Silvuh
@Silvuh
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Cancer husband Aries Wife Problem. Need help? (Page 2)
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If the roles of the Aries and Cancer involved were reverse, I guarantee you the Cancers making excuses about 'human nature' would be singing an entirely different tune. The Aries would be demonized and the Cancer, victimized as per usual. This is about accountability, and respect for you partner, not stroking an unfaithful man's ego and bending over backwards to keep him.
This man's actions are indefensible. I would never justify self-centeredness and emotional cheating simply due to sharing a sun sign. Which is exactly what I'm seeing coming from the crabs responding to this post.
Making an argument about 'just looking' and it 'not being physical' is quite a joke.
Her husband says he's IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. And he's letting her sit in that, consumed with heartache and feeling betrayed and controlled. What purpose did he have to tell her that other than "Let's get a divorce." or "I'm worried, we need to work on things. I'm not getting my needs met, and I would like to be heard."
That's IT. This goes deeper than being upset about her husband 'simply looking'. Yes, it was mentioned and incessant looks in front of your loved one are disrespectful in my book. We've established that everyone looks, but don't do it in front of your significant other -- that's crass.
The deeper aspect is the glaring issue of him being in love with someone other than his spouse and expecting her to get over it the next day. -_- Whether the claim has any validity to it or not is neither here nor there. It's the fact that he professed such a thing in the first place.
And before really speaking to her about his complaints and feelings about the marriage -- from what I gather from the original post.
This is her life -- everything she knows. And both parties are responsible for trying to work it out if possible. Or ending it if that's what needs to be done.
She shouldn't be stuck marinating in pain while he is awarded space and a hall pass to emotionally bond with someone else while still staying married.
This man's actions are indefensible. I would never justify self-centeredness and emotional cheating simply due to sharing a sun sign. Which is exactly what I'm seeing coming from the crabs responding to this post.
Making an argument about 'just looking' and it 'not being physical' is quite a joke.
Her husband says he's IN LOVE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN. And he's letting her sit in that, consumed with heartache and feeling betrayed and controlled. What purpose did he have to tell her that other than "Let's get a divorce." or "I'm worried, we need to work on things. I'm not getting my needs met, and I would like to be heard."
That's IT. This goes deeper than being upset about her husband 'simply looking'. Yes, it was mentioned and incessant looks in front of your loved one are disrespectful in my book. We've established that everyone looks, but don't do it in front of your significant other -- that's crass.
The deeper aspect is the glaring issue of him being in love with someone other than his spouse and expecting her to get over it the next day. -_- Whether the claim has any validity to it or not is neither here nor there. It's the fact that he professed such a thing in the first place.
And before really speaking to her about his complaints and feelings about the marriage -- from what I gather from the original post.
This is her life -- everything she knows. And both parties are responsible for trying to work it out if possible. Or ending it if that's what needs to be done.
She shouldn't be stuck marinating in pain while he is awarded space and a hall pass to emotionally bond with someone else while still staying married.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamI don't understand either. Most people would logically walk away from someone who lies and has a wandering eye. You (Op) married him.
What I don't understand is why you weren't ditching this fool 10 years ago when you saw obvious red flags of a cheater mentality??
Grow a pair, doormat. Desperation makes you look weak and pathetic.
I'm technically on the Aries-Taurus cusp and I know what Alicia is talking about. My Taurean traits could arguably be coming from my Taurus Venus and Merc, but I still consider myself a cusper.
Some completely deny the existence of the cusp, and others embrace it. It's all relative to the individual's perspective.
And my mom's a Cancer moon. She has her moments where she irritates me, but for the most part she's entirely loving, nurturing and compassionate. She's been known to take in what my siblings and I called 'strays', in jest growing up with her lol whether they were animals or people. I recall a lot of people crashing at our place because my mom wanted them to feel safe.
She even fostered one of my friends when she had nowhere else to go -- that's love. I thank my lucky stars I had a mother with a Cancer moon. She takes good care of those she cares about, and feels strongly for people as a whole. Cancer moon is domicile too, so it could never be a bad placement. I don't agree that it can be applied in the same way.
