Cancer man gone cold right after he confirmed we are dating exclusively? (Page 2)

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

Didn't take long to prove I was right about him stringing you along. Move on girl.

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

You are exhausting him. He told you he os stressed and you are adding to it even though uou said you do not want to.

Just try and give him space and relax. Dont cut the cord off of a quick assumption.

Darling I think he is just stringing her along. If she was sending what she quoted earlier, it should be harmless, as she was accepting his apologies, showering care and her standard, encouragement blah blah blah.

click to expand

Doubtful, a man wouldnt say yes we are exclusive if he had no intentions of seeing her. I think at this point what is happening is her repeating her question, "are we exclusive" when he already shared with her that they were came off as needy. Now he is probably freaking out or wondering if the cool girl is going to become the needy, always need to check in girl that they are exclusive. Hence the pullback. I dont think he is over her, I think he just feels as if she needs A LOT of attention and it is probably adding some stress to an already stressful situation.

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Andalusia
Still haven't answered when his birthday is. Dont think youre going to.

I'm betting it's July 21st or something equally ridiculously far away at this point.

already pass... lol

why is his birthday so important to you?

Love it is an astrology site, she was probably going to offer to chart read but you evading the question.

She said she is not a chart reader.

click to expand

Thanks for the play by play...even if she is not a chart reader it is an astrology site, the question of DOB is not a weird inquiry.

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

Didn't take long to prove I was right about him stringing you along. Move on girl.

click to expand

The "I told you so," seems like you enjoy the misery. You may be too invested in her relationship with thia guy.OP just fall back, go radio silent, delete his number out your phone if you must (remember a few digits, so if he calls or text you know it is him) but this will keep you from reaching out. Disappear for a week...two, three, however long necessary, the distance will bring forth the truth.

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

Didn't take long to prove I was right about him stringing you along. Move on girl.

The "I told you so," seems like you enjoy the misery. You may be too invested in her relationship with thia guy.OP just fall back, go radio silent, delete his number out your phone if you must (remember a few digits, so if he calls or text you know it is him) but this will keep you from reaching out. Disappear for a week...two, three, however long necessary, the distance will bring forth the truth.

click to expand

No I'm not enjoying the misery. I like things to work for her. Anyway if they need a break of a week or two this early on. I doubt it's meant to be.

If I remember correctly he never directly communicate they were exclusive. He only dropped hints and that's why some dxper were challenging her saying they are not exclusive. May be that's why you needed to check?

Didn't she say he has lots of time on other apps after her latest text? Does that says enough volume already?

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

You are exhausting him. He told you he os stressed and you are adding to it even though uou said you do not want to.

Just try and give him space and relax. Dont cut the cord off of a quick assumption.

Darling I think he is just stringing her along. If she was sending what she quoted earlier, it should be harmless, as she was accepting his apologies, showering care and her standard, encouragement blah blah blah.

Doubtful, a man wouldnt say yes we are exclusive if he had no intentions of seeing her. I think at this point what is happening is her repeating her question, "are we exclusive" when he already shared with her that they were came off as needy. Now he is probably freaking out or wondering if the cool girl is going to become the needy, always need to check in girl that they are exclusive. Hence the pullback. I dont think he is over her, I think he just feels as if she needs A LOT of attention and it is probably adding some stress to an already stressful situation.

click to expand

Personally I think if a guy says they are exclusive and then pullback with distance. It is simply a move to make sure she is not sleeping with anyone else, if he cares a few text here and there to check in isn't too hard? I might have got it wrong. Didn't seem like she specifically asked for frequency of forms of communications.

Again I'm only getting the impression from her update post earlier.

@illuminati @malloryor

Thanks for both of your input. I guess I will just write him off. I never bombarded him with text, he should know I'm not needy. he was apologizing and said he knows it must be annoying and frustrating for me when he goes into hiding.

I let him know it's neither annoying or frustating, it's just confusing for me as i can't tell what is going on. also ideally i like a man to show he is very interested at this early stage, by seeing me or making a plan to see me if he is very busy.

I get he is busy, however in the past he would let me know ahead that hey im busy this week I can't see you, i wish I could see you sooner. this time no frustration on his part. that's why I think i need to let him know how I feel, I kinda expect him to read mind in the past.

Go spoil yourself, I can tell you are a very nice person. You will find a better man soon.

@illuminati @malloryor @arielle83

A shocking update... he admit to me he fell into depression last week and we communicate openly.. we asked to meet up. Poor guy, I wish I could help

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Poppyseeds
@illuminati @malloryor @arielle83

A shocking update... he admit to me he fell into depression last week and we communicate openly.. we asked to meet up. Poor guy, I wish I could help

That's what cave time is. Dealing with ourselves. If you push to get in, you'll get bitten back.

click to expand

lucky i didn't get bitten / pinched, your line worked and we communicated more openly. Apart from cave time i hope there's something else to help him. Depression sounds really serious to me...

