deciphering cancers!!

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MondayMorning
@MondayMorning
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 337 · Topics: 15
I think they are quite open and show that they like you at first - but they will only really open up once they know it will be reciprocated.

They tend to be old fashioned, so they will court you and call you a lot and make you feel very special. They are very charming.

They care for you deeply if they talk to you about their deepest thoughts and feelings, and they want you to meet their family. They will also be jealous and possessive of you.

However...if they really like you, they can be insecure and have a habit of pushing you away, but this is usually once they know they are falling in love.
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alaska
@alaska
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 3
Posted by MondayMorning
I think they are quite open and show that they like you at first - but they will only really open up once they know it will be reciprocated.

They tend to be old fashioned, so they will court you and call you a lot and make you feel very special. They are very charming.

They care for you deeply if they talk to you about their deepest thoughts and feelings, and they want you to meet their family. They will also be jealous and possessive of you.

However...if they really like you, they can be insecure and have a habit of pushing you away, but this is usually once they know they are falling in love.
thank you!! 🙂

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alaska
@alaska
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 3
Posted by notsosure
Wrong place to ask this question. Nobody here is in a happy relationship with a cancer male 😄

I mean, I don´t doubt one second that the cancer guy I dated liked me. But was he interested to really be with me? No. I was someone who he had sex with, who cared for him, he shared things with me sometimes, didn´t give a shit at others, probably tryed to evolve a little, and he liked me, but not for a moment throughout knowing me, was he thinking he wanted a relationship with me. But yeah, ofcours he liked me. What an idiot he would be, if he kept being in my presence and not like me. That´s just logic.
I asked because there's this cancer guy that seems to be sending me really mixed messages. He acts like he wants to get to know me better but then he's also seems shy and sort of steps back. It's weird ahah

But yeah, sure looks like everybody here doesn't like cancer males ahaha xD
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alaska
@alaska
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 3
Posted by notsosure
Seems like you have made up your mind about him though, calling him "shy" is a way of saying to yourself, that he really does like you and want to get to know you, but he is just shy.

So why spend your time here asking strangers, waiting for someone to say the magic word that will validate your own thoughts on this? Why not just go for it, see what happens, and if it´s not what you thought, then lesson learned and move on 🙂
You don't need to say sorry! Thanks so much for you're honesty! You're right, maybe your "magic words" were what i needed to hear. I'm overanalysing everything as usual, i shouldn't be afraid to go and figure this out for myself. I've got nothing to lose, right? In all honesty i might be the one who is shy and pushing him away. Time to get out of my head ahah. You helped a lot, thanks really!
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MondayMorning
@MondayMorning
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 337 · Topics: 15
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by rabidtalker
OP, You'll get the same people posting on here how they were screwed over by cancer males in every new cancer male post. Sometimes there will be new made up account names, but the vehemence is the same.


The "Cancer man left me" thread cut that back some.

Some of the "new" accounts were pretty suspect to be sure.
click to expand

I agree with @rabidtalker that maybe people who are happy and secure and not confused won't ask strangers for help. I think if someone is obviously NOT happy and NOT secure that it's not amusing to have threads like "cancer man left me". I have said it multiple times before, but it's not really funny - an d if that is actually true and it discourages people from posting and asking for help then that is kind of tragic actually.

I was going through a lot of pain and confusion with my cancer man, and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone properly in real life about it. The internet and places like this, could and should provide people with a safe haven to go for that kind of help. It's sad to see it dissipate because of trolling - and yes - threads like that ARE trolling.

This thread is a good example of what I see going kind of downhill sadly. When I joined this site I found a bunch of really helpful and relevant threads from a few years back where people had written the most insightful and helpful stuff.

Nowadays, for the most part, it's dumb off the cuff comments, in jokes, trying to embarrass or belittle the poster, memes and just generally like being on the back seat of the bus in kindergarten.

I don't mean to disrespect those engaging in all that, but expressing an opinion that they could actually contribute to helping someone or connecting with someone instead of all this teenage stuff.

