PhoenixScorpio
@PhoenixScorpio
15 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 56 · Topics: 2
Need advice from Aries women
Yeah it just frustrates me to no end. I'm also friend w/ her sister & she was planning on having a party in her basement. She wanted me to attend, but this Aries girl said she wouldn't even leave her room if I was there. The party never happened, but I just don't understand why she avoids me like this.
I don't know if she just doesn't care at all or that I make her so nervous that she doesn't wanna be around me.
Either way I'm almost up to my last oz. of patience w/ her. It really hurts me to be in this situation w/ her because when Scorpios love they love hard. They really put their heart & soul into any relationship whether it's just friendship or romantic one.
I just thought we had more of a relationship than this, but from her actions it seems like she just doesn't care.
I don't know if she just doesn't care at all or that I make her so nervous that she doesn't wanna be around me.
Either way I'm almost up to my last oz. of patience w/ her. It really hurts me to be in this situation w/ her because when Scorpios love they love hard. They really put their heart & soul into any relationship whether it's just friendship or romantic one.
I just thought we had more of a relationship than this, but from her actions it seems like she just doesn't care.
And your friend sounds a lot like my friend except she'll talk to me all day everyday on AIM. She'll message me, but when it comes to seeing me. Nope. Most of the times I see her is because it's been convenient like you said. Or circumstance, but as far as making any sort of effort. Nothing.
She doesn't go out too often either. I said she sees her other friends, but that doesn't even happen too often. If they come in from out of town yeah or if they get tickets to a show she'll go. She really just stays home & sleeps, watches tv, plays video games, watches movies, surfs the internet, & reads most of the time.
She has let herself get overweight by about 30 maybe 40lbs. It's funny cuz I haven't seen her in so long I thought I wouldn't recognize her. But I saw her in the background on a 10 O'clock news clip when she was at an event last month. When you have to catch your best friend in the background on the news to even get a glimpse of her then you know it's bad. lol
Quite honestly she isn't in the best state right now, but I'm to the point where I almost don't care. But I do.
She doesn't go out too often either. I said she sees her other friends, but that doesn't even happen too often. If they come in from out of town yeah or if they get tickets to a show she'll go. She really just stays home & sleeps, watches tv, plays video games, watches movies, surfs the internet, & reads most of the time.
She has let herself get overweight by about 30 maybe 40lbs. It's funny cuz I haven't seen her in so long I thought I wouldn't recognize her. But I saw her in the background on a 10 O'clock news clip when she was at an event last month. When you have to catch your best friend in the background on the news to even get a glimpse of her then you know it's bad. lol
Quite honestly she isn't in the best state right now, but I'm to the point where I almost don't care. But I do.
You sound like a true friend but this girl's got problems! Looks like she may have low self-esteem and is afraid of seeing you in person because of her weight gain or self-esteem issues. She may just be to insecure to see you. If she likes you and isn't happy with the way she looks, she will not want you to see her so don't take it personally. This is not an Aries trait because if we like you we want to be with you but I think they only way she feels comfortable is thru the internet.
Thank you. Both of you for the great replies. I've been browsing this forum & it seems like a very positive community. I don't see much immaturity, fighting, & bickering here that is in most forums these days. I think I might stay here for awhile. I really like how everyone treats each other here.
But Mistery. I think you might have a point. I always thought maybe she was insecure, but I brushed it off. I told her repeatedly that I don't care if she's fat. I mean if you speak to someone for about 3 years on AIM & never see them once while still managing to love them strongly. Obviously you don't love them for their body, right?
She is a beautiful girl when I last saw her in like 2008. But you see I always found it weird that she wouldn't even send me a picture of her. Really when I saw the news clip last month was the first time I've seen her since 2008 (By the way in my last post I said "Most of the times I see her." but that was a typo. I meant to say "Most of the times I've seen her.").
On top of that she is losing her hair & eyebrows so she tells me. She's so insecure about it she will not leave the house without a hat on. On top of that it's so bad that she will not take a job where she can't wear a hat. But she showed me pictures of her hair loss. She said I was the only person she would show them to. But I don't care about all of that. I told her I don't care if she's fat, growing bald, & has no eyebrows. I don't love her body, even though she had a beautiful body last time I saw her, I love her!!!
What's also interesting is she said she would see me in Sept. after she lost weight. We sorta made a bet that if she lost weight I would have to take her out, but I didn't take that all too seriously because you can't take anything she says in good faith. She'll say one thing & back out last minute. And who am I to be waiting till Sept. after I haven't seen in years.
But Mistery. I think you might have a point. I always thought maybe she was insecure, but I brushed it off. I told her repeatedly that I don't care if she's fat. I mean if you speak to someone for about 3 years on AIM & never see them once while still managing to love them strongly. Obviously you don't love them for their body, right?
She is a beautiful girl when I last saw her in like 2008. But you see I always found it weird that she wouldn't even send me a picture of her. Really when I saw the news clip last month was the first time I've seen her since 2008 (By the way in my last post I said "Most of the times I see her." but that was a typo. I meant to say "Most of the times I've seen her.").
On top of that she is losing her hair & eyebrows so she tells me. She's so insecure about it she will not leave the house without a hat on. On top of that it's so bad that she will not take a job where she can't wear a hat. But she showed me pictures of her hair loss. She said I was the only person she would show them to. But I don't care about all of that. I told her I don't care if she's fat, growing bald, & has no eyebrows. I don't love her body, even though she had a beautiful body last time I saw her, I love her!!!
What's also interesting is she said she would see me in Sept. after she lost weight. We sorta made a bet that if she lost weight I would have to take her out, but I didn't take that all too seriously because you can't take anything she says in good faith. She'll say one thing & back out last minute. And who am I to be waiting till Sept. after I haven't seen in years.
Let me finish this & try to be concise. As a Scorpio we can be intense & I can write a novel without trying once I get started. On top of that I type about 80 words per minute. lol I have Scorpio in Sun, Mercury, Saturn, Pluto, & as a Midheaven so it says on my chart.
But tonight I finally had enough. What pushed me over the edge was that she refused to make any attempt whatsoever to make this right. She knew how much I was hurt by her lack of caring & action. I mean you know how Scorpios could be. They don't hold back once they're hurt & I've been holding back for years so I really let her have it.
I told her that she better speak her heart out & if I ever meant anything to her she better tell me now because if I walk away I'm not looking back. Tell me how she didn't say one word. Not one. I waited for about an hour & didn't say anything. Then I looked on her twitter & she's sitting there laughing on twitter about some picture she took of a cup & a toy while I'm waiting trying to save our friendship. But she doesn't really show weakness too well even though I can read her like a book.
It's funny I thought Arians are supposed to like confrontation & be brave. She was quiet as a church mouse. She just let me walk away without even attempting to say anything. This was at a different time, but she told me that she told me she loves me & she doesn't know what she can do to make me believe her & I said it's because I can't see it. I know she does honestly. She really does, but she just won't make any attempt at all to spend any type of time w/ me other than AIM. So I signed off. I'm done.
She keeps saying she's a bad friend, she's sorry, she accepts it, & she's not content w/ it. But she's not doing anything about it & I don't have to put up w/ this.
But does any of this sound familiar to some Aries women here? I need help because I'm lost.
But do her characteris
But tonight I finally had enough. What pushed me over the edge was that she refused to make any attempt whatsoever to make this right. She knew how much I was hurt by her lack of caring & action. I mean you know how Scorpios could be. They don't hold back once they're hurt & I've been holding back for years so I really let her have it.
I told her that she better speak her heart out & if I ever meant anything to her she better tell me now because if I walk away I'm not looking back. Tell me how she didn't say one word. Not one. I waited for about an hour & didn't say anything. Then I looked on her twitter & she's sitting there laughing on twitter about some picture she took of a cup & a toy while I'm waiting trying to save our friendship. But she doesn't really show weakness too well even though I can read her like a book.
It's funny I thought Arians are supposed to like confrontation & be brave. She was quiet as a church mouse. She just let me walk away without even attempting to say anything. This was at a different time, but she told me that she told me she loves me & she doesn't know what she can do to make me believe her & I said it's because I can't see it. I know she does honestly. She really does, but she just won't make any attempt at all to spend any type of time w/ me other than AIM. So I signed off. I'm done.
She keeps saying she's a bad friend, she's sorry, she accepts it, & she's not content w/ it. But she's not doing anything about it & I don't have to put up w/ this.
But does any of this sound familiar to some Aries women here? I need help because I'm lost.
But do her characteris
Sorry about the last part. I'm still getting used to this board.
I was gonna say "But do her characteristics seem like something an Aries would do?" but I changed my mind. Now that I had to say it do they? Or she just has issues?
