Not giving Cancer man usual attention

How do Cancer men deal with not getting the usual attention he's use to getting? If they retreat and u stop giving attention will they come back?

So use to texting him every night it was hard not doing it last night. Haven't done it today either. I think it has not gone unnoticed either. But I guess we shall see.

Hell! He text me first yesterday! So is it rude to ignore it or not? I answered but not sure if i should next time?? Why does he confuse me so bad??

I would reply, but just not instantly. Give it a 1/2 or hour etc. dependent on what it's about. Not if it's concerning set plans though.

One thing I tend to do is mirror someone. So if you take forever to answer me, and it becomes a pattern, I'll then take forever to answer you back.

And sometimes I won't. Whether it's to gauge someone, sometimes it's a "whats good for the goose is good for the gander", sometimes out of hurt or anger, or just plain "F You". And yes, I've done it to test someone. :/

Posted by OceanDeep
Not if it's concerning set plans though.

Clarification: I wouldn't wait around, I'd respond more quickly so not to be rude or screw up the plans 🙂

Posted by OceanDeep
And yes, I've done it to test someone. :/

Curious... how do you test someone like this? What is your thought process like?

Do you mean you take your time responding, to see what their reaction/action is on that?

@ deezie

Hmmmmm *trying to get into mind set of testing*

I guess take for instance if I think someone's playing me, using me, etc. I won't answer, and see if they try to contact me again. With that is testing to see how long it takes them to respond again, what their contact will be like, if they ask again for something, etc. If their response is short, etc. Gauging to see if they follow through, hold true to what they say, take genuine interest i.e. asking if I'm okay, etc., etc.

Generally though, I have a good sense of if I will or not, or how I'm anticipating it to be like. So if I'm in testing mode, I more than likely already have my answers I just need to seal the thought.

Does that explain it okay?

Posted by OceanDeep

And sometimes I won't. Whether it's to gauge someone, sometimes it's a "whats good for the goose is good for the gander", sometimes out of hurt or anger, or just plain "F You". And yes, I've done it to test someone. :/

could be anyone of the above, so get used to confusion. the truth is you'll just never know..

@deezie - When I test someone with texting, yes I want to see how they will react by me not giving them what they want. You've text me, you want a response. I may not give you a response because even if I'm not feeling one of the many reasons listed by OD above... if I AM having a 'hurt' day and don't respond to you (because honestly on a hurt day I couldn't respond if i tried my hardest) I want to know if you are going to freak out on me. Or try and punish me..

There is no right or wrong answer to this either... it's a test of character. If you freak out on me, but I really love you... I'll probably alter my future behaviour by giving you a subtle heads up if I'm going to disappear for awhile. It will never be direct.. always subtle..

Or, if my feelings are not yet developed, I may just observe and try to determine if this is something I can or want to deal with... But I'll always be looking for a genuine response.

I can not do this with any water sign male however.. they are ALL hypocrites in this area. They will justify ignoring you, but if you ignore them, they FREAK!

Ok, here's the the thing... Since we started talking there hasn't been a day that we haven't talked or text each other. By not texting him and making that first initial contact of the day do you think he will notice? If he needs space and time to figure out what he wants I want to give him that time and space. But if we go a few days or longer without talking or texting do you think he will notice I have backed off? Because as of right now he gets the usual attention he's use to maybe I just need to take that away and see if that bothers him. Maybe miss that a little and miss me

So would you say that Cancer men have a tendency to go back and forth? One day they think they dont want you and then they might change their minds again and want you again?

OD and shellshocker - thanks for explaining! I'm always curious as to the tests people talk about with cancers and scorps. Being a pisces, I'm not sure we have that testing mentality. Maybe pisces do, but I personally don't. I'm so juvenile when it comes to relating... it's more of a if you want to see my cards, all you need to do is ask, kind of thing with me. So I appreciate your insight!

