My poor Aqua friend is suffocating in her

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xomelindabelle
@xomelindabelle
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Relationship with a Taurus. And a close Gem friend with her Taurus boyfriend. These poor air signs feel so smothered and trapped. Makes me feel so awful for them. And it's pissing me off, my Aries is showing lol I want to protect them and put their men in their place lol but this is a battle they have to fight and figure out on their own, I can't be codependent.
Any advice you Aquas have for my airy besties? What I could say or what they could do?
This is just like the worst combo I've see, air signs and Tauruses ugh.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by xomelindabelle
Relationship with a Taurus. And a close Gem friend with her Taurus boyfriend. These poor air signs feel so smothered and trapped. Makes me feel so awful for them. And it's pissing me off, my Aries is showing lol I want to protect them and put their men in their place lol but this is a battle they have to fight and figure out on their own, I can't be codependent.
Any advice you Aquas have for my airy besties? What I could say or what they could do?
This is just like the worst combo I've see, air signs and Tauruses ugh.
lol


i dont know what you're trying to do. 😆

but it's hilarious.
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xomelindabelle
@xomelindabelle
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Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by xomelindabelle
Relationship with a Taurus. And a close Gem friend with her Taurus boyfriend. These poor air signs feel so smothered and trapped. Makes me feel so awful for them. And it's pissing me off, my Aries is showing lol I want to protect them and put their men in their place lol but this is a battle they have to fight and figure out on their own, I can't be codependent.
Any advice you Aquas have for my airy besties? What I could say or what they could do?
This is just like the worst combo I've see, air signs and Tauruses ugh.
lol


i dont know what you're trying to do. 😆

but it's hilarious.
click to expand

Why is it hilarious? I'm simply caring about friends. Trying to gain perspective from other Aquas/air signs and see if I can help. Because these two always come to asking for assistance with it. Just curious.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by xomelindabelle
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by xomelindabelle
Relationship with a Taurus. And a close Gem friend with her Taurus boyfriend. These poor air signs feel so smothered and trapped. Makes me feel so awful for them. And it's pissing me off, my Aries is showing lol I want to protect them and put their men in their place lol but this is a battle they have to fight and figure out on their own, I can't be codependent.
Any advice you Aquas have for my airy besties? What I could say or what they could do?
This is just like the worst combo I've see, air signs and Tauruses ugh.
lol


i dont know what you're trying to do. 😆

but it's hilarious.
Why is it hilarious? I'm simply caring about friends. Trying to gain perspective from other Aquas/air signs and see if I can help. Because these two always come to asking for assistance with it. Just curious.
click to expand

i don't know...i never had any problems with taurus sun men in my life in the past. Always gentlemanly. that's the truth.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by PV&Jellay
Posted by xomelindabelle
Relationship with a Taurus. And a close Gem friend with her Taurus boyfriend. These poor air signs feel so smothered and trapped. Makes me feel so awful for them. And it's pissing me off, my Aries is showing lol I want to protect them and put their men in their place lol but this is a battle they have to fight and figure out on their own, I can't be codependent.
Any advice you Aquas have for my airy besties? What I could say or what they could do?
This is just like the worst combo I've see, air signs and Tauruses ugh.
If they're so miserable, why do they stay? Thing is most women like to vent about their mates. They may even secretly enjoy the clinginess a little.
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well venting openly about your mate...

i dont think that's good.

it depends on the kind of venting they're doing. If theyre venting because they're being physically abused....gosh yeah get out of there!

most women that i know don't really vent about their husbands, even if they are going through financial crisis....

they just are so QUIET about it, because they feel it's no one's business.

true story. Happened to a few people i knew. But somehow with little sayings here and there, mentioning stuff that pertains to financial stuff...

you get the picture. several years later, i find out they are doing better.

but they never vented openly. they suffered silently...
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by PV&Jellay
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by PV&Jellay
Posted by xomelindabelle
Relationship with a Taurus. And a close Gem friend with her Taurus boyfriend. These poor air signs feel so smothered and trapped. Makes me feel so awful for them. And it's pissing me off, my Aries is showing lol I want to protect them and put their men in their place lol but this is a battle they have to fight and figure out on their own, I can't be codependent.
Any advice you Aquas have for my airy besties? What I could say or what they could do?
This is just like the worst combo I've see, air signs and Tauruses ugh.
If they're so miserable, why do they stay? Thing is most women like to vent about their mates. They may even secretly enjoy the clinginess a little.
well venting openly about your mate...

i dont think that's good.

it depends on the kind of venting they're doing. If theyre venting because they're being physically abused....gosh yeah get out of there!

most women that i know don't really vent about their husbands, even if they are going through financial crisis....

they just are so QUIET about it, because they feel it's no one's business.

true story. Happened to a few people i knew. But somehow with little sayings here and there, mentioning stuff that pertains to financial stuff...

you get the picture. several years later, i find out they are doing better.

but they never vented openly. they suffered silently...
Keeping up appearances is all good. But if they weren't venting to you, trust they were venting to someone. No matter how great, everyone gets annoyed with their mate. And sometimes you just need to vent.
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that's true. like i mentioned in my last post.

they were keeping up appearances but i kind of knew by what they mentioned of their financial crisis....

and the forum i mentioned, mostly women venting about their men cheating, and of course money problems.


the happier ones, dont have that problem of course. they make topics on "happy stuff" ...
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by PV&Jellay
What I mean, is women bond by talking about there mates. Sometimes we whine about the shit they do that annoys us. It doesn't mean that we are having relationship issues, it's just what we do. My point is, her friends may not even necessarily be miserable. They may be just venting. So before going all into Superwoman mode, take a step back. I don't know any air signs willing to stay in a suffocating relationship.
not just air" apparantly but all signs...

https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/200701/suffocating-in-relationship

Couples Not Clones

Recognize individual needs.