And Amethyst2002 mentioned her upbringing. You might be onto something too because she's very timid. She was raised by 2 domineering Asian parents that were very strict. She also let's her younger Aquarius sister totally boss her around. I don't know what type of Aries this is, but from what I read about the sign she seems like a little sheep than a brave powerful ram. lol
I was gonna say "But do her characteristics seem like something an Aries would do?" but I changed my mind. Now that I had to say it do they? Or she just has issues?
And Amethyst2002 mentioned her upbringing. You might be onto something too because she's very timid. She was raised by 2 domineering Asian parents that were very strict. She also let's her younger Aquarius sister totally boss her around. I don't know what type of Aries this is, but from what I read about the sign she seems like a little sheep than a brave powerful ram. lol
Let me make two points about astrology before I get to the heart of the matter:
1) We all have other aspects in our natal charts that make us all different and unique, for example she maybe has an Aries sun but has a Cancer moon or something. I know my Libra moon softens my Aries nature quite a bit. So maybe you need to look that up.
2) As Aries our ruling planet is Mars (which is also the God of war) so we do have a brash and brave like exterior but being the first sign we represent the infant, innocent and vulnerable. As the symbol of the infant we require a lot attention and our biggest fear is rejection.
That being said... I feel that fear isn't manifested until we've experienced rejection, so if we never do we can live our lives as blissful little babies. It would have to be a pretty deep cutting rejection though, as Aries we can burn our hands on the stove once and still touch it again
1) We all have other aspects in our natal charts that make us all different and unique, for example she maybe has an Aries sun but has a Cancer moon or something. I know my Libra moon softens my Aries nature quite a bit. So maybe you need to look that up.
2) As Aries our ruling planet is Mars (which is also the God of war) so we do have a brash and brave like exterior but being the first sign we represent the infant, innocent and vulnerable. As the symbol of the infant we require a lot attention and our biggest fear is rejection.
That being said... I feel that fear isn't manifested until we've experienced rejection, so if we never do we can live our lives as blissful little babies. It would have to be a pretty deep cutting rejection though, as Aries we can burn our hands on the stove once and still touch it again
I know from experience that once we've felt that kind of rejection it's hard to face people and really open up again...??
Especially, I can imagine, would be very difficult with low self-esteem.
So what I'm getting at:
It seems from your description of her she really just has a self-esteem issue because honestly women are a little more complex. As an Aries I wouldn't bother to get that angry unless I really liked the person... But than I am me, I can't speak for her. Either she does really care about you and is just too insecure to admit or she just really likes the attention you give her and doesn't really care for you. The only way to know is to ask her, trust me it will do you better in the long run. If she does care than you're just dealing with a girl with a lot of self-esteem issues and it really comes down to you and whether or not you want to wait for her to out grow of that... Cause honestly she will never love you the way you deserve to be loved if she doesn't love herself first.
And if she never cared than you deserved better anyway... Though I doubt she would tell you blatantly if she likes the attention.
I hope this helps.
Good Luck.
Especially, I can imagine, would be very difficult with low self-esteem.
So what I'm getting at:
It seems from your description of her she really just has a self-esteem issue because honestly women are a little more complex. As an Aries I wouldn't bother to get that angry unless I really liked the person... But than I am me, I can't speak for her. Either she does really care about you and is just too insecure to admit or she just really likes the attention you give her and doesn't really care for you. The only way to know is to ask her, trust me it will do you better in the long run. If she does care than you're just dealing with a girl with a lot of self-esteem issues and it really comes down to you and whether or not you want to wait for her to out grow of that... Cause honestly she will never love you the way you deserve to be loved if she doesn't love herself first.
And if she never cared than you deserved better anyway... Though I doubt she would tell you blatantly if she likes the attention.
I hope this helps.
Good Luck.
Oh and welcome to the neighborhood 🙂
And amethyst is right... You'll come across it eventually especially if you lurk around the Scorpio boards 😛
And amethyst is right... You'll come across it eventually especially if you lurk around the Scorpio boards 😛
Posted by amethyst2002Posted by Mistery
This is not an Aries trait because if we like you we want to be with you but I think they only way she feels comfortable is thru the internet.click to expand
I'm not sure if that is true... She could still consider you a friend or just really likes the attention you give, it might be a boost to herself esteem and doesn't necessarily means she likes you...
Though it's true for me as well, if I like a guy I would want to spend sometime with him and would have no problems initiating especially if he was reciprocating these emotions.
Man that hurts to think that she was only using me for attention. I'm not sure that's it though, but maybe. I won't rule it out, but there are some things she did that a person wouldn't do if they were just using you for attention. Like showing me how she was losing her hair for one. There were others too.
I checked out the rest of her signs & they're:
Sun - Aries
Moon - Taurus
Rising - Cancer
Venus - Aries
Mars - Taurus
Jupiter - Aquarius
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Capricorn
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
And it isn't just me that she doesn't hang out with. She doesn't hang out with her other friends that much either, but they have seen her more often than me. I haven't seen her in years. Like one of her best friends that calls her a sister had a birthday party & she didn't go. She was telling me how she didn't wanna go & her sister who is like a sister to that girl went. So you know how she probably felt. She's always talking about how she doesn't want to go places with people unless it's something she wants to go for herself. She ends up going anyway unless it has to do w/ me. She just avoids me.
I've always tried to look at her in the best of light because I guess love is blind, but when I look at it objectively she's in bad shape. All she does is sleep all day, watch tv, watch movies, play video games, surf the net doing nothing & I at least got her exercising. She's 25 & still lives at home with her parents. She doesn't really work except for one odd job her parents got her & has no goals at all. I asked her straight up a long time ago & she said she doesn't have goals. Her parents are old, sick, w/ unhealthy habits. I don't know what she's gonna do when they pass. She refuses to get a job unless she can wear a hat & is extremely lazy. She takes one class at college, but can't really afford it & has a lot of debt. On top of that she has given her parents all her money because they are in worse shape than she is financially.
If anything happens to them she's going to have to find someone to take care of her & no one is putting up w/ that for long.
Wow now that I read that over after I typed it...She has some issues. I don't think it's me I think she really just has some issues. Sad thing is she is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. So smart, but so naive at the same time. She doesn't understand a lot of things, but still very intelligent. Not too wise though
I checked out the rest of her signs & they're:
Sun - Aries
Moon - Taurus
Rising - Cancer
Venus - Aries
Mars - Taurus
Jupiter - Aquarius
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Capricorn
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
And it isn't just me that she doesn't hang out with. She doesn't hang out with her other friends that much either, but they have seen her more often than me. I haven't seen her in years. Like one of her best friends that calls her a sister had a birthday party & she didn't go. She was telling me how she didn't wanna go & her sister who is like a sister to that girl went. So you know how she probably felt. She's always talking about how she doesn't want to go places with people unless it's something she wants to go for herself. She ends up going anyway unless it has to do w/ me. She just avoids me.
I've always tried to look at her in the best of light because I guess love is blind, but when I look at it objectively she's in bad shape. All she does is sleep all day, watch tv, watch movies, play video games, surf the net doing nothing & I at least got her exercising. She's 25 & still lives at home with her parents. She doesn't really work except for one odd job her parents got her & has no goals at all. I asked her straight up a long time ago & she said she doesn't have goals. Her parents are old, sick, w/ unhealthy habits. I don't know what she's gonna do when they pass. She refuses to get a job unless she can wear a hat & is extremely lazy. She takes one class at college, but can't really afford it & has a lot of debt. On top of that she has given her parents all her money because they are in worse shape than she is financially.
If anything happens to them she's going to have to find someone to take care of her & no one is putting up w/ that for long.
Wow now that I read that over after I typed it...She has some issues. I don't think it's me I think she really just has some issues. Sad thing is she is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met. So smart, but so naive at the same time. She doesn't understand a lot of things, but still very intelligent. Not too wise though
And thank you xtina. lol I haven't really browsed through the Scorpio boards yet. Uh oh. lol
She does seem to have a lot of Taurus influence in here charts... Taurus and Libra are both well known for their lethargy. Taurus are also very stubborn, team that up with the perseverance from her Aries sun and you a unstoppable force. Meaning, she is VERY stubborn. I can imagine once she's made up her mind in a situation, she's made up her mind.
Now let me warn you she might not taking to you "helping" her as well as you may perceive, because though your offer of help is with good intentions, she might not see it the same way.
You see we Aries are a lot more sensitive and our egos bruise a lot more easily than we let on... so even though to you you know you're offering advice and guidance (for her to better herself, as you said you helped her to lose weight) because you really do love her and want the best for her. But she might not see it that way.
These are just opinions and may or may not really correlate to how she feels, one things for sure though, you will not change her if she does not want to be change... so your efforts will be futile and it might cause a bigger rife in your relationship.