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Cancan
@Cancan26
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 605 · Posts: 5516 · Topics: 158
Posted by MondayMorning
I think they are quite open and show that they like you at first - but they will only really open up once they know it will be reciprocated.

They tend to be old fashioned, so they will court you and call you a lot and make you feel very special. They are very charming.

They care for you deeply if they talk to you about their deepest thoughts and feelings, and they want you to meet their family. They will also be jealous and possessive of you.

However...if they really like you, they can be insecure and have a habit of pushing you away, but this is usually once they know they are falling in love.
Image Not Found

wow...look at you ...I thought for sure you would have something negative to say ..but no ..this is all fairly correct
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Cancan
@Cancan26
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 605 · Posts: 5516 · Topics: 158
Posted by MondayMorning
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by rabidtalker
OP, You'll get the same people posting on here how they were screwed over by cancer males in every new cancer male post. Sometimes there will be new made up account names, but the vehemence is the same.


The "Cancer man left me" thread cut that back some.

Some of the "new" accounts were pretty suspect to be sure.
I agree with @rabidtalker that maybe people who are happy and secure and not confused won't ask strangers for help. I think if someone is obviously NOT happy and NOT secure that it's not amusing to have threads like "cancer man left me". I have said it multiple times before, but it's not really funny - an d if that is actually true and it discourages people from posting and asking for help then that is kind of tragic actually.

I was going through a lot of pain and confusion with my cancer man, and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone properly in real life about it. The internet and places like this, could and should provide people with a safe haven to go for that kind of help. It's sad to see it dissipate because of trolling - and yes - threads like that ARE trolling.

This thread is a good example of what I see going kind of downhill sadly. When I joined this site I found a bunch of really helpful and relevant threads from a few years back where people had written the most insightful and helpful stuff.

Nowadays, for the most part, it's dumb off the cuff comments, in jokes, trying to embarrass or belittle the poster, memes and just generally like being on the back seat of the bus in kindergarten.

I don't mean to disrespect those engaging in all that, but expressing an opinion that they could actually contribute to helping someone or connecting with someone instead of all this teenage stuff.

click to expand

as we told you many times before the poster didn't want help ...they wanted to a place to take all their frustration and angry at ..they wanted a place to bash ...and when we (cancers) wouldn't jump on board they got upset and said that they were being belitted ...they couldn't see past there own hurt feelings ..to take into consideration that they may have contributed to the situation they are in ...
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Cancan
@Cancan26
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 605 · Posts: 5516 · Topics: 158
Posted by MondayMorning
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by rabidtalker
OP, You'll get the same people posting on here how they were screwed over by cancer males in every new cancer male post. Sometimes there will be new made up account names, but the vehemence is the same.


The "Cancer man left me" thread cut that back some.

Some of the "new" accounts were pretty suspect to be sure.
I agree with @rabidtalker that maybe people who are happy and secure and not confused won't ask strangers for help. I think if someone is obviously NOT happy and NOT secure that it's not amusing to have threads like "cancer man left me". I have said it multiple times before, but it's not really funny - an d if that is actually true and it discourages people from posting and asking for help then that is kind of tragic actually.

I was going through a lot of pain and confusion with my cancer man, and didn't feel like I could talk to anyone properly in real life about it. The internet and places like this, could and should provide people with a safe haven to go for that kind of help. It's sad to see it dissipate because of trolling - and yes - threads like that ARE trolling.

This thread is a good example of what I see going kind of downhill sadly. When I joined this site I found a bunch of really helpful and relevant threads from a few years back where people had written the most insightful and helpful stuff.

Nowadays, for the most part, it's dumb off the cuff comments, in jokes, trying to embarrass or belittle the poster, memes and just generally like being on the back seat of the bus in kindergarten.

I don't mean to disrespect those engaging in all that, but expressing an opinion that they could actually contribute to helping someone or connecting with someone instead of all this teenage stuff.

click to expand

as we told you many times before the posters didn't want help ...they wanted to a place to take all their frustration and anger at ..they wanted a place to bash ...and when we (cancers) wouldn't jump on board they got upset and said that they were being belitted ...they couldn't see past their own hurt feelings ..to take into consideration that they may have contributed to the situation they are in ...
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MondayMorning
@MondayMorning
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 337 · Topics: 15
@Cancan26 you guys quoted me personally twice on that thread, and I assure you, I wanted help and was not arguing or bashing anyone. I also left my cancer male and still got quoted on the thread. None of you contributed in any way to my threads...you just copied and pasted me and made a joke out of my (very painful) break up with someone I actually loved.

