is life really selfish and harsh?

Hey,

i am first time at this forum but i have already checked some threads and answer so i hope you'll help me.

I am 26 and finishing my studies. I am a 'good' person.

I am a woman.

The problem is i have never been an 'a__sshole', i have never cheated i have never taken someone for granted. Some of you may think i am an ideal,some of you may think i am boring.

I am zodiac Aries. Ive always had the nature of organising things, being at the company , leading people. Not in a rude way but people wanted to listen to me. I had good vibes.

The more I see the world outside the university walls the more it scares me. Friends from my university or from my high school that have already graduated some years ago changed.

They became very selfish, self oriented, egoistical. They play with people emotions when it comes to professional issues, business as well as private affairs, relationships.

And now i do not understand.

I can divide being professional from being private. I do not need to have a mask that prevent others hurting me. I used to be very confident even some years ago but then i met some of my old friends and they made me feel very bad.

Like some of them have cut my wings.

I know that next year my saturn will move out from my 5th house and actually in december it 'll akso change sign for the other in general.

i feel better now, more open again.

but i have encountered the feeling like people even friends from high school use people and only befriend them to have some profit. and it scares me.

i do not know whom i need to feel like a private or professional friend.

it is so weird.

i know that i have changed as well but i can not make business with friends.

even your close friends can stick their noses into your business , taking you for granted or taking the most precious things from you that you actually told them with trust.

and i do not know that it is the REAL WORLD.

or am i being too childish ( still)?

i try do do my own things i am trying to focus only on myself now andproject and people that i work with now but there are others that i know wait for someone's moves.

people that do not take you personally but are always mercenary.



is it the world like it is?

or do i need to grow up and be more mature, have bigger mask that prevent others hurting me?

what do you think?



ps. my ex comes from a business family. he is very rich. he picks up girls that are very ambitious and he helps them gain success, be famous and be the 1st in the business. with him they can take the pressure.

i liked him but in a normal personal way. he didnt want to be with me because he saw i am also interested in him personally not in a business way. after me he already had 4-5 new chicks that he 'helps'. being with him means gaining success and money.

i am not like that.

i am not in the company anymore.



people think i didnt take the pressue , that i was too weak that i was not matured enough, more delicate to take the pressure and rules in the company.



but maybe the company was bad?

should i only count on people on a business manner? should i only work and test people and then when they 'pass' my tests being friends with them?

its not cool... when i like someone, i do not care if he or she is black, white, asian, rich, poor... really. i like because i like.

and i have been tested and changed so many times. whenever i gained success THEY were always coming back like i would have proven something to them.



it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—



thank you,

confused aries woman

it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—

thank you,

confused aries woman



Doll you have NOT experienced the other side of the "real world". I work for the Army. When civilians get promoted they walk with their thumbs up their *ass*es and forget where they came from. Peps here "sleep" with others just to get promoted; while others find their SO at work (Army), marry, and then they keep getting promoted. Do I think about this late at night and then get insomnia? Nope! I just mind my own business as God knows how hard I work and will get promoted by "Him" and not by man. My motto is. "I work for God, not for man."

It's called ego; and I don't have one. I am not conceited either. I don't lie, cheat, nor steal (all part of the 10 Commandments). I am striving to work my way to get to heaven as I don't want to go to Hades (AKA hell). Keep in good company with "like minded people" as yourself; steer away from negative peeps. Remember, positive attracts positive.

I was your age once, and thought like you, too. When I worked for the Air Force and now the Army; I talked to God and said, "You REALLY make people different!". I thought everyone was like me, but I was wrong. That's the choice God gave man. Stay strong; stay positive, and stay optimistic. Take care of you and only you! NEVER put a man before God; he should always be #1 and he will abundantly bless you!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by aquarius_man

Posted by marina_
Hey,

i am first time at this forum but i have already checked some threads and answer so i hope you'll help me.

I am 26 and finishing my studies. I am a 'good' person.

I am a woman.

The problem is i have never been an 'a__sshole', i have never cheated i have never taken someone for granted. Some of you may think i am an ideal,some of you may think i am boring.

I am zodiac Aries. Ive always had the nature of organising things, being at the company , leading people. Not in a rude way but people wanted to listen to me. I had good vibes.

The more I see the world outside the university walls the more it scares me. Friends from my university or from my high school that have already graduated some years ago changed.

They became very selfish, self oriented, egoistical. They play with people emotions when it comes to professional issues, business as well as private affairs, relationships.

And now i do not understand.

I can divide being professional from being private. I do not need to have a mask that prevent others hurting me. I used to be very confident even some years ago but then i met some of my old friends and they made me feel very bad.

Like some of them have cut my wings.