"Many couples wrongly believe they should have the same needs and desires because they're a couple," says Rydell. He says it's essential that couples acknowledge that each of them has different needs. "Giving permission for those differences is key to productive communication."

Patricia Farrell, author of How to Be Your Own Therapist, suggests partners learn to read each other's nonverbal cues. "It sounds hokey, but agree to provide each other with a signal that it's OK to cuddle," she says. "Body language is useful. It takes time, but it's worth it and avoids misunderstandings and hurtful put-downs." If you're the more affectionate one, keep an eye on your motivation.

If you ignore your partner's signals to back off, you're effectively being inconsiderate, not loving, warns Molly Barrow, author of Matchlines. "If someone throws their arms around you and it gives you pleasure, they're demonstrating their love. But if it makes you uncomfortable or you hate the closeness, then that very same act is not giving love." Backing off is best, not only because it's respectful, but also because your partner will be more likely to then reach out to you.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
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Posted by PV&Jellay
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by PV&Jellay
OP hasn't provided enough details as to why her friends feel trapped and smothered. What are these men doung specifically?
i know...i wonder too.

i'm envisioning...a pillow over their heads suffocating or something. lol 😆

or the man is all over the woman on top of her 24/7 like a baby.
LOL. Dear lord no one wants a man breathing down their neck 24/7. I sure hope they aren't.
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lol

you know i realize....that the "happy stuff" is BORING, so that's why we seek to hear and listen to the sad stories/the drama of other couple's lives...

omg. *smh*

i dont realize it, but i tend to gravitate to it and read them and also read sad sorrowful true life stories in magazines too.

i honestly dont want to go through that personally, all the terrible things, but its odd how many of us (not all) like to read the sad stuff.

not because we want others to be sad, or be in unhappy relationships or be unhappy...but i don't know, it's just so weird! i do notice that i pick up magazines to read on true story articles.

One time over dinner, i brought the magazines with me, and i had it on the side of the window, and i was with my husband and his friends. One of his friends remark to me, "what are you reading?" so i told him all about the true lives, stories of women and their struggles.....

it is not something he was interested in though. but he could understand why us ladies bond with that....
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xomelindabelle
@xomelindabelle
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Posted by PV&Jellay
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by PV&Jellay
OP hasn't provided enough details as to why her friends feel trapped and smothered. What are these men doung specifically?
i know...i wonder too.

i'm envisioning...a pillow over their heads suffocating or something. lol 😆

or the man is all over the woman on top of her 24/7 like a baby.
LOL. Dear lord no one wants a man breathing down their neck 24/7. I sure hope they aren't.
click to expand

Unfortunately, both Taurus men are. But one great thing? I'm finally seeing my Aqua friend stand up for herself and she's finally told him she can't do it anymore. As you know, Aqua personalities need space and he's constantly on top of her, her every move; gets mad at her for making plans with friends. He ALWAYS wants to be with her. So she's finally told him she can't do it anymore.

Now, my Gem friend is actually kind of pissing me off. She spent this weekend ditching me over and over when I was visiting her, for her Taurus boyfriend. They left me at his house to go to a party where there'd be drinking and such. They came back later, but for me it was the principle. I don't drink anymore due to being in recovery. So I really try to be careful with where I spend my time. I do sometimes go out with them, and it's my fault if they say they'll be drinking and I still go. So I get that, I was just bothered because they said 'let's go back to Russell's house and just chill, watch a movie." Totally not what they ended up doing, and I was left behind. If she doesn't do what he wants, he either threatens to break-up with her or creates a huge fight and attacks her. And she always forgives that shit. This past Saturday night, I saw her molding into him, and by that I mean she was spitting out opinions that she knew he'd want to hear, in front of others. And it just sickened me. Like, aren't you an individual? I know she doesn't believe half the shit she says in front of him. It's just getting sad now and I'm considering parting ways with her because of how often she casts me off for him, and how he tries to control her. I've had a lot of patience and try to be understanding. But this Gemini only does thin
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xomelindabelle
@xomelindabelle
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gs to please her Taurus boyfriend because she's scared. And she always complains and doesn't do anything about it. And treating your friends like shit in the process is going to make you lose them. I just need to stop being a codependent and just separate myself from her while she loses herself in this person. I've really tried, but it's been two years of him dictating her every move and entire life; it's unnerving.

I'm proud of the Aqua, though. She's much stronger.