Feminine planets, especially the moon allow Cancer to thrive.
Some completely deny the existence of the cusp, and others embrace it. It's all relative to the individual's perspective.
And my mom's a Cancer moon. She has her moments where she irritates me, but for the most part she's entirely loving, nurturing and compassionate. She's been known to take in what my siblings and I called 'strays', in jest growing up with her lol whether they were animals or people. I recall a lot of people crashing at our place because my mom wanted them to feel safe.
She even fostered one of my friends when she had nowhere else to go -- that's love. I thank my lucky stars I had a mother with a Cancer moon. She takes good care of those she cares about, and feels strongly for people as a whole. Cancer moon is domicile too, so it could never be a bad placement. I don't agree that it can be applied in the same way.
Feminine planets, especially the moon allow Cancer to thrive.
Thanks everyone for your inputs.
We had several problems in this 10 years and none of them had closure. I always ended up talking to him , compromising and apologizing for shouting at him( because he always make me feel guilty by not eating , having a depressed face etc.) But now I see all these things are his acting.
I noticed him if I say something , he does the opposite. He rarely talks and he listens all my words and my weakness and plays on it. For example I hate liars, so he won't speak the truth. When I confront him, he doesn't talk at all and drives me mad.
I couldn't divorce him because we have a 7 year old daughter.
That virgo woman dressed so sexy once and he was full of lust the entire meeting. HE doesn't even want me to walk beside him while we were leaving from the get together. He got irritated and tried to push me to take care of some friend's kid in the parking lot. After coming home, he was in the restroom for a while and came back to notice me I was upset. Then he got scared and when I confronted why he was acting with her so lusty , but tried to convince me that I'm imagining things. Year later He is making this confession. He falls for any women who is beautiful , giving him attention. He falls deeply for a motherly woman who is taking care of kids so well. He provided me everything I wished for, never demanded anythign from me. I figured out that he is not in love with me but just cares for me may be... (god knows what he thinks, because he rarely speaks anything to me). All i know is his actions gving gifts, cuddling to watch tv, taking for trips, restaurants etc...
Pls suggest me
What should I do to make him (cancer man ) feel guilty?
What gets under his skin?
I'm worried if I don't talk to him for a while, he may end up having physical contact with some woman who gives him attention.
Basically I want to to do things to make him feel guilty , open up to me completely. I'm scared that If I'm not providing him anything, that may push him to seek other woman...
We had several problems in this 10 years and none of them had closure. I always ended up talking to him , compromising and apologizing for shouting at him( because he always make me feel guilty by not eating , having a depressed face etc.) But now I see all these things are his acting.
I noticed him if I say something , he does the opposite. He rarely talks and he listens all my words and my weakness and plays on it. For example I hate liars, so he won't speak the truth. When I confront him, he doesn't talk at all and drives me mad.
I couldn't divorce him because we have a 7 year old daughter.
That virgo woman dressed so sexy once and he was full of lust the entire meeting. HE doesn't even want me to walk beside him while we were leaving from the get together. He got irritated and tried to push me to take care of some friend's kid in the parking lot. After coming home, he was in the restroom for a while and came back to notice me I was upset. Then he got scared and when I confronted why he was acting with her so lusty , but tried to convince me that I'm imagining things. Year later He is making this confession. He falls for any women who is beautiful , giving him attention. He falls deeply for a motherly woman who is taking care of kids so well. He provided me everything I wished for, never demanded anythign from me. I figured out that he is not in love with me but just cares for me may be... (god knows what he thinks, because he rarely speaks anything to me). All i know is his actions gving gifts, cuddling to watch tv, taking for trips, restaurants etc...
Pls suggest me
What should I do to make him (cancer man ) feel guilty?
What gets under his skin?
I'm worried if I don't talk to him for a while, he may end up having physical contact with some woman who gives him attention.
Basically I want to to do things to make him feel guilty , open up to me completely. I'm scared that If I'm not providing him anything, that may push him to seek other woman...
Posted by Arielle83That's not the issue for the OP though. Dude is overstepping the marriage boundaries and falling in love with other women. You can make excuses left and right, but it's not right and he's seriously in the wrong here.