I know that next year my saturn will move out from my 5th house and actually in december it 'll akso change sign for the other in general.

i feel better now, more open again.

but i have encountered the feeling like people even friends from high school use people and only befriend them to have some profit. and it scares me.

i do not know whom i need to feel like a private or professional friend.

it is so weird.

i know that i have changed as well but i can not make business with friends.

even your close friends can stick their noses into your business , taking you for granted or taking the most precious things from you that you actually told them with trust.

and i do not know that it is the REAL WORLD.

or am i being too childish ( still)?

i try do do my own things i am trying to focus only on myself now andproject and people that i work with now but there are others that i know wait for someone's moves.

people that do not take you personally but are always mercenary.



is it the world like it is?

or do i need to grow up and be more mature, have bigger mask that prevent others hurting me?

what do you think?



ps. my ex comes from a business family. he is very rich. he picks up girls that are very ambitious and he helps them gain success, be famous and be the 1st in the business. with him they can take the pressure.

i liked him but in a normal personal way. he didnt want to be with me because he saw i am also interested in him personally not in a business way. after me he already had 4-5 new chicks that he 'helps'. being with him means gaining success and money.

i am not like that.

i am not in the company anymore.



people think i didnt take the pressue , that i was too weak that i was not matured enough, more delicate to take the pressure and rules in the company.



but maybe the company was bad?

should i only count on people on a business manner? should i only work and test people and then when they 'pass' my tests being friends with them?

its not cool... when i like someone, i do not care if he or she is black, white, asian, rich, poor... really. i like because i like.

and i have been tested and changed so many times. whenever i gained success THEY were always coming back like i would have proven something to them.



it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—



thank you,

confused aries woman

you re not johanne p, the polish girl who s an aries and complains about the same things, are you?

click to expand

sorry

i am not polish.

if there is a person who has similar experiences with people like me maybe they can join the conversation.

Posted by EvatheDiva
it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—

thank you,

confused aries woman

Doll you have NOT experienced the other side of the "real world". I work for the Army. When civilians get promoted they walk with their thumbs up their *ass*es and forget where they came from. Peps here "sleep" with others just to get promoted; while others find their SO at work (Army), marry, and then they keep getting promoted. Do I think about this late at night and then get insomnia? Nope! I just mind my own business as God knows how hard I work and will get promoted by "Him" and not by man. My motto is. "I work for God, not for man."

It's called ego; and I don't have one. I am not conceited either. I don't lie, cheat, nor steal (all part of the 10 Commandments). I am striving to work my way to get to heaven as I don't want to go to Hades (AKA hell). Keep in good company with "like minded people" as yourself; steer away from negative peeps. Remember, positive attracts positive.

I was your age once, and thought like you, too. When I worked for the Air Force and now the Army; I talked to God and said, "You REALLY make people different!". I thought everyone was like me, but I was wrong. That's the choice God gave man. Stay strong; stay positive, and stay optimistic. Take care of you and only you! NEVER put a man before God; he should always be #1 and he will abundantly bless you!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva





so what do you suggest on doing?

just keep doing my thing?

not thinking about anyone else and not caring about anyone else?

Posted by marina_

Posted by EvatheDiva
it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—

thank you,

confused aries woman

Doll you have NOT experienced the other side of the "real world". I work for the Army. When civilians get promoted they walk with their thumbs up their *ass*es and forget where they came from. Peps here "sleep" with others just to get promoted; while others find their SO at work (Army), marry, and then they keep getting promoted. Do I think about this late at night and then get insomnia? Nope! I just mind my own business as God knows how hard I work and will get promoted by "Him" and not by man. My motto is. "I work for God, not for man."

It's called ego; and I don't have one. I am not conceited either. I don't lie, cheat, nor steal (all part of the 10 Commandments). I am striving to work my way to get to heaven as I don't want to go to Hades (AKA hell). Keep in good company with "like minded people" as yourself; steer away from negative peeps. Remember, positive attracts positive.

I was your age once, and thought like you, too. When I worked for the Air Force and now the Army; I talked to God and said, "You REALLY make people different!". I thought everyone was like me, but I was wrong. That's the choice God gave man. Stay strong; stay positive, and stay optimistic. Take care of you and only you! NEVER put a man before God; he should always be #1 and he will abundantly bless you!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

so what do you suggest on doing?

just keep doing my thing?

not thinking about anyone else and not caring about anyone else?





"Yes" to all. Why? Because you have to think about yourself first in order to not fall into their "spell". To not become a "follow the leader". Be your own leader. Again, you have no control over their thoughts, feelings, actions, etc.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

Posted by EvatheDiva

Posted by marina_

Posted by EvatheDiva
it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—

thank you,

confused aries woman

Doll you have NOT experienced the other side of the "real world". I work for the Army. When civilians get promoted they walk with their thumbs up their *ass*es and forget where they came from. Peps here "sleep" with others just to get promoted; while others find their SO at work (Army), marry, and then they keep getting promoted. Do I think about this late at night and then get insomnia? Nope! I just mind my own business as God knows how hard I work and will get promoted by "Him" and not by man. My motto is. "I work for God, not for man."

