Posted by taurusgirl9000
He texted me asking to hang out this weekend (aka have sex), like he always does. At first I considered just telling him I had other plans, but then I thought it was better to be honest. I just couldn't do the glorified friends with benefits thing anymore, I got emotionally attached >.
Posted by taurusgirl9000
He texted me asking to hang out this weekend (aka have sex), like he always does. At first I considered just telling him I had other plans, but then I thought it was better to be honest. I just couldn't do the glorified friends with benefits thing anymore, I got emotionally attached >.
Posted by MoonyEYES88Sorry to hear you're in the same situation... Yeah... I mean I know he cares about me, and when we have sex it's like there's soooo much love there. I feel like he's in love with me and he acts like my bf, there's just something about the title of boyfriend that he doesn't want. I guess I just don't understand how he could experience what I am and not feel the same. I read between the lines and thought okay you don't want a relationship with ME, probably... If it's right, it's right, so what's this about needing to think it over? Maybe I just don't understand him... Maybe I love too hard..
hey ive totally been there and the heartache is real...im actually in that situation now, i too ended it. he said he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship right now. i read between the lines which is he does not want the responsibility of one and the possibility of being hurt if things dont work out, i get it but i too had to end it.
sex without feelings is pointless to me. whats been most helpful is the support of one trusted friend and complete no contact with the guy. weve bumped into one another at the gym and hes tries to lure me back into the FWB trap, although ive denied him it still hurts to see him so ive made the effort to not go to the gym around the times he does. no contact is gold.
Posted by taurusgirl9000as a cancer woman I can say that I love a taurus' love...one of my best friends was taurus, and one of my clients that is a cancer male still talks about the taurus that got away, because he let her because hes stupid. If his reasoning is that he needs time I would give him time because cancer men take forever and if theyre anything like capricorns....lord buy some rejuvenating face cream too. i still think you should follow no contact and do you until he reaches out and wants to talk adult....why do you think your love is too hard?Posted by MoonyEYES88Sorry to hear you're in the same situation... Yeah... I mean I know he cares about me, and when we have sex it's like there's soooo much love there. I feel like he's in love with me and he acts like my bf, there's just something about the title of boyfriend that he doesn't want. I guess I just don't understand how he could experience what I am and not feel the same. I read between the lines and thought okay you don't want a relationship with ME, probably... If it's right, it's right, so what's this about needing to think it over? Maybe I just don't understand him... Maybe I love too hard..
hey ive totally been there and the heartache is real...im actually in that situation now, i too ended it. he said he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship right now. i read between the lines which is he does not want the responsibility of one and the possibility of being hurt if things dont work out, i get it but i too had to end it.
sex without feelings is pointless to me. whats been most helpful is the support of one trusted friend and complete no contact with the guy. weve bumped into one another at the gym and hes tries to lure me back into the FWB trap, although ive denied him it still hurts to see him so ive made the effort to not go to the gym around the times he does. no contact is gold.click to expand
Posted by MoonyEYES88Because when I'm not in love or when there isn't someone that I'm dreaming of that I can tangibly get, I'm miserable. Love is the focal point of my life and I know right away when I start seeing someone whether or not they will be a long-term love. If they aren't going to be, I stop seeing them. This has never happened before, but when I first started hanging out with this Cancer as a friend (we've been friends for two years) I kept feeling like "this is my husband". I would just look at him and feel such a closeness and understanding. We just had that comfort level right away. I think it helps that we also both have Aqua moons. Back then I knew he had a crush on me and it seemed like he was just waiting until I was single again to make a move and get into a relationship with me...Posted by taurusgirl9000as a cancer woman I can say that I love a taurus' love...one of my best friends was taurus, and one of my clients that is a cancer male still talks about the taurus that got away, because he let her because hes stupid. If his reasoning is that he needs time I would give him time because cancer men take forever and if theyre anything like capricorns....lord buy some rejuvenating face cream too. i still think you should follow no contact and do you until he reaches out and wants to talk adult....why do you think your love is too hard?Posted by MoonyEYES88Sorry to hear you're in the same situation... Yeah... I mean I know he cares about me, and when we have sex it's like there's soooo much love there. I feel like he's in love with me and he acts like my bf, there's just something about the title of boyfriend that he doesn't want. I guess I just don't understand how he could experience what I am and not feel the same. I read between the lines and thought okay you don't want a relationship with ME, probably... If it's right, it's right, so what's this about needing to think it over? Maybe I just don't understand him... Maybe I love too hard..