Plus, no one really changes unless they really want to, and if you REALLY love her you'll love her as who she is.
But most definitely you need to speak to her about your relationship and where you guys stand, because you don't deserved to be treated like that.
Now let me warn you she might not taking to you "helping" her as well as you may perceive, because though your offer of help is with good intentions, she might not see it the same way.
You see we Aries are a lot more sensitive and our egos bruise a lot more easily than we let on... so even though to you you know you're offering advice and guidance (for her to better herself, as you said you helped her to lose weight) because you really do love her and want the best for her. But she might not see it that way.
These are just opinions and may or may not really correlate to how she feels, one things for sure though, you will not change her if she does not want to be change... so your efforts will be futile and it might cause a bigger rife in your relationship.
Plus, no one really changes unless they really want to, and if you REALLY love her you'll love her as who she is.
But most definitely you need to speak to her about your relationship and where you guys stand, because you don't deserved to be treated like that.
Oh and be careful about that Aries in venus... my sister has that and she is extremely fickle about jumping into relationships, they like the whole friends with benefits thing.
Also, it would be interesting to know your chart and how you relate to her as well.
Also, it would be interesting to know your chart and how you relate to her as well.
Posted by LovelyMissAries
Oh this site can drive me mad sometimes, I wrote out a huge long explanation for you and it wouldn't post.
I swear Aries/Taurus combos are quite deceiving. The Aries in us (yes, 'us'... I too share the burden and beauty of a Taurus moon. 🙂 ) gives off an impression of a strong, passionate individual... but in actuality the Taurus moon is our core nature. And it takes us losing important things to realize something needs to change. However, the loss has to be REAL. You can't play games with us or we'll feel deceived and controlled and suddenly you'll be the one who's being crossed off the list (and you won't even realize it until much time's passed and we haven't even said hello.)
I think she's gotten so used to the routine that she's afraid to step outside and actually SEE you. I know it's in my nature to make plans with people and then flake at the last minute. It's not that I don't WANT to see them, it's that I find my relaxation and 'me' time more enticing and needed. If they want to come over to my house, then fine. That'll work. Maybe that's the case with your friend? If not, then I think she's shy and naive of how it's REALLY making you feel (though I don't get how if she has a Cancer rising... even with my Gem rising, I'm still attentive to people's emotions). She gets mad because she's frustrated you called her out on her shit. It's just a distraction from the real problem so that you end up being the one to apologize.
True, true... cancers are homebodies though I don't think that her rising has any hold on her emotions... it is more of how people perceive you and true that does sometime make it's way into who you are as a person and maybe even come to define you but I don't think it has any power over how you are emotionally. So she may seem nurturing... but deep down she's really not.
Oh wow thank you for the replies. I'm getting so much help from this forum. I've also been skimming other posts to find out more about how the different signs are. I'm just learning so much.
Well LovelyMissAries. She actually told me that. She said something like she doesn't realize it because she talks to me so often on AIM. She even said she would find a way to talk to me if I wasn't on AIM anymore. That was a couple of weeks ago. She also is very shy in nature & naive as well. She is very intelligent when it comes to facts & numbers. She even has a bit of street smarts, but still very naive. And I can't forget really really oblivious. I have to really spell some things out for her. Especially when it comes to feelings & emotions. She isn't very nurturing at all.
She also told me I was right to put her in her place, but she just didn't do anything to change. She thinks telling me she loves me & misses me is doing something. She also said that it's something she has to work on & she accepts it. She told me she wasn't content, but accepts it. Then she didn't make any attempt. Makes me so mad, but I get the impression that she really doesn't understand how big of a deal this is. She really is stuck in her own little world. Like a grown kid. Lethargic is right. Honestly, in my heart, I already forgave her. I love her for who she is, but I don't want to talk to her. I'm so offended & hurt by this that I don't want to be around her. I make too much of an effort & she's not doing anything. I understand not wanting to change & being stubborn, but if she stays on this path she's gonna be forced into a living situation she won't like. She can't support herself & doesn't try because her parents cater to her every need. She is very charismatic & I have no doubt someone will take her in, but I don't know how comfortable she's going to be with that. No one is gonna take that from her for too long other than her parents.
But yeah she's living in a her little world where she thinks she has it all figured out & her **** doesn't stink.
Like I said I've already forgiven her. I don't hold any ill feelings towards her. I'm more hurt than angry at her. If she even met me a quarter of the way I walk the rest of the way, but nope.
I told her straight up I'm not apologizing anymore. At first I did because I tried to reason with her by saying that's just who she is, but no. The way she's treating me just isn't right.
Well LovelyMissAries. She actually told me that. She said something like she doesn't realize it because she talks to me so often on AIM. She even said she would find a way to talk to me if I wasn't on AIM anymore. That was a couple of weeks ago. She also is very shy in nature & naive as well. She is very intelligent when it comes to facts & numbers. She even has a bit of street smarts, but still very naive. And I can't forget really really oblivious. I have to really spell some things out for her. Especially when it comes to feelings & emotions. She isn't very nurturing at all.
She also told me I was right to put her in her place, but she just didn't do anything to change. She thinks telling me she loves me & misses me is doing something. She also said that it's something she has to work on & she accepts it. She told me she wasn't content, but accepts it. Then she didn't make any attempt. Makes me so mad, but I get the impression that she really doesn't understand how big of a deal this is. She really is stuck in her own little world. Like a grown kid. Lethargic is right. Honestly, in my heart, I already forgave her. I love her for who she is, but I don't want to talk to her. I'm so offended & hurt by this that I don't want to be around her. I make too much of an effort & she's not doing anything. I understand not wanting to change & being stubborn, but if she stays on this path she's gonna be forced into a living situation she won't like. She can't support herself & doesn't try because her parents cater to her every need. She is very charismatic & I have no doubt someone will take her in, but I don't know how comfortable she's going to be with that. No one is gonna take that from her for too long other than her parents.
But yeah she's living in a her little world where she thinks she has it all figured out & her **** doesn't stink.
Like I said I've already forgiven her. I don't hold any ill feelings towards her. I'm more hurt than angry at her. If she even met me a quarter of the way I walk the rest of the way, but nope.
I told her straight up I'm not apologizing anymore. At first I did because I tried to reason with her by saying that's just who she is, but no. The way she's treating me just isn't right.
Well xtina my signs are the following:
Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Scorpio
Venus - Sagittarius
Mars - Capricorn
Jupiter - Capricorn
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
Ascendant - Capricorn
Midheaven - Scorpio
That's what it says on this natal chart I printed out.
You know I mention her weight a lot. Always w/ love & I told her that. I've told her I don't care about her hair or her weight & she's beautiful to me either way. She always laughs & says she knows & of course, but it never occurred to me that maybe I am really hurting her. I asked her if she wanted me to wait till she was skinny to see her & she said yes. Even made a bet that I had to take her out if she lost weight by the end of the summer. I didn't take her seriously because she talks a lot without ever having real intentions of doing anything. But maybe that's why she never also let me see a picture of her as well. Don't get me wrong she is lethargic. Doesn't wanna leave the house for anything, but could she really be embarrassed to let me see her that way? I mean when I saw her in that news clip she has gained A LOT of weight. About 30-40 pounds overweight. All that eating, sleeping, & watching TV. Maybe I did hurt her ego & it's true she would never let me know. Laughs everything off. I could be very blunt, but I just like to look at things for what it is. Not worse than it is & especially not to offend. She just needs exercise & a better diet. She did start to eat better & exercise from what she told me though. Makes me sad to think that I could have been hurting her with my words this whole time. If it comes up I will apologize for that, but I am not gonna keep apologizing to her.
She has apologized to me over & over for "Being a bad friend." but I don't want an apology. I get the feeling she's sincere about it, but not enough to try to change. I mean how hard is it to say "Ok let's go out tomorrow." instead of sleeping all day? It's like she's really trying hard not to let me see her. I don't have time for that anymore.
What does Aries in Venus mean? She never really had a real b/f. Only one she had dumped her because she is a flirt. BIG flirt. Never flirts with me though like I make her nervous. That was years ago though & she's a 25 year old virgin. I'm sure of that too. She also doesn't seem to have any intention of losing it anytime soon.
As I mentioned bef
Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Scorpio
Venus - Sagittarius
Mars - Capricorn
Jupiter - Capricorn
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
Ascendant - Capricorn
Midheaven - Scorpio
That's what it says on this natal chart I printed out.