And I totally understand the usefulness of the testing - self protection wise. I'm actually kind of jealous in that regard that my brain/heart doesn't operate this way!

Honestly it doesn't have to be everyday, but every cancer has a timeframe of when they start feeling unappreciated, once you cross that line they will let you have it, but usually be sorry for offending you later on that they will blame everything on themselves.

Cancer man needs just one day a week where he can just be left alone and one day a week where he can be given supreme attention and affection, the other 5 days can be hit or miss and not a huge deal.

Posted by HighTide
Honestly it doesn't have to be everyday, but every cancer has a timeframe of when they start feeling unappreciated, once you cross that line they will let you have it, but usually be sorry for offending you later on that they will blame everything on themselves.

Cancer man needs just one day a week where he can just be left alone and one day a week where he can be given supreme attention and affection, the other 5 days can be hit or miss and not a huge deal.

Funny you mention this now because my bf and I talked about this the other day. He was complaining that I wasn't giving him enough attention. I told him that I almost always want to give him attention but the problem is that I rarely know when he's in the mood for it and when he's not. It really is hit or miss. I told him I need a sign - some sort of green light - because when he does want to be left alone, he doesn't necessarily respond tactfully or kindly to my overtures.

So I finally get the chance to try this out. No texting last night haven't text him today. The other day when I tried this he text me something random at 1:45— So gonna stick it and try for the whole weekend.

@Libra

I really enjoy my Libra friends but they have a tendency to want me to entertain them or give heavy doses or conversation when I am really zapped out and have nothing to offer intellectually stimulating. I really feel like not having good entertainment and a humor package sort of offends the social Libra to some degree level, so sometimes I like to lay low and recharge my batteries so to speak. It hard for them to take the hint and I don't want to offend them as its really doing them a favor from getting frustrated and bored. They are good at sparking conversation with the whole zodiac so sometimes I wish they would let someone else entertain them so to speak because I am all out of material for the moment. A weeks time usually is enough.

@Aries

I have a Aries woman chasing after me right now and I am amazed at the courage she has to make someone feel special. I just know Aries don't like to be tied down at all times, especially emotionally. So make a day out of the week where you appease your sign and do something free spirited and let that day be his day to just be alone. Make the next day about you two and I am sure things will improve overall. We like to make a Aries woman feel very feminine, but they also very flighty sometimes and like new things, we like security at the house and some days the Aries just want to be out doing something because they get bored of the predictable after a while. If you frame it in such a way where its cost effective and doesn't put him in a situation where he could get uncomfortable or feel less manly, it could be alot of fun and bring you two closer together.Cancer men just know social activities cost alot of money in order to have a good time, so as long as you make him feel your looking out for his wallet, he will usually end up spending more because you understood money is hard to get.

Posted by HighTide

@Aries

I have a Aries woman chasing after me right now and I am amazed at the courage she has to make someone feel special. I just know Aries don't like to be tied down at all times, especially emotionally. So make a day out of the week where you appease your sign and do something free spirited and let that day be his day to just be alone. Make the next day about you two and I am sure things will improve overall. We like to make a Aries woman feel very feminine, but they also very flighty sometimes and like new things, we like security at the house and some days the Aries just want to be out doing something because they get bored of the predictable after a while. If you frame it in such a way where its cost effective and doesn't put him in a situation where he could get uncomfortable or feel less manly, it could be alot of fun and bring you two closer together.Cancer men just know social activities cost alot of money in order to have a good time, so as long as you make him feel your looking out for his wallet, he will usually end up spending more because you understood money is hard to get.

What do you mean when you say she has courage to make someone feel special? I like to make people I care about feel special, but I never saw it as courageous.

Anyway...luckily, we're both the type who need a lot of space. We only see each other twice a week - one weeknight and one day of the weekend. We're also both homebodies who don't like to spend a lot of money 🙂 We usually stay in and watch movies, play video games, talk, cook, etc. But it's true - I do sometimes get antsy and try to talk him into at least going for a walk if the weather isn't too bad.