It's called ego; and I don't have one. I am not conceited either. I don't lie, cheat, nor steal (all part of the 10 Commandments). I am striving to work my way to get to heaven as I don't want to go to Hades (AKA hell). Keep in good company with "like minded people" as yourself; steer away from negative peeps. Remember, positive attracts positive.

I was your age once, and thought like you, too. When I worked for the Air Force and now the Army; I talked to God and said, "You REALLY make people different!". I thought everyone was like me, but I was wrong. That's the choice God gave man. Stay strong; stay positive, and stay optimistic. Take care of you and only you! NEVER put a man before God; he should always be #1 and he will abundantly bless you!

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

so what do you suggest on doing?

just keep doing my thing?

not thinking about anyone else and not caring about anyone else?

"Yes" to all. Why? Because you have to think about yourself first in order to not fall into their "spell". To not become a "follow the leader". Be your own leader. Again, you have no control over their thoughts, feelings, actions, etc.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva





i used to be very nice and people perceived me as a weak person.

when i started to avoid old fake people i decided that noone would tell e what i should do.

i can only rely on myself. but how to be that strong all life?

how to know if someone is worth putting the effort in or not?

how to delicately test people? i dont wanna be actually recognised as a selfish or stubborn person.

i would like to diplomatically do my own business but focus on my own priorities first.

how not to fall into their 'spell'?

i have aries friends from high school and they behave not like aries.

we have always been 'nice'.

the stereotype of an aries person does not suit us. even i have aries male friends who never behaved like super alpha male.

maybe its just how it is.

sometimes i read those horoscopes and i wonder how people would be put in one 'pocket' like that.

for example fire signs suit the best together. i have never had a relationship with a fire man. only with taurus or aquarius.

and i do not have those placements or planets in my chart.

Posted by aquarius_man

Posted by marina_

Posted by aquarius_man

Posted by marina_
Hey,

i am first time at this forum but i have already checked some threads and answer so i hope you'll help me.

I am 26 and finishing my studies. I am a 'good' person.

I am a woman.

The problem is i have never been an 'a__sshole', i have never cheated i have never taken someone for granted. Some of you may think i am an ideal,some of you may think i am boring.

I am zodiac Aries. Ive always had the nature of organising things, being at the company , leading people. Not in a rude way but people wanted to listen to me. I had good vibes.

The more I see the world outside the university walls the more it scares me. Friends from my university or from my high school that have already graduated some years ago changed.

They became very selfish, self oriented, egoistical. They play with people emotions when it comes to professional issues, business as well as private affairs, relationships.

And now i do not understand.

I can divide being professional from being private. I do not need to have a mask that prevent others hurting me. I used to be very confident even some years ago but then i met some of my old friends and they made me feel very bad.

Like some of them have cut my wings.

I know that next year my saturn will move out from my 5th house and actually in december it 'll akso change sign for the other in general.

i feel better now, more open again.

but i have encountered the feeling like people even friends from high school use people and only befriend them to have some profit. and it scares me.

i do not know whom i need to feel like a private or professional friend.

it is so weird.

i know that i have changed as well but i can not make business with friends.

even your close friends can stick their noses into your business , taking you for granted or taking the most precious things from you that you actually told them with trust.

and i do not know that it is the REAL WORLD.

or am i being too childish ( still)?

i try do do my own things i am trying to focus only on myself now andproject and people that i work with now but there are others that i know wait for someone's moves.

people that do not take you personally but are always mercenary.



is it the world like it is?

or do i need to grow up and be more mature, have bigger mask that prevent others hurting me?

what do you think?



ps. my ex comes from a business family. he is very rich. he picks up girls that are very ambitious and he helps them gain success, be famous and be the 1st in the business. with him they can take the pressure.

i liked him but in a normal personal way. he didnt want to be with me because he saw i am also interested in him personally not in a business way. after me he already had 4-5 new chicks that he 'helps'. being with him means gaining success and money.

i am not like that.

i am not in the company anymore.



people think i didnt take the pressue , that i was too weak that i was not matured enough, more delicate to take the pressure and rules in the company.



but maybe the company was bad?

should i only count on people on a business manner? should i only work and test people and then when they 'pass' my tests being friends with them?

its not cool... when i like someone, i do not care if he or she is black, white, asian, rich, poor... really. i like because i like.

and i have been tested and changed so many times. whenever i gained success THEY were always coming back like i would have proven something to them.



it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—



thank you,

confused aries woman

you re not johanne p, the polish girl who s an aries and complains about the same things, are you?

sorry

i am not polish.

if there is a person who has similar experiences with people like me maybe they can join the conversation.

yes i think most aries girls on dxp can relate. but look for that topic opened by johanne_p about aries always ending up alone...why 😢

click to expand

Thank you. I will take a look at this!