Depression? Clinically proven or what?

It could be an excuse he made up as he realized he could lose you after what you told him.

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

You are exhausting him. He told you he os stressed and you are adding to it even though uou said you do not want to.

Just try and give him space and relax. Dont cut the cord off of a quick assumption.

Darling I think he is just stringing her along. If she was sending what she quoted earlier, it should be harmless, as she was accepting his apologies, showering care and her standard, encouragement blah blah blah.

Doubtful, a man wouldnt say yes we are exclusive if he had no intentions of seeing her. I think at this point what is happening is her repeating her question, "are we exclusive" when he already shared with her that they were came off as needy. Now he is probably freaking out or wondering if the cool girl is going to become the needy, always need to check in girl that they are exclusive. Hence the pullback. I dont think he is over her, I think he just feels as if she needs A LOT of attention and it is probably adding some stress to an already stressful situation.

Personally I think if a guy says they are exclusive and then pullback with distance. It is simply a move to make sure she is not sleeping with anyone else, if he cares a few text here and there to check in isn't too hard? I might have got it wrong. Didn't seem like she specifically asked for frequency of forms of communications.

Again I'm only getting the impression from her update post earlier.

click to expand

Makes total sense actually. What a jerk move if that is actually what he is doing. Hmm seems like Mr..Cancer needs to just focus on work and not a relationship since he is too busy, lol I would probably say something sassy like that and then leave.

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by Poppyseeds
@arielle83 sent him the text in the morning, no respond. He said he's been in cave mode.. but I saw him on chatting apps many times today... at one point we both were on for 10 minutes...

Seems like he has time to chat with others just no time to talk to me..

I think it's a bit rude to do that especially when he was giving me a sincere apology and I was accepting his apology and showing him care?

I honestly duuno what to think anymore..

if he is wanting to end things but lacking the courage I'm not sure if I should end it myself..

Didn't take long to prove I was right about him stringing you along. Move on girl.

The "I told you so," seems like you enjoy the misery. You may be too invested in her relationship with thia guy.OP just fall back, go radio silent, delete his number out your phone if you must (remember a few digits, so if he calls or text you know it is him) but this will keep you from reaching out. Disappear for a week...two, three, however long necessary, the distance will bring forth the truth.

No I'm not enjoying the misery. I like things to work for her. Anyway if they need a break of a week or two this early on. I doubt it's meant to be.

If I remember correctly he never directly communicate they were exclusive. He only dropped hints and that's why some dxper were challenging her saying they are not exclusive. May be that's why you needed to check?

Didn't she say he has lots of time on other apps after her latest text? Does that says enough volume already?

click to expand

Idk, I remember her saying they both expressed quite verbally they were seeing other people and then she reasked and he was like "yeah, I already told you," in my opinion I am betting that came off as insecure and needy...it's like asking hey..we are still dating right? Hey you are still my bf right? As examples...



AnywayI do agree if OP disappeara on him for 2 weeks, hell even a week and he says nothing I do think it is a sign that he was not too invested or serious. Which is why I support her falling back.

They were NOT seeing others*** @illuminati

Posted by Poppyseeds
@illuminati @malloryor @arielle83

A shocking update... he admit to me he fell into depression last week and we communicate openly.. we asked to meet up. Poor guy, I wish I could help

Leave him. You can be there as his friend but that makes me leery, sounds like a possible excuse to keep you around at his beck and call. Depression is no joke, and it is very real but you do not want to be in a relationahip with someone who does not have that undercontrol because it can lead to an unhealthy, codependent or abusive relationship.

Please just trist me on this. Talk to him, but do go with your gut and look at aigns to see how truthful he is.

Posted by malloryor
They were NOT seeing others*** @illuminati

I figured you did a typo of something. I dunno the dude and not saying that is what he is doing. Just saying it is possible.

if what he said is real about depression it's great that he is letting her in. As most men wouldn't admit they are in depression or feeling depressed.

@malloryor sounds like you dated someone with depression before?

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor
They were NOT seeing others*** @illuminati

I figured you did a typo of something. I dunno the dude and not saying that is what he is doing. Just saying it is possible.

if what he said is real about depression it's great that he is letting her in. As most men wouldn't admit they are in depression or feeling depressed.

@malloryor sounds like you dated someone with depression before?

click to expand

No, I just dated someone who wanted to keep control over me. It turned into a codependent relationship of sorts. So I just want OP to be careful, also maybe I have just become a cynic but it seems like a fine time to tell aomeone you have depression as an excuse for bad behavior.

Idk maybe he does have depression. I have struggled with and can attest that you do disppear at times while dealing with it but given how you and others have said he has done games before with her idk what to think.

