Cancer / Aqua - how can that be?! (Page 2)

but how is this troublesome to have a cap stellium in the 5th house? 😛

what I wanted to add that on april 30 (last time I saw him) we were at his place and we had our usual fantastic talk and we kissed passionately and "dry humped" on the couch with our clothes on - why I tell you that now? Because ysterday it came back into my mind that he said "I need to be alone tonight" just right after the first time we kissed passionately through the whole apartment + then we dry humped on the couch - I THINK he might thought I wanted sex that's maybe also why he said when I doubted him being serious "do you think I'm not serious when I even want to wait for sex with you?!"

that being said, I think he got the wrong impression of me!! MAYBE that also caused him to back off completely.

So ysterday night I txted him saying that on thursday (april 30) my intentions weren't to have sex, oral or anything that crosses a line and that I think he might have a bad impression of me. Told him that I wanted to wait until both of us were sure if we want something serious or not. I said that I was a bit wild and it might have been too much for him and apologized. I ended my text with hope you are doing alright, I'm patient.

so he read it and of course no answer.... seriously.. wtf... 23 days of complete silence. of course I need to move on but seriously - from one day to another completely shutting down? wow

my last words were "I'm patient" - either he recognizes now that I'm true and serious or he thinks "omg that chick is insane" hahaha jesus I don't understand myself why I don't just let go?! crazy... I can't let go of the thought that he hides something about himself and is afraid to tell me because he might think I'd walk away. something about his sexuality which I'm not going into any further but I have a feeling it's cuz of that...

Posted by Koniucha

Posted by AquaNextDoor
but how is this troublesome to have a cap stellium in the 5th house? 😛

Perhaps because the 5th house is the house of fun and Cap is a serious sign??

I am a Cap asc, so I know serious, trust me!

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she has her "eye on the prize" with all that capricorn though.


Her eye on the prize is probably that cancer sun guy and she messed up.

Posted by Cheeseburger

Posted by AquaNextDoor
what I wanted to add that on april 30 (last time I saw him) we were at his place and we had our usual fantastic talk and we kissed passionately and "dry humped" on the couch with our clothes on - why I tell you that now? Because ysterday it came back into my mind that he said "I need to be alone tonight" just right after the first time we kissed passionately through the whole apartment + then we dry humped on the couch - I THINK he might thought I wanted sex that's maybe also why he said when I doubted him being serious "do you think I'm not serious when I even want to wait for sex with you?!"

that being said, I think he got the wrong impression of me!! MAYBE that also caused him to back off completely.

So ysterday night I txted him saying that on thursday (april 30) my intentions weren't to have sex, oral or anything that crosses a line and that I think he might have a bad impression of me. Told him that I wanted to wait until both of us were sure if we want something serious or not. I said that I was a bit wild and it might have been too much for him and apologized. I ended my text with hope you are doing alright, I'm patient.

so he read it and of course no answer.... seriously.. wtf... 23 days of complete silence. of course I need to move on but seriously - from one day to another completely shutting down? wow

Invite him out to dinner and talk about it/things. He's interested but clueless. Key statement is "I really like you but I want to take things slow."

& be more subtle.

in 6-8 weeks, he would be your bitch.

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lol

Posted by Koniucha
How did she mess up?

actually i dont know. lol

but, she doesnt have enough patience.


OP, do you not wonder why taurus and cancer are highly compatible? because taurus is the most patient sign ever!! sooooooooo slow and patient. If you don't have the patience, that takes yearrrsssss, and you have too much fire in you, it's going to frustrate you.

just my guess. 😛

i.e. a decade is like one month. 😛

Posted by Koniucha
I don't think she did anything wrong. I doubt many people have the patience for a cancer man. I say this as a Scorpio Sun, Cancer moon.

then whyd you advise for her to move on?

i mean, if she has time (capricorn) and patience (taurus) she can do it. Instead of fretting.


Yeah i do see what you mean though.


well, if she wants to be in it for the long haul. She knows what to do. 😄 😄

Hopefully he feels the same way for her. then it's good.

I can be patient... but I dont understand 24 days of silence.... if u tell me "hey gurl gimme more time" then I'm all cool. But silence kills my aqua mind... the unknown...

Well however I'm in it for the long run. I told him to hit me up in a month or so if he feels like havin dinner, told him I'd invite him. In the meantime I focus on work, school and friends.

Jesus... ain't nobody tell me I'm not dead serious about that guy haha crazy. I move on by just enjoying my life but I really really want this guy. Beside that ignoring bullshit he has EVERYTHING I wish for in a man to build a lasting relationship. I know I sound crazy and my sag mars girl will be shakin her head but jezz..... I'm in it for the long haul.

To be honest I dont get it - I never acted like this... EVER. I've only seen him 4 frikkin times and it was the best ever in the last 3yrs! Its insane how 'bad' I want him and the progress and journey etc....