1. I used to be very nice and people perceived me as a weak person. CONTINUE to be a "nice person". When felt like a "door mat" that's when you speak up for yourself. If you erupt quickly like a volcano erruiting hot lava; then that's when you're perceived as being a *B*itch*. I am Piscean. I am "nice" like you, too. BUT I keep it all bottled up inside of me. I take, and take, and take and take...then I erupt like said hot lava. At work I HAVE to speak my mind! Example: A woman at work (Diana), came to me and said, "Eva, you've been asking Mike to do something on his OneStaff, I don't want to hear a long story from you, but tell me what you want from him." I immediately told Diana, "Diana, I have that RIGHT to speak my peace as you know what's been going on with Mike since I send you a cc via email, please ALLOW me to tell you MY side of the story" THEN I proceeded to explain to her. I HAD to put my foot down since Mike is so DENSE (he's a GS-11) and I am a GS-07....I have to constantly, CONSTANTLY correct Mike on his errors and his boss, Diana, has the AUDACITY to say, "He doesn't go TDY (travel) that much" "Uh, no Diana, I beg to differ, he just went TDY two weeks ago and is STILL submitting the form wrong!". PS: Diana is NOT my boss. I have a first and second line supervisor.

SCENARIO #2 (being a nice person): I walk in the office every morning and Diana has the keys to the office (meaning she's an early bird; we use our bldg badges to come in the office). I say my salutations because I am the "professional" that I am and I don't hold grudges; BUT we keep the distance between us and just talk to one another if it pertains to work related issues. Period.

when i started to avoid old fake people i decided that no one "should" tell me what I should do. Exacly! (See #1 that I posted). Good for you! Even HERE on DXP I have "cyber" peeps (who are STRANGERS) tell me, "Block me if you want to". My response: "Uh, I am Piscean, I don't like to be told what to do". Same as you. Inform peeps of the same.

i can only rely on myself. but how to be that strong all life? Take one day at a time.

how to know if someone is worth putting the effort in or not? By their actions.

how to delicately test people? When you touch a stove and KNOW it's hot, you put on an oven mitt, right? Same thing. When you KNOW it's cold outside, you dip your toe in the water to test it, right? Well, you do the same thing.

i don't wanna be actually recognized as a selfish or stubborn person. That's MY pet peeve as Piscean. We are labeled as being "Selfish" (here on DXP) but I speak up and address this issue. Same thing with you with family, friends, work, etc. Now, about stubborn. I've NEVER bee told I am "stubborn". If I am right I stick to my beliefs; and speak up to others who think otherwise. This sounds to me as if you have allot to explain to peeps and that's okay! They don't know you until you tell them how you feel or how they are making you feel.

i would like to diplomatically do my own business but focus on my own priorities first. Then you'll know how to do this. Going back to taking care of yourself first makes sense to me. If you get sick who will take care of you? You. I'm a single parent. I've "tested" a man, who was Cancerian (I was dating him). I came back from visiting my bff from California; mind you the Texas weather is hot and when I came home my back lawn need MAJOR mowing. I asked Cancerian if he would mow the lawn for me and he said, "Yes". My oldest son, took care of his younger brother, while I was in CA. My oldest son put regular gasoline in my weeder. When I came home, said Cancerian came to visit me. I started my weeder and "we" (my son doesn't live w/me); Cancerian and I figured the wrong gasoline was used (weeder is a red solution). Well, Cancerian told me, "Call your son! As him, who, what, when, where, why". I was like looking at my weeder and thinking to myself, "Is this going to SOLVE the problem?" I've got home owner's association who inform me I will get a fine if I don't mow my lawn!

The Piscean (temper) in me, pushed my way around him, went to the garage, grabbed my lawn mower, and was pushing my way over the ankle high grass. Damn lawnmower would turn off on me 10 times! I HAD to push the damn thing "up" to remove the grass that was stuck on the blades! Needless to say, it took me 45 minutes to mow my lawn! I kept saying to myself, "Who the hell needs a man?! I can do this myself!". Doll, this is MY way of "testing" men in my life. IF, if they want to be a part of my life, then their ACTIONS will show me they are worth being a part of my life! There is no wrong doing in "testing" people that come across in your lifetime. You'll know their "motives".

how not to fall into their 'spell'?



too tired to answer last question....I am drained. Not you; but me.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS: I HOPE you appreciate my post.

