Confused over an Aquarian dude

Hi everyone...

I was hoping for some impartial advice here.

I was seeing an Aquarian guy (Moon in Leo, Venus in Pisces) for about 3 and a half months. We had a small argument around our third week because he thought I was trying to tie him down and I was quick to let him know that it wasn't the case. He said he didn't wanna chat or talk everyday and I said that it was ok, as long as it didn't mean he was going off me. Since the argument, I've been very careful not to force him into anything or to encroach on his space. Since that small argument, we became closer and I thought all was going well until a few days ago he ended it with me. I had been really quiet with him because of family problems and he knows about them. He always asks me if I'm ok and I say yes and he doesn't believe me. I later explained to him that sometimes I'm not sure myself and I can be quite in my head space at times, but I liked him. He introduced me to his parents and they really like me. I playfully asked if he loved and he shocked me by saying yes and I asked him again and assured him he didn't have to say yes and he said but that's how he felt. He spoke about having kids and I explained to him that I had a small fear because of my upbringing but that it wasn't out of the question.

I know we needed to talk because it seemed like whenever we spent time together we just did that without really communicating much. I thought he was happy with it and that it was only me who had an issue, but seeing as my mum is sick, I thought I would leave it for a while and see how it went. I also found he wasn't very open minded to trying things I liked and we always did things he liked. After we ended it he said he didn't realise/couldn't remember he had said no to coming to take pictures with me and keeps saying we should do more things together that I like. He confuses me because I don't really understand why he ended it. He just told me that after contemplating it for the past few weeks, he didn't really like me that much, which makes no sense to me, because he had been asking to spend more time with me. He says he loves me but only as a friend and he doesn't see us married with kids, but he has yet to pinpoint why. He keeps saying he misses me and wants to spend time with me. We organised our next meeting within the same conversation of ending it. I couldn't see him the day after and he told me he really missed me that day. He texted me on Saturday morning at 4am saying he couldn't sleep and he had been thinking about the things I had said to him on Friday night.

I'm really confused and I'm not sure what to do. He's back on a dating website and said he's chatting to one girl he doesn't like and asked to see what msgs I'm getting, because I said I'm back on there, but only because I need distraction.

I know Aquarians are famed for their friendships and detachedness, but I have come across many Aquarians and none of them are like this. My friends were all really surprised including the Aquarians and said that maybe I had been too in my own world for the past couple of weeks and he didn't know what else to do, but this guy has been given ample opportunity to take his words back and he seems keen to carry on. I know I've pointed out flaws in both of us and with the relationship but I've also made it clear that I like him a lot and that I'm very upset about the break up. He said that he feels we have a healthier relationship now, but I said that's more because we've cleared the air and had a conversation rather than because we've broken up.

I don't know if I'm just a gap filler or if he wants genuine friendship. I don't know if he regrets or will regret the break up, but he seems to want to carry on seeing me and isn't asking for space. Although, it may change in the blink of an eye, now that he has a new guitar and a new job to distract him. Will he drop me like a brick when he gets a new love interest. I would be grateful for some insight.

I'm a Pisces, Moon in Virgo, Venus in Pisces

Also, I would like to add that he came onto me again the time after we saw each other after the break up. (We ended things on Wednesday and saw each other on Friday)

Girl he doesnt like my ass lol.

I'm not sure I understand what that means

Posted by DMV
Girl he doesnt like my ass lol.

oh that's why you are pissed off.

That is a lot for a almost-four-month relationship. I don't understand why the first discussion about relationship intentions had to be an argument. :/ Perhaps there is a problem in communication? I think you are at that crossroad where you can either choose to end it or to continue, it is up to you. Are you happy? Does this relationship bring you joy? If the honest answer is 'no,' then perhaps it is best for you to move on.

I suppose it wasn't so much an argument more like a heated discussion. He was hungover/still drunk at the time when we chatted on whatsapp about it and then we were seeing each other the day after and we talked it out and it was fine. We both came out agreeing to take it slow.

Well he's ended it but seems really keen on friendship to the point where it's a continuation of our dating days. We are doing stuff like we would do before. I don't know what's going. He keeps missing me.

Posted by mooconfusion
I suppose it wasn't so much an argument more like a heated discussion. He was hungover/still drunk at the time when we chatted on whatsapp about it and then we were seeing each other the day after and we talked it out and it was fine. We both came out agreeing to take it slow.