It is rude. Plain rude.

I can't believe I did not read this thread earlier. Your situation reminds me a lot of mine. The difference is yours is much less complicated from the jump. I always imagined if I was in a situation like yours I would be in a full blown relationship with my Cancer. Looks like that may not be true.

Lot of silence. It is the worst.

I finally last night sent him a message telling him I will give him his space. I will leave him alone unless he contacts me. Tears me to pieces.

I am still hoping that this man gets back to you. But, I only hope he does if he is consistent and stops with the silence.

I wonder what he started typing you that one time. What made him stop? What made him hold back?

Lovoo - its a swiss dating app..

I dont know what made him stop... meeeehhhhh

Seriously - did anyone experience such a sudden complete communication break down?!

Much more extreme? How?

Another thing I can't figure out is why he didnt block me yet. I kept txting throughout the 3 weeks.. and yes I also wrote some big chunks.. no I backed off completely and deleted his number (to avoid overtexting)

I did this. Emailed the cancer I was referring to for a month. Every few days or so. Gave up all hope. Did not contact him for a week. He sent me an email exactly one month since his last email . He had excuses, but I am sure he just needed time to think. He disappeared again for another two weeks. We talked for a couple of weeks. We both kept the emotion out of it and that made it fine. As soon as I showed my emotions again he disappeared. Things get even crazier.

He was fine showing his emotions to me in the beginning. He would say something lovey, then disappear for a day or two, but that was it. As soon as I returned the emotion is when he started really disappearing. It is frustrating. It seems impossible to know at times if they are just hiding from their feelings or if they really do not want you. The worst part is if they are over you you look like a psycho still contacting them. If they still want you, you probably look like you gave up on them if you give them their space.

I left my cancer a message saying I was afraid I was bothering him. I told him I still want him, but I will leave him alone and allow him to contact me if he chooses. Did not know what else to do at this point. I have no clue what will happen. Very likely I will hear from him ...eventually. Even if I do, I know it will not be smooth sailing after that Very much a possibility I will stress and never hear a word.

True... there really isnt anything to say.. its just very disappointing and sad.

Lost bull: I really dont understand it at all... once going silent ok.. rough start. But to do it twice or more.. wtf?

I still have his book he lent me. I plan on writing him a nice short letter and put that in his mailbox together with his book (without accidentily seeing him!!!! Haha)

I wont write about how I feel now or whatever cou?d cause feelings of guilt directly. I'll write him a little thank you for the shared moments and write what I liked about them. Like I try to make him remember the super nice time we had and that I let him go, since he doesnt want me in his life anymore althought I'd have loved to keep it going. Maybeeee that will help him out of his shell

Yeh... I'm a crazy aqua girl... I know... I know

AquaNextDoor, my situation is complicated. He has many benefits to not being involved with me. But, complicated or not, the theme remains. That is why I hate your story. You seem to have no complications. Things should fall into place. I am so frustrated for you. Before coming to this forum I would have read your story and thought, "isn't it clear he is not interested?" But from all I have read, and from my own personal experience, it is not clear. I second your wtf.

AquaNextDoor, that sounds like a good plan to me. If he is interested I think you will hear from him after that. Not forceful, just returning what is his anyway. When I have heard from my cancer, that is the kind of stuff that brought him back around.

Posted by Sugarfoot
If he's going to contact you at all, he will probably do it when he thinks he's lost you. Cancers don't like losing someone who they know really cared for them. Once he thinks you're really gone, he may reach out. If he doesn't, then you know how he feels.

You guys didn't date for very long. You don't know much about his life. There could be other things going on his life that are taking priority over a dating life. He could have been mad at his secret girlfriend and contacted you on this app. He could have just realized he's gay. haha...The point is, it may not be because of YOU that you're not hearing from him. It's too bad that he doesn't feel it necessary to communicate with you despite knowing how much you'd like to hear from him. However, it tells you a lot about him.

Sometimes it seems that aquas want what they can't have the very most. How much of this is you wanting him for him and you wanting him because he won't let you have him?

that would depend on her mars in Sagittarius.

she is taking a GAMBLE on this cancer guy. and she does have alot of capricorn in the 5th.

you should be able to RELATE to her, since you have mars in leo.

LOL AND you are determined I see. Keep doing that kind of stuff. Just don't overkill. Still no contact? I want to rip him out of his shell and show him what a hot sweety he has waiting. He's probably in there freaking out seeing if you will keep trying. The little bastard will certainly come around. He's probably going to read it and laugh in his heart and eventually either tell you he doesn't want you or chase you.