1. I used to be very nice and people perceived me as a weak person. CONTINUE to be a "nice person". When felt like a "door mat" that's when you speak up for yourself. If you erupt quickly like a volcano erruiting hot lava; then that's when you're perceived as being a *B*itch*. I am Piscean. I am "nice" like you, too. BUT I keep it all bottled up inside of me. I take, and take, and take and take...then I erupt like said hot lava. At work I HAVE to speak my mind! Example: A woman at work (Diana), came to me and said, "Eva, you've been asking Mike to do something on his OneStaff, I don't want to hear a long story from you, but tell me what you want from him." I immediately told Diana, "Diana, I have that RIGHT to speak my peace as you know what's been going on with Mike since I send you a cc via email, please ALLOW me to tell you MY side of the story" THEN I proceeded to explain to her. I HAD to put my foot down since Mike is so DENSE (he's a GS-11) and I am a GS-07....I have to constantly, CONSTANTLY correct Mike on his errors and his boss, Diana, has the AUDACITY to say, "He doesn't go TDY (travel) that much" "Uh, no Diana, I beg to differ, he just went TDY two weeks ago and is STILL submitting the form wrong!".

SCENARIO #2 (being a nice person): I walk in the office every morning and Diana has the keys to the office (meaning she's an early bird; we use our bldg badges to come in the office). I say my salutations because I am the "professional" that I am and I don't hold grudges; BUT we keep the distance between us and just talk to one another if it pertains to work related issues. Period.

when i started to avoid old fake people i decided that no one "should" tell me what I should do. Exacly! (See #1 that I posted). Good for you! Even HERE on DXP I have "cyber" peeps (who are STRANGERS) tell me, "Block me if you want to". My response: "Uh, I am Piscean, I don't like to be told what to do". Same as you. Inform peeps of the same.

i can only rely on myself. but how to be that strong all life? Take one day at a time.

how to know if someone is worth putting the effort in or not? By their actions.

how to delicately test people? When you touch a stove and KNOW it's hot, you put on an oven mitt, right? Same thing. When you KNOW it's cold outside, you dip your toe in the water to test it, right? Well, you do the same thing.

i don't wanna be actually recognized as a selfish or stubborn person. That's MY pet peeve as Piscean. We are labeled as being "Selfish" (here on DXP) but I speak up and address this issue. Same thing with you with family, friends, work, etc. Now, about stubborn. I've NEVER bee told I am "stubborn". If I am right I stick to my beliefs; and speak up to others who think otherwise. This sounds to me as if you have allot to explain to peeps and that's okay! They don't know you until you tell them how you feel or how they are making you feel.

i would like to diplomatically do my own business but focus on my own priorities first. Then you'll know how to do this. Going back to taking care of yourself first makes sense to me. If you get sick who will take care of you? You. I'm a single parent. I've "tested" a man, who was Cancerian (I was dating him). I came back from visiting my bff from California; mind you the Texas weather is hot and when I came home my back lawn need MAJOR mowing. I asked Cancerian if he would mow the lawn for me and he said, "Yes". My oldest son, took care of his younger brother, while I was in CA. My oldest son put regular gasoline in my weeder. When I came home, said Cancerian came to visit me. I started my weeder and "we" (my son doesn't live w/me); Cancerian and I figured the wrong gasoline was used (weeder is a red solution). Well, Cancerian told me, "Call your son! As him, who, what, when, where, why". I was like looking at my weeder and thinking to myself, "Is this going to SOLVE the problem?" I've got home owner's association who inform me I will get a fine if I don't mow my lawn!

The Piscean (temper) in me, pushed my way around him, went to the garage, grabbed my lawn mower, and was pushing my way over the ankle high grass. Damn lawnmower would turn off on me 10 times! I HAD to push the damn thing "up" to remove the grass that was stuck on the blades! Needless to say, it took me 45 minutes to mow my lawn! I kept saying to myself, "Who the hell needs a man?! I can do this myself!". Doll, this is MY way of "testing" men in my life. IF, if they want to be a part of my life, then their ACTIONS will show me they are worth being a part of my life! There is no wrong doing in "testing" people that come across in your lifetime. You'll know their "motives".

how not to fall into their 'spell'?



too tired to answer last question....I am drained. Not you; but me.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS: I HOPE you appreciate my post.

