context and you'll eventually learn to avoid drama, which is a huge positive.

The guys here are right on. Leave him to himself. He'll come back or he won't. I kept pushing, which only made things worse to the point that I broke up with him because the whole thing was getting old. I went completely no contact. 3 months later he came back, completely committed. We haven't had any of that push/pull since.

^^^ did you ever go through anything like this? Where he needed space to see other people? He says he sees himself marrying me but feels like we met too soon because he hasn't "lived yet". Realistically I am 21 and he is only 23 so I don't and didn't see us getting to the age of marriage without mishaps like these where he would feel trapped or that he has committed too soon but I guess I just want to know the best way of getting through it and also when he did come back how it was? Thanks in advance!
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
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You have to let it go and really mean it. My Aqua had this 6th sense about me, like he KNEW how much I wanted a relationship and would play around with that. We met at 19 and the back and forth, "I really like you but I'm not ready" schtick went on for 10 years.

I can't count how many fights we had or how many times we broke up and still, neither one of us could stay away. During a pseudo "break", he got another girl pregnant. She had his daughter. Things got real for him, but our relationship was still messy, if not moreso with a baby in the picture. He still was playing games with me and at the ten year mark, I'd had enough. I was just done and over it.

3 months later he called out of the blue. If I hadn't been vulnerable due to a family tragedy (literally the week he called), I would have refused to see him. But he stepped up and did a complete 180. Told me he loved me and always had, that I was the only woman who could ever understand him, included me in his daughter's life, and since then, I've never had a reason not to trust him.

Only recently he told me (when I asked why he always ran and pushed me away) that his feelings were too intense for me at that time, and he couldn't accept that he was that into someone. He wasn't ready for all that commitment and closeness. He didn't think that he would be able to be as good to me as I deserved. He was right, and even now we have issues with intimacy and what each of us expects from a relationship.

Like I said, there are a lot of compromises you have to make to make it work. I've had to really subdue my instinctive reactions to things he does that don't make any sense to me. I've had to realign my thinking in terms of what a relationship looks like. He's incredibly stubborn, and so am I, but usually it's me that backs down and lets him have it his way. I can't say there isn't someone better for a leo woman, but we do at least understand each other very well. Better than most, I think:🙂
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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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Posted by sultrykitty
You have to let it go and really mean it. My Aqua had this 6th sense about me, like he KNEW how much I wanted a relationship and would play around with that. We met at 19 and the back and forth, "I really like you but I'm not ready" schtick went on for 10 years.

I can't count how many fights we had or how many times we broke up and still, neither one of us could stay away. During a pseudo "break", he got another girl pregnant. She had his daughter. Things got real for him, but our relationship was still messy, if not moreso with a baby in the picture. He still was playing games with me and at the ten year mark, I'd had enough. I was just done and over it.

3 months later he called out of the blue. If I hadn't been vulnerable due to a family tragedy (literally the week he called), I would have refused to see him. But he stepped up and did a complete 180. Told me he loved me and always had, that I was the only woman who could ever understand him, included me in his daughter's life, and since then, I've never had a reason not to trust him.

Only recently he told me (when I asked why he always ran and pushed me away) that his feelings were too intense for me at that time, and he couldn't accept that he was that into someone. He wasn't ready for all that commitment and closeness. He didn't think that he would be able to be as good to me as I deserved. He was right, and even now we have issues with intimacy and what each of us expects from a relationship.

Like I said, there are a lot of compromises you have to make to make it work. I've had to really subdue my instinctive reactions to things he does that don't make any sense to me. I've had to realign my thinking in terms of what a relationship looks like. He's incredibly stubborn, and so am I, but usually it's me that backs down and lets him have it his way. I can't say there isn't someone better for a leo woman, but we do at least understand each other very well. Better than most, I think:🙂
I totally agree with everything you wrote. I feel like he does have a sixth sense.. When we broke up a few months ago it was me who broke up with him and during the break up he would beg and beg for us to work it out and he'd say things I'd never heard him say before.. I'd stopped trying and I just didn't want to be with him. This went on for a
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Shyleo21
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11 YearsLeo