hey ive totally been there and the heartache is real...im actually in that situation now, i too ended it. he said he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship right now. i read between the lines which is he does not want the responsibility of one and the possibility of being hurt if things dont work out, i get it but i too had to end it.
sex without feelings is pointless to me. whats been most helpful is the support of one trusted friend and complete no contact with the guy. weve bumped into one another at the gym and hes tries to lure me back into the FWB trap, although ive denied him it still hurts to see him so ive made the effort to not go to the gym around the times he does. no contact is gold.click to expand
Posted by taurusgirl9000lol he sounds like me....cancer sun aqua moon here. i think you pegged it -that something bad happened in the past, and ill bet he does miss you, but afraid of losing control over his emotions. he doesnt wanna get caught up in the pain that comes with love. im speaking about emotions because cancer people are highly emotional and do things based on that, where as you earth signs do things out of logic. they are 2 completely different animals. cancer people feel a lot but dont always say what theyre feelng, its uncomfortable to say it out loud. i think were similar to caps like that. thats where you come into play, you understand his feelings without forcing him to say them out loud. thats what i love about my taurus bff. she knows how i feel and subtely lets me know shes in tune with me.Posted by MoonyEYES88Because when I'm not in love or when there isn't someone that I'm dreaming of that I can tangibly get, I'm miserable. Love is the focal point of my life and I know right away when I start seeing someone whether or not they will be a long-term love. If they aren't going to be, I stop seeing them. This has never happened before, but when I first started hanging out with this Cancer as a friend (we've been friends for two years) I kept feeling like "this is my husband". I would just look at him and feel such a closeness and understanding. We just had that comfort level right away. I think it helps that we also both have Aqua moons. Back then I knew he had a crush on me and it seemed like he was just waiting until I was single again to make a move and get into a relationship with me...Posted by taurusgirl9000as a cancer woman I can say that I love a taurus' love...one of my best friends was taurus, and one of my clients that is a cancer male still talks about the taurus that got away, because he let her because hes stupid. If his reasoning is that he needs time I would give him time because cancer men take forever and if theyre anything like capricorns....lord buy some rejuvenating face cream too. i still think you should follow no contact and do you until he reaches out and wants to talk adult....why do you think your love is too hard?Posted by MoonyEYES88Sorry to hear you're in the same situation... Yeah... I mean I know he cares about me, and when we have sex it's like there's soooo much love there. I feel like he's in love with me and he acts like my bf, there's just something about the title of boyfriend that he doesn't want. I guess I just don't understand how he could experience what I am and not feel the same. I read between the lines and thought okay you don't want a relationship with ME, probably... If it's right, it's right, so what's this about needing to think it over? Maybe I just don't understand him... Maybe I love too hard..
hey ive totally been there and the heartache is real...im actually in that situation now, i too ended it. he said he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship right now. i read between the lines which is he does not want the responsibility of one and the possibility of being hurt if things dont work out, i get it but i too had to end it.
sex without feelings is pointless to me. whats been most helpful is the support of one trusted friend and complete no contact with the guy. weve bumped into one another at the gym and hes tries to lure me back into the FWB trap, although ive denied him it still hurts to see him so ive made the effort to not go to the gym around the times he does. no contact is gold.
But I guess I say "I love hard" because I am very expressive with my love and very serious with it. I need to express it with words and actions and I need the other person to give it back. I have a big, deep heart. With this guy, he was uncomfortable returning my words of affection I guess because he wasn't ready... He wouldn't even say "I miss you too" when I would text "I miss you" he just gave me a smiley face emoji. He always seemed to be holding back feelings. And I HATE that, it makes me feel like I have to hold back mine and I feel suffocated. I asked him if he always has a hard time expressing his feelings and he said no just in the beginning of a relationship... I guess his last gf messed him up pretty bad and was manipulative and it was toxic. He told me that before her he was very romantic and felt more free. So maybe this past damage is interfering with our potential relationship, I don't know...
