Why don't you try harder?

Most aquas that I've known have this thing that they do.

They don't like to put in more effort.

For example, with my Aqua... If I'm unhappy, and I'll mention that I want a certain thing done to make me feel more secure in the relationship, if it's something he doesn't think he needs to do he won't. Even tho I want that thing done, he just won't.

He'll feel bad that he won't do that thing, but he has no motivation to do it. Dude it'll make me happy! I do things all the time to put a smile on your face, even if it's out of the way or not my cup of tea.

Another example is that he sees I'm quiet. Rather than ask "why are you quiet?" He'll just be quiet back.

Like what is that?

If I say something like "I miss you." He'll say "I know, me too." How about making plans so we won't be missing each other?

Like he needs to one up me in my feelings...

You guys know what I'm talking about?

The quietness is not to get a response. If I'm quiet, it's genuine. I would like him to "chase" a little, but it isn't manipulation.

Mine has gotten MUCH better but he's still more like that than not.

It's all give and take, I hate it when I go out of my way for people and they aren't grateful in any way shape or form then the second something doesn't go their way they get snotty with me..

For example when I clean the kitchen I like to have my earphones in and I clean and sing and dance infront of the mirror and it usually takes me 2 hours to do it because I find it cathartic and I enjoy doing my time to do it...

My boyfriend asked me to clean the kitchen once after dinner, even though I've Cooked him dinner and cleaned the kitchen by myself since the beginning of our relationship, I cooked him everything, breakfast, lunch and dinner and would clean up But this time he asked me to clean the kitchen even thoughts I was going to....and I was dancing around the way I usually was and he to,d me to stop being lazy, I have to admit I took it to heart and ever since then I hate cleaning in front of him, it makes me embarrassed to some degree and I'm crippled..

I love cleaning up, when I'm by myself and since he's moved in its taken me a while to adjust to his regime as it feels like he's forcing it on me and I've said it before and I'll say it again, everything needs to be on MY TERMS......there's no if, ands or buts about it, I don't go into someone's house expecting they change for me.

And even growing up absolutely nothing I did was ever good enough for my mother, I had the clean the kitchen, sweep the floors and mop, clean glass, dust and the whole time my mother wasn't grateful she just said as long as you're under my roof you will do this and she never showed any appreciation, do you know what that does to a person? It cripples them because every act of niceness they try and do for that person has an equal amount of resentment that builds up in the back of their head.

Hope that gives you some insight

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
It's all give and take, I hate it when I go out of my way for people and they aren't grateful in any way shape or form then the second something doesn't go their way they get snotty with me..

For example when I clean the kitchen I like to have my earphones in and I clean and sing and dance infront of the mirror and it usually takes me 2 hours to do it because I find it cathartic and I enjoy doing my time to do it...

My boyfriend asked me to clean the kitchen once after dinner, even though I've Cooked him dinner and cleaned the kitchen by myself since the beginning of our relationship, I cooked him everything, breakfast, lunch and dinner and would clean up But this time he asked me to clean the kitchen even thoughts I was going to....and I was dancing around the way I usually was and he to,d me to stop being lazy, I have to admit I took it to heart and ever since then I hate cleaning in front of him, it makes me embarrassed to some degree and I'm crippled..

I love cleaning up, when I'm by myself and since he's moved in its taken me a while to adjust to his regime as it feels like he's forcing it on me and I've said it before and I'll say it again, everything needs to be on MY TERMS......there's no if, ands or buts about it, I don't go into someone's house expecting they change for me.

And even growing up absolutely nothing I did was ever good enough for my mother, I had the clean the kitchen, sweep the floors and mop, clean glass, dust and the whole time my mother wasn't grateful she just said as long as you're under my roof you will do this and she never showed any appreciation, do you know what that does to a person? It cripples them because every act of niceness they try and do for that person has an equal amount of resentment that builds up in the back of their head.

Hope that gives you some insight

My mom did that to me, she's the aqua in our dynamic.

Other first time I ever got a bit of recognition I was 19, and mom was recalling a moment when I was 13 years old.

I was shocked she appreciates me.

Also, I'm pretty sure that you don't do everything he would like you to do to make him feel good. He may not tell you that but no one fulfills everyone's wish list.

Just like with anything, the less you expect the more you receive.