cancer male... SO CONFUSED

Hey everyone..
so i've been a huge believer in astrology for quite some time.. never reached out though about it so here i go..
i've been on and off in a very rocky but very passionate relationship with a cancer male. ( i am a taurus female) for about 5 years.
it started off really wonderful. he was the sweetest ever. then the break up's began. ( we started dating very young) we're both 25 now. he would tell me he didn't know what he wanted/confused/needed to find himself.
this has been going on for the whole last 4 years of our "relationship" even though we haven't been officially together, he comes back, disappears, comes back, disappears, like clockwork!
I dont understand. the love we have for each other is very deep and real; however, we did argue A LOT. and we both know that we are not so good for one another..but yet we love each other and it's so hard to let go.
anyway- too much has transpired to begin to talk about it all.. but basically, is this normal cancer male behaviour? im so fed up and confused. I just saw him again after a while the other night (yes we had sex) but it was more than just sex.. he's extremely* affectionate, cuddly, says he loves me thousands of times and smothers me with love when we're together. then.. he's gone.
I understand it's typical male behaviour to pull away after he's gotten what he wanted.. but at this point, after this many years(and we've both seen other people in between) I don't know anymore if it's only that. his emotions run deep.. and he has many deep seeded issues that he has admitted to.also he is a bit immature for his age.. he is having trouble finding himself.. but i love him so much and I know he cares for me.
why does he disappear? what should i do? i'm beginning to think I need to just cut him out of my life for good.. but neither of us have ever been able to do that 😢

he also is very possessive of me.. extremely jealous/doesn't want me talking to other guys but yet won't commit to me either..HA

You're imagining things and confusing yourself.

Just because he was affectionate and cuddly doesn't mean he has deep feelings and secretly wants your vag. He just wants to use you to get off in and move along. It's pretty obvious. Quit being so naive and desperate about it.

Ditch the jerk already.

Posted by roxylexy10
Hey everyone..
so i've been a huge believer in astrology for quite some time.. never reached out though about it so here i go..
i've been on and off in a very rocky but very passionate relationship with a cancer male. ( i am a taurus female) for about 5 years.
it started off really wonderful. he was the sweetest ever. then the break up's began. ( we started dating very young) we're both 25 now. he would tell me he didn't know what he wanted/confused/needed to find himself.
this has been going on for the whole last 4 years of our "relationship" even though we haven't been officially together, he comes back, disappears, comes back, disappears, like clockwork!
I dont understand. the love we have for each other is very deep and real; however, we did argue A LOT. and we both know that we are not so good for one another..but yet we love each other and it's so hard to let go.
anyway- too much has transpired to begin to talk about it all.. but basically, is this normal cancer male behaviour? im so fed up and confused. I just saw him again after a while the other night (yes we had sex) but it was more than just sex.. he's extremely* affectionate, cuddly, says he loves me thousands of times and smothers me with love when we're together. then.. he's gone.
I understand it's typical male behaviour to pull away after he's gotten what he wanted.. but at this point, after this many years(and we've both seen other people in between) I don't know anymore if it's only that. his emotions run deep.. and he has many deep seeded issues that he has admitted to.also he is a bit immature for his age.. he is having trouble finding himself.. but i love him so much and I know he cares for me.
why does he disappear? what should i do? i'm beginning to think I need to just cut him out of my life for good.. but neither of us have ever been able to do that 😢

Sounds similar to me and my cancer bf. Break up, come back, things are good, I somehow slip up and hurt his feelings, break up again.. We've been together a little over a year now and have broken up like 3 times. He never stays gone too long. It's so confusing and hurts like hell each time he does it. A part of me thinks it might be some sort of emotional manipulation/punishment. Idk. I love him to death though. I wish I knew how to handle it better or at least understand him and his behavior. He's so

Post cut off... *he's so very sensitive

Posted by rockyroadicecream
You're imagining things and confusing yourself.

Just because he was affectionate and cuddly doesn't mean he has deep feelings and secretly wants your vag. He just wants to use you to get off in and move along. It's pretty obvious. Quit being so naive and desperate about it.

Ditch the jerk already.

After 5 years its much more than just sex. It's understandable to see it from that point of view only, and it could be, however, we have talked about marriage/working things out/family amongst other things and much has transpired on a deeper level than just sex. He can find sex elsewhere if it's only that. the issue is us as a couple not being able to communicate efficiently and trying to work things out to make it work.

Posted by SomnambulistWolfen
Post cut off... *he's so very sensitive

Yes! I agree. It does seem like a manipulation. And most of the time, i think, i don't know that I have hurt/upset him. It's awful. I hate it and it does hurt like hell. He also does not ever communicate his feelings. or he will jokingly do so as if to guard himself. When he rarely does, he retreats afterwards like he shouldn't have let himself exposed. Idk either. I guess this is normal cancer behaviour..