Communicating online is hard enough to be understood, let alone doing it drunk via text. My only advice is to restrict talk about important matters to face-to-face.

Maybe he's hoping for a FWB situation with you? If he isn't fulfilling what you are looking for, I would move on. It is nothing against him, just that I wouldn't have interest in being in a state of confusion or of wanting more.

Posted by LillyPetal

Posted by mooconfusion
I suppose it wasn't so much an argument more like a heated discussion. He was hungover/still drunk at the time when we chatted on whatsapp about it and then we were seeing each other the day after and we talked it out and it was fine. We both came out agreeing to take it slow.

Communicating online is hard enough to be understood, let alone doing it drunk via text. My only advice is to restrict talk about important matters to face-to-face.

click to expand

I didn't plan on it but he just 'lost it' and was like "I'm not your bf yet, you have to understand that" and it wasn't even a big deal. He just insisted I was acting weird cz he hadn't contacted me for a day, but in reality it was all in his head because of his clingy ex and the fact that he was cranky.

If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I was hoping someone could shed some light on what he might be thinking, because I've said I don't want to sleep with him, but he keeps saying he's worried I never want to see him again. He barely keeps his touch with friends as is, but why does he miss me so much?

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

click to expand

Sometimes. If they love you, they will be upset with you for awhile and then get back together. However, if you do something to hurt them very much, they won't forgive and forget.

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

Sometimes. If they love you, they will be upset with you for awhile and then get back together. However, if you do something to hurt them very much, they won't forgive and forget.

click to expand

Do you think I might have upset him when he broke up with me because I was quite critical of him? It must be my Virgo moon, but I was trying to be direct and I always told him that I liked him in spite of everything. Truth is, I want to know he misses me for real and not because he's bored this week because he's had a week off. Something just doesn't make sense to me and I don't know whether to keep seeing him or to keep my distance. He initiates everything and I'm worried if I disappear like a Pisces for a while, he will forget me entirely.

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by LillyPetal

Posted by mooconfusion
I suppose it wasn't so much an argument more like a heated discussion. He was hungover/still drunk at the time when we chatted on whatsapp about it and then we were seeing each other the day after and we talked it out and it was fine. We both came out agreeing to take it slow.

Communicating online is hard enough to be understood, let alone doing it drunk via text. My only advice is to restrict talk about important matters to face-to-face.

I didn't plan on it but he just 'lost it' and was like "I'm not your bf yet, you have to understand that" and it wasn't even a big deal. He just insisted I was acting weird cz he hadn't contacted me for a day, but in reality it was all in his head because of his clingy ex and the fact that he was cranky.

click to expand

But that's the exact thing about text. You can't know for sure that he "lost it." It was text. You had nothing to read but the words - no tone, body language, fa coal expression, eyes...just black text.

Posted by LillyPetal

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by LillyPetal

Posted by mooconfusion
I suppose it wasn't so much an argument more like a heated discussion. He was hungover/still drunk at the time when we chatted on whatsapp about it and then we were seeing each other the day after and we talked it out and it was fine. We both came out agreeing to take it slow.

Communicating online is hard enough to be understood, let alone doing it drunk via text. My only advice is to restrict talk about important matters to face-to-face.

I didn't plan on it but he just 'lost it' and was like "I'm not your bf yet, you have to understand that" and it wasn't even a big deal. He just insisted I was acting weird cz he hadn't contacted me for a day, but in reality it was all in his head because of his clingy ex and the fact that he was cranky.

But that's the exact thing about text. You can't know for sure that he "lost it." It was text. You had nothing to read but the words - no tone, body language, fa coal expression, eyes...just black text.

click to expand

Let's just say it seemed pretty apparent at the time that he wasn't happy and he wouldn't let it go. I didn't know he was drunk/hungover at the time or I would have left it.

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

Sometimes. If they love you, they will be upset with you for awhile and then get back together. However, if you do something to hurt them very much, they won't forgive and forget.

Do you think I might have upset him when he broke up with me because I was quite critical of him? It must be my Virgo moon, but I was trying to be direct and I always told him that I liked him in spite of everything. Truth is, I want to know he misses me for real and not because he's bored this week because he's had a week off. Something just doesn't make sense to me and I don't know whether to keep seeing him or to keep my distance. He initiates everything and I'm worried if I disappear like a Pisces for a while, he will forget me entirely.

click to expand

He's not making a serious comitment to you for some reason. I think it's something more than being critical. I don't know why he misses you when he doesn't want to be with you. He sounds selfish

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

Sometimes. If they love you, they will be upset with you for awhile and then get back together. However, if you do something to hurt them very much, they won't forgive and forget.