I want him and what we built back, eventhough its not a lot yeh but to me it was something very special because I felt lovey dovey, save and cozy again - last time I felt like this was with my exhusband when I was a teenager!!! The cancer made me open up lile its the easiest thing on earth, I loved how I rediscovered my inner romantic and vulnerability! With him I felt understood, ACCEPTED and appreciated. Thats stuff I was missing since 3 yrs to build a foundation for a relationship to grow on. I love how he made me see that being vulnerable isnt anything bad and that I deserve closeness and being treated like a precious prize! I loved how we exchanged intimate and very private background stories of our lifes and families. I loved how he talked about his mum and grandpa.

That was what I felt we built up within these few days - that is what I want back and slowly build up.

But I also want him back as a man because the way he hugged me nobody hugged me that sincere and warm like he did.. his kisses are so comforting and heck he is hella funny and sarkastic!!!!! How he cooked for us... to die for!!! I love the way he smiles, its very sweet. He makes me feel like I'm at home with him.. I want that back.

Beside the crappy silent treatment.

When the cancer guy is under 30 years old, expect him to be like this. At that age, they are nothing but confused. 😄

he turns 31 in july haha....

I agree sugar foot

AND he'll come around. Fwiw he's probably trying to better himself right now and fix what you don't like about him.

Thank you all so much for your patience with me 🙂

Well I put the book in his mailbox WITHOUT the letter. My little gut told me to just give it back to him without another letter. I put a little 'open' note on the mailbox so he'll surely see. I rang once and left, dont want to be blamed when the book gets stolen lol.

Then I txted him (found his number in my call history from back then) 'your book is in the mailbox. I'd highly appreciate open communication from your side since I'm still standing in the dark"

Of course he didn't txt back. But feels good to have the book returned. I bet he'll wonder why I didnt put in a letter since he might think I'm still desperately trying to push my feelings on him. But I won't. I actually wrote a letter ysterday, writing down all the nice and sweet moments we shared and what I appreciated about him. But my gut just told me to not give him the letter.

I wrote a quote on insta that came to my mind afterwards 'today I chose to let live and let go because holding on to the last pages of a book won't change it's ending" he doesnt know my insta, I wrote it for myself

Good for you. You sound at peace about this. Something tells me there is a guy out there that will be very happy this guy gave up his chance.

So.... I let him be.

I brought back the book - check. Nothing from him.

I txted him now

"U won, I give up. I am sorry for disturbing you the last 4 weeks. I don't need an answer from you any longer. Thank you for the wonderful 4 days. Have a nice life, jess."

Case closed.

I felt very sad throughout the day.. and I'm fed up with feeling confused and sad.

Posted by seraph

Posted by AquaNextDoor
So.... I let him be.

I brought back the book - check. Nothing from him.

I txted him now

"U won, I give up. I am sorry for disturbing you the last 4 weeks. I don't need an answer from you any longer. Thank you for the wonderful 4 days. Have a nice life, jess."

Case closed.

I felt very sad throughout the day.. and I'm fed up with feeling confused and sad.

Can you remember the last time you felt this confused and sad?

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Hmmm.. some things in life make me sad, thats natural. But today I felt somehow really defeated (if thats the right word), I felt sad because I know I have a good heart and that he might just see me as a clingy, psycho stalker girl. That makes me sad because my intentions are good and warmhearted. My timing just sucked the last time I gave him my book.

I feel sad because it was the first time since 2012 I really opened up to a man, i opened up and showed him my "throat".. I had the feeling that its save the be vulnerable and I got hurt... sure life goes on and that doesnt mean that the next man will also pull my vulnerability and drop me in a second. But I'm very sad right now.

My scorp co worker who is a real womanizer told me that he does the same, he just drops his chicks and never answers txts etc.. and he sees it somehow as a game. I dont say that I see the cancer the same way... but it really made it clear that well... I dont know. All I know is that I'm hurt and sad

Posted by aurora

Posted by AquaNextDoor
I think I might blew it.. yesterday when I was with him I turned super red and was hot like a frikkin oven. He asked me how that comes and I told him (after stumbling over my own words) that I start falling in love with him. He said that its nice to hear but he can't tell me about how he feels yet. I got a bit insecure and I think I got a BIT pissy. I wasnt rude but he told me "remember when I told you I miss you and you didn't believe me the first moment?"... oh boy... I told him that I kinda feel rejected and left. He paid for my cab, which was really nice.. oh boy.. why can't I just shut up... he told me that he needs to be alone this night. He told me that he is serious and asked me how I could doubt that when he wants to wait to have sex and does so much for me? He is right... meh... hope he comes back soon. I txted him that I'm sorry for my little blow up and that he should let me know when he feels like seeing me.