You two cannot recognize a healthy relationship if it bit you in the ass.

Hope the two of you wake up to reality someday and in the meantime, get on birth control because society cannot afford more delusional individuals such as yourselves.

What are your guy's Venus, Moon, Mercuey, etc..

Posted by Moonbutter
What are your guy's Venus, Moon, Mercuey, etc..

His moon is gemini, and so is his venus (my venus is also gemini) my moon is aquarius
his mercury is leo, mine is aries
his mars is taurus, mine is cancer

Posted by Moonbutter
What are your guy's Venus, Moon, Mercuey, etc..

His moon is gemini, and so is his venus (my venus is also gemini) my moon is aquarius
his mercury is leo, mine is aries
his mars is taurus, mine is cancer

Posted by Rachelannthepisces
Sounds like my relationship with my Cancer man. He hasn't talked to me in 4 months, but at first things were great and fabulous and the sex was full of passion and we discussed our future home and kids together, then one day he needed a break. It's been really confusing and difficult but I've come to the conclusion that if I keep coming back he'll just think he can continue to do that to me. I suggest telling him how you feel and give him an ultimatum. Tell him you're tired of playing games and you don't want to waste your life on him if he's not serious, and that's true, you really don't. And if he still keeps on playing the wishy-washy game, then cut off contact for a little bit. Make him think you're serious.

lol and you think you're "helping" with your "positive" advice.

There needs to be no ultimatium. Guys like this can play off of that and still jerk you around.

TELL him how it is and be done with it. You're too soft to be giving advice, honey. I'm sure this will damage your "positive" obsession, but too damned bad.

I completely understand what you're going through. I've been seeing a cancer man for a few months now. He's doing the same to me. Sex is out of this world but his moods are tough to deal with , im a taurus female as well. I've been pretty patient with him. He seems to be pretty immature and I can tell he cares but he doesn't care enough to take your feelings into consideration so I think after 5 years it's time to pull the plug.

Not only do I understand what you're going through, I'm also currently living it. It's become my reality. I'm a Scorpio Sun, Virgo moon lady who has been in a relationship with a Cancer sun, Aquarius moon man for almost 6 years. We went though the back and forth, on and off, hot and cold BS for years and it's still happening- difference is now we're married. I've forgiven one countless indiscretion after another and it's only gotten harder. Undeniably I love him, he means everything to me... But I do wonder if that's how he wanted it to be- me in love, him in control. I question his motive for marrying me sometimes which is torturous! I won't go into specifics about my situation but I feel that a lot of times, people will only reach out when it's beneficial for them. From what you're saying, it seems he understands that you will always be there when HE feels like crawling back to you, only because you've allowed this dynamic to exist between you two. I know it's hard but I genuinely think you should walk away for good... I know that's rich coming from me! But if you don't want to keep going around in circles and dealing with the same shit then you have to make the decision to move on. I'm 25 too and I've been with him since I was 19 and this is the most difficult thing I've ever dealt with. He's cheated, gambled away so much money, abused me physically and emotionally, but I'm still working on leaving... It's so sad because Im no longer the confident girl I used to be. If you don't want to become a shadow of the person you used to be then please leave now. I'm not going to go on about cancer men and their traits as I'm sure by now you know lots about that. Ive read so much into cancer men and although I feel that I know them a whole lot better, my situation is the same. I'm unhappy. I want out. It's one of the hardest things you will ever have to do but walk away if you can find the strength to.

Sincerely,

A lady who loves a damaged cancer.

Immaturity more than astrology. But if you want the astrology side: The Cancer sun part is the clinging to the relationship, unable to let go and move on. Gemini in Venus, though, is a placement that makes any kind of monogamy difficult, as it doesn't really make sense to us (I share this placement as well). It's a strong conflict with the Cancer sense of loyalty, and he's obviously not mature or self-aware enough to deal with that. Or, even more likely, he doesn't care, and his Gemini moon is letting him off the emotional hook.

Here's where that leaves you: Given the history you share, this relationship isn't going to get better. Even if you see the light and try to end it for real, you're going to have to seriously chase him off and scare him away, or else he will just keep coming back and charming his way back in and sending your world spinning, over and over. You're probably going to have to hurt his feelings pretty seriously, for both of your sakes. Be prepared for that, and the inevitable backlash. Be strong.

This has nothing to do with astrology. He's using you as his feel good ego boost. When he gets his fix, he goes on to the next fix. If he thinks you're going to shut him down, he pops in and tries to keep you hooked with the love bombing. No, it's not going to get better.

Posted by MelEleven21
He's cheated, gambled away so much money, abused me physically and emotionally, but I'm still working on leaving... It's so sad because Im no longer the confident girl I used to be.

Sincerely,

A lady who loves a damaged cancer.

this is more than enough to make any woman leave. what could be worse if you leave———??

and then...what is left to love about this man? i simply don't get it...