You don't discriminate at all...you just post up everyone who is having a problem with a cancer male -irrespective of how genuine their request for help is. you guys seem to be good at dishing it out but less good at taking on board constructive criticism from your fellow board members who find your behavior destructive, offputting and actually pretty cruel.

The only negative posts from me are regarding that thread, if you read my posts I always only ever contribute to a thread in order to actually try and help the poster. If i think the poster is a nut job or i might be deluded, I don't waste the limited hours of my life responding to them. If i feel like they need a harsh truth, I may give it gently. But they are making a post on the internet asking for help and inviting comments. They are not inviting anyone to quote and paste their comments and problems on another thread.

I take the time to comment on your little thread joke, because I genuinely view this as internet bullying and the same as if I saw someone hitting the fat kid in the hallway at school I'd not walk past with my mouth shut because decent people don't do that. I hope one day you guys hang up that thread because a lot of you seem like nice people who have some good stuff to say - but seriously - there ain't nothing funny about posting other people's pain for laughs dude.
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Cancan
@Cancan26
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 605 · Posts: 5516 · Topics: 158
Posted by MondayMorning
@Cancan26 you guys quoted me personally twice on that thread, and I assure you, I wanted help and was not arguing or bashing anyone. I also left my cancer male and still got quoted on the thread. None of you contributed in any way to my threads...you just copied and pasted me and made a joke out of my (very painful) break up with someone I actually loved.

You don't discriminate at all...you just post up everyone who is having a problem with a cancer male -irrespective of how genuine their request for help is. you guys seem to be good at dishing it out but less good at taking on board constructive criticism from your fellow board members who find your behavior destructive, offputting and actually pretty cruel.

The only negative posts from me are regarding that thread, if you read my posts I always only ever contribute to a thread in order to actually try and help the poster. If i think the poster is a nut job or i might be deluded, I don't waste the limited hours of my life responding to them. If i feel like they need a harsh truth, I may give it gently. But they are making a post on the internet asking for help and inviting comments. They are not inviting anyone to quote and paste their comments and problems on another thread.

I take the time to comment on your little thread joke, because I genuinely view this as internet bullying and the same as if I saw someone hitting the fat kid in the hallway at school I'd not walk past with my mouth shut because decent people don't do that. I hope one day you guys hang up that thread because a lot of you seem like nice people who have some good stuff to say - but seriously - there ain't nothing funny about posting other people's pain for laughs dude.
why are cancer men so whiny

why are cancer men so weak

why are cancer men such losers

why are cancer men so sappy

why are cancer men so clingy

^^^^^^^^^^^^^

these are the type of dumb ass question we got on the cancer board ....READ THE THEIR POST IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME ...you are looking at this from your perspective ...and your experience me and the other cancer are talking about the MAJORITY of the posters on the cancer board ...then the same asshats would come back and say things like

why did my cancer man leave me?

why did my cancer man cheat on me?

why doesn't my cancer man do romantic things for me anymore

why doesn't my cancer man want to spend time with me?

*voice dripping with sarcasm* well....jeez...I can't think of any reason ...

and as far as me contributing to your post ...I didn't contribute to your post cause I thought you were being selfish ...I didn't wish to hurt your feelings ...so I didn't post anything at all ...you wanted your cancer man to give you transparency but you didn't want to do that yourself you expected him to read your mind ...that was my opinion..

you: my cancer man is hurting me ..I never where I stand or how he feels? he is selfish and immature!

cancers: did you tell him how you feel?

you: no! he should just know ...how I feel ...

cancers: ...but if you want him to be transparent so should you ....

you: yes but he...*blames cancer for something else*

cancers ...but if you just be honest with him like you are asking him to do with you....

you: I think its over ....

cancers: -_-

as far as your thread ending up in the cancer man left me thread ...it should have been there cause you didn't ask for help you came to complain ...-_- but you don't want to acknowledge your part in this story ...and I have nothing personal against you ... ..but this is me being as honest and gentle as I can be ...
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Cancan
@Cancan26
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 605 · Posts: 5516 · Topics: 158
Posted by AnOdeToNoOne
CanCan, play nice with her after her break-up with the person she loved.