Let's all tell ppl to put blinders on and put our spouses on leashes.
You shame someone, they'll figure out how to hide it.
Then you'll call them out for lying.
Shaming creates the lying.
A simple glance destroys relationships?
You're married so pick your battles.
You've got to be a blind saint to ridicule those who stare at beauty.
You can look but you can't touch.
He should have ended it if he felt his emotional needs weren't being met. She should have ended it because she saw his shady fuck behavior at the beginning. Hell, she probably did prior to marriage but ignored it because you know, society tells women that their ultimate life goal is to pair off and get married, instilling false happiness and hope into the blinded masses.
Posted by KoniuchaaPosted by leowwwLolPosted by TerramineLightBite your tongue when you speak of cancer moons....!!Posted by xXxAliciaXxX
Agree.
Cancers are notorious for shifting blame onto others even when they are wrong.
No offense, but I've seen it with cancer moons before. Hell you're a Taurus Sun, Cancer Moon correct? And that's exactly the sun-moon set up my sister has... and yet she is probably the most manipulative evil person I know.
Just sayin, it's not looking good for cancer moons either and I don't know you. My sister is also basically an "intuitive hypocrite". She contradicts her words through subconscious actions and doesn't even see it. So I am weary of your words here.
😆 mass of cancer moons suddenly show up on this thread.
We are all like, 'oh no he di'nt!'click to expand
Who fucking cares? If you aren't guilty of the shit he's going on about, ignore the generalizations and move along.
I'm a Cancer moon and I have zero fucks to give about his generalizations.
Posted by camela
I couldn't divorce him because we have a 7 year old daughter.
This is the biggest, most bullshit excuse you selfish ass.
You and your husband are selfish fucks that should be pushed off a cliff. Your pathetic ass CRAVES this shit and refuses to try to live life without this crap you've been conditioned to and your husband is a selfish, manipulative fuckwad.
Yet you use your daughter as a pathetic fuck EXCUSE to stick around.
Yes you CAN divorce with a child. It's no longer 1950 and the outdated, piss poor fuck excuse of "we're staying together because of the kids" is no longer valid and only uttered by emotionally weak and selfish individuals. Your interests are not in the best interest of the child.
Raising a child in a hostile, emotionally unstable environment is FAR more damaging than the actual divorce. A child needs to be in an environment where there's a healthy balance and mom and dad are being examples of how she should look to approach her own relationships as an adult.
By sticking around, you're teaching your daugther to tolerate cheaters, manipulators, etc. Congratulations desperate hoe, you're raising your kid to be one of these silly bitches we see around here- a passive aggressive female who makes it her life goal to keep toxic men around. You are the reason this cycle continues to happen in 2016. Mothers like you are why we see this shit rampant in society.
Get some fucking common sense. You're a goddamned Aries. Start acting like one. Put your daughter's emotional wellbeing first, not YOURS. You're just using her as a scapegoat in order to stay.
TEN years ago you saw a problem and you could have left then considering she wasn't around at the time.
Enough piss poor decision making, less immature childish behavior, and more adulting please.
Also, stop procreating if you refuse to do anything further. Kids can't choose who their parents are so it's up to you to be an actual, responsible adult who looks out for THEIR wellbeing. You aren't exactly doing that. You should be ashamed of yourself, tbh.
Posted by camelaSterilize yourself.
Pls suggest me
What should I do to make him (cancer man ) feel guilty?
What gets under his skin?
I'm worried if I don't talk to him for a while, he may end up having physical contact with some woman who gives him attention.
Basically I want to to do things to make him feel guilty , open up to me completely. I'm scared that If I'm not providing him anything, that may push him to seek other woman...
Posted by Arielle83I wouldn't be surprised. A Cancer friend of mine is with a leech of a Leo woman who just expects him to fund her and her children (not his) because she's an underachiever in life and never believed in use of condoms.
I'm assuming you've made accusations and shamed him by you yelling at him etc. so if you guilt him you're just bringing more shame which just will find you more unattractive.