We were dating for four months until now. I really didn't think that was "too fast" to start a commitment but for him I guess it was. I just know I need to be in love, and I need to be free in that love. In our situation I was starting to feel really bad, like taken for granted...click to expand
Posted by MoonyEYES88Thank you for your comments. I still think the love of my life was a Cap I was with for 8 years. We had to end it due to circumstance. It's still so painful for me to think about...Posted by taurusgirl9000lol he sounds like me....cancer sun aqua moon here. i think you pegged it -that something bad happened in the past, and ill bet he does miss you, but afraid of losing control over his emotions. he doesnt wanna get caught up in the pain that comes with love. im speaking about emotions because cancer people are highly emotional and do things based on that, where as you earth signs do things out of logic. they are 2 completely different animals. cancer people feel a lot but dont always say what theyre feelng, its uncomfortable to say it out loud. i think were similar to caps like that. thats where you come into play, you understand his feelings without forcing him to say them out loud. thats what i love about my taurus bff. she knows how i feel and subtely lets me know shes in tune with me.Posted by MoonyEYES88Because when I'm not in love or when there isn't someone that I'm dreaming of that I can tangibly get, I'm miserable. Love is the focal point of my life and I know right away when I start seeing someone whether or not they will be a long-term love. If they aren't going to be, I stop seeing them. This has never happened before, but when I first started hanging out with this Cancer as a friend (we've been friends for two years) I kept feeling like "this is my husband". I would just look at him and feel such a closeness and understanding. We just had that comfort level right away. I think it helps that we also both have Aqua moons. Back then I knew he had a crush on me and it seemed like he was just waiting until I was single again to make a move and get into a relationship with me...Posted by taurusgirl9000as a cancer woman I can say that I love a taurus' love...one of my best friends was taurus, and one of my clients that is a cancer male still talks about the taurus that got away, because he let her because hes stupid. If his reasoning is that he needs time I would give him time because cancer men take forever and if theyre anything like capricorns....lord buy some rejuvenating face cream too. i still think you should follow no contact and do you until he reaches out and wants to talk adult....why do you think your love is too hard?Posted by MoonyEYES88Sorry to hear you're in the same situation... Yeah... I mean I know he cares about me, and when we have sex it's like there's soooo much love there. I feel like he's in love with me and he acts like my bf, there's just something about the title of boyfriend that he doesn't want. I guess I just don't understand how he could experience what I am and not feel the same. I read between the lines and thought okay you don't want a relationship with ME, probably... If it's right, it's right, so what's this about needing to think it over? Maybe I just don't understand him... Maybe I love too hard..
hey ive totally been there and the heartache is real...im actually in that situation now, i too ended it. he said he doesnt think hes ready for a relationship right now. i read between the lines which is he does not want the responsibility of one and the possibility of being hurt if things dont work out, i get it but i too had to end it.
sex without feelings is pointless to me. whats been most helpful is the support of one trusted friend and complete no contact with the guy. weve bumped into one another at the gym and hes tries to lure me back into the FWB trap, although ive denied him it still hurts to see him so ive made the effort to not go to the gym around the times he does. no contact is gold.
But I guess I say "I love hard" because I am very expressive with my love and very serious with it. I need to express it with words and actions and I need the other person to give it back. I have a big, deep heart. With this guy, he was uncomfortable returning my words of affection I guess because he wasn't ready... He wouldn't even say "I miss you too" when I would text "I miss you" he just gave me a smiley face emoji. He always seemed to be holding back feelings. And I HATE that, it makes me feel like I have to hold back mine and I feel suffocated. I asked him if he always has a hard time expressing his feelings and he said no just in the beginning of a relationship... I guess his last gf messed him up pretty bad and was manipulative and it was toxic. He told me that before her he was very romantic and felt more free. So maybe this past damage is interfering with our potential relationship, I don't know...
We were dating for four months until now. I really didn't think that was "too fast" to start a commitment but for him I guess it was. I just know I need to be in love, and I need to be free in that love. In our situation I was starting to feel really bad, like taken for granted...
i understand you want the relationship though, i think in this case it might not be a bad idea to give him time, or try what landed me in a 6 years relationship...
i pushed my first cap away hard, one day he calmly asked me to go for a drive to get coffee he took me in his car, drove away and made me talk to him, he made me get deep. he was completely controlled in his temper while i wasnt and asked me questions, i told him all my concerns about relationships. i flipped out on him for doing this but by the end of the trip we were a couple and an hour later i got that coffee. that was the best relationship i ever had. he did good with handling my strong hidden emotions.
