Sudden silence. I need an advice!

Me: 38, Cancer. Him: 39, Aquarius. We've been hanging out since July. Six months of great sex, great laughter, every day discovery of new things together and of learning new ways of dealing with my need to be reassured and its emotional detachment.
We have just come back from a ten day trip in Turkey and spent these last days as usual, with him opening its hearth more, sharing with me the deepest secret of his family. Then. Then last saturday he left for a 10 days trip to New York with his best friend. We are not used to talk to each other every day, but since eh left I didn't get ANY message, mail or phone call. Sensitive as I am, I suffered sooo much and began thinking it's a way of letting me know it's game over between us. He will be home on Monday and honestly I'm scared. Is he going to call when he comes back? Will he be gone forever even if everything was fine before he left? Am I simply paranoid and for him, being a detached Aquarius, everything is normal— I love him truly and I'm learning to be patiebt...but sometimes it's hard to stay calm and focused.

Not even a text message?

Aquarians are good at being detached when they don't particularly care. They are not detached when they love you, you don't have to question it.

What kind of relationship do you have?

Bf and gf?

I would reach out as well.

Once.

Sounds not very nice! I wouldn't reach out to him, let him attempt to contact you a few times before you respond. He'll be back for sure, don't be so easy to get back to. ; ) he may be up to no good and you chasing after him will fortify his desire to be no good.

men like this are so...ugh!!!

if i were in your place i'd be worried sick and PINING.

i don't know these types of guys, but perhaps this type of guy is "processing" his emotions, or how he wants to go forward with you. Perhaps for him, it is TIME. Time will tell.

what are your placements and what are his?

You know how aquarius are. He has been behaving as a boyfriend since we began to date (We are into a monogamous relationship, spend all the spare time We have together, he introduced me to his friends and talks about me with the others as his girlfriend). Problem is: if I ask him (which I did once) where is our relationship going, he goes nuts. He screamed at me: "it's not enough what i do for you and what We do together? Do you need reassurances on the future? I'm not giving you any".
Thing is: thursday before he left We had a wonderful dinner out. Very romantic, so that when I was home I texted him "you know what? Future Who cares? But in this precise moment, i'm happy. And it's because of you". He answered with a kissing emoticon. The day after, right before going to the airport, he called me. Everything was fine. He was cuter then ever. He saluted me saying "kisses, bye". And that was it.
Thinking that he could be gone forever sounds absurd. But I really don't know what to think.

Posted by Annemarie
You know how aquarius are. He has been behaving as a boyfriend since we began to date (We are into a monogamous relationship, spend all the spare time We have together, he introduced me to his friends and talks about me with the others as his girlfriend). Problem is: if I ask him (which I did once) where is our relationship going, he goes nuts. He screamed at me: "it's not enough what i do for you and what We do together? Do you need reassurances on the future? I'm not giving you any".
Thing is: thursday before he left We had a wonderful dinner out. Very romantic, so that when I was home I texted him "you know what? Future Who cares? But in this precise moment, i'm happy. And it's because of you". He answered with a kissing emoticon. The day after, right before going to the airport, he called me. Everything was fine. He was cuter then ever. He saluted me saying "kisses, bye". And that was it.
Thinking that he could be gone forever sounds absurd. But I really don't know what to think.

sounds a little sick actually. I don't think hes gone forever, he's trained you into giving the OK for his bad behavior, I would step back, way back. Don't persue him at all or he will run.

I hate this kinda behavior. One call is all she would have wanted. Can't even do that. Sheesh.

Hello there. Felt the need to give U an update. He texted on Saturday, as if nothing has happened. He even sent a picture of the gift he bought, saying "I've been thinkiing about you". He came back yesterday and we saw each other having a wonderful time as usual. When I told him I was getting anxiuous because of his silence, he went: "Why? I was just getting some time off from the world".
Ah, these Aquarius men...

Oh, honey!!! NEVER, ever tell a man their silence made you anxious!!! Especially an aqua!
It subconsiously tells him you are sitting by the phone waiting on him and that comes across as needy. It changes the vibe of the relationship and a lot of times men drift away after you tell them that.

Let it go this time, but don't do it again!!!

Posted by Annemarie
"it's not enough what i do for you and what We do together? Do you need reassurances on the future? I'm not giving you any".

He's telling you that you should read his actions and should know that you are special and constantly asking for reassurances irritates him.

Posted by Annemarie
""you know what? Future Who cares? But in this precise moment, i'm happy. And it's because of you".

click to expand

You blatantly contradicted yourself when you told him you were anxious about his absence. In this conversation you told him you didn't care or worry about the future. The next conversation you told him his absence made you anxious. A man notices those little contradictions. He will come to the point where he won't believe what you say. He'll learn that you were lying to yourself when you said you didn't care about the future and reassurances then turned around and got anxious when he didn't text for a while. You do care about the future. We're women, we all do. But,the man doesn't have to know that you do. Just keep in mind that a man will see through it. All they want you do to is be honest with yourself and with him. And if you're lying to yourself, how will he know you're not lying to him, telling him what you think he wants to hear.

I hope what I'm trying to say makes sense and is coming across the way I intend for it to.

Posted by truecap
Oh, honey!!! NEVER, ever tell a man their silence made you anxious!!! Especially an aqua!
It subconsiously tells him you are sitting by the phone waiting on him and that comes across as needy. It changes the vibe of the relationship and a lot of times men drift away after you tell them that.

Let it go this time, but don't do it again!!!

I dunno... For me personally that wouldn't bother me. Always, nice to know someone values you enough to worry about losing you.

However, I usually date VERY stubborn strong women who, generally speaking, would rather act like their just fine then admit to ever being made anxious be little old me 😛

Posted by feby
But at the same time if he drifts away because she said she needed him and felt anxious because he didn't contact her....that doesn't look too good for him either.
I think relationships, like the great kind, are where people can be open with each other about how they feel...the good and the bad, without repercussions.

I think it's needy. Like her happiness depends on whether he contacts her or not. It's like begging for attention.

But you are right. In a great relationship like you're talking about, he wouldn't make her worry. He would stay in contact and not give her one second of doubt.

I suppose it depends on how he feels about her after six months.

If he loves her, then it would make him feel bad and he will make efforts not to let it happen again.
If he doesn't love her, then it could make him feel pressured and give him an icky feeling.

But you know us caps, we don't like to admit to anyone that we are vulnerable. We're just independent and closed off like that.

Yeah I agree Feb!

He totally should have reached out in some way... I mean 10 whole days.. Damn... That's almost two weeks.

Texting takes like no time at all.

I think it's that it went ten days with no contact. Instead of telling him I was anxious, I would be looking at the exit door. Maybe that's the reason, I'd be against making myself vulnerable to someone who had the little regard for my feelings after six months.

*Shrugs*