How do I break up with an Aqua

I still love him. I know he loves me too. But he doesn't have time for me anymore. That's the awful truth- whether he believes it or not.

We have dated for 3 years, and our relationship just seems to be getting weaker and weaker.

Unfortunately, I don't believe him anymore when he says ANYTHING. I don't even have proof he's ever lied to me, but my gut says he's lying or hiding something. I feel he's just with me because he doesn't want to be the first to break it up. Or because of the amazing sex.

I just feel unimportant and ignored a lot. We've discussed my feelings many times with no real effort from him to quell my insecurities.

How should I go about breaking up with an Aqua Stellium guy? Or at least get him to give me more time?

Thanks from a broken tired heart.

You only have 2 options: Break up, or continue as is and learn how to live your life as an individual who has someone you love living parallel to you. You can't get anyone (especially an Aqua) to spend more time with you than they're willing.

What specific things does he do (or not do) to make you feel like you're unimportant or dead weight?

I'm an Aqua stellium woman and I want nothing but the truth. My ex was passive aggressive and ambiguous and I found that dishonourable which led to my losing respect for him. When you don't respect someone, you have no relationship. Tell him straight. If he's already neglectful with you, chances are something is up. Either he's cheating or he wants you to break up with him.

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
What is the current state of your relationship? How often do you see each other etc

Thanks for your reply Aymtf.

The current state of our relationship is "I miss you, but I can't see you right now, although if we have sex, let me see if I can squeeze you into my lunch break"

We have "quality time" about once a month.

Posted by aquarius09
I'm an Aqua stellium woman and I want nothing but the truth. My ex was passive aggressive and ambiguous and I found that dishonourable which led to my losing respect for him. When you don't respect someone, you have no relationship. Tell him straight. If he's already neglectful with you, chances are something is up. Either he's cheating or he wants you to break up with him.

Thanks aquarius09.

What's a good way to break up with him?

Posted by sultrykitty
You only have 2 options: Break up, or continue as is and learn how to live your life as an individual who has someone you love living parallel to you. You can't get anyone (especially an Aqua) to spend more time with you than they're willing.

What specific things does he do (or not do) to make you feel like you're unimportant or dead weight?

Thanks sultrykitty.

He has really taken me for granted. I just want a normal relationship, but I feel like a side chick, even tho my competition is is job.

What would you suggest is a good way to break up, staying amicable and hurting his feelings very little? After all, I don't want to hurt him, no matter how much I've hurt already.

Posted by pennystealing123

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
What is the current state of your relationship? How often do you see each other etc

Thanks for your reply Aymtf.

The current state of our relationship is "I miss you, but I can't see you right now, although if we have sex, let me see if I can squeeze you into my lunch break"

We have "quality time" about once a month.

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that sets such a conditional tone for the relationship... i hope you can come to a resolution... which seems like it might be time to move on. I'm usually the first for work it out til you just can't give anymore. but by now you sound like you're running on empty my friend. do what makes you happy, and this doesn't sound like it does.

ending it with truth and honesty sounds best. tell him you have talked to him in the past about your feelings and feel that you've reached an impass, that it's time to go your seperate ways.

Posted by pennystealing123

Posted by sultrykitty
You only have 2 options: Break up, or continue as is and learn how to live your life as an individual who has someone you love living parallel to you. You can't get anyone (especially an Aqua) to spend more time with you than they're willing.

What specific things does he do (or not do) to make you feel like you're unimportant or dead weight?

Thanks sultrykitty.

He has really taken me for granted. I just want a normal relationship, but I feel like a side chick, even tho my competition is is job.

What would you suggest is a good way to break up, staying amicable and hurting his feelings very little? After all, I don't want to hurt him, no matter how much I've hurt already.

click to expand

From your last post describing how he is wth you, I'd agree that he's taking you for granted.

Once a month after 3 years tells me that he's not in it for the same reasons you are, or that he is and his perception of the r'ship is distorted.

I would just be honest and tell him that the last 3 years have been great but that you need more from a man and relationship than you're getting from him and that it's probably time you called it a day.

I wouldn't get into an argument with him about what he did or didn't do, or whether he can change, or whether you ever loved each other, just let him know what the relationship has done for you (good and/or bad). That at this point, it doesn't seem to be going anywhere and maybe this is the cue for you to move on.

He may or may not agree with you, but he'll respect you.

Posted by pennystealing123

Posted by aquarius09
I'm an Aqua stellium woman and I want nothing but the truth. My ex was passive aggressive and ambiguous and I found that dishonourable which led to my losing respect for him. When you don't respect someone, you have no relationship. Tell him straight. If he's already neglectful with you, chances are something is up. Either he's cheating or he wants you to break up with him.

Thanks aquarius09.

What's a good way to break up with him?

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?. I already answered your question in my previous comment

OP,

I broke up with two Aqua men...like you, i was distraught..the first one i was with for over 8 years, but now looking back, it was the best thing i ever did, I believe had i stayed with him, my life would have been ruined

Keep strong and look forward

(((Hugs)))

I'm more shocked at the fact you accepted a once a month relationship for 3 years.

Posted by EveryOunce
I'm more shocked at the fact you accepted a once a month relationship for 3 years.

Sadly it wasn't once a month at first

It was every day, all day, sometimes all night too 😢

Posted by pennystealing123

Posted by EveryOunce
I'm more shocked at the fact you accepted a once a month relationship for 3 years.

Sadly it wasn't once a month at first

It was every day, all day, sometimes all night too 😢

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People make time for what they want to make time for. If he truly wanted to make it work he would have listened to your concerns and made adjustments. I think you should be apart and if it is meant to be he will fight to get you back.

Posted by pennystealing123

Posted by Areyoumytwinflame
What is the current state of your relationship? How often do you see each other etc

Thanks for your reply Aymtf.

The current state of our relationship is "I miss you, but I can't see you right now, although if we have sex, let me see if I can squeeze you into my lunch break"

We have "quality time" about once a month.

click to expand

It sounds like a FWB relationship in which you are number 7 on the waiting list.

How do you come to the idea he will suffer if you break up? Suffer for what...? Email him and explain that you want out. Don't bother to blame him for anything...people will tend to fight back. not because they care a shit about you, but because you "offend" their ego. Don't forget to say you have made up your mind and there is no going back. He is NOT the man you want. He CANNOT be the man you want.

GET.OUT.OF.THERE.NOW!

Posted by DivaCanLeo

Posted by MyStarsShine
OP,

I broke up with two Aqua men...like you, i was distraught..the first one i was with for over 8 years, but now looking back, it was the best thing i ever did, I believe had i stayed with him, my life would have been ruined

Keep strong and look forward

(((Hugs)))

In what way would it have been ruined?

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He was a compulsive liar, gambler, drank too much and had sexual problems and had i have stayed he probably would gambled the house away.

From experience, us aquas have to be the one to drop you.. Maybe do everything he hates or pretend like you're dead and block him on everything, even then he probably won't let go LOL