Do you think I might have upset him when he broke up with me because I was quite critical of him? It must be my Virgo moon, but I was trying to be direct and I always told him that I liked him in spite of everything. Truth is, I want to know he misses me for real and not because he's bored this week because he's had a week off. Something just doesn't make sense to me and I don't know whether to keep seeing him or to keep my distance. He initiates everything and I'm worried if I disappear like a Pisces for a while, he will forget me entirely.

He's not making a serious comitment to you for some reason. I think it's something more than being critical. I don't know why he misses you when he doesn't want to be with you. He sounds selfish

click to expand

Do you think it might do some good if I left him alone for a bit? I'm just worried he might never come back.

I hope you find the help you're choosing to seek on this website. Good luck with everything!

Posted by LillyPetal
I hope you find the help you're choosing to seek on this website. Good luck with everything!

Thanks. Sometimes it's hard to know what you're looking for until you find it.

Posted by lisabethur8

Posted by DMV
Girl he doesnt like my ass lol.

oh that's why you are pissed off.

click to expand

Sorry i dont understand

Posted by mooconfusion
I'm not sure I understand what that means

Sorry, what i meant that he does like that girl. I just feel from your story, that he isnt being forthcoming

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

Sometimes. If they love you, they will be upset with you for awhile and then get back together. However, if you do something to hurt them very much, they won't forgive and forget.

Do you think I might have upset him when he broke up with me because I was quite critical of him? It must be my Virgo moon, but I was trying to be direct and I always told him that I liked him in spite of everything. Truth is, I want to know he misses me for real and not because he's bored this week because he's had a week off. Something just doesn't make sense to me and I don't know whether to keep seeing him or to keep my distance. He initiates everything and I'm worried if I disappear like a Pisces for a while, he will forget me entirely.

He's not making a serious comitment to you for some reason. I think it's something more than being critical. I don't know why he misses you when he doesn't want to be with you. He sounds selfish

Do you think it might do some good if I left him alone for a bit? I'm just worried he might never come back.

click to expand

Actually I think being around and being too easy to get will work against u. Talk to him once in awhile, but be distant, less interested

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by pinkbird03
If you know he's going to drop you like a brick once he finds someone new, don't you think you're a filler? It's not going to end well. But believe me, you'll be happier if you have the upper hand and move on before he does.

I don't know he will drop me like a brick, I just wonder if he will, if it's a typical aquarian thing. It just seem so disjointed.

Sometimes. If they love you, they will be upset with you for awhile and then get back together. However, if you do something to hurt them very much, they won't forgive and forget.

Do you think I might have upset him when he broke up with me because I was quite critical of him? It must be my Virgo moon, but I was trying to be direct and I always told him that I liked him in spite of everything. Truth is, I want to know he misses me for real and not because he's bored this week because he's had a week off. Something just doesn't make sense to me and I don't know whether to keep seeing him or to keep my distance. He initiates everything and I'm worried if I disappear like a Pisces for a while, he will forget me entirely.

He's not making a serious comitment to you for some reason. I think it's something more than being critical. I don't know why he misses you when he doesn't want to be with you. He sounds selfish

Do you think it might do some good if I left him alone for a bit? I'm just worried he might never come back.

Actually I think being around and being too easy to get will work against u. Talk to him once in awhile, but be distant, less interested

click to expand

Thanks, I guess it's about a balancing thing...i.e. not disappearing entirely but not being entirely there either. I'll give that a try. I know it's only a little while, but I had another Aquarian ex when I was much younger and I broke it off with him because he wasn't happy with me but was much to nice to do it himself. He later regretted it but I just didn't like him anymore. We hadn't been in contact in years etc. I just wonder if something similar will happen here.

Posted by DMV

Posted by mooconfusion
I'm not sure I understand what that means

Sorry, what i meant that he does like that girl. I just feel from your story, that he isnt being forthcoming

click to expand

I kinda think that too, but I don't know if I'm just being hopelessly hopeful. It doesn't matter how he feels if he won't show it.