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Posted by Arielle83Were you the one who suggested it on the other thread? Can't remember who was talking about it, but I sure do need to read it. LolPosted by TaurusFlower22
Hugs to you. I know that feeling. I know that mixed signal thing that they do w/ the outpouring of love and affection while in their presence and while making love, but then the relationship part is a great big "idk" "eventually". I feel you. Good for you! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Also, I wish I had been less harsh (like you were) when ending things with my cancer guy. I wrote him a book...a non-sugarcoated text on why I would no longer be putting up with the gray area shit. It's been almost 2 weeks, and not a peep from him. My intention wasn't to hurt him, but to protect myself from further hurt. I'm pretty sure I crushed his shell though. I occasionally creep on his social media since he's deleted me...many things about "not being ok" and "no one ever teaches us how to unlove someone", etc. 😢
I've ordered a book that another poster suggested to someone called: Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. Hopefully the info in it will stop this gray area shit from happening again.
Good book
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Posted by TaurusFlower22I think I need to read this book. Thanks for suggesting it. Big hug to you... I will never feel bad for doing what I have to do to feel like I'm respecting myself, and getting respect from others in return. If they really want us and there is really a future, they will come back around someday. It's up to us to choose whether to go on with them or without them... xoxo Stay strong 🙂
Hugs to you. I know that feeling. I know that mixed signal thing that they do w/ the outpouring of love and affection while in their presence and while making love, but then the relationship part is a great big "idk" "eventually". I feel you. Good for you! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Also, I wish I had been less harsh (like you were) when ending things with my cancer guy. I wrote him a book...a non-sugarcoated text on why I would no longer be putting up with the gray area shit. It's been almost 2 weeks, and not a peep from him. My intention wasn't to hurt him, but to protect myself from further hurt. I'm pretty sure I crushed his shell though. I occasionally creep on his social media since he's deleted me...many things about "not being ok" and "no one ever teaches us how to unlove someone", etc. 😢
I've ordered a book that another poster suggested to someone called: Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood. Hopefully the info in it will stop this gray area shit from happening again.
Posted by ImagicationDamn...that was hella deep.Posted by taurusgirl9000You abandoned the relationship on the grounds it was founded upon. He didn't abandon anything.
I'm going to let him be. But the hardest part about that for me is finding a way to not feel abandoned. I feel really hurt by all of this...
Remember that. You hurt yourself by accepting less than what you wanted to begin with.click to expand
Posted by brendaf007Yeah, I started to think the same. It's so unbelievably hard not to text him... But I guess it has to be this way 😢
Good job. It’s never easy to walk away from someone or to keep your distance but sometimes you have to do that for your own sanity. He has to know what it’s like to be without you.
Posted by VenusAquariusI went to look at the texts again and what I said first was "I want to be in love, I want to share my life with someone."
You shouldn't have made the focus on a "relationship" per se. It should been about your feelings for one another.
What is missing from the state of your current relating? Is it that you don't want him to see anyone else?
If he feels the same as you do? Or, does he not? That's the foundation, the beginning. Then, it's the intimacy of expressing and showing those feelings.. then, getting to know each other better through expression... intimacy and sharing.
There's nothing "special" about someone who doesn't feel the same... established "relationship" or not.
Posted by taurusgirl9000Why text? Why don't you say these things in person... preferably before sex. I mean a weekend together is nice epecially if it's the whole weekend. I mean the man is sitting there right in front of you and you wait until he leaves to chat via text? Seems like you're scared too.Posted by VenusAquariusI went to look at the texts again and what I said first was "I want to be in love, I want to share my life with someone."
You shouldn't have made the focus on a "relationship" per se. It should been about your feelings for one another.
What is missing from the state of your current relating? Is it that you don't want him to see anyone else?
If he feels the same as you do? Or, does he not? That's the foundation, the beginning. Then, it's the intimacy of expressing and showing those feelings.. then, getting to know each other better through expression... intimacy and sharing.
There's nothing "special" about someone who doesn't feel the same... established "relationship" or not.
He wanted to see me on the weekends, but we weren't exclusive and I wasn't a part of his life. I also didn't feel like I could express my emotions to him without scaring him away or making him clam up.
I guess the major problem was he wouldn't tell me how he felt, so did he feel the same as me? I don't know, I have no idea. I only know how he made me feel, but I don't know how he truly felt because he never expressed it in words...click to expand
Posted by taurusgirl9000Don't go back girl keep it moving with the ops I mean the aqua..