For all the messed up shit Cancers put the rest of us through, you need to realize that some of us are not as bad as you think we are.

Now be nice!


😆 i'm trying to be nice ....and I know cancers are hard to understand ...but when it amazes me when people (not OP) talk shit and then they want help ...-_- this doesn't work for ANY SIGN ...
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MondayMorning
@MondayMorning
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 337 · Topics: 15
@Cancan26 I would have really appreciated your contribution to my thread, even if to tell me I was being selfish. I'd have benefited a lot more from that contribution than from someone posting it onto the "he left me" thread.

I did tell my cancer how i felt. I loved him very deeply. He wasn't open to that/

I have nothing against you personally either, just against that thread. But I do think that people complain about every type of guy on this forum. Sorry if Cancers get a hard time - but they are pretty tricky to understand.

All this indirect communication is quite hard to decipher.
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Cancan
@Cancan26
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 605 · Posts: 5516 · Topics: 158
Posted by MondayMorning
@Cancan26 I would have really appreciated your contribution to my thread, even if to tell me I was being selfish. I'd have benefited a lot more from that contribution than from someone posting it onto the "he left me" thread.

I did tell my cancer how i felt. I loved him very deeply. He wasn't open to that/

I have nothing against you personally either, just against that thread. But I do think that people complain about every type of guy on this forum. Sorry if Cancers get a hard time - but they are pretty tricky to understand.

All this indirect communication is quite hard to decipher.
we are hard to understand ...I'm sorry you had a hard time ...and even more sorry your cancer wasn't respective when you were vulnerable...I was frustrated with the other type of posters when your thread came up and I didn't want to take those frustrations out on you...as far as the he left me thread...I didn't put your post in that thread ....I never put anyone's post in there ...and maybe other cancers should save it for the MOST UNRULY posters ....I hope we are still cool ...😄
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MondayMorning
@MondayMorning
10 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 337 · Topics: 15
Posted by Cancan26
Posted by MondayMorning
@Cancan26 I would have really appreciated your contribution to my thread, even if to tell me I was being selfish. I'd have benefited a lot more from that contribution than from someone posting it onto the "he left me" thread.

I did tell my cancer how i felt. I loved him very deeply. He wasn't open to that/

I have nothing against you personally either, just against that thread. But I do think that people complain about every type of guy on this forum. Sorry if Cancers get a hard time - but they are pretty tricky to understand.

All this indirect communication is quite hard to decipher.
we are hard to understand ...I'm sorry you had a hard time ...and even more sorry your cancer wasn't respective when you were vulnerable...I was frustrated with the other type of posters when your thread came up and I didn't want to take those frustrations out on you...as far as the he left me thread...I didn't put your post in that thread ....I never put anyone's post in there ...and maybe other cancers should save it for the MOST UNRULY posters ....I hope we are still cool ...😄
click to expand

Thank you. I really appreciate that and yes - we are cool 🙂

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libralotus
@libralotus
9 Years1,000+ Posts

Comments: 6 · Posts: 1249 · Topics: 93
Posted by notsosure
Posted by libralotus
Posted by dolluxe
Posted by libralotus
Posted by dolluxe
He'll get you knocked up. At least that was the case for me.
Omg my ex cancer wouldn't pull out all of a sudden and I was like dude! Wtf?! He said "if it happens it happens" and was all mushy about it......... no fam. LITERALLY.
Yup cancers love them creampies

Creampie Cancer. This is a fact.