1. I used to be very nice and people perceived me as a weak person. CONTINUE to be a "nice person". When felt like a "door mat" that's when you speak up for yourself. If you erupt quickly like a volcano errupting hot lava; then that's when you're perceived as being a *B*itch*. I am Piscean. I am "nice" like you, too. BUT I keep it all bottled up inside of me. I take, and take, and take and take...then I erupt like said hot lava. At work I HAVE to speak my mind! Example: A woman at work (Diana), came to me and said, "Eva, you've been asking Mike to do something on his OneStaff, I don't want to hear a long story from you, but tell me what you want from him." I immediately told Diana, "Diana, I have that RIGHT to speak my peace as you know what's been going on with Mike since I send you a cc via email, please ALLOW me to tell you MY side of the story" THEN I proceeded to explain to her. I HAD to put my foot down since Mike is so DENSE (he's a GS-11) and I am a GS-07....I have to constantly, CONSTANTLY correct Mike on his errors and his boss, Diana, has the AUDACITY to say, "He doesn't go TDY (travel) that much" "Uh, no Diana, I beg to differ, he just went TDY two weeks ago and is STILL submitting the form wrong!".

SCENARIO #2 (being a nice person): I walk in the office every morning and Diana has the keys to the office (meaning she's an early bird; we use our bldg badges to come in the office). I say my salutations because I am the "professional" that I am and I don't hold grudges; BUT we keep the distance between us and just talk to one another if it pertains to work related issues. Period.

when i started to avoid old fake people i decided that no one "should" tell me what I should do. Exacly! (See #1 that I posted). Good for you! Even HERE on DXP I have "cyber" peeps (who are STRANGERS) tell me, "Block me if you want to". My response: "Uh, I am Piscean, I don't like to be told what to do". Same as you. Inform peeps of the same.

i can only rely on myself. but how to be that strong all life? Take one day at a time.

how to know if someone is worth putting the effort in or not? By their actions.

how to delicately test people? When you touch a stove and KNOW it's hot, you put on an oven mitt, right? Same thing. When you KNOW it's cold outside, you dip your toe in the water to test it, right? Well, you do the same thing.

i don't wanna be actually recognized as a selfish or stubborn person. That's MY pet peeve as Piscean. We are labeled as being "Selfish" (here on DXP) but I speak up and address this issue. Same thing with you with family, friends, work, etc. Now, about stubborn. I've NEVER bee told I am "stubborn". If I am right I stick to my beliefs; and speak up to others who think otherwise. This sounds to me as if you have allot to explain to peeps and that's okay! They don't know you until you tell them how you feel or how they are making you feel.

i would like to diplomatically do my own business but focus on my own priorities first. Then you'll know how to do this. Going back to taking care of yourself first makes sense to me. If you get sick who will take care of you? You. I'm a single parent. I've "tested" a man, who was Cancerian (I was dating him). I came back from visiting my bff from California; mind you the Texas weather is hot and when I came home my back lawn need MAJOR mowing. I asked Cancerian if he would mow the lawn for me and he said, "Yes". My oldest son, took care of his younger brother, while I was in CA. My oldest son put regular gasoline in my weeder. When I came home, said Cancerian came to visit me. I started my weeder and "we" (my son doesn't live w/me); Cancerian and I figured the wrong gasoline was used (weeder is a red solution). Well, Cancerian told me, "Call your son! As him, who, what, when, where, why". I was like looking at my weeder and thinking to myself, "Is this going to SOLVE the problem?" I've got home owner's association who inform me I will get a fine if I don't mow my lawn!

The Piscean (temper) in me, pushed my way around him, went to the garage, grabbed my lawn mower, and was pushing my way over the ankle high grass. Damn lawnmower would turn off on me 10 times! I HAD to push the damn thing "up" to remove the grass that was stuck on the blades! Needless to say, it took me 45 minutes to mow my lawn! I kept saying to myself, "Who the hell needs a man?! I can do this myself!". After I came in the house said Cancerian was on the phone, "I will be home soon, son". I asked him to leave and to take his Jack Daniels w/him. He left it behind. That was in July and I haven't spoken to him since (blocked him on my cell AND FB). He LIED when he said he didn't have FB....my test #2 on him and he failed! He was a "liar". He had peeked into my FB and I KNEW it! That's when I blocked him.

Doll, this is MY way of "testing" men in my life. IF, if they want to be a part of my life, then their ACTIONS will show me they are worth being a part of my life! There is no wrong doing in "testing" people that come across in your lifetime. You'll know their "motives".

how not to fall into their 'spell'?



too tired to answer last question....I am drained. Not you; but me.

🤗 cyber hugs!

Love,

Eva

PS: I HOPE you appreciate my post.

Posted by nano
Yes life is really difficult, selfish, harsh, cold, etc.

The sooner you learn that it’s not fair and the sooner you learn how to play it, the better off you’ll be.

It’s not always that way, sometimes you see fleeting glimmers of hope and happiness, connection, etc.

Good people are few and far between.

Really, it’s just what you make of it.

so how can i change myself to be able to play in life?

if its what is supposed to be?

because now i am living my life.

mayeb i should bemore assertive and more stubborn when it comes to my issues?

no idea.