Update: he's back... He texted me saying he felt bad about our conversation and how we left it. We talked for the past few days and he finally said, "I miss you." WOW. I couldn't believe he actually said it... I said I missed him too. We talked more and I discovered that while I thought we were in a friends with benefits situation, according to him we were "dating." Hmmmm... He said I see things too black and white maybe, and that he was happy with how things were going and he wants to keep seeing me. I don't know where to go from here. I really do miss him... I don't know what to do. I still think he needs time to cut the cord with his ex, who he broke up with two years ago yet still does things to help her and is emotionally attached to her...
I thought everything was done with this Cancer and have been talking to someone else in the meantime, although we haven't done anything, I am interested in getting to know him better... He is an Aqua with a Scorpio moon, who is very interesting to me...
Posted by EarthgoddessI co sign this.
Do not sleep with him
Spend time and continually date him but until he shows you it’s more than sex
Don’t let him in sis👌🏽
Posted by YodiThat's what I'm thinking... This whole thing has been a great lesson because with this new guy, the Aqua, I don't even plan on letting him kiss me until he tells me he wants to begin a relationship. This Cancer has me traumatized...Posted by taurusgirl9000Don't go back girl keep it moving with the ops I mean the aqua..
Update: he's back... He texted me saying he felt bad about our conversation and how we left it. We talked for the past few days and he finally said, "I miss you." WOW. I couldn't believe he actually said it... I said I missed him too. We talked more and I discovered that while I thought we were in a friends with benefits situation, according to him we were "dating." Hmmmm... He said I see things too black and white maybe, and that he was happy with how things were going and he wants to keep seeing me. I don't know where to go from here. I really do miss him... I don't know what to do. I still think he needs time to cut the cord with his ex, who he broke up with two years ago yet still does things to help her and is emotionally attached to her...
I thought everything was done with this Cancer and have been talking to someone else in the meantime, although we haven't done anything, I am interested in getting to know him better... He is an Aqua with a Scorpio moon, who is very interesting to me...
You could try to be friends but don't sleep with him.click to expand
Posted by taurusgirl9000Based on the BOLD he's not into you. Maybe thinking about her when having sex with you. You might just be a human pacifier... blow up doll. Cancer males have a hard time letting go of the past... that's why I say all this. He knows if he commits to you, he can't continue with her. This way he has as much cake and can eat it too.
Update: he's back... He texted me saying he felt bad about our conversation and how we left it. We talked for the past few days and he finally said, "I miss you." WOW. I couldn't believe he actually said it... I said I missed him too. We talked more and I discovered that while I thought we were in a friends with benefits situation, according to him we were "dating." Hmmmm... He said I see things too black and white maybe, and that he was happy with how things were going and he wants to keep seeing me. I don't know where to go from here. I really do miss him... I don't know what to do. I still think he needs time to cut the cord with his ex, who he broke up with two years ago yet still does things to help her and is emotionally attached to her...
I thought everything was done with this Cancer and have been talking to someone else in the meantime, although we haven't done anything, I am interested in getting to know him better... He is an Aqua with a Scorpio moon, who is very interesting to me...
Posted by taurusgirl9000Dang lol not traumatized 🤦🏿♀️ ugh crabs..Posted by YodiThat's what I'm thinking... This whole thing has been a great lesson because with this new guy, the Aqua, I don't even plan on letting him kiss me until he tells me he wants to begin a relationship. This Cancer has me traumatized...Posted by taurusgirl9000Don't go back girl keep it moving with the ops I mean the aqua..
Update: he's back... He texted me saying he felt bad about our conversation and how we left it. We talked for the past few days and he finally said, "I miss you." WOW. I couldn't believe he actually said it... I said I missed him too. We talked more and I discovered that while I thought we were in a friends with benefits situation, according to him we were "dating." Hmmmm... He said I see things too black and white maybe, and that he was happy with how things were going and he wants to keep seeing me. I don't know where to go from here. I really do miss him... I don't know what to do. I still think he needs time to cut the cord with his ex, who he broke up with two years ago yet still does things to help her and is emotionally attached to her...
I thought everything was done with this Cancer and have been talking to someone else in the meantime, although we haven't done anything, I am interested in getting to know him better... He is an Aqua with a Scorpio moon, who is very interesting to me...