Posted by malloryor

Posted by Illuminati

Posted by malloryor
They were NOT seeing others*** @illuminati

I figured you did a typo of something. I dunno the dude and not saying that is what he is doing. Just saying it is possible.

if what he said is real about depression it's great that he is letting her in. As most men wouldn't admit they are in depression or feeling depressed.

@malloryor sounds like you dated someone with depression before?

No, I just dated someone who wanted to keep control over me. It turned into a codependent relationship of sorts. So I just want OP to be careful, also maybe I have just become a cynic but it seems like a fine time to tell aomeone you have depression as an excuse for bad behavior.

Idk maybe he does have depression. I have struggled with and can attest that you do disppear at times while dealing with it but given how you and others have said he has done games before with her idk what to think.

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His games are my interpretation. I guess only the OP would know. So far I see there are people who tell her to chill and others tell her to leave.

I'm saying chill. Like in every thread posted. Sheesh.

Posted by kissmygrits
I'm saying chill. Like in every thread posted. Sheesh.

I might have jumped the gun... he was the one who said lets try to see each other this week. let me know when you are free.

I responded asking him if Thursday is good. along with other encouraging words... no respond

it's just really disrespectful as now he is leaving me in limbo land, he can say yes or no. so I can make other plans

So I sent another text on his favorite chatting app to ask if we could meet up for a coffee sometime this week. because i have another plans on the weekend. let me know if it works. no reply.

I know you said chill. but now I'm really afraid this "depression" could be an excuse

Posted by Explicit
Lol the people who say "HE'S JUST BUSY!"

Um, I don't care how busy someone is. How long does it take to send a text? You're supposed to be "exclusive" with this guy and you haven't heard from him in days?... That makes zero sense. I don't know what kind of "relationship" this is but it definitely doesn't seem legit.

He's either stringing you along, not sure about his feelings towards you or is connecting with another woman in his life (most likely at his workplace).

I think you need to respect yourself enough not to deal with this bullshit and move on. You deserve better.

My dad has always worked like a horse. He's always been super busy. But guess what? He makes sure to call my mom every day, numerous times a day, from work.

I get what you're saying, his work is project base and i know he meet a lot of ppl through work. it's very likely...

Posted by Explicit
Also, I don't care what kind of depression someone is in. I've been in horrific depression before and had horrible anxiety to top it off. But if I liked someone, I definitely made time for them.

If you truly like someone, you're not going to disappear for days (unless you hurt them). If you're truly into someone, you're going to want to talk to them every day, even if it's for 3 minutes. This is not normal behavior.

when we started dating we don't really do daily communications, but it was a lot more engaging for sure... out of curiousity how did you overcome your depression?

Posted by Explicit

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Explicit
Also, I don't care what kind of depression someone is in. I've been in horrific depression before and had horrible anxiety to top it off. But if I liked someone, I definitely made time for them.

If you truly like someone, you're not going to disappear for days (unless you hurt them). If you're truly into someone, you're going to want to talk to them every day, even if it's for 3 minutes. This is not normal behavior.

when we started dating we don't really do daily communications, but it was a lot more engaging for sure... out of curiousity how did you overcome your depression?

I still struggle with it daily but it's not half as intense as it used to be. Now depression comes over me for maybe like a half hour a day. Before it literally consumed me all day, every day for a good six years. It got better when I became pro-active about the situation and seeked professional help. And with time I've gotten over and accepted lot of things from my past that really haunted me to the point of obsession. Time does heal most wounds. And others you just learn to cope with.

click to expand

it's good you seeked professional help, im glad you won the battle.

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by kissmygrits
I'm saying chill. Like in every thread posted. Sheesh.

I might have jumped the gun... he was the one who said lets try to see each other this week. let me know when you are free.

I responded asking him if Thursday is good. along with other encouraging words... no respond

it's just really disrespectful as now he is leaving me in limbo land, he can say yes or no. so I can make other plans

So I sent another text on his favorite chatting app to ask if we could meet up for a coffee sometime this week. because i have another plans on the weekend. let me know if it works. no reply.

I know you said chill. but now I'm really afraid this "depression" could be an excuse

click to expand

When people are having anxiety or depression issues they withdraw from everyone.

Posted by Poppyseeds

Posted by Explicit
Lol the people who say "HE'S JUST BUSY!"

Um, I don't care how busy someone is. How long does it take to send a text? You're supposed to be "exclusive" with this guy and you haven't heard from him in days?... That makes zero sense. I don't know what kind of "relationship" this is but it definitely doesn't seem legit.

He's either stringing you along, not sure about his feelings towards you or is connecting with another woman in his life (most likely at his workplace).

I think you need to respect yourself enough not to deal with this bullshit and move on. You deserve better.

My dad has always worked like a horse. He's always been super busy. But guess what? He makes sure to call my mom every day, numerous times a day, from work.

I get what you're saying, his work is project base and i know he meet a lot of ppl through work. it's very likely...

click to expand

Just curious, what does he do?

This is all oddly familiar.