He ended up cheating when he was drunk. It was wrong and he shouldn't have done it, but her lazy, leeching bs made him feel trapped and suffocated, so it wasn't surprising what he did while drunk. It was sad to see because I saw this when he started dating her years ago. It's like dahell dude, a chick with no job, living with her ex, who she was split up from, only because she had no job and had kids and THAT guy didn't want to kick them out on the street...
Yeah, that'll be nice if things go south.... White knighting doesn't pay, guys. It really doesn't.
Anytime I see him, I can tell he feels trapped and is miserable. :/
Watery, emotional signs are not ones you want to be trapped with. Everyone's miserable. I couldn't date a Cancer dude tbh, let alone any water sign. Too much manipulative shit. Unlike the OP, I run from that garbage and I can see it from a mile away.
Oh, you want to play games and try to manipulate me? That's nice. Bye Felipe.
The marriage is already over.
The marriage should have never happened to begin with.
Do I find other men attractive besides my man?
Of course.
But...
I appreciate their looks when I am in the company of my friends on a random girls night out, and we're just having fun.
Would I exhibit the 'wandering eyes' behavior in front of my man?
NEVER!
Why?
He's the light of my life, and puts a smile to my lips.
Why look at someone else, when the real hot prize is sitting right next to me.
He's my King.
Why disrespect him?
To make him feel, that his time with me isn't worth it? Someone else has caught my eyes?
Her husband is blatantly disrespectful period.
Divorces don't happen because people refuse to work on marriages.
Divorces happen because people have no boundaries in regards to marriages and most relationships.
The marriage should have never happened to begin with.
Do I find other men attractive besides my man?
Of course.
But...
I appreciate their looks when I am in the company of my friends on a random girls night out, and we're just having fun.
Would I exhibit the 'wandering eyes' behavior in front of my man?
NEVER!
Why?
He's the light of my life, and puts a smile to my lips.
Why look at someone else, when the real hot prize is sitting right next to me.
He's my King.
Why disrespect him?
To make him feel, that his time with me isn't worth it? Someone else has caught my eyes?
Her husband is blatantly disrespectful period.
Divorces don't happen because people refuse to work on marriages.
Divorces happen because people have no boundaries in regards to marriages and most relationships.
Posted by Arielle83This should now be default advice for anyone dealing with some douche or fuckboy hahaha.
Give him a jar of Vaseline and disappear into the night.
I can't believe there are women in here blaming the Aries and telling her to stay. Crazy shit.
This is why I will always say Cancers go well with signs who are detached emotionally. My boyfriends parents are Libra woman and Cancer man and his Libra mom is a spoiled brat. Very selfish and self serving. Barely cooks dinner. Not the homemaker motherly type that astrology claims Cancer man falls in love with. Cancer hubby even does the dishes. He dotes on her and she's just like "meh...whatever" ..and they've been married 30+ years.
The more you're stuck up their ass, the more they don't respect you. You'll get emotional fulfillment when they want it and feel like giving it. And you'll stay because yeah, the'yre intuitive enough to be good at giving emotional fulfillment. When they don't feel like it you're expected to keep yourself busy until the mood strikes them again.
The more you're stuck up their ass, the more they don't respect you. You'll get emotional fulfillment when they want it and feel like giving it. And you'll stay because yeah, the'yre intuitive enough to be good at giving emotional fulfillment. When they don't feel like it you're expected to keep yourself busy until the mood strikes them again.
Posted by TaurusBull1977Yes
The marriage is already over.
The marriage should have never happened to begin with.
Do I find other men attractive besides my man?
Of course.
But...
I appreciate their looks when I am in the company of my friends on a random girls night out, and we're just having fun.
Would I exhibit the 'wandering eyes' behavior in front of my man?
NEVER!
Why?
He's the light of my life, and puts a smile to my lips.
Why look at someone else, when the real hot prize is sitting right next to me.
He's my King.
Why disrespect him?
To make him feel, that his time with me isn't worth it? Someone else has caught my eyes?
Her husband is blatantly disrespectful period.
Divorces don't happen because people refuse to work on marriages.
Divorces happen because people have no boundaries in regards to marriages and most relationships.
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