You know I mention her weight a lot. Always w/ love & I told her that. I've told her I don't care about her hair or her weight & she's beautiful to me either way. She always laughs & says she knows & of course, but it never occurred to me that maybe I am really hurting her. I asked her if she wanted me to wait till she was skinny to see her & she said yes. Even made a bet that I had to take her out if she lost weight by the end of the summer. I didn't take her seriously because she talks a lot without ever having real intentions of doing anything. But maybe that's why she never also let me see a picture of her as well. Don't get me wrong she is lethargic. Doesn't wanna leave the house for anything, but could she really be embarrassed to let me see her that way? I mean when I saw her in that news clip she has gained A LOT of weight. About 30-40 pounds overweight. All that eating, sleeping, & watching TV. Maybe I did hurt her ego & it's true she would never let me know. Laughs everything off. I could be very blunt, but I just like to look at things for what it is. Not worse than it is & especially not to offend. She just needs exercise & a better diet. She did start to eat better & exercise from what she told me though. Makes me sad to think that I could have been hurting her with my words this whole time. If it comes up I will apologize for that, but I am not gonna keep apologizing to her.
She has apologized to me over & over for "Being a bad friend." but I don't want an apology. I get the feeling she's sincere about it, but not enough to try to change. I mean how hard is it to say "Ok let's go out tomorrow." instead of sleeping all day? It's like she's really trying hard not to let me see her. I don't have time for that anymore.
What does Aries in Venus mean? She never really had a real b/f. Only one she had dumped her because she is a flirt. BIG flirt. Never flirts with me though like I make her nervous. That was years ago though & she's a 25 year old virgin. I'm sure of that too. She also doesn't seem to have any intention of losing it anytime soon.
As I mentioned bef
I don't think people ever change unless they make the conscious decisions themselves or they are forced to.
I have a friend with a Taurus moon... she's a cancer. And trust me you can talk her ear off about what you want her to do or change in her life but she won't do it unless she really wants to... obviously she doesn't.
It might be hard but maybe you need to stop initiating with her in total... and if she yells just say calmly that you're waiting for her to reciprocate and until she does you're not going to initiate.
Of course you're free to do what you want, I can't tell you what to do... but it's just an idea 🙂.
I love this website, chalked full of information and help 😄.
I have a friend with a Taurus moon... she's a cancer. And trust me you can talk her ear off about what you want her to do or change in her life but she won't do it unless she really wants to... obviously she doesn't.
It might be hard but maybe you need to stop initiating with her in total... and if she yells just say calmly that you're waiting for her to reciprocate and until she does you're not going to initiate.
Of course you're free to do what you want, I can't tell you what to do... but it's just an idea 🙂.
I love this website, chalked full of information and help 😄.
Sorry for the missing words in my posts... I just think faster than I type or type faster than I think?
Something's working fast LOL.
Something's working fast LOL.
Oh & I was trying to end it with "As I mentioned before she is not nurturing at all. Compassionate yes & she shows concern, but not nurturing."
And yes I agree with you about initiating. I'm getting no where with her. If she really wants to get in touch with me she knows how to find me. If not than apparently I'm not losing that much of a friend. She is stubborn & prideful which is stupid to me. I feel if you love someone you shouldn't fight over stupid things because you only have so much time on Earth with them. I've lost many loved ones when I was young so I cherish the time I have with the ones I have left.
Other people think they're going to live forever though & wanna be stubborn.
And yes I agree with you about initiating. I'm getting no where with her. If she really wants to get in touch with me she knows how to find me. If not than apparently I'm not losing that much of a friend. She is stubborn & prideful which is stupid to me. I feel if you love someone you shouldn't fight over stupid things because you only have so much time on Earth with them. I've lost many loved ones when I was young so I cherish the time I have with the ones I have left.
Other people think they're going to live forever though & wanna be stubborn.
You still didn't post your chart... what's your chart? LOL sorry to be demanding but now I'm curious 🙂
lol no need to apologize. It happens to me all the time. I understood what you were saying. lol
lol this feels like an AIM convo it's going so fast that you missed my second big post that was for you. Scroll up. lol
Oh no wonder the convo wasn't making sense lol...
Wow your charts seem very compatible... except maybe for the Aries-Scorpio-- it's not necessarily bad, and not necessarily good either.
I'm curious to know.
Have you guys ever had a conversation about your relationship... have you asked her "Do you like me?"
Because if you ask she will tell.
Wow your charts seem very compatible... except maybe for the Aries-Scorpio-- it's not necessarily bad, and not necessarily good either.
I'm curious to know.
Have you guys ever had a conversation about your relationship... have you asked her "Do you like me?"
Because if you ask she will tell.
and I mean "Do you like me more than just a friend?" question.
lol I know I was thinking the same thing.
Um yes & no. One time she said "I don't know possibly." but then she said, "That seems like a lot of work, huh?" when she thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship. I told her if she's asking me that she doesn't need to be in one & she agreed. Then a few days later she said she doesn't feel that way.
I really do get the feeling she would though if the situation was right. But right now she is too lazy to do anything. She agreed that I make her nervous & I know I do. She's really shy around me in person.
Either way it doesn't matter to me.
It's funny because this is the only thing we've fought about ever. It's just that big of a deal where I don't want to talk to her right now. Makes me feel like everything else was a waste of time. We get along great otherwise.
Um yes & no. One time she said "I don't know possibly." but then she said, "That seems like a lot of work, huh?" when she thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship. I told her if she's asking me that she doesn't need to be in one & she agreed. Then a few days later she said she doesn't feel that way.
I really do get the feeling she would though if the situation was right. But right now she is too lazy to do anything. She agreed that I make her nervous & I know I do. She's really shy around me in person.
Either way it doesn't matter to me.
It's funny because this is the only thing we've fought about ever. It's just that big of a deal where I don't want to talk to her right now. Makes me feel like everything else was a waste of time. We get along great otherwise.
Hey LovelyMissAries do you feel that you Gemini aspects softens you or adds fuel to your fire... sorry been stalking you 😛.
WOOHOO got something right with the Venus in Aries... I have a Venus in Pisces and boy can I be clingy sometimes, working on it though 🙂.
WOOHOO got something right with the Venus in Aries... I have a Venus in Pisces and boy can I be clingy sometimes, working on it though 🙂.
^^^Oh that was to xtina. Maybe I should have quoted you. Don't miss it!!!^^^
Posted by PhoenixScorpio
lol I know I was thinking the same thing.
Um yes & no. One time she said "I don't know possibly." but then she said, "That seems like a lot of work, huh?" when she thought about what it would be like to be in a relationship. I told her if she's asking me that she doesn't need to be in one & she agreed. Then a few days later she said she doesn't feel that way.
I really do get the feeling she would though if the situation was right. But right now she is too lazy to do anything. She agreed that I make her nervous & I know I do. She's really shy around me in person.
Either way it doesn't matter to me.
It's funny because this is the only thing we've fought about ever. It's just that big of a deal where I don't want to talk to her right now. Makes me feel like everything else was a waste of time. We get along great otherwise.
Aaawww don't think of it as a waste of time... think of it as an experience, something to add to your book. Plus, at the very least you will always have the memories to cherish of her, whether you remain friends or not. Though I don't consider this a bad experience, bad experiences are the ones that help you to realize and appreciate the good ones.
I feel like you guys will always be at odds because you have opposing Sun/Moon aspects, your Scorpio sun is in opposition with her Taurus Moon... both are fixed signs so it would be very hard for one or the other to change.
You could work at it to at least keep your friendship intact... it's up to you what you want to do.
LOL I know I can be confusing sometimes it's because I have my Aries sun in opposition with my Libra moon within my own chart 😛.
phoenixscorpio,
LovelyMissAries is right though action speaks louder than words and if she doesn't get it now she's never going to get it.
We Aries know what we want and if we like someone. Personally I've always been upfront to a guy on whether I liked him or not... so when she says she doesn't know, she really doesn't know. I doubt she's doing that to tip toe around your feelings.
LovelyMissAries is right though action speaks louder than words and if she doesn't get it now she's never going to get it.
We Aries know what we want and if we like someone. Personally I've always been upfront to a guy on whether I liked him or not... so when she says she doesn't know, she really doesn't know. I doubt she's doing that to tip toe around your feelings.
LovelyMissAries:
I would love to help you w/ your Scorpio.
But you're right she hasn't grown up. Like I keep saying she is super intelligent. She could be anything she wants to be & people like her enough to help her get there. The opportunities she's passed by are just insane. She's very charismatic. But all she wants to do is a whole lot of nothing. She talks big about how she wants to accomplish so much, but just ends up sleeping, watching tv, playing video games, surfing the internet, & watching movies. She doesn't get that in order to manifest anything you actually have to work. And her parents aren't really helping by supporting her lazy habits. When I talk to her I feel like I'm talking to a very smart child sometimes. It really is ridiculous how smart & how many opportunities she's wasted. They really just fall on her lap because people throw them at her. She's that charismatic, but she gets bored fast or just doesn't want to work.