In terms of attention though, I'm talking more about initiating contact with him or showing affection when we're together. This is where it's hit or miss.

You having the courage to tell the Cancer Man you like him is a high compliment. We hate rejection and we prefer the woman to be aggressive on the front end then we like to take control. Aries woman are basically good at showing their interested in us. We just sometimes feel that you like us more on certain days than others which makes us feel you don't like us 100 percent all the way.

In terms to doing things. A Cancer Man hates being on a schedule unless its for work or school, as he deems those things as needed in order to maintain security longterm.

When it comes to "hanging out" we feel like that can always wait. If you say "Lets hang out Thursday" and its Monday is causes fear in Cancer as they don't know what their mental state will be by then and they know letting you down or putting it off further will piss you off or that if they go, they are going to be in a weird mood and that you will pick up on it,hence ruining your time as well.

Also events that occur at night are better for us as we are more comfortable as we usually hate extremely sunny or hot weather unless its by the Beach. Also the night give us the opportunity for us to let sex happen more naturally. We like to go out and do things in the late afternoon then come home and make love to you. In the middle of the day its usually more difficult as women usually feel like "it can wait". Not to say women sometimes don't engaged in Nooners, but that is less consistent than sex at night is to us. In the middle of the day your still wanting to do other things before getting in the bed, at night your more willing to just let it all hang out.

Posted by HighTide
You having the courage to tell the Cancer Man you like him is a high compliment. We hate rejection and we prefer the woman to be aggressive on the front end then we like to take control. Aries woman are basically good at showing their interested in us. We just sometimes feel that you like us more on certain days than others which makes us feel you don't like us 100 percent all the way.

Ahh...Now I understand.

In terms to doing things. A Cancer Man hates being on a schedule unless its for work or school, as he deems those things as needed in order to maintain security longterm.

When it comes to "hanging out" we feel like that can always wait. If you say "Lets hang out Thursday" and its Monday is causes fear in Cancer as they don't know what their mental state will be by then and they know letting you down or putting it off further will piss you off or that if they go, they are going to be in a weird mood and that you will pick up on it,hence ruining your time as well.

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Would this explain why he sometimes says he'll call me later and then doesn't - because his mood changed? Today for example, I called in the early afternoon and we made plans to see a movie either late afternoon or early evening. He said he'd call later but so far he hasn't - and now it's too late to go to either of the shows we considered. He's done this before. I always end up calling him but it drives me nuts that he seems to take for granted that I will always come after him.

Basically he knew it was something that could wait and didn't want you to push the issue, if you were at the hospital with a relative and wanted him to come up he most likely would be there to give you support as that would be important.

Just certain events can wait in our mind and while we like planning in our lives, social events usually aren't our greatest priorities to begin with unless its a special occasion.

Posted by HighTide
Basically he knew it was something that could wait and didn't want you to push the issue, if you were at the hospital with a relative and wanted him to come up he most likely would be there to give you support as that would be important.

Just certain events can wait in our mind and while we like planning in our lives, social events usually aren't our greatest priorities to begin with unless its a special occasion.

Would it be fair to say that Cancers can be a little self-centred? Because that's how it's beginning to appear to me. I'm not saying that they're not caring or that they're mean-spirited. And it's not my intention to bash Cancers. It's just that they seem to have a tendency to get caught up in their own moods, feelings and needs more often than others.

Well if someone who used to give me alot of attention, then stop it, I would get worried. If i love them, i do best to wait 1 day to see if they call. I see it like this, if you need space, that's fine. But don't lead me on, making think you ok with us, when i can tell your not interested. Me, i don't ask to see the person im with everyday. I know people have to work/ be with family. But if you can't call me for at least 15 mins to tell me how you doing, & to see if im ok, then why should i need you. But i get worried & sad if i don't get a phone call or see even see you. I have a scorpio-moon, so i desire security.