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I totally agree with everything you wrote. I feel like he does have a sixth sense.. When we broke up a few months ago it was me who broke up with him and during the break up he would beg and beg for us to work it out and he'd say things I'd never heard him say before.. I'd stopped trying and I just didn't want to be with him. This went on for about 3 months. And now that we're back together I've given him a few signs that I'm in it for the long run etc as a way of earning his trust and bam.. Needs space. That's the only explanation I have for it, he only really cares when I don't care as much. Which sucks for me because I want to be able to show my love for the person I'm with and make them feel loved... But he takes advantage of that

Thanks so much for your response!! It's given me a much better insight on what may be going through his head
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Magenta_Azure
@Magenta_Azure
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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He cheated on you n now he's emotionally abusing you by taking time out to probably fuck other people. Imma tell you like I'd tell one if my girls: leave his sorry, shallow, disloyal, community dick ass where he stands n go get you a real nigga. PERIOD.


Do you think he's stressing about you the way you're stressing about him? NOPE. He is probably texting your homegirl trying to fuck.

Don't waste you time or put your life on hold for some guy that doesn't even care about you enough to keep his dick to himself. It doesn't matter what you did or what you've done, he made a choice and it wasn't you. Now make a choice n don't let it be him. Choose love, choose depth, choose hapiness, choose loyalty, and most importantly: CHOOSE YOU.

You can ignore the advice if you want you but once you're done checking you phone for text messages he didn't and hoping for answers he will never give you'll realize the emotional trauma and heartbreak isn't worth it.
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
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Posted by Shyleo21
I totally agree with everything you wrote. I feel like he does have a sixth sense.. When we broke up a few months ago it was me who broke up with him and during the break up he would beg and beg for us to work it out and he'd say things I'd never heard him say before.. I'd stopped trying and I just didn't want to be with him. This went on for about 3 months. And now that we're back together I've given him a few signs that I'm in it for the long run etc as a way of earning his trust and bam.. Needs space. That's the only explanation I have for it, he only really cares when I don't care as much. Which sucks for me because I want to be able to show my love for the person I'm with and make them feel loved... But he takes advantage of that

Thanks so much for your response!! It's given me a much better insight on what may be going through his head
Really, you're being manipulated. Agenta Magure is right. Let go. You will need to stop being codependent and needy if you ever hope to make it work. And you'll probably have to be that way throughout your relationship with him. If YOU don't trust him, you need to listen to your intuition and stay away. Don't play the game; you'll lose every time. If he steps up, he'll do it on his terms, and you need to be able to detach and be independent. If you do that, it won't matter if he comes back or not, you'll be stronger for it. If he's changed, it will be obvious, and his actions will make it clear to you if he's serious.

Best of luck to you.
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Shyleo21
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11 YearsLeo

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I agree.. This is how I always am, I freak out and get emotional when it first happens but after a week or so my ego kicks in and I remember who I am and come to terms with everything. Right now I do not see myself with him at all because there is no trust, pictures that made me cry or smile a couple of days ago now revolt me and contrary to what Magenta said I am not waiting for a text or message.... I am really hoping he doesn't contact me because I feel more at peace this way. Not saying that I'm the love has just disappeared or that I'm not hurting.. I am but I feel hopeful and stronger and there is no way in heelllll i will continue to let him ruin my day when we are not even talking. I know I deserve better, Im only 21! Thanks for all your advice guys! I feel a lot better
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by AquaMermaid
No one can make an Aquarius commit if they don't want to. No amount of tricks,manipulation,drama,crying and begging will make any difference.Infact the more you push for it, the more it will repulse him.If you're constantly worried that he might end things with you then what kind of relationship do you think you have with him? What if he commits? Do you think you'll ever trust him enough to be alone without assuming the worst? Don't you think that the trust is gone? If he has cheated on you once, why do you want to take him back? It's very simple, if he doesn't want you, he doesn't want you. You can't be torturing yourself sitting at the edge of your seat waiting for him to return. Respect yourself, only then he'll respect you. In my personal opinion you should dump this guy, get your self -esteem back and date someone who meets your needs and desires. And if you enjoy going in circles then it's completely your choice.
this.