You know the more I look at her objectively without any love emotions clouding my judgment the more she looks like she has issues. It's always been there, but I always just brushed it off or overlooked it, but she has issues. I really hope she shapes up before she hits her Saturn's Return. Life is gonna hit her hard & wake her ass up. She has no support whatsoever & people are not gonna put up with a grown ass kid.
It's funny because when she graduated high school she lived with her cousin. Her cousin told her mom "I can't be another mother to her." Now I see what she must have been saying. It's like she has the mind of a very sophisticated child.
When I told her that I don't see us being friends for too much longer she told me that it was understandable. She fought for our friendship in her own little way. I mean I've seen how she treats other people & compared to that she really tried. I know in her mind she thinks she tried, but she's gotta do better than that. I'm also pretty sure she knows how important she is to me. Something just isn't right & I can't tell if I can't see or hear her.
I would love to help you w/ your Scorpio.
But you're right she hasn't grown up. Like I keep saying she is super intelligent. She could be anything she wants to be & people like her enough to help her get there. The opportunities she's passed by are just insane. She's very charismatic. But all she wants to do is a whole lot of nothing. She talks big about how she wants to accomplish so much, but just ends up sleeping, watching tv, playing video games, surfing the internet, & watching movies. She doesn't get that in order to manifest anything you actually have to work. And her parents aren't really helping by supporting her lazy habits. When I talk to her I feel like I'm talking to a very smart child sometimes. It really is ridiculous how smart & how many opportunities she's wasted. They really just fall on her lap because people throw them at her. She's that charismatic, but she gets bored fast or just doesn't want to work.
You know the more I look at her objectively without any love emotions clouding my judgment the more she looks like she has issues. It's always been there, but I always just brushed it off or overlooked it, but she has issues. I really hope she shapes up before she hits her Saturn's Return. Life is gonna hit her hard & wake her ass up. She has no support whatsoever & people are not gonna put up with a grown ass kid.
It's funny because when she graduated high school she lived with her cousin. Her cousin told her mom "I can't be another mother to her." Now I see what she must have been saying. It's like she has the mind of a very sophisticated child.
When I told her that I don't see us being friends for too much longer she told me that it was understandable. She fought for our friendship in her own little way. I mean I've seen how she treats other people & compared to that she really tried. I know in her mind she thinks she tried, but she's gotta do better than that. I'm also pretty sure she knows how important she is to me. Something just isn't right & I can't tell if I can't see or hear her.
I agree with all the advice given to you so far. I can add that I share only 2 1/2 things with this woman, my sun in Aries & mars in Taurus with a water rising (mine Pisces). What was said about moon in Taurus is so true but add the mars, YIKES!! You can move a mountain easier than me! Ah, probably only a great Scorpio like yourself can do it but you know, the more I read this, the more I keep thinking, "This woman will regret not making an effort to be with you." Whether it will just be friends or more, she will regret this.
The only way to jolt her (she needs it), is to slowly back off talking to her. When she sees you're not there as much, she may ask, then you can tell her that you're getting tired of her making excuses and you don't know what else to do. That you already know about her issues and still want to be in her life but she won't believe you so why should you waste your time? Tell her your tired of banging your head against a wall and ask her if she wants to live the rest of her life as she is now.
Oh, that'll get her! She may get pissed but it'll be good. We all need a good kick in the arse once in awhile. Anyway, this isn't about astrology, this is about a person making a conscious decision to hide from life. You want to enjoy yours and either she'll be with you or she can continue living in her shell (like the cancer-rising) because no one will care as much as you do but you're no fool and won't waste it on someone unwilling to reciprocate.
Your moon in Pisces may be making you want to 'rescue' her but it isn't your job. Look out for yourself and find someone who truly appreciates the wonderful qualities you possess.
The only way to jolt her (she needs it), is to slowly back off talking to her. When she sees you're not there as much, she may ask, then you can tell her that you're getting tired of her making excuses and you don't know what else to do. That you already know about her issues and still want to be in her life but she won't believe you so why should you waste your time? Tell her your tired of banging your head against a wall and ask her if she wants to live the rest of her life as she is now.
Oh, that'll get her! She may get pissed but it'll be good. We all need a good kick in the arse once in awhile. Anyway, this isn't about astrology, this is about a person making a conscious decision to hide from life. You want to enjoy yours and either she'll be with you or she can continue living in her shell (like the cancer-rising) because no one will care as much as you do but you're no fool and won't waste it on someone unwilling to reciprocate.
Your moon in Pisces may be making you want to 'rescue' her but it isn't your job. Look out for yourself and find someone who truly appreciates the wonderful qualities you possess.
xtina:
You're right. But she'll never be completely out of my life because my other best friend is her sister!!! lol
We don't talk as much, but we're the type of friends that can go months without talking & just pick up where we left off. Our friendship doesn't have much to do with her sister, but as long as we're friends I will always be connected to her sister by association.
Like I said I already forgive her, but I'm fed up. She'll have to put some effort in because I'm done with her.
Also as far as dating her. I don't wanna carry her financially without her working. I don't have any children & I don't need one that's knocking 30s door down pretty soon. Also emotionally. Hopefully I served as a catalyst to change her behavior. Better me than life.
And honestly xtina. She really is one of the best friends I ever had. I love her energy & the way it affected me. I could also talk to her about anything. I don't regret that, but this makes me think we weren't as close as I thought. She really does have a good heart, but something isn't right with her. I do get the feeling she might be depressed, but I can't really tell without seeing her. I can only guess & she wouldn't admit it if she did.
One thing I'm sure of though. It's not me, it's her. lol
You're right. But she'll never be completely out of my life because my other best friend is her sister!!! lol
We don't talk as much, but we're the type of friends that can go months without talking & just pick up where we left off. Our friendship doesn't have much to do with her sister, but as long as we're friends I will always be connected to her sister by association.
Like I said I already forgive her, but I'm fed up. She'll have to put some effort in because I'm done with her.
Also as far as dating her. I don't wanna carry her financially without her working. I don't have any children & I don't need one that's knocking 30s door down pretty soon. Also emotionally. Hopefully I served as a catalyst to change her behavior. Better me than life.
And honestly xtina. She really is one of the best friends I ever had. I love her energy & the way it affected me. I could also talk to her about anything. I don't regret that, but this makes me think we weren't as close as I thought. She really does have a good heart, but something isn't right with her. I do get the feeling she might be depressed, but I can't really tell without seeing her. I can only guess & she wouldn't admit it if she did.
One thing I'm sure of though. It's not me, it's her. lol
I like your attitude!
It's not me it's them lol 😛
It's not me it's them lol 😛
🙂 crazies 😛
Like a few other people mentioned, this is not a sign thing I don't think, especially Aries. Trust me those women like to go out some times and wear yummy clothes and just shove it in everyone faces and talk about "me me me me me me" ... True story...
Anywho, has anyone tried to get her professional help? Sounds like she needs help but she has been given the encouragement to put her in this position.
E.g. how can you keep being friends with someone who lives 15 mins away and not go to break their door down to let you in? If she know she lives 15mins away, then turn up after you establish she is home. That's what friends do!
That's why none of my friends know where I live, they always turn up and look for food! pssshfft!!! jokin 😄
Seriously, I can sometimes hate company if I wanna be left alone but that lasts for like 10secs 😉
If you are going to be a friend to this girl and you think something is not right, get together with few other friends and help her sort it out.
You like her, don't you? You want more than friendship? If so, then ....Wait, am lost... have you ever seen her before except for pictures?
Need coffee!
Like a few other people mentioned, this is not a sign thing I don't think, especially Aries. Trust me those women like to go out some times and wear yummy clothes and just shove it in everyone faces and talk about "me me me me me me" ... True story...
Anywho, has anyone tried to get her professional help? Sounds like she needs help but she has been given the encouragement to put her in this position.
E.g. how can you keep being friends with someone who lives 15 mins away and not go to break their door down to let you in? If she know she lives 15mins away, then turn up after you establish she is home. That's what friends do!
That's why none of my friends know where I live, they always turn up and look for food! pssshfft!!! jokin 😄
Seriously, I can sometimes hate company if I wanna be left alone but that lasts for like 10secs 😉
If you are going to be a friend to this girl and you think something is not right, get together with few other friends and help her sort it out.
You like her, don't you? You want more than friendship? If so, then ....Wait, am lost... have you ever seen her before except for pictures?
Need coffee!
Sometimes I find myself talking to friends online that I won't meet up with because I feel I should be doing things like focusing on work or whatever. I wish I had the ability to put things out of my head and be all care free like I was as a teen but life gets mixed up as we live as adults.