Yes, life is harsh, selfish and unfair. However you don't need to stand expectations, you will never be good enough. Be who you are, and focus on to gain experience and put your knowledge in the right place. Not worrying about you, aries knows how to go through different up and downs.

I think you sounded like Joanne_p and 199411 something like that.

Posted by nano

Posted by marina_

Posted by nano
Yes life is really difficult, selfish, harsh, cold, etc.

The sooner you learn that it’s not fair and the sooner you learn how to play it, the better off you’ll be.

It’s not always that way, sometimes you see fleeting glimmers of hope and happiness, connection, etc.

Good people are few and far between.

Really, it’s just what you make of it.

so how can i change myself to be able to play in life?

if its what is supposed to be?

because now i am living my life.

mayeb i should bemore assertive and more stubborn when it comes to my issues?

no idea.

I think that it’s something you’ll grow into with age and experience... I noticed you said that you were 26? Do you consider yourself to have been very sheltered?

click to expand

Hey,

yes i am 26. You are right i sometimes feel like i have been sheltered all my life and i just came to the life- experience 3 years ago or similar. Because I got some new job, I met new people.

I do not know. Among my friends i am considered as an organised person, very independent but I do not feel like that.

Anyway I can organise things and etc but somehow i feel like i need to be pushed by someone. Not by myself. Like i am not capable ( yet) of doing things on my own, and idk makind decisions.

And its about age and life experienced. It is strange i feel like a child still. I sometimes do not feel responsible for my actions.

I remember even 2 years ago I could blame someone for something that didnt work from my fault.

I have siblings as well. A brother and sister who are younger than me. They are also 'not responsible'. STILL asking parents for advices, for little helps.

I remember when I started studying and working my parents were very protective and perceived me still like a teenager. Like they would not want to push me into life, because they knew life is hard.

But this lack of 'life competence', life experience now seems very difficult for me.



My other friends seem more matured, more serious. My siblings analyse things so much, especially my younger brother. He does not seem like a man.

i do not want to be perceived as an immature person.

i understand the dark.

but i dont want to understand the dark as drugs, sex with the boss to get a job and dangerous things your friends would do to you.

ihave never experienced that but i know they expist. i do not want to be a part of it.

and some of the people are part of it and tell it because they think its a 'mature world'.

its not. its a choice.

i chose not to be a part of that world but i know it exists.

Posted by aquarius_man

Posted by marina_
Hey,

i am first time at this forum but i have already checked some threads and answer so i hope you'll help me.

I am 26 and finishing my studies. I am a 'good' person.

I am a woman.

The problem is i have never been an 'a__sshole', i have never cheated i have never taken someone for granted. Some of you may think i am an ideal,some of you may think i am boring.

I am zodiac Aries. Ive always had the nature of organising things, being at the company , leading people. Not in a rude way but people wanted to listen to me. I had good vibes.

The more I see the world outside the university walls the more it scares me. Friends from my university or from my high school that have already graduated some years ago changed.

They became very selfish, self oriented, egoistical. They play with people emotions when it comes to professional issues, business as well as private affairs, relationships.

And now i do not understand.

I can divide being professional from being private. I do not need to have a mask that prevent others hurting me. I used to be very confident even some years ago but then i met some of my old friends and they made me feel very bad.

Like some of them have cut my wings.

I know that next year my saturn will move out from my 5th house and actually in december it 'll akso change sign for the other in general.

i feel better now, more open again.

but i have encountered the feeling like people even friends from high school use people and only befriend them to have some profit. and it scares me.

i do not know whom i need to feel like a private or professional friend.

it is so weird.

i know that i have changed as well but i can not make business with friends.

even your close friends can stick their noses into your business , taking you for granted or taking the most precious things from you that you actually told them with trust.

and i do not know that it is the REAL WORLD.

or am i being too childish ( still)?

i try do do my own things i am trying to focus only on myself now andproject and people that i work with now but there are others that i know wait for someone's moves.

people that do not take you personally but are always mercenary.



is it the world like it is?

or do i need to grow up and be more mature, have bigger mask that prevent others hurting me?

what do you think?



ps. my ex comes from a business family. he is very rich. he picks up girls that are very ambitious and he helps them gain success, be famous and be the 1st in the business. with him they can take the pressure.

i liked him but in a normal personal way. he didnt want to be with me because he saw i am also interested in him personally not in a business way. after me he already had 4-5 new chicks that he 'helps'. being with him means gaining success and money.

i am not like that.

i am not in the company anymore.



people think i didnt take the pressue , that i was too weak that i was not matured enough, more delicate to take the pressure and rules in the company.



but maybe the company was bad?

should i only count on people on a business manner? should i only work and test people and then when they 'pass' my tests being friends with them?

its not cool... when i like someone, i do not care if he or she is black, white, asian, rich, poor... really. i like because i like.

and i have been tested and changed so many times. whenever i gained success THEY were always coming back like i would have proven something to them.



it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—



thank you,

confused aries woman

you re not johanne p, the polish girl who s an aries and complains about the same things, are you?

click to expand

I Got that same vibe.