Now i dont know about the men,

but for me, if i dont feel a connection, it's NOT going anywhere.

it sucks, but that's just how it is. I realize that people are attracted to some Aquarius individuals, (sun, moon, rising whatever) but if they're not feeling it, or have that connection. it's NOT going anywhere.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by sultrykitty
You have to let it go and really mean it. My Aqua had this 6th sense about me, like he KNEW how much I wanted a relationship and would play around with that. We met at 19 and the back and forth, "I really like you but I'm not ready" schtick went on for 10 years.

I can't count how many fights we had or how many times we broke up and still, neither one of us could stay away. During a pseudo "break", he got another girl pregnant. She had his daughter. Things got real for him, but our relationship was still messy, if not moreso with a baby in the picture. He still was playing games with me and at the ten year mark, I'd had enough. I was just done and over it.

3 months later he called out of the blue. If I hadn't been vulnerable due to a family tragedy (literally the week he called), I would have refused to see him. But he stepped up and did a complete 180. Told me he loved me and always had, that I was the only woman who could ever understand him, included me in his daughter's life, and since then, I've never had a reason not to trust him.

Only recently he told me (when I asked why he always ran and pushed me away) that his feelings were too intense for me at that time, and he couldn't accept that he was that into someone. He wasn't ready for all that commitment and closeness. He didn't think that he would be able to be as good to me as I deserved. He was right, and even now we have issues with intimacy and what each of us expects from a relationship.

Like I said, there are a lot of compromises you have to make to make it work. I've had to really subdue my instinctive reactions to things he does that don't make any sense to me. I've had to realign my thinking in terms of what a relationship looks like. He's incredibly stubborn, and so am I, but usually it's me that backs down and lets him have it his way. I can't say there isn't someone better for a leo woman, but we do at least understand each other very well. Better than most, I think:🙂
that "playing around" because he knew you wanted a relationshp SO BAD, is really terrible!!!! he should have cut it off immediately.

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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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well, glad it worked out, sultrykitty.

Posted by starlover
I was with(?) two aqua guys and had a few aqua female friends

They are more into friendship than intimacy. I wouldnt ever question this if i was you. I know a few Aquas who are single and happy. They are quite the independent, and free spirited souls. If you are going to stay with one then expect the unexpected. The 11th house rules groups of people...not one to ones

Both the guys I was with I never felt they were quite with me in a romantic sense, even though they both loved me. They both needed lots of space.....far too much for me

If you want lovely dovey attentive full on stuff, you will probably be left disappointed by an aqua but they make very interesting friends




well, star, you had to have attracted them because you yourself have aquarius in your chart or 11th house. I mean, honestly, people don't gravitate to eachother romantically if there wasn't any similar chart energies.

maybe the aqua guys you were with had 7th house, or libra personal planets, because you have a packed 7th house yourself.
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Shyleo21
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11 YearsLeo

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So I kinda feel like I screwed the pooch. I haven't been talking to him and hadn't replied to any of his messages. He called me numerous and I didn't answer then he sent a text saying "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by ignoring me but okay I'll leave you to it" I then replied saying I'm worth more than waiting on standby for someone etc etc (kinda ending it) he then changed all his passwords.. During this "space" period he hadn't changed them so I think maybe my response was an over reaction again.. Although he had been talking to other people while he was out clubbing it hadnt gone any further than that. Have I just pushed him away more?
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
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Posted by Shyleo21
So I kinda feel like I screwed the pooch. I haven't been talking to him and hadn't replied to any of his messages. He called me numerous and I didn't answer then he sent a text saying "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by ignoring me but okay I'll leave you to it" I then replied saying I'm worth more than waiting on standby for someone etc etc (kinda ending it) he then changed all his passwords.. During this "space" period he hadn't changed them so I think maybe my response was an over reaction again.. Although he had been talking to other people while he was out clubbing it hadnt gone any further than that. Have I just pushed him away more?
This is actually a good thing. Now you CAN'T contact him. Just focus on you and your life. Don't do the drive by's or contact his friends. Leave it be. He's still playing games to try to get a reaction from you. Enjoy your life, go do thigs and have FUN. Now it's time for him to come to you, if he wants to.