He is so open and shows so much affection and care, tells me how he cant sleep cuz he thinks of me so much... but when I tell him that I'm slowly falling in love he backs off and won't tell me how he feels...

yes, you messed up right here. it was ok that you were honest, though i personally think it was early for that kind of a talk but it is really ok, but leaving cause he couldn't say the same was, and i would see it the same way he probably did, as a huge red flag. i would see you as someone not so mature and selfish. i would see a potential for drama, and creating a problem where there's none. not to mention you've just started dating.
and i doubt he'll contact you again.
now, try to learn something out of this, there's nothing wrong that you fall for him that fast, just find strength to carry those emotions without so much fear. cause if you kept acting normal after what you said, i'm sure you would still be dating. good luck, you're still young, you'll learn.

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Ah no no, he said that he'll get me a cab since he wanted to be alone that night. He mentioned it before we took a walk in the rain together.
Should have mentioned that.. however...

And it wasnt about him saying the same... I got insecure because he refused to say anything about that. Well.. I know I blew it... 😢

It was his book. He didnt contact me at all, so I returned it since its kinda over for me. Why should I keep his property knowing he might feel uncomfortable asking me for his book.

I would NEVER leave someone in the dark like that. Never

Yes, I learned from that. My insecurities are my own biggest enemies. That has to stop

Posted by seraph

Posted by AquaNextDoor


I feel sad because it was the first time since 2012 I really opened up to a man, i opened up and showed him my "throat".. I had the feeling that its save the be vulnerable and I got hurt... sure life goes on and that doesnt mean that the next man will also pull my vulnerability and drop me in a second. But I'm very sad right now.

My scorp co worker who is a real womanizer told me that he does the same, he just drops his chicks and never answers txts etc.. and he sees it somehow as a game. I dont say that I see the cancer the same way... but it really made it clear that well... I dont know. All I know is that I'm hurt and sad

"sure life goes on"

Even with all your sadness and confusion right now (from which you'll learn), you already understand the nature of these things, though you aren't embracing it.

This is the nature of all thoughts and sensations: they come and go. Your previous problems seemed equally as pressing and important in their time as your current problem does now (replace "problems" with "feelings", if you like), but they are no more, absent from the present by force of nature. If this is the nature of thoughts and sensations, then your present difficulties share the same destiny.

Be with what's going on now, but also be aware that there's no point in attaching to it. As much as you're being with your feelings of sadness and confusion now, also be — even if only intellectually — with the knowledge, right now, that not too far into the future what you're experiencing now will join the ranks of your previous troubles that are no more. This has universal application in your life.

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Very wise words... thank you very much & thanks to everybody giving me input!!! I am so amazed by the numbers of replies and the genuine effort to help!

I know that this feeling is temporaly, and I'm looking forward to a better tomorrow!

Little update: still nothing from the crab.. I think he'll never contact me again, which is ok because seriously.. if something is wrong or bothers you then speak up.. if he trips over something like that in the beginning, how would he treat me when we were a couple and got into a fight? nah thanks... I made mistakes, yes, but there is no excuse for lame shutting out

and guess what??_ I met another crab recently and he has almost the same placements as the other one haha when I saw it I was like —what the hell?!??

The crab I'm dating now has his asc and moon in sag + a leo merc — which plays along very well with my leo asc and sag mars. His venus is also in cancer plus mars in scorpio — just like the former crab.
He is caring in the same way but much more open, straight forward and hellaaaaaa funny. Well I learned my lesson with the other crab and I'm much calmer now and actually enjoy the courtship. Easy going now !

HE DID ANSWER!

last week I sent him a link to my latest blogpost (a great one) and txted a little "wish I had dates with you" - u know just to let him know that I'm still there.

today(!) he texted me the first time since fucking april 30!!!! "please stop! all of it is just too much for me"

that being said - I know it's over but hey!!! that's what I really wanted all along.. a reaction! so I texted back "... an answer... thank you.. feels good"

now I'm really able to move on... jesus 1.5h months to give a damn answer... but hey.. I feel much better now.

Posted by StarChild63
He he's blow because you didnt believe him when he was being true to his heart. For people wondering why a cancer will suffer in silence and let the love of their life walk right out of their life--this is why. Cancers have some intense loving styles so when people don't get them they are blown because they don't love like normal people and the y know most people have never loved like that before and they don't want to look like the "obsessed one" or "crazy in love" or what not. They know they can be a lot of love and sexual and intense experience for people so they feel like going forward only when they know it will be understood and respected and reciprocated. If not they will silently distance themself because the love that they want to give you or explain what love they want to give you is not easily put into words. You can't talk about it you can only go with the flow and be a part of this unexplainable type of deep love so if you reject it they don't feel like they even can explain it and even if they could they wouldn't because they don't feel like you deserve any of it anyway so they just knock you off their pedestal and replace it with something that makes them feel love or something tht won't make pissed or rejected.

Spot on star child.

I also get a magnetic, intense feeling from aquas.