You could try to be friends but don't sleep with him.click to expand
Posted by YodiYou're right. The Aqua has already started playing games with me... We had a great first date and he even told me he had fun... then I text him the next day and he doesn't reply all week... guess it's that damn Scorpio moon. I honestly am so tired mentally that when he does finally text me I probably won't have the strength or even know what to say for days... Dating in these modern times is just too hard for me... At least the Cancer was always upfront with what he felt, aka telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship and really meaning it... blahPosted by taurusgirl9000Dang lol not traumatized 🤦🏿♀️ ugh crabs..Posted by YodiThat's what I'm thinking... This whole thing has been a great lesson because with this new guy, the Aqua, I don't even plan on letting him kiss me until he tells me he wants to begin a relationship. This Cancer has me traumatized...Posted by taurusgirl9000Don't go back girl keep it moving with the ops I mean the aqua..
Update: he's back... He texted me saying he felt bad about our conversation and how we left it. We talked for the past few days and he finally said, "I miss you." WOW. I couldn't believe he actually said it... I said I missed him too. We talked more and I discovered that while I thought we were in a friends with benefits situation, according to him we were "dating." Hmmmm... He said I see things too black and white maybe, and that he was happy with how things were going and he wants to keep seeing me. I don't know where to go from here. I really do miss him... I don't know what to do. I still think he needs time to cut the cord with his ex, who he broke up with two years ago yet still does things to help her and is emotionally attached to her...
I thought everything was done with this Cancer and have been talking to someone else in the meantime, although we haven't done anything, I am interested in getting to know him better... He is an Aqua with a Scorpio moon, who is very interesting to me...
You could try to be friends but don't sleep with him.
You live, you learn and you grow.. every relationship whether it's platonic or not should teach you something new about yourself. I'm not here to tell you what to do with the aqua.. Just go with whatever makes you most comfortable.
It sucks that you entered the crab's life while he's still in love with someone else but that doesn't make him a bad person IMO and it doesn't mean he doesn't genuinely like you. He's just in love with someone else.
If you want to play with his feelings a little bit 😇 friend zone him.. call him when you need advice on your new boo. Be happy and move on with no hard feelings even if there is don't show it.
Disclaimer: the advice above may not work because everybody is diff ya know and blah blah blah
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Posted by taurusgirl9000Ugh gurl tell me about it.. there's a lot of fux boys out here and that is why you have to protect your heart and don't give them your power until you know it's real.Posted by YodiYou're right. The Aqua has already started playing games with me... We had a great first date and he even told me he had fun... then I text him the next day and he doesn't reply all week... guess it's that damn Scorpio moon. I honestly am so tired mentally that when he does finally text me I probably won't have the strength or even know what to say for days... Dating in these modern times is just too hard for me... At least the Cancer was always upfront with what he felt, aka telling me he wasn't ready for a relationship and really meaning it... blahPosted by taurusgirl9000Dang lol not traumatized 🤦🏿♀️ ugh crabs..Posted by YodiThat's what I'm thinking... This whole thing has been a great lesson because with this new guy, the Aqua, I don't even plan on letting him kiss me until he tells me he wants to begin a relationship. This Cancer has me traumatized...Posted by taurusgirl9000Don't go back girl keep it moving with the ops I mean the aqua..
Update: he's back... He texted me saying he felt bad about our conversation and how we left it. We talked for the past few days and he finally said, "I miss you." WOW. I couldn't believe he actually said it... I said I missed him too. We talked more and I discovered that while I thought we were in a friends with benefits situation, according to him we were "dating." Hmmmm... He said I see things too black and white maybe, and that he was happy with how things were going and he wants to keep seeing me. I don't know where to go from here. I really do miss him... I don't know what to do. I still think he needs time to cut the cord with his ex, who he broke up with two years ago yet still does things to help her and is emotionally attached to her...
I thought everything was done with this Cancer and have been talking to someone else in the meantime, although we haven't done anything, I am interested in getting to know him better... He is an Aqua with a Scorpio moon, who is very interesting to me...
You could try to be friends but don't sleep with him.
You live, you learn and you grow.. every relationship whether it's platonic or not should teach you something new about yourself. I'm not here to tell you what to do with the aqua.. Just go with whatever makes you most comfortable.
It sucks that you entered the crab's life while he's still in love with someone else but that doesn't make him a bad person IMO and it doesn't mean he doesn't genuinely like you. He's just in love with someone else.
If you want to play with his feelings a little bit 😇 friend zone him.. call him when you need advice on your new boo. Be happy and move on with no hard feelings even if there is don't show it.