Really, this is good for you, regardless of whether he's in your life or not.
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Magenta_Azure
@Magenta_Azure
17 Years1,000+ PostsPisces

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Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by Shyleo21
I totally agree with everything you wrote. I feel like he does have a sixth sense.. When we broke up a few months ago it was me who broke up with him and during the break up he would beg and beg for us to work it out and he'd say things I'd never heard him say before.. I'd stopped trying and I just didn't want to be with him. This went on for about 3 months. And now that we're back together I've given him a few signs that I'm in it for the long run etc as a way of earning his trust and bam.. Needs space. That's the only explanation I have for it, he only really cares when I don't care as much. Which sucks for me because I want to be able to show my love for the person I'm with and make them feel loved... But he takes advantage of that

Thanks so much for your response!! It's given me a much better insight on what may be going through his head
Agenta Magure
click to expand

So disrespectful.

😐
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
10 Years5,000+ Posts

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, lol. I'm a bit dyslexic. No offense intended...


Posted by Magenta_Azure
Posted by sultrykitty
Posted by Shyleo21
I totally agree with everything you wrote. I feel like he does have a sixth sense.. When we broke up a few months ago it was me who broke up with him and during the break up he would beg and beg for us to work it out and he'd say things I'd never heard him say before.. I'd stopped trying and I just didn't want to be with him. This went on for about 3 months. And now that we're back together I've given him a few signs that I'm in it for the long run etc as a way of earning his trust and bam.. Needs space. That's the only explanation I have for it, he only really cares when I don't care as much. Which sucks for me because I want to be able to show my love for the person I'm with and make them feel loved... But he takes advantage of that

Thanks so much for your response!! It's given me a much better insight on what may be going through his head
Agenta Magure
So disrespectful.

😐
click to expand


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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

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Posted by starlover
Posted by lisabethur8
well, glad it worked out, sultrykitty.

Posted by starlover
I was with(?) two aqua guys and had a few aqua female friends

They are more into friendship than intimacy. I wouldnt ever question this if i was you. I know a few Aquas who are single and happy. They are quite the independent, and free spirited souls. If you are going to stay with one then expect the unexpected. The 11th house rules groups of people...not one to ones

Both the guys I was with I never felt they were quite with me in a romantic sense, even though they both loved me. They both needed lots of space.....far too much for me

If you want lovely dovey attentive full on stuff, you will probably be left disappointed by an aqua but they make very interesting friends




well, star, you had to have attracted them because you yourself have aquarius in your chart or 11th house. I mean, honestly, people don't gravitate to eachother romantically if there wasn't any similar chart energies.

maybe the aqua guys you were with had 7th house, or libra personal planets, because you have a packed 7th house yourself.
I have chiron in the 12th in aqua lisa...interesting hey? I know i attracted these men because i was raised by an emotionally *distant* father (strong uranus in his chart). It was learned behaviour which i needed to unlearn and heal and i have now.....all part of the school of life :-)). Been there, done that, wore the men


lol
click to expand

Aw. well there are Air sun men with lots of water too you know. My Aries sister is married to one. He's got Cancer Mars/Pisces moon and i believe Cancer Jupiter and he's got Virgo Venus with Virgo mercury. So earthy and watery. And he is into commitment and he had a hard time lettng go of his ex who was an addictive /drug addict and left their baby to him, because she couldn't do it. He was the one raising him alone, of course help from grandparents too, until my sister came along.
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truecap
@truecap
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Posted by Shyleo21
So I kinda feel like I screwed the pooch. I haven't been talking to him and hadn't replied to any of his messages. He called me numerous and I didn't answer then he sent a text saying "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by ignoring me but okay I'll leave you to it" I then replied saying I'm worth more than waiting on standby for someone etc etc (kinda ending it) he then changed all his passwords.. During this "space" period he hadn't changed them so I think maybe my response was an over reaction again.. Although he had been talking to other people while he was out clubbing it hadnt gone any further than that. Have I just pushed him away more?
If you actually want a relationship with him, I really don't think flat out ignoring him is the way to go. Respond in your own time, but do respond. Be friendly, but you don't have to make plans with him or hook up with him. Just keep doing your own thing. Be busy. Have a life. Have so many things going on that you actually don't have time to make plans with him. For real. Not fake. You actually have to have other plans otherwise he'll see through it.

