Why so flaky?

Never thought a fixed sign could be so unreliable until I made friends with an Aquarius guy. He's a chronic bailer, despite him saying he misses me since I transferred to a different work location. Despite him saying I'm his favorite person to hang out with. We can only hang out on the weekend, often with an agreement to play games (his suggestion.) We get somewhere and end up spending hours talking. He changes his mind about the games. Or we play and then he decides at some point all by himself that we're done. I don't get mad. I mention it because I'm actually quite flexible and very accommodating and... for every one time we manage to hang out he's already bailed five other times.

He doesn't have kids or a wife. He just cancels because of "stuff" or he's "in a mood" or he's "busy." The guy's 9 years older than me. Didn't know I was really dealing with a teenager.

He bailed on me a few times back in August. I transferred job locales in Sept. We'd make plans, then, "Gotta cancel. Busy." or "Can't make it tomorrow. Sorry." and the like. A few weeks ago, he said he was too busy, and let's look to this weekend to hang out. I was irked. I don't schedule my social life. The few friends I had that couldn't see me lest they "penciled me in," I dumped like yesterdays garbage.

But I made an exception for this guy. We talked of going to a festival together Thursday evening, then hanging out Saturday. He *almost* begged to tag along to the festival with me, honestly. We made the plans Monday night. Less than 24 hrs. later, "Can't make it to the festival but I'll see you Saturday." Fair enough. Another 24 hours later (Wednesday) "Can't make it Saturday. Things came up."

I didn't respond. I wanted to say something like "Why are you such a fucking flake?!" but then he'd probably get all mad and hurt and turn it around back on me like some child, outlandishly claiming I'm somehow limiting his freedom or something stupid like that.

I mean, if you're the type of person that doesn't like to hang out because you're that introverted or whatever, fine. If YOU KNOW you are that unreliable or flaky or moody, fine. Don't make plans. This guy is great, but, Aquarius or not, NO ONE is worth putting up with this shit!

Let's face it, most of the greatest people to have ever existed are all dead now so, don't try to tell me I'm somehow missing out if I let an unstable Aquarius bailer go.

I don't know if he's unconsciously stringing me along (platonically) because he gets something out of it or what. A friendship is a two way street and it needs to be nurtured like any other relationship. Not tended to ONLY when you feel like it or ONLY at your convenience. There's another person at the other end.

If you suck at friendship, fine. No one says you *have* to BE a friend to anyone. Go lock yourself away in your self imposed exile.

But don't tell someone how much they've impacted your life, your career, that they're your favorite person to hang out with, make plans with them, then constantly bail on them because your dependability and follow through are a negative 60.

So given all that, how would YOU deal with such a flaky Aquarius? What makes you guys flakes anyway? Or is this just exclusive to this dude?

Posted by Stardustmopped
As much as I’m on my Aqua hating journey right now they’re not really flakey. Not with their friends anyway. I’m inclined to say it’s his moon bailing.

Did she state what his moon is?

I think in general air signs are the flakiest. 😅

But with all people if someone keeps flaking on you you're not their priority. If someone keeps doing that then they're out. Words mean nothing. Actions speak louder than words.

I think he enjoys talking to you, but he’s genuinely too busy. Why is he agreeing to your plans initially? He may have people pleasing tendencies and also overestimate the spare time he has on his hands. Perhaps there is a harem of female acquaintances to entertain, and some of them may be more demanding than others 😃

Posted by MyStarsShine

Posted by Stardustmopped
As much as I’m on my Aqua hating journey right now they’re not really flakey. Not with their friends anyway. I’m inclined to say it’s his moon bailing.

Did she state what his moon is?

click to expand

He has a Gemini moon as far as I can tell. But might have been like at 0 or 1 degree.

I have a Gemini sun, so the bond there, the shared desires and interest, his ability to gab for hours and hours and realize that I was a lot like him was explained by that.

Posted by Undine
I think he enjoys talking to you, but he’s genuinely too busy. Why is he agreeing to your plans initially? He may have people pleasing tendencies and also overestimate the spare time he has on his hands. Perhaps there is a harem of female acquaintances to entertain, and some of them may be more demanding than others 😃

Might be people pleasing. I get that feeling that when he says we can hang out at certain, particular places, it’s because it’s more my thing to do. But hell, we both have fun and he likes those places too.

I suspect he wants to hang out, but something better comes along, or just something else that frazzles him and not in a good way.

Posted by ATGR
OP are you a man or woman (sorry I forgot)?

If it’s getting to you that he’s bailing and you’re putting more energy into it then I would ditch him personally.

Yeah I’m a woman, unfortunately. Wish I was a big, tall strong man then I could kick ass when needed. Maybe in the next life.

Unevolved Aquas are very flakey and unreliable. As for evolved ones, don’t go by their words. Actions is everything. If Aqua isn’t willing to come see you or make an effort for you, they aren’t into you. I won’t life a finger for anyone unless I genuinely like them.

i think modern friendships and relationships in general are harder now partly coz of modern therapy. the slightest mistake and you're now 'toxic.'

like it used to be your best friend is whoever sits right next to you in class and when you encounter an issue, you guys try to work it out. now there's no grace and nobody forgives anyone anymore.

one thing happens and it's over coz therapy.

All 3 air signs have flakey tendencies. It really depends on what is in that person's chart. If they have Gemini and Aries in their chart, you will see a very hot-cold flakey person.