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by DMV

Posted by mooconfusion
I'm not sure I understand what that means

Sorry, what i meant that he does like that girl. I just feel from your story, that he isnt being forthcoming

I kinda think that too, but I don't know if I'm just being hopelessly hopeful. It doesn't matter how he feels if he won't show it.

click to expand

I have zero experience with aqua men. Ever since i read that they like baby talk, ive been turned off

Posted by DMV

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by DMV

Posted by mooconfusion
I'm not sure I understand what that means

Sorry, what i meant that he does like that girl. I just feel from your story, that he isnt being forthcoming

I kinda think that too, but I don't know if I'm just being hopelessly hopeful. It doesn't matter how he feels if he won't show it.

I have zero experience with aqua men. Ever since i read that they like baby talk, ive been turned off

click to expand

I can't say I've ever had that experience with Aquarians...male or female xD

What's your sign?

Posted by pinkbird03
What's your sign?

I am Pisces sun, Moon in Virgo and he is Aquarius sun with Moon in Leo. We both have our Venus and Mars in Pisces and Sag respectively.

Posted by mooconfusion
Hi everyone...

I was hoping for some impartial advice here.

I was seeing an Aquarian guy (Moon in Leo, Venus in Pisces) for about 3 and a half months. We had a small argument around our third week because he thought I was trying to tie him down and I was quick to let him know that it wasn't the case.

He confuses me because I don't really understand why he ended it. He just told me that after contemplating it for the past few weeks, he didn't really like me that much, which makes no sense to me, because he had been asking to spend more time with me. He says he loves me but only as a friend and he doesn't see us married with kids, but he has yet to pinpoint why. He keeps saying he misses me and wants to spend time with me. We organised our next meeting within the same conversation of ending it. I couldn't see him the day after and he told me he really missed me that day. He texted me on Saturday morning at 4am saying he couldn't sleep and he had been thinking about the things I had said to him on Friday night.

He told you point blank that he doesn't see a future with you, but he misses how comfortable and accommodating you are. There is nothing confusing about it. He'll settle for you if he has to, but you arnt "The One". And if he ever meets "The One", you lose. So move on and find someone who will appreciate all you have to give, and take the time to do the things you like.

Posted by Gennie

Posted by mooconfusion
Hi everyone...

I was hoping for some impartial advice here.

I was seeing an Aquarian guy (Moon in Leo, Venus in Pisces) for about 3 and a half months. We had a small argument around our third week because he thought I was trying to tie him down and I was quick to let him know that it wasn't the case.

He confuses me because I don't really understand why he ended it. He just told me that after contemplating it for the past few weeks, he didn't really like me that much, which makes no sense to me, because he had been asking to spend more time with me. He says he loves me but only as a friend and he doesn't see us married with kids, but he has yet to pinpoint why. He keeps saying he misses me and wants to spend time with me. We organised our next meeting within the same conversation of ending it. I couldn't see him the day after and he told me he really missed me that day. He texted me on Saturday morning at 4am saying he couldn't sleep and he had been thinking about the things I had said to him on Friday night.

He told you point blank that he doesn't see a future with you, but he misses how comfortable and accommodating you are. There is nothing confusing about it. He'll settle for you if he has to, but you arnt "The One". And if he ever meets "The One", you lose. So move on and find someone who will appreciate all you have to give, and take the time to do the things you like.

click to expand

Ok I see where you're coming from. If we had broken up and not seen each other for months and he's been single all along and he's lonely etc then I'd understand. Missing me after not seeing me for 24 hours, seems extreme that's all. Nothing happened and I understand nothing has to, but from bringing me to meet his parents and talking about having kids with me in the future to this in about 3 weeks, is just a lot to handle.

Posted by DMV

Posted by mooconfusion

Posted by DMV

Posted by mooconfusion
I'm not sure I understand what that means

Sorry, what i meant that he does like that girl. I just feel from your story, that he isnt being forthcoming

I kinda think that too, but I don't know if I'm just being hopelessly hopeful. It doesn't matter how he feels if he won't show it.

I have zero experience with aqua men. Ever since i read that they like baby talk, ive been turned off

click to expand

LOL, where did you read that?

Mooconfusion, he has no respect for you because you did not earn it. Show some backbone. Also, do not confuse withdrawl symtoms for love. They don't last!

For a start, just play back what he wants to give you, aka friendship. Make clear to him that you can see him as a friend once a month and will take his calls/texts/emails once a week, e.g. at 5.30 pm on Friday, unless he has something very important to say. Ignore any attents to contact you in between.