It seems like you're just playing a game to get his attention. That will be the thing that causes him to move on permanently.

And to answer your original question....
If I ask for space, that means I'm already in the process of moving on. Just trying not to hurt your feelings or trying to avoid a big teary eyed emotional meltdown from the other person. It's an easy way to step out of a relationship without having to deal with the after effects.

- signed,
aquarius mars.
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MadMarchRam
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Posted by Shyleo21
Thanks guys .. I understand the whole the more I chase the more he will run.. So I have backed off a lot, I just know during his "space" he will see other people which is bothering me the most. Also I didn't talk to him for an entire day.. Trying to give him space and he got mad as if I had just randomly done this and was ignoring him which is quite common with him so my next question is.. Is no contact still the best way to go—
Yes!
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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

Comments: 0 · Posts: 35 · Topics: 5
Posted by truecap
Posted by Shyleo21
So I kinda feel like I screwed the pooch. I haven't been talking to him and hadn't replied to any of his messages. He called me numerous and I didn't answer then he sent a text saying "I don't know what you're trying to achieve by ignoring me but okay I'll leave you to it" I then replied saying I'm worth more than waiting on standby for someone etc etc (kinda ending it) he then changed all his passwords.. During this "space" period he hadn't changed them so I think maybe my response was an over reaction again.. Although he had been talking to other people while he was out clubbing it hadnt gone any further than that. Have I just pushed him away more?
If you actually want a relationship with him, I really don't think flat out ignoring him is the way to go. Respond in your own time, but do respond. Be friendly, but you don't have to make plans with him or hook up with him. Just keep doing your own thing. Be busy. Have a life. Have so many things going on that you actually don't have time to make plans with him. For real. Not fake. You actually have to have other plans otherwise he'll see through it.

It seems like you're just playing a game to get his attention. That will be the thing that causes him to move on permanently.

And to answer your original question....
If I ask for space, that means I'm already in the process of moving on. Just trying not to hurt your feelings or trying to avoid a big teary eyed emotional meltdown from the other person. It's an easy way to step out of a relationship without having to deal with the after effects.

- signed,
aquarius mars.
click to expand

I think you are right but I also think its a bit too far gone.. With our history its hard to be friendly especially since I haven't done anything to deserve this. I know he was happy with me and that he does love me but I guess he just feels he is too young and hasn't experienced enough. When he initially asked for space he asked me my opinion on threesomes (which he has asked me throughout the relationship but I always said no). So thats why I think his decision is mostly based on being him young. I know he is talking to and seeing other people and I don't feel like I owe him any friendliness or conversat
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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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tried to be as understanding as I could.. at some point I actually thought I was getting somewhere but I can't be friendly and accepting knowing that he talking and hooking up with other people after what we've been through, and he knows that. Which is why I decided to stop all contact. When I broke up with him late last year I only started missing him when he stopped talking to me.. and hopefully it'll be the same of him. No matter how much I tried to convince myself that I was happy without him or moving on, I just couldn't stop thinking about him. Maybe it was the guilt of ignoring his pleas to get back together, I don't know but if I could miss him after all he did to me then surely he will think of me who has done nothing to him
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
10 Years5,000+ Posts

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I was in your shoes, shyleo. That's why it toook me 10 years to finally say to him that enough was enough. And I truly meant it. I.had just given up, and told him we were too old ro be doing what we were doing. I told him I still cared for him, but I was done. I suggested that maybe we try to connect again in the future, and if there was still something there, that we could talk about it then.

It wasn't an emotional breakup; I had none left. It was just over. And he knew it too. I guess during those 3 months we were apart he really had to seriously think about what my leaving would mean fir him. Meanwhile I honestly wasn't giving it any thought.