I understand your frustration, I think she doesn't want to lose you on the level you guys are at right now and wants you as you are, and its hard to express yourself as an aries at times when you have things going on in your mind.
I can be confused as what to do with say a friend like you, then go out with friends that feel safe and relaxing to be with, the ones that give way to my spirit.
I do say if you distance yourself and she does want you as a friend or more she will tell you and express it.
We have energy in us as Aries to pursue and to do, and if we are given the ball such as when someone says lets not talk anymore, we are gonna come out and say how we feel and what we want at that time, because our energy is up front and in its proper place.
Also we have other aspects that shape us as Aries, moon, rising sign etc, so again these come into play with your chemistry with her.
I understand your frustration, I think she doesn't want to lose you on the level you guys are at right now and wants you as you are, and its hard to express yourself as an aries at times when you have things going on in your mind.
I can be confused as what to do with say a friend like you, then go out with friends that feel safe and relaxing to be with, the ones that give way to my spirit.
I do say if you distance yourself and she does want you as a friend or more she will tell you and express it.
We have energy in us as Aries to pursue and to do, and if we are given the ball such as when someone says lets not talk anymore, we are gonna come out and say how we feel and what we want at that time, because our energy is up front and in its proper place.
Also we have other aspects that shape us as Aries, moon, rising sign etc, so again these come into play with your chemistry with her.
Mistery: Well I stopped talking to her. I don't know for how long. Like I said she'll always be in my life through association because her sister is my other best friend. But her sister is a totally different person. She even once told me that her family was worried about her sister (the one we've been talking about) because she just sleeps. She is stubborn too, but that was a couple of years ago, but I guess much hasn't changed.
I'm not sure how long I'm gonna go without talking to her. I don't know what her state of mind is. If she'll just forget me or if she'll realize she's full of it.
You think I should be more subtle & stop talking to her less & less rather than just cutting her off for a long period of time? I read somewhere that if you ignore an Aries long enough they'll just forget about you & I want this to be a catalyst for her to change. Because after putting all my emotions to the side. She still needs to do something with her life. The way she is living is just not healthy & she's going to wake up one day without her parents to support her. When that happens she's going to be stuck in living conditions she won't be comfortable with. Her whole family know she can't support herself. She was going to move to the west from the east coast & her younger sister was going to go with her just to work & watch out for her. She told me she couldn't go by herself. Her whole family knows she can't support herself. It's not that she's not capable, but she's just lazy & stubborn. Except when it comes to school. She'll stay up for days studying & she gets straight As. One of the smartest people I know, but when it comes to actually excelling in life then she's not to bright.
When I tell her she's almost 30 she always tells me to stop. She said she doesn't like to hear that because she's already 25 & she hasn't done anything she wanted to do by 25. So saying what you told me to say might really strike a nerve, but I don't know if it's enough to jolt her into action or she'll just go back to sleep.
And you're right. I didn't even notice about me trying to "rescue" her. lol that's how I'm talking, huh? That's that Pisces moon? lol
If she doesn't do something she's going to get old & have a life full of regrets. I told her that, but I don't know.
I'm not sure how long I'm gonna go without talking to her. I don't know what her state of mind is. If she'll just forget me or if she'll realize she's full of it.
You think I should be more subtle & stop talking to her less & less rather than just cutting her off for a long period of time? I read somewhere that if you ignore an Aries long enough they'll just forget about you & I want this to be a catalyst for her to change. Because after putting all my emotions to the side. She still needs to do something with her life. The way she is living is just not healthy & she's going to wake up one day without her parents to support her. When that happens she's going to be stuck in living conditions she won't be comfortable with. Her whole family know she can't support herself. She was going to move to the west from the east coast & her younger sister was going to go with her just to work & watch out for her. She told me she couldn't go by herself. Her whole family knows she can't support herself. It's not that she's not capable, but she's just lazy & stubborn. Except when it comes to school. She'll stay up for days studying & she gets straight As. One of the smartest people I know, but when it comes to actually excelling in life then she's not to bright.
When I tell her she's almost 30 she always tells me to stop. She said she doesn't like to hear that because she's already 25 & she hasn't done anything she wanted to do by 25. So saying what you told me to say might really strike a nerve, but I don't know if it's enough to jolt her into action or she'll just go back to sleep.
And you're right. I didn't even notice about me trying to "rescue" her. lol that's how I'm talking, huh? That's that Pisces moon? lol
If she doesn't do something she's going to get old & have a life full of regrets. I told her that, but I don't know.
zenalchemy: Her family has tried to talk to her, but she's stubborn. There's not really much anyone can do for her without her trying. I wish I could just show up at her house like that, but I can't. She still lives w/ her parents & it's just not the type of environment that accepts that. She lives in a strict Asian house & her dad, even though he's not Asian, is a cop with a baaaad attitude & temper. It's just not the type of environment where you just walk in & eat their food. lol
I have friends where I can just show up. She's not one of them. lol
And yeah of course I've seen her. A bunch of times. Just not in about 2.5 - 3 years. lol We didn't meet on the internet or anything like that. We're real friends, but now we've become internet friends.
heroic_guy: That would be one thing if she was busy & worked. But she doesn't do anything. Her focus is movies, video games (big gamer), surfing the internet, tv shows, & lots of sleeping. She really doesn't do much. That's one of the things that gets me so mad. I could understand a busy schedule because of work. But when you have nothing going on & still won't make an effort.
And I guess I can see how I can be uncomfortable to be around. I don't put up with her bull & I tell her about herself. She doesn't have many people in her life that do that.
Sun - Aries
Moon - Taurus
Rising - Cancer
Venus - Aries
Mars - Taurus
Jupiter - Aquarius
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Capricorn
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
Those are the other aspects of her chart. We were discussing it earlier & it really shed some light on her personality that I didn't understand before.
Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Scorpio
Venus - Sagittarius
Mars - Capricorn
Jupiter - Capricorn
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
Ascendant - Capricorn
Midheaven - Scorpio
And these are mine.
It gives me some hope to know that distancing myself from her could possible motivate her into action.
I have friends where I can just show up. She's not one of them. lol
And yeah of course I've seen her. A bunch of times. Just not in about 2.5 - 3 years. lol We didn't meet on the internet or anything like that. We're real friends, but now we've become internet friends.
heroic_guy: That would be one thing if she was busy & worked. But she doesn't do anything. Her focus is movies, video games (big gamer), surfing the internet, tv shows, & lots of sleeping. She really doesn't do much. That's one of the things that gets me so mad. I could understand a busy schedule because of work. But when you have nothing going on & still won't make an effort.
And I guess I can see how I can be uncomfortable to be around. I don't put up with her bull & I tell her about herself. She doesn't have many people in her life that do that.
Sun - Aries
Moon - Taurus
Rising - Cancer
Venus - Aries
Mars - Taurus
Jupiter - Aquarius
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Capricorn
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
Those are the other aspects of her chart. We were discussing it earlier & it really shed some light on her personality that I didn't understand before.
Sun - Scorpio
Moon - Pisces
Mercury - Scorpio
Venus - Sagittarius
Mars - Capricorn
Jupiter - Capricorn
Saturn - Scorpio
Uranus - Sagittarius
Neptune - Sagittarius
Pluto - Scorpio
N. Node - Taurus
Ascendant - Capricorn
Midheaven - Scorpio
And these are mine.
It gives me some hope to know that distancing myself from her could possible motivate her into action.
Well understand that her mind is preoccupied.
That isn't a natural state or positive state to be in for an aries. If anything we would like to have a natural flow and obtain what we want without stress. I have been locked away not wanting to do hard work and just play video games etc. Feeling like a wounded animal for anyone isn't great and being locked up in a cocoon isn't very good for relating to someone as well meaning as you.
You are sensitive/psychic which is admirable to us aries given that we can be the opposite.
And yes ver stubborn. Taking our own medicine or doing the right thing has to feel like it was our idea, which is so ARGHHHH of us.
You mean so well and might be doing her some real good in her life. Its up to you to continue talking to her, I can't recommend what you should feel, just trying to give insight on what its like to be a stubborn fool 😄
You have a lot of Capricorn which say if you were a Capricorn native, OMG I would find it hard to talk about serious stuff with you. Can be argumentative instead of carefree or passionate feeling.
Her moon and her rising seems to shape her sensibilities too, Cancer can make emotional retreat and pushing people away easy. I am no expert but I don't see why you guys cannot relate with one another well, just please don't feel like you should feel negative about this all. Heck if she is, though she sounds withdrawn at the moment.
That isn't a natural state or positive state to be in for an aries. If anything we would like to have a natural flow and obtain what we want without stress. I have been locked away not wanting to do hard work and just play video games etc. Feeling like a wounded animal for anyone isn't great and being locked up in a cocoon isn't very good for relating to someone as well meaning as you.