If after 6 months of "friendship" he still wants to be with you romantically, you could give it a try, but set your own terms and conditions.

Posted by Gennie

Posted by mooconfusion
Hi everyone...

I was hoping for some impartial advice here.

I was seeing an Aquarian guy (Moon in Leo, Venus in Pisces) for about 3 and a half months. We had a small argument around our third week because he thought I was trying to tie him down and I was quick to let him know that it wasn't the case.

He confuses me because I don't really understand why he ended it. He just told me that after contemplating it for the past few weeks, he didn't really like me that much, which makes no sense to me, because he had been asking to spend more time with me. He says he loves me but only as a friend and he doesn't see us married with kids, but he has yet to pinpoint why. He keeps saying he misses me and wants to spend time with me. We organised our next meeting within the same conversation of ending it. I couldn't see him the day after and he told me he really missed me that day. He texted me on Saturday morning at 4am saying he couldn't sleep and he had been thinking about the things I had said to him on Friday night.

He told you point blank that he doesn't see a future with you, but he misses how comfortable and accommodating you are. There is nothing confusing about it. He'll settle for you if he has to, but you arnt "The One". And if he ever meets "The One", you lose. So move on and find someone who will appreciate all you have to give, and take the time to do the things you like.

click to expand

Show me an Aqua guy who knows at the time of dating someone that they are the one. Ten years later, maybe, and then they are genuinely, I mean genuinely, miffed that their dream girl has moved on. Point is, a lot more people could be the ones for an Aqua, but they just can't and not willing to see it. Idealism. I say, cherish the time you have. Don't fret, don't make demands, and text less, talk more in person. Reassure him in a gentle way, not overwhelmingly. Also, yes, I think sometimes they just don't know or remember at all what they are doing in person. They can refuse to even be kissed on the cheek then a day later feel extremely, fatally disappointed (by the relationship) because they weren't seduced and didn't get laid. They just don't see the causal link. That's why one of my Aqua friends says, 'I need a rock'. Someone who is not affected by their constant mood swings and changes of hear and attitude. Plus when they are being selfish pricks on purpose. 🙂 Tbh, an Aqua female friend of mine is very similar in the can't_make_up_my_mind_even_in_ten_years department. Difference is, she is in a relationship with a guy, for ten years now, but she cheated a dozen times. The guy is a very calm and determined and sexy and funny and reliable and brilliant and argumentative, strong Leo, fiercely protective. If he can't be the one for someone, no one can.

I don't know...it sounds like a guy who has no other options, workinggirl, and wants to go back to something that is "safe" and someone who is there, but could give two fucks if there were the "one' coming to take him away. Some men are just lonely fucks.

@workingirl

I'm with Lis on this. I know plenty of Aquas who date, hoping the person is "That One" hence all the testing. Aquas are perfectly capable of being loners, but we do genuinely like relationships. Not every is Aqua is like Sultrykitty's. In fact, I would say her Aqua is the exception and not the rule. People who settle for relationships are found in all signs *cough* VIRGO.

And I have done it once, and decided I'd rather be single with 37 cats. That was my plan until Scorpie came along.

@workingirl

I had an Aquarian ex from a few years back and he told me he didn't find me attractive and that I wasn't his type and then he started acting really off and eventually I just ended it. I stayed away from him and a few years later he comes back, not understanding why he did what he did and insists he doesn't think like that. It's great and all, but I just can't conjure up the same feelings again out of nowhere, because I worked so hard to make them go away. It's fine now, because we are friends and we have both moved on.



My gut is telling me that he got annoyed because I was being quiet and internalising my problems, which he seemed to think had everything to do with him. He still thinks he didn't make me happy and that he treated me badly (his words). And I don't think I helped because whenever he sang that song by White Stripes and one of the lyrics goes "You have no faith in medicine" and I would reply "I have no faith in you" and eventually it got to him, because he would occasionally say "no matter what I say you won't believe me." It felt at the time like we needed to clear the air or something or we needed to get to know each better. He said he loved me twice and I said nothing. Although, he said it didn't bother him. I don't really know, but it's over now I guess. Even though a friend said to me he felt this guy was testing me by ending it and I failed because I listed all the flaws in the relationship and my issues with him, so he stuck to his guns. I've thought about what I want to say/do. I'm going to talk to him next time I see him and tell him we can't carry on seeing each other and talking as if nothing has happened, because I think he's been selfish in some ways and I wouldn't expect that of my friends.