I don't think you're there yet.
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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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Yes definitely still some emotion here. I just feel like whether I am friendly to him or not Ill still lose so better to do the one that will cause me less pain in the future. When this happened before I still talked to him and hung out with him and he did come back a couple of weeks later however we went through ALOT and he was just terrible to me, to the point where i broke up with him. So if he comes back now then great, if he doesn't then at least I'll be on my way to moving on
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sultrykitty
@sultrykitty
10 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 1 · Posts: 6172 · Topics: 7
And I will add that although he did come back and I have been with him now for almost 30 years, I sometimes wish I had made a different decision. I've had to compromise a lot of myself to be with him, and he has done the same. I think we might have been happier finding people who more naturally fit with us. Not physically or chemistry-wise (which was never the issue), but in simple ways. The way we communicate, the priorities we have in life, our goals, and what's important to us in the long term.

Be really, really sure that those things align before investing any more of your emotions into this relationship. I thought they did, but I was only just out of my twenties, and my thoughts were heavily influenced by my feelings and the history that had already built up by then.

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Shyleo21
@Shyleo21
11 YearsLeo

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Thanks a lot sultry kitty, your insight has helped a lot and I'm happy that it worked out for you in the end. Its weird because i can relate to almost everything you're saying.. including the communication goals and whats important in the future, Ive even had conversations with him about those things but of course not much change. I just find it hard to understand when he says he admires and envys me but can so easily just turn his back on me. Anyway too late to go back now! I'm just going to have to wait it out and see what happens; hopefully i'll end up feeling better not worse
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Catgirlpk
@Catgirlpk
7 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 143 · Topics: 9
Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
I remember when i took my dog to the park for the first time and I took her off the leash we were on the far side of the park away from a busy road and the first thing the little bitch did when she was released was run for the road where all the cars were and instinctively I bolted for for her crying her name but the more I ran the more excited she got so I did some quick thinking and just as she was reaching the road I turned the opposite way and started running and calling her name and she turned back instantly and chased me and I managed to get the leash on her and we're still together till this day....maybe it will work for you.

Aquarians NEED time alone to process and decompress but mainly its to reflect on the good times and forget bad memories, Aquarians get over disputes easily given enough time but usually after a good sleep we find it hard to be cranky. Being around someone who constantly requires your love and attention is trying for an Aqua and even though we can appear calm on the surface our blood can get acidic......But when we need that alone time to refresh ourselves and get a broader view of the bigger picture and needy ppl constantly call and go cray on our doorsteps its another reminder why its so much easier for us to walk away. Personally I don't make apologies for having my space especially when I'm with someone who can't look beyond their own ego and needs to see that having guilt free alone time to myself to me is exactly what an Epipen is to someone who has a food allergy who just ate shellfish.

You also said being a typical Leo you over reacted with the crying.........good start and should not be over looked because you just had a look at yourself and had just begun to get real and a lot of people can't fathom being true to themselves first before they can even begin to have a good relationship......Keep asking yourself questions, the harder the questions are to answer or ask the better they are and the closer you get to seeing the truth of the whole situation..anyways this has been an Oprah, Dr phil and Cesar millan session

The first para was the best indirect quote ever. Thanks. You hv been on this forum helping others a lot.
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swagnotforsale
@swagnotforsale
7 Years

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Posted by Shyleo21
Sooo I have been with my aqua bf for about 2 and a half years.. we broke up for a couple months but got back together. Its been 3 months since then and now he suddenly needs "space". When it first happened, me being a leo i was dramatic and overeacted calling him non stop, crying, the LOT (only because during our first year of dating he cheated on me and used the same excuse so I assumed this time was like the last time). Any who after thinking it through and reading alot of these posts i kinda understood what he was going through.. He is saying that he is confused about the relationship and feels like he is in limbo and just needs to figure out what he is feeling.. he always apologises about the whole thing and is still sweet and caring and we still consider each other best friends.. but still needs space from the relationship! Now i am just worried he might not figure it out or might enjoy his space and never come back, if i knew he is gonna get through it id wait no matter how long it takes but I'm just scared of waiting then having him end things for good. What are the chances of aquarius men coming back from this and what is the best way i can handle it in his eyes!? HELLPP as a leo I'm going crazy but I'm just trying to keep it together for his sake
Why would u take someone back who cheated on u in the past? R u crazy? 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️