You are sensitive/psychic which is admirable to us aries given that we can be the opposite.
And yes ver stubborn. Taking our own medicine or doing the right thing has to feel like it was our idea, which is so ARGHHHH of us.
You mean so well and might be doing her some real good in her life. Its up to you to continue talking to her, I can't recommend what you should feel, just trying to give insight on what its like to be a stubborn fool 😄
You have a lot of Capricorn which say if you were a Capricorn native, OMG I would find it hard to talk about serious stuff with you. Can be argumentative instead of carefree or passionate feeling.
Her moon and her rising seems to shape her sensibilities too, Cancer can make emotional retreat and pushing people away easy. I am no expert but I don't see why you guys cannot relate with one another well, just please don't feel like you should feel negative about this all. Heck if she is, though she sounds withdrawn at the moment.
heroic_guy: That helps a lot. It's hard to understand how another person thinks. That's why I asked everyone on this board because I didn't understand at all. I could really see her having to think it was her idea, but at the same time I don't have to put up with that anymore. I'm trying so hard to understand her, reach out to her, help her, her, her, her. And she's not lifting a thought to try to understand why I'm reacting this way.
You're right I do think she's in a cocoon. She's isolated herself on purpose & I don't think that has much to do with me. I said in an earlier post it's her not me.
I'm not really angry at her more hurt. I thought our friendship meant more than this. She didn't even really try except by saying "I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend. I accept that." blah blah blah. I'm not trying to hear that anymore.
But reading your post & the others made me understand how an Aries would think. It also gave me a fresh objective perspective on the situation. She just has some issues she's going to have to deal with & if I stay around her then it becomes cancerous to me. I can't afford to have her making me upset. Look at all the energy I've already given to it.
So I'm just going to start distancing myself from her. If she wants to be in my life she'll make that choice. As of now she isn't & she can do what she wants with her video games, movies, tv, & sleep.
I still love her, but that can only take us so far.
But other than this we do relate to each other great. We have never had a problem in our relationship before. We really do compliment each other well. It's just this one issue she has & it happens to be a big issue. But from now on it's her issue not mine.
I guess I should say that I've known her a lot longer than the time period of this issue. I know it must give off the impression that I've never seen her or we're always fighting, but we're not. Actually we have never really had a fight before. We always handle our disagreements great except for this one because this shows she doesn't care & that makes everything we've been through in the past mean like nothing. You can't maintain any type of relationship like this whether it's romantic or just a platonic friendship.
You're right I do think she's in a cocoon. She's isolated herself on purpose & I don't think that has much to do with me. I said in an earlier post it's her not me.
I'm not really angry at her more hurt. I thought our friendship meant more than this. She didn't even really try except by saying "I'm sorry. I'm a bad friend. I accept that." blah blah blah. I'm not trying to hear that anymore.
But reading your post & the others made me understand how an Aries would think. It also gave me a fresh objective perspective on the situation. She just has some issues she's going to have to deal with & if I stay around her then it becomes cancerous to me. I can't afford to have her making me upset. Look at all the energy I've already given to it.
So I'm just going to start distancing myself from her. If she wants to be in my life she'll make that choice. As of now she isn't & she can do what she wants with her video games, movies, tv, & sleep.
I still love her, but that can only take us so far.
But other than this we do relate to each other great. We have never had a problem in our relationship before. We really do compliment each other well. It's just this one issue she has & it happens to be a big issue. But from now on it's her issue not mine.
I guess I should say that I've known her a lot longer than the time period of this issue. I know it must give off the impression that I've never seen her or we're always fighting, but we're not. Actually we have never really had a fight before. We always handle our disagreements great except for this one because this shows she doesn't care & that makes everything we've been through in the past mean like nothing. You can't maintain any type of relationship like this whether it's romantic or just a platonic friendship.
LovelyMissAries: lol I like you. That's one of the reasons why I needed a fresh point of view from people that could be totally objective. It's sometimes hard to see the mess when you're living in it. You gotta step back & that can be hard to do with the strong emotions I have invested in this situation.
I agree with you. If she can't even acknowledge her own disgusting circumstances enough to act on it. How could I expect her to act on ours? This problem goes way beyond her relationship with me.
She's letting her life fall apart slowly & one day she's going to wake up 30 years old not knowing what the hell happened.
Really I'm not angry at her. I'm not upset at myself thinking it's something I did because I know it's all her. I know the only way we could continue to have a relationship is if I continued to live in her little bubble with her. I would literally have to just put up with it & that just can't happen. If I stayed there I would just be getting hurt & she wouldn't realize it. I'm part of her comfort zone. She might love me, but only in a way that compliments her comfort zone. And that is 100% her problem. Our relationship has become toxic. Hell her life has become toxic & if I stay around her it's going to spread into my life like cancer.
I've already seen the affects it's had on me & I don't need that in my life. If she wants to make the decision to be in my life she can, but I'm making the decision not to live in her bubble of delusions.
You're also right about what we have now is not a friendship. What she is living now is not a life. If people around her continue to encourage that then it's worse for her. The best thing I can do for me AND her is just walk away. I was an important piece to her little self imposed isolation. Maybe if I go missing she will see something isn't right with her life. She has to see what she's doing instead of hearing. There's only so much I can do from here & it's not my purpose to put a cape on for her. The best I could do is be a catalyst & hopefully she'll realize she needs to start making some changes. At this point it really is all on her with a lot more at stake than just our relationship.
And as far as being in love. I guess so. I mean I would date her if she fixed herself up, but at this point in time she's not good for me or herself. She would just be holding me down instead of us supporting each other.
I agree with you. If she can't even acknowledge her own disgusting circumstances enough to act on it. How could I expect her to act on ours? This problem goes way beyond her relationship with me.
She's letting her life fall apart slowly & one day she's going to wake up 30 years old not knowing what the hell happened.
Really I'm not angry at her. I'm not upset at myself thinking it's something I did because I know it's all her. I know the only way we could continue to have a relationship is if I continued to live in her little bubble with her. I would literally have to just put up with it & that just can't happen. If I stayed there I would just be getting hurt & she wouldn't realize it. I'm part of her comfort zone. She might love me, but only in a way that compliments her comfort zone. And that is 100% her problem. Our relationship has become toxic. Hell her life has become toxic & if I stay around her it's going to spread into my life like cancer.
I've already seen the affects it's had on me & I don't need that in my life. If she wants to make the decision to be in my life she can, but I'm making the decision not to live in her bubble of delusions.
You're also right about what we have now is not a friendship. What she is living now is not a life. If people around her continue to encourage that then it's worse for her. The best thing I can do for me AND her is just walk away. I was an important piece to her little self imposed isolation. Maybe if I go missing she will see something isn't right with her life. She has to see what she's doing instead of hearing. There's only so much I can do from here & it's not my purpose to put a cape on for her. The best I could do is be a catalyst & hopefully she'll realize she needs to start making some changes. At this point it really is all on her with a lot more at stake than just our relationship.
And as far as being in love. I guess so. I mean I would date her if she fixed herself up, but at this point in time she's not good for me or herself. She would just be holding me down instead of us supporting each other.
LovelyMissAries:
Oh yeah I got your message.
Um, that's the thing. I know she loves me. I know she's probably even thought about dating me. I know she cares about me. She's told me all these things & I know how much I mean to her. But all that stuff goes out the window when she can't make 1 attempt to see me in 3 years. I can deal with all that. Like I said we get along great because I've learned how to adapt to an Aries personality. But this is just too much. Like many of us agree here it goes beyond an Aries personality & goes into the realm of you need to get your life together.
And you're right she does shrink at conflict. On top of that the way she was raised was not to speak up or talk back. When I let off on her she was mute. A little "Yeah, yes, I'm sorry, That's understandable." here & there. But she also said "I don't know what to say.". She's not good with confrontation. I know I must have hurt her, but not enough to shock her into action. I get the feeling she doesn't know what to do to make this right.
She said I quote, "I've asked you how to do so, and you ignore it or tell me 'do something'."
And I told her yes to do something!!! Anything!!! An action. Like hang out with me. I'm tired of hearing her words on AIM. I need to know she really cares by her getting off her a** & making an effort. I also know for her to say "I love you." to me is a big deal, but I don't care. After about 3 years it's time to show it.
But like I said this goes beyond my relationship with her.
Also when I told her she needs to say something because I'm about to walk away & not look back. She didn't say a word. I waited about an hour & not one word. So I checked her twitter to see if she was posting stuff while I'm waiting for her trying to save our friendship. I know if she's posting on twitter she's using her phone because she uses AIM through her phone. She was on twitter posting a picture of a cup & some little toy floating in it laughing like "HAHA!!!". I'm sitting there like:
"Wow, that's what you do when your best friend is about to walk out of your life & is waiting for you to say something or do something to save it!?"
