ignoring friends when in a relationship

So my bestfriend/roommate has this new bf. They're in love and very happy and they spend almost all of their time together. Mind you they also work together.She's a cancer and he's a gemini, they don't really go out they just either stay at our apartment, drink and watch tv or go to his place to do what i'm assuming is the same thing. Anyway, me and her used to hang out all the time and even when i was in a relationship I definitely made time to do my own thing and hang out with friends and she did the same in her last relationship. But ever since she started dating this gemini (they got together back in Sept.) it's like I've lost my bestfriend. Neither of them hang out with their own friends and even if they're hanging out in the living room and I'm there, they're so sucked in their own little bubble that I might as well not be there. Now, I'm really happy that she's happy and all but it's like her whole life consists of just him. I'm starting to get to a point where I just don't really even care to be her friend and I don't really like that. Anyway, do any of you have experiences like this? Where a friend just disappears into a relationship?

Couple of times! LOL! I usually end up talking to them less often and becomes an "associate". Then i just stop talking to them period, a real friend makes time for everyone in their life because i have when i was in a relationship.

Posted by The-Dream
Couple of times! LOL! I usually end up talking to them less often and becomes an "associate". Then i just stop talking to them period, a real friend makes time for everyone in their life because i have when i was in a relationship.

i totally understand your point and that this is a frustrating situation a lot of people encounter, but i dont understand why a real friend would just drop you over something like this. i think everyone sees their friends less frequently when they are in a relationship so even though the phone calls and the meetups may become less frequent i dont believe that makes you any less of a friend. i would be SO crushed if somebody dropped me like that and id want to know how they felt before it got to that point, not attacked or punished but told that they are hurt that we aren't spending as much time together. what i value most about my closest friendships is that even though we live far and don't talk or see each other as often as we would like, the times we do we are always able to pick up where we left off and nobody ever needs to apologize.

when my friends have boyfriends i make myself fit in and invite myself over when i want to hang out lol. i think most couples like having another person hang out with them but they dont always ask because they assume the other person would feel like a 3rd wheel. luckily im shameless like that 😄

well see that's the thing, I've tried to hang out with them when they're at the house but it's like i'm interrupting. So it's gotten to the point where I don't try. The other part is that it's not that it's just me she's stopped hanging out with since she's been with this guy. She's stopped hanging out with everyone and ONLY hangs out with him. I've mentioned to her a few times that me and her should hang out sometime and she always agrees but nothing ever comes of it.

oh and Dream, I think that's essentially what's going to happen between me and her. The only time she's even called me (again we live together) was when she went through his phone and found texts from girls he used to hook up with and she wanted my advice.

wow that infatuationish zone is lasting a long time!!!! I mean, fresh new couples, excited and happy to be in love i can understand and accept it for a period of time. that's what friends do, they accept it and keep moving. But for almost 5 months of ingnoring your friend, that you live with, would really hurt. All of my friends live far away, and we don't talk often, but like I love Ewe, when we do, we all understand. I think because you live with her and it's in your face, it's more extreme. Have you talked to her seriously about it? Maybe be more direct, that might wake her up. I know i need that once in a while.

My best friend does this every time she starts a new relationship. I've seen her twice in the last 6 months. The most contact we have now is over e-mail. I confronted her about it several times...we yell and then cry and decide to make it work again cause we love each other so much. But, problem now is I HATE her virgo man. She's a libra. They are prego and now getting married (been together since March!).
I've bitched about my predicament before on here and I usually get the same answer...if you really love her than you will love her choosing men over you (basically) Just deal with it...! I think it's bullshit...
So, I keep my distance and she comes to me to talk. I would talk to her about it and see if you can get through. If not, just leave it be for a while. She will be back when/if it fails!

look, this is what is referred to as "the honeymoon period". it is extremely common in the first few months of a new relationship for them to be spending ungodly amounts of time with each other. unfortunately they will stray from their friends for a little while but it usually passes. my best friend will do it as well. he doesn't often end up in relationships but when he does... yikes! it sucks but just try to be patient with them, communicate ur desire to have some time with them sans partner, and find other ways to make use of ur time to keep u busy.

Posted by ramfishtwins
My best friend does this every time she starts a new relationship. I've seen her twice in the last 6 months. The most contact we have now is over e-mail. I confronted her about it several times...we yell and then cry and decide to make it work again cause we love each other so much. But, problem now is I HATE her virgo man. She's a libra. They are prego and now getting married (been together since March!).
I've bitched about my predicament before on here and I usually get the same answer...if you really love her than you will love her choosing men over you (basically) Just deal with it...! I think it's bullshit...
So, I keep my distance and she comes to me to talk. I would talk to her about it and see if you can get through. If not, just leave it be for a while. She will be back when/if it fails!

I have no idea how you deal with that! I'm definitely going to talk to her about it but, honestly if nothing really changes then I'd rather not be friends. I totally understand wanting being in the honeymoon phase but it's been 4 months and it hasn't let up. I'll definitely talk to her about it but I don't foresee any change. And Ram, if I were you I'd just distance myself from her, it's not worth having to deal with all the negative feelings, considering you've already confronted her about it.

Oh, I have! She's the one who contacts me. If I put myself out there and I'm not getting much back, I will NOT contact you...just the stuburn Ram I am...I guess!
I cried about it a lot at first. We went from everyday contact to NOTHING. We've been friends for almost 10 years now and I love her more than anything...that's why it hurts so much. I liked her ex-hubby, but cannot stand this new man. He's the most loud-mouth obnoxious Virgo ever. We end up getting in really bad arguments when we are around each other. If my husband ever treated or spoke to her like Virgo man does to me, that would be the end of it. But, she being a Libra is all about love, love, love. We shall see what happens with them, but in the meantime, I've said my peace (several times) and kept my distance. That's all you can do...it's up to you if you want to accept her back when she finally returns.
I understand the "honeymoon stage". But, I don't know about you, ever time I've entered it, I end up regreting putting all I have into a man and forgetting my friends. Where would we be without our good girlfriends?