Disclaimer: the advice above may not work because everybody is diff ya know and blah blah blah
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Posted by TimonHe actually said to me at one point "everyone has their own rhythm, I thought we were walking down a road together...."
People love differently and some people need more time than others. When you're out of sync with the other person's rhythm that's when the struggle begins. One person starts to push the other person into their rhythm and the other person starts feeling pressured.
In your case you're the one pushing and then left feeling unwanted because he doesn't match yours. I think you have to set boundaries for yourself on how much you're willing to slow things down to match his pace and also accept that if he isn't willing to give you what you need within that time you should accept that and find someone that you will work with more harmoniously.
In the end we can't control the other person's feelings or behavior only our own. You should also not be sleeping with him because that will make it so much harder for you to leave if he can't give you the relationship you want.
Posted by MyStarsShineI know. I have an Aqua moon so there are certain things about the Aqua that fascinate me, but this bullshit of seeing a simple text on Monday and now it's Saturday and I still haven't received a response (oh and it's "read" btw)? I can't and won't stand for it.
"The Aqua has already started playing games with me"
Keep reading that line ma'am ^^^^
Who wants to live that way ?
😐
Posted by taurusgirl9000You probably just want different things....he wants the easiness of sex and you morePosted by MyStarsShineI know. I have an Aqua moon so there are certain things about the Aqua that fascinate me, but this bullshit of seeing a simple text on Monday and now it's Saturday and I still haven't received a response (oh and it's "read" btw)? I can't and won't stand for it.
"The Aqua has already started playing games with me"
Keep reading that line ma'am ^^^^
Who wants to live that way ?
😐
I'm not a game-player, I'm too sincere and delicate emotionally to get involved with him I guess... What a shame... He is actually interesting and smart and we had great conversations... But this shit is just too stupid for me to handle...click to expand
Posted by taurusgirl9000Awww that's adorable. 🙂 I was too late on my post by 21 minutes. But if something were to go wrong, just take my advice
UPDATE: We met for dinner and talked. He said that for him, we were in a relationship because we both acted like boyfriend and girlfriend the whole time, and that he was really happy with that. But that for me I just needed the label, and he couldn't understand why that was.
I asked him what the problem was with the word "commitment" and he said "because then I started thinking, 'oh she wants to live with me, she wants to marry me,' and I got scared. I know it's stupid, but it's how my brain works. I over think everything and I know that's not what you meant but it made me start to have a lot of anxiety." He said he wasn't seeing anyone else and doesn't want to, he only wants to see me. So basically we were in a relationship in every way but the name.
He again used the analogy of walking down a path, and told me that while I'm walking down this path at a normal pace, he is walking with baby steps and sometimes he gets scared and stops walking, but that he always wants to keep walking with me, he just needs me to understand sometimes he gets scared and irrational. He was like, "If I'm ever acting stupid or making you mad, just tell me, 'Hey you're being stupid, or you're being crazy,' I need you to just say that and it will help me to see that I need to snap out of it." I'm a very direct person, so now that he's given me permission to do that, you better believe that I will 🙂
Then I asked him about opening up emotionally. I said I just need someone who can share how they feel when they have a problem, I don't like it when people hide their feelings. He said he's more comfortable opening up to someone if they simply ask. But he's not comfortable just stating how he feels unless I ask. I thought, okay, I can handle that.
There were many times when we both had tears in our eyes during the dinner. It felt so good to just be in his presence again, and to look at him... Finally I said, "I really like you, you know" and he said, "Yes me too, I really really like you too."
He walked me home and took my hand on the walk, which is not normally something he would do. We were laughing and he was smiling a lot and he said he felt like a weight had been lifted. He said he has barely slept since we had our argument knowing that he hurt me... I honestly am crying a little as I type this because I feel like I have finally gotten through to the part of him he was hiding for fear of being hurt...
When he kissed me at my door, he held me so tightly with his arms, he gave me all these cupped-face kisses and looked in my eyes, and I could have just melted into a puddle...
Posted by vixen14
It’s unfortunate, but he just used you for sex. The thing I hate about dating is that women get themselves in FWB situations thinking the guy will eventually fall in love with them. But men aren’t the emotional creatures females are. We operate differently. We fall in love after sex and they before sex.
Best thing you can do is hold out on a guy and not get yourself in these situations. Men never fall in love with a woman based on sex.
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