When you finally express your insecurities or hurt and someone makes it all about them.

This topic was created in the Aries forum by AprilFoolsUHoe on Saturday, January 13, 2018 and has 7 replies.

How to Handle When Someone Makes Your Vulnerability About Them

When someone shifts the focus onto themselves after you share your insecurities, it can feel invalidating. It is best to set boundaries by calmly expressing your need to be heard and understood without their stories overshadowing your feelings. Recognizing this behavior helps protect your emotional well-being and encourages healthier communication.

Profile picture of AprilFoolsUHoe
@AprilFoolsUHoe
9 Years

So you finally open up about what you’re deep down hurting about, which isn’t an often occurrence because you don’t admit to others certian things, and then the person you opened up to makes it all about them and how they had “similar” (not similar what so fucking ever) things and totally relate and explain their story and talk all about how it made them feel and then go on a tangent about themselves....what do you do?

I get really mad and feel even more like.l no one understands or tries to and shut them out fast, and never open up to them again.

Profile picture of LadyNeptune
@LadyNeptune
10 Years25,000+ Posts

It’s how people communicate. If you tell me about a terrible thing and I’ve experienced something similar I’m gonna open up about it too.

Just direct the conversation back to you.

Profile picture of SofiaV8787
@SofiaV8787
8 Years

Let them finish comparing it to whatever they think happened in their life is comparable to what u opened up about .. when they’re finished tell them “this was really hard for me to talk about , I feel like u made it just about yourself & it makes me want to shut down” .. take it from there

Profile picture of Whorpio
@Whorpio
9 Years5,000+ PostsScorpio

I have a Libra friend like this. I tried to let her decide the fate of our friendship by posing the “hypothetical” question: If you had a friend who always one ups you even when you open up to them, would you 1) Quit talking to them, 2) Pretend like it never happened, 3) Stop sharing secrets with them, or 4) Try to one up them back. She chose 2, at which point I confessed I felt like she tries to one-up me and then hinted at my double-life. For a minute she stopped trying to one up...But her true colors eventually came up again. So I’m finna fade out of her life.

I advise you do the same, OP. Ask the hypothetical question just like you did here, and see what le friend says.

Profile picture of MyStarsShine
@MyStarsShine
9 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by OCJack

Posted by MyStarsShine
Annoying

I've noticed people do that here rather than just listen to the person's story

Well I'm probably the most annoying person of all for people who love to whine about their problems. Cause I'm only gonna do 1 of 2 things: Tell you exactly what to do about the problem, and failing to be rational and follow my orders I'll just say "Holy shit why are you talking to me about this? I give 0 fucks about your stupid bullshit."

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Yes