I was very idealistic when I was younger and thought like you. Thinking everyone was “good” and “nice”. The more I got hurt, the more it opened my eyes to the realities of life. You have to be strategic about life and people. I always have a mask now in love and business.

Posted by nano
Yes life is really difficult, selfish, harsh, cold, etc.

The sooner you learn that it’s not fair and the sooner you learn how to play it, the better off you’ll be.

It’s not always that way, sometimes you see fleeting glimmers of hope and happiness, connection, etc.

Good people are few and far between.

Really, it’s just what you make of it.

So it's best NOT to learn it, and keep the world innocent and sweet and naive isn't it— As much as possible. Donlt think about YOUR well being, think about the greater good.

Don't make the world COLDER.....😰

💔

don't let them get you

Posted by marina_
Hey,

i am first time at this forum but i have already checked some threads and answer so i hope you'll help me.

I am 26 and finishing my studies. I am a 'good' person.

I am a woman.

The problem is i have never been an 'a__sshole', i have never cheated i have never taken someone for granted. Some of you may think i am an ideal,some of you may think i am boring.

I am zodiac Aries. Ive always had the nature of organising things, being at the company , leading people. Not in a rude way but people wanted to listen to me. I had good vibes.

The more I see the world outside the university walls the more it scares me. Friends from my university or from my high school that have already graduated some years ago changed.

They became very selfish, self oriented, egoistical. They play with people emotions when it comes to professional issues, business as well as private affairs, relationships.

And now i do not understand.

I can divide being professional from being private. I do not need to have a mask that prevent others hurting me. I used to be very confident even some years ago but then i met some of my old friends and they made me feel very bad.

Like some of them have cut my wings.

I know that next year my saturn will move out from my 5th house and actually in december it 'll akso change sign for the other in general.

i feel better now, more open again.

but i have encountered the feeling like people even friends from high school use people and only befriend them to have some profit. and it scares me.

i do not know whom i need to feel like a private or professional friend.

it is so weird.

i know that i have changed as well but i can not make business with friends.

even your close friends can stick their noses into your business , taking you for granted or taking the most precious things from you that you actually told them with trust.

and i do not know that it is the REAL WORLD.

or am i being too childish ( still)?

i try do do my own things i am trying to focus only on myself now andproject and people that i work with now but there are others that i know wait for someone's moves.

people that do not take you personally but are always mercenary.



is it the world like it is?

or do i need to grow up and be more mature, have bigger mask that prevent others hurting me?

what do you think?



ps. my ex comes from a business family. he is very rich. he picks up girls that are very ambitious and he helps them gain success, be famous and be the 1st in the business. with him they can take the pressure.

i liked him but in a normal personal way. he didnt want to be with me because he saw i am also interested in him personally not in a business way. after me he already had 4-5 new chicks that he 'helps'. being with him means gaining success and money.

i am not like that.

i am not in the company anymore.



people think i didnt take the pressue , that i was too weak that i was not matured enough, more delicate to take the pressure and rules in the company.



but maybe the company was bad?

should i only count on people on a business manner? should i only work and test people and then when they 'pass' my tests being friends with them?

its not cool... when i like someone, i do not care if he or she is black, white, asian, rich, poor... really. i like because i like.

and i have been tested and changed so many times. whenever i gained success THEY were always coming back like i would have proven something to them.



it is not the way its supposed to be...

or maybe it is?

is life like that—



thank you,

confused aries woman

Yes, life IS harsh, difficult, competitive, shallow, dangerous, and filled with people who don't have it as good as you. Life's circumstances, bad habits and poor choices lead some people to become desperate.

As you get older, you'll also realize that it's about what you can do for people and vice versa. Sometimes it's subtle, other times it's so obvious.

Us Aries tend to go out into the world still seeing the wonder, still caring, but we do find it hard when we realize that the rest of the world is not the same. It's not how the world should be but as an Aries, you might find you succeed naturally. You will get a lot of opposition, jealousy etc from others. You can't really trust them to look after your best interests. You have to do that yourself. YOu obviously have good ethics. Protect them and keep that beautiful side of your nature for people who love you and shield yourself (I use polite distance to achieve this) from the rest. Be careful not to take what other people say as gospel. You need to look into things and double check them. Do these things and keep looking on the bright side. It's what gets us through when others cave. Never give up on yourself. You'll be just fine 🙂