I just signed off & I haven't spoken to her since.
By the way that makes me angry when I think about it. lol
Oh yeah I got your message.
Um, that's the thing. I know she loves me. I know she's probably even thought about dating me. I know she cares about me. She's told me all these things & I know how much I mean to her. But all that stuff goes out the window when she can't make 1 attempt to see me in 3 years. I can deal with all that. Like I said we get along great because I've learned how to adapt to an Aries personality. But this is just too much. Like many of us agree here it goes beyond an Aries personality & goes into the realm of you need to get your life together.
And you're right she does shrink at conflict. On top of that the way she was raised was not to speak up or talk back. When I let off on her she was mute. A little "Yeah, yes, I'm sorry, That's understandable." here & there. But she also said "I don't know what to say.". She's not good with confrontation. I know I must have hurt her, but not enough to shock her into action. I get the feeling she doesn't know what to do to make this right.
She said I quote, "I've asked you how to do so, and you ignore it or tell me 'do something'."
And I told her yes to do something!!! Anything!!! An action. Like hang out with me. I'm tired of hearing her words on AIM. I need to know she really cares by her getting off her a** & making an effort. I also know for her to say "I love you." to me is a big deal, but I don't care. After about 3 years it's time to show it.
But like I said this goes beyond my relationship with her.
Also when I told her she needs to say something because I'm about to walk away & not look back. She didn't say a word. I waited about an hour & not one word. So I checked her twitter to see if she was posting stuff while I'm waiting for her trying to save our friendship. I know if she's posting on twitter she's using her phone because she uses AIM through her phone. She was on twitter posting a picture of a cup & some little toy floating in it laughing like "HAHA!!!". I'm sitting there like:
"Wow, that's what you do when your best friend is about to walk out of your life & is waiting for you to say something or do something to save it!?"
I just signed off & I haven't spoken to her since.
By the way that makes me angry when I think about it. lol
LovelyMissAries:
Oh yeah & I guess so because I was, but I don't know anymore after this. I know you Aries are impulsive when it comes to love. You're sure, but Scorpios gotta feel things out & right now it's not feeling too good. The way she's treated me I'm not feeling too in love. lol
So I'll leave it with I guess because if she changed. Like showed up at my house tonight or something I would embrace her with open arms. She would never do that though. Probably playing some video games or sleeping. lol
Oh yeah & I guess so because I was, but I don't know anymore after this. I know you Aries are impulsive when it comes to love. You're sure, but Scorpios gotta feel things out & right now it's not feeling too good. The way she's treated me I'm not feeling too in love. lol
So I'll leave it with I guess because if she changed. Like showed up at my house tonight or something I would embrace her with open arms. She would never do that though. Probably playing some video games or sleeping. lol
LOOK- HERE'S THE DEAL
I am a TEXTBOOK ARIES female, through and through. I'm gonna let you know what's up: we want what we cannot have, we like a chase and if we know someone is at our beck and call (although it strokes our ego) it doesn't exactly stoke any flames of passion. We know we have you- simple
this is why WHEN you pull away she freaks out. we don't like not being in control, but we do
2 things: ONE- you need to be assertive. we love when a guy takes control (assertive but not dominant) and tells us he's feeling us. takes a lot of balls. we will respect that. You know whether she likes you as more than a friend, it even sounds like there's some possible sexual tension going on, right?
Once you tell her you want her if that's indeed what you are after- BACK OFF.
Let her chase you and let the games begin 🙂 Don't be too elusive or blow her off too much though b/c then we lose interest. we like a challenge, an obstacle, something that is harder to get but not unobtainable.
I am a TEXTBOOK ARIES female, through and through. I'm gonna let you know what's up: we want what we cannot have, we like a chase and if we know someone is at our beck and call (although it strokes our ego) it doesn't exactly stoke any flames of passion. We know we have you- simple
this is why WHEN you pull away she freaks out. we don't like not being in control, but we do
2 things: ONE- you need to be assertive. we love when a guy takes control (assertive but not dominant) and tells us he's feeling us. takes a lot of balls. we will respect that. You know whether she likes you as more than a friend, it even sounds like there's some possible sexual tension going on, right?
Once you tell her you want her if that's indeed what you are after- BACK OFF.
Let her chase you and let the games begin 🙂 Don't be too elusive or blow her off too much though b/c then we lose interest. we like a challenge, an obstacle, something that is harder to get but not unobtainable.
Posted by PhoenixScorpio
I'm a Scorpio male & my best friend is an Aries female. I haven't seen her in almost 3 years, but I've literally spoken to her all day everyday on AIM during that time period. She lives about 15 minutes away & she used to drive to pick her sister up from work & that's very close to my house. I've invited her to go out & she always says maybe then flakes out. She's not busy. She's either sleeping, watching a movie, playing video games, or just doing nothing most of the time.
She will go out w/ her other friends when they come into town or when they invite her somewhere, but she won't with me. She's an extreme flirt w/ her other friends, but never me. I get the feeling she's nervous around me. I've seen it in her body language. She's just different w/ me than her other friends.
If I don't speak to her for 3 days she gets worried & angry. She's even yelled at me, but yet she makes no attempt AT ALL to interact w/ me in any other way besides AIM. I've asked her why & told her this makes me angry, but no matter what I say she just says "I admit I'm a bad friend." "I'm sorry." and still makes no attempt at all to make this right. She tells me she loves me & misses me when I'm not around, but how can you love someone & miss someone you don't make any attempt to spend time w/ when they live 15 minutes away.
She gets very upset when I say that we're just AIM friends & she told me she has gotten as close to me as she possibly could to anyone. She's not very emotional at all. She can't really express emotion.
I just don't understand. I'm considering just cutting her off because as a Scorpio I can only take so much of this selfish bull (excuse my language). She is very selfish.
But I really do love her & I don't want to lose her as a friend. Is there something I'm not seeing about Aries personalities or am I misunderstanding something? I would like some advice from Aries women to understand before I just give up & remove her from my life.
Thanks.
we are a bit high maintenance in the emotional department, headstrong. But we are sexy, loyal, work hard..oh ahd great in bed. Its all worth it..lol
Posted by Taurianproblems
LOOK- HERE'S THE DEAL
I am a TEXTBOOK ARIES female, through and through. I'm gonna let you know what's up: we want what we cannot have, we like a chase and if we know someone is at our beck and call (although it strokes our ego) it doesn't exactly stoke any flames of passion. We know we have you- simple
this is why WHEN you pull away she freaks out. we don't like not being in control, but we do
2 things: ONE- you need to be assertive. we love when a guy takes control (assertive but not dominant) and tells us he's feeling us. takes a lot of balls. we will respect that. You know whether she likes you as more than a friend, it even sounds like there's some possible sexual tension going on, right?
Once you tell her you want her if that's indeed what you are after- BACK OFF.
Let her chase you and let the games begin 🙂 Don't be too elusive or blow her off too much though b/c then we lose interest. we like a challenge, an obstacle, something that is harder to get but not unobtainable.
exactly how we are...I always like a guy and when he starts to like me, I lose intersted. bad very bad....as I"m older now thats not the case now, however..aries male or female NEED THE CHASE. As an aries female, I LOVE TH CHASE, and I know that its better the other way around.
I read this story and Im a litte confusing...did you only want to be friends? Also I get like this when im feeling insecure I will only go to work and home...nothing personal.
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She will go out w/ her other friends when they come into town or when they invite her somewhere, but she won't with me. She's an extreme flirt w/ her other friends, but never me. I get the feeling she's nervous around me. I've seen it in her body language. She's just different w/ me than her other friends.
If I don't speak to her for 3 days she gets worried & angry. She's even yelled at me, but yet she makes no attempt AT ALL to interact w/ me in any other way besides AIM. I've asked her why & told her this makes me angry, but no matter what I say she just says "I admit I'm a bad friend." "I'm sorry." and still makes no attempt at all to make this right. She tells me she loves me & misses me when I'm not around, but how can you love someone & miss someone you don't make any attempt to spend time w/ when they live 15 minutes away.
She gets very upset when I say that we're just AIM friends & she told me she has gotten as close to me as she possibly could to anyone. She's not very emotional at all. She can't really express emotion.
I just don't understand. I'm considering just cutting her off because as a Scorpio I can only take so much of this selfish bull (excuse my language). She is very selfish.
But I really do love her & I don't want to lose her as a friend. Is there something I'm not seeing about Aries personalities or am I misunderstanding something? I would like some advice from Aries women to understand before I just give up & remove her from my life.
Thanks.