Do Cancers Get the Baby Blues?

I've been involved with a cancer guy for about 8/9 months now and we started out as just friends. After a couple months he started dwelling on wanting a family; a wife, children, the whole 9. It seems like he's really just looking to cut the dating games and find someone to settle down with...but is this really a Cancerian endeavor? He's expressed his desire to have children in more ways than one so I think he's pretty serious. I trust him because he's very accountable and open with me. I guess I'm more worried about him being serious because I could see our relationship going in that direction and I want a way to ease myself away from having to deal with it. I don't want to sit and weigh his words if I shouldnt take them seriously.

oh I have just.the thing for U? TEXT me

*trying not to laugh* but SL I dont have your number

lol this is a real post tho, give me some good advice SoNot so I can hide it before she comes and tries to force feed me her generic advice to play games with him and stop talking

damn, i was really trying to find what newbie had said that. that was hysterical when i read it and when SoNot brought it up, I was dying

yeah i saw it, it might have been llt or Rainfairy

hmmm.... seriously - yes, this is what cancer men want. To get married, settle down and have a family. If it's not what you want maybe you SHOULD cut out now - but I would seriously think about before making any drastic moves. If you decide later you want another chance you might not get one. Try asking him to slow down a little....don't make it sound like he's pushing too fast, just let him know that you move SSSSUUUUUPPPPEEEERRR slow...that's something a cancer can understand

Thank you. Its not that I wouldnt mind it, I just want it to happen in a certain order and after more time. I think he's dwelling on it more so now than before because he just had a birthday and everyone around him is settling down, but we have also gotten a lot closer so he might think its time to unveil his master plan lol. I definitely plan on appealing to him to slow down and try to put everything in perspective with preparedness and practicality.

"Thank you. Its not that I wouldnt mind it, I just want it to happen in a certain order and after more time. I think he's dwelling on it more so now than before because he just had a birthday and everyone around him is settling down"

so put it ot him like that

I did, but he switched into this mode he has where he acts like he doesnt hear me and he just goes on with his train of thought like I was just joking when I interjected. I wanted to know whether I should take him seriously before I look him eye to eye and put that tone in my voice that lets him know to take heed.

I would take him seriously, but maybe try to find a medium between what you've tried and "that" tone first

it depends on the convo and context. If we're on the phone he's more joking or matter of fact, but when we're face to face and he's in a more serious mood it like he's really pouring out his heart...he talks about his family and his parents and how hes 27 with no kids and then he gets to looking at me like if he could he would think his child into me, but says stuff like " I know the time isnt right, I wouldnt do that to you now, we all have things to do right now". He's very intense and it seems this is something that he thinks about a lot...I know Cancers have the tendency to think with their emotions and I kinda think that's what's happening here and I dont want to be insensitive to his emotions if he might be serious. I think that if I ask him if he's serious he'll already feel rejected.

My cancer always gets the Baby blues. i think its just that when they find someone that thay really like they dont want to lose them and or get hurt.

yes cancers desire a big family. but also be careful not to let him trick you.. maybe he wants to tie you down with him. he will be hurt if you dont follow his dreams. the best thing to do is is just say if it happens it happens if not then im sure it will someday. he will be impatient but ask yourself if you could see yourself with him until the day you die becuase thats what hes aiming for.

I wouldnt mind if our relationship is going in that direction but only after more time and knowing one another. I've been greatly impressed with him since I met him, but I wouldn't say that I know his habits and tendencies enough to say I want to be stuck with him forever.

well its your life and YOU call the shots. im sure you love him more than the world (i love cancer men) but you may live a controlled life as well as your future children. dont get me wrong tho he will more than likely be an excellent father (altho alot of teens resent there cancer parents bc they are so worried about them all the time). this is what i think you should say to him "Honey, i want to have a family too but first we need to sit down and make some goals and once we have everything accomplished then we can start trying." im talking about life long goals like careers or cars or a house and things like that. what is your sign?

I'm a taurus and that seems like a good practical plan of action.

I think my cancer would make a good parent. He's good to his dogs. lol He spoils them and takes very good care of them.

lol Im actually a little worried I might be too protective or strict with my children. I will make sure they're well rounded and well exposed but...*sigh* the world is so big and wide, how will my babies ever find their way.

yeah i saw it, it might have been llt or Rainfairy

no sweetestfatale it was not me.

SF, i think thats a good sign that he really trusts u and ur opinion.