That´s not really a cancer thing, that´s just plain 100 % being disrespectful. If a guy ever did that to me, I would concider it some form of rape. No means no. Doesn´t matter if he´s a boyfriend, FWB or nothing. The fact that it is dowplayed as them wanting to get closer to you or keep you around is not a real way of dealing with what is actually going on. It´s not cute, mushy or "family oriented", it´s nothing but selfish and no man should get away with doing this, when the girl says no. Guys doing this are not mature enough to have sex with a real human, they should just get a flashlight or a blow up doll.
click to expand


I was being sarcastic. Of course it's not a cancer thing. It is very disrespectful now that I'm past it and can see without rose colored glasses.

I don't think he was trying to trap me. I honestly think he shoots blanks or he wouldn't be so laissez-faire about it. I was so damn smitten at the time I couldn't see that I was being manipulated.

He would come and go but the last time he was for certain wanting to work on things while I was more hesitant. We got into an argument and he had a girlfriend a week later. I think he wanted one last run.

Anyways, I saw a red flag because he got out of a relationship with a girl he lived with a month before we dated. After the third month he wanted to move in together and what I see on Facebook is that he's planning to with the new girl (who tried to befriend me..awks??). That's three girls in one year!

Whatever. The other cancers I know don't rush things like that. They're family oriented, I know. He's probably one of those emotionally unstable guys that has insecurities. I'm over it now. It still sucks but I'm no longer sulking about it.



Profile picture of CancerOnTheCusp
GFY
@CancerOnTheCusp
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 433 · Posts: 8306 · Topics: 311
Posted by Cancan26
Posted by AnOdeToNoOne
CanCan, play nice with her after her break-up with the person she loved.

For all the messed up shit Cancers put the rest of us through, you need to realize that some of us are not as bad as you think we are.

Now be nice!


😆 i'm trying to be nice ....and I know cancers are hard to understand ...but when it amazes me when people (not OP) talk shit and then they want help ...-_- this doesn't work for ANY SIGN ...
click to expand

The one you are responding to should talk.

He has a past history of white knighting on the posts that tend to end up in the "Cancer man left me" thread, using it as an opportunity to bash Cancer males (and Cancer females who disagree with him/refuse his advances via PM).

Trust me, his post was not done out of altruism.

Profile picture of CancerOnTheCusp
GFY
@CancerOnTheCusp
12 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 433 · Posts: 8306 · Topics: 311
Posted by MondayMorning
Posted by CancerOnTheCusp
Posted by rabidtalker
OP, You'll get the same people posting on here how they were screwed over by cancer males in every new cancer male post. Sometimes there will be new made up account names, but the vehemence is the same.


The "Cancer man left me" thread cut that back some.

Some of the "new" accounts were pretty suspect to be sure.
I agree with @rabidtalker that maybe people who are happy and secure and not confused won't ask strangers for help. I think if someone is obviously NOT happy and NOT secure that it's not amusing to have threads like "cancer man left me". I have said it multiple times before, but it's not really funny - an d if that is actually true and it discourages people from posting and asking for help then that is kind of tragic actually.

Who said anything about it being something funny?



This thread is a good example of what I see going kind of downhill sadly. When I joined this site I found a bunch of really helpful and relevant threads from a few years back where people had written the most insightful and helpful stuff.

Nowadays, for the most part, it's dumb off the cuff comments, in jokes, trying to embarrass or belittle the poster, memes and just generally like being on the back seat of the bus in kindergarten.
click to expand


Did you take note of who started the downhill slide? It wasn't crabs commenting. In fact, one of them is a person (non-crab) who was posting under a different handle in the manner Can Can mentioned in this thread, and while the comments in this thread aren't as vicious, they're still demeaning.

Now, when you posted on the "Cancer man left me" thread, you lectured. In fact, you are still lecturing.

If your post was genuine and got "caught in the crossfire", for that I sympathize, but you have to admit that turning around and castigating because it wound up there did give the appearance that putting it there was justified.

As far as a "safe haven", this is a lightly (UN) moderated forum, and thus subject to trolling, posters using multiple accounts (DXP used to post the IP addy of the post, and if privacy is concerned, at least monitor IP addys of multiple accounts and act accordingly).

Not all responses to queries will be negative, but you have to also be willing to temper your own responses.