Merc I get that experience with my niece and nephew but they arent around ALL the time (just often) so ..I dunno.

Hay LLT, welcome back. Yeah we found it, it was RainFairy but that whole topic is dead now. I hope it is a sign he trusts me and my opinion because I'm offering him both. I think sometimes both of us deal with trust issues which is why at some times we take things very slowly and in other we move right ahead. Its like a dance, but its comfortable and I dont think anyone's toes are getting stepped on.

Hey LLT welcome back to the boards! Are you doing OK?

SF, I know Cancer men make great dads! They love their children to death. They put no on before their children, you will be second in line. Generally I am speaking, but no directly at you.

And I meant NO ONE!

hey krobe lol im doing great thanks.
SF... i kno what u mean by the dance, lol its true... me n my cnacer firned i believe have major trust issues with eahcother, mostly becuase we both go back and forth on our word all the time. weird thing si, im afarid to ask him quetsions about his feelings, i feel that i ahve asked the same ones over and over agian, but i never relaly get a straight answer, or i get one that doenst make sense, and then im too embaressed to ask a follow up question.
SF... he definately trusts u. ur so lucky to have a cnacer man by ur side.

I'm lucky to have him by my side because he does a wonderful job of taking care of me while he's there!

We both keep our word, as we certainly want to show the other that we are trustworthy and loyal...I think this dance is centered around our own insecurities. Which we'll definitely have to work on to make the most of this. Insecurity DOES effect your ability to trust others because you cant trust their intentions if you dont think you're worthy of those intentions.

My Cancer is gorgeous and outgoing, he seems to fit in with any crowd and lives a very exciting life. He was the star football player when he was in high school then went off to a big state university, he had throngs to say the least and he still does because he works in 3 clubs every weekend. I thought he would be more with someone like...Beyonce! I was popular in high school but thats because I was in so many clubs and I had so many friends of different backgrounds, but I was kinda still the loner, I went to UNC but I was still generally a loner. I never go to clubs or parties really, just small friendly get togethers and cookouts. Looking at him I NEVER thought he would go for someone like me and I dont know what made me approach him...I guess that I was genuinely attracted to him. I think he likes me because I am so "slow". Im calm enough to slow him down and keep him doing right and I'd make a good wife, Im respectable, honest, God-fearing, and smart. And we've discussed it, but sometimes it creeps into my head that maybe he might still want a party and a beautiful wild thang to enjoy it with...and Im sure it creeps into his head that I might want that country preacher that my parents would love. So the dance continues.

"I was popular in high school but thats because I was in so many clubs and I had so many friends of different backgrounds, but I was kinda still the loner,"

I was like that too.

and I never approached my friend's brother because I thought the same thing about him and the party girls - and a few people have told me he probably thinks the same about me and wanting someone who's a little les.....tarnished.....

Angel if he ever gets in the mood to look for someone who can polish him right back up and hold him down I know you're first on the list. And he might see you as too pure, too good, too sane for him....I hope he figures out that sometimes opposites balance one another.

LMAO - .......ah if only....

you never know....

gotta love the positive attitude.......don't necessarily need to "hear what I want" but it's nice soemtimes to know I'm not completely insane when I think "you never know......"

i wanna get "polished".........

you're bad enough to need polishing

very bad......🙂

I don't believe a word of it :0p

then id be lieing to u....in fact making me ......bad.

naw......more like "awww...how cute....CJ'S trying to pretend he's a bad boy...."

*sigh*

sorry CJ I just don't think you have it in you.....

lol cj I purposefully avoided using the word "polished" in my reply to Angels tarnished reference for that VERY reason...bad boys always find that connotation...lol I can tell you and my Cancer have more than just lovely pecs and biceps in common.

but Sweet you ARE the one who said polished

and I was thinking more along the lines of "tarnished halo"

"he's an angel with no halo, and one wing in the fire...."

lol I knew I thought about it and considered avoiding using it, guess I didn't get that far...if my mind seems a little gone on the boards gimmie a week and I might have a valid reason.

Moon I can't speak for anyone else, but I know there are some areas in me that I desire to be polished. Impatience, dogmaticism, insensitivity, some of my fears and phobias and even physically. I dont think polishing up is a bad thing, that's just taking the dull spots and making them shine. I do think remodeling and resurfacing are bad things....take it for what it/she/he is and let it/her/him be itself.

I'm cool with cancer being tarnished....I just don't think HE realizes that