AQUA•FISH
@pisceswoman123
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What does it take for an immature cancer to mature? (Page 2)
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Posted by butterfly30sometimes though, i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed. I still talk to her the same and I still do the same things. I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive. There was a time where she is saying (indirectly like what cancers do) that she is testing me and it's because she cares, she said. Maybe to see if I was not lying about what I say to her. I call it her "games" ... it feels to me like she is playing games with me and then when i am at my limit (I feel physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually drained) and i literally break down from all of her games, she tries to water down what she did as if it was nothing. Like if I don't do what she wants at the time that she wants it, she will be difficult in every way --- difficult to talk to, walking out, ignores you, etc. I don't know how long she will be like that but I have expressed to her how it feels to me --- the metaphor I gave that I feel like I am being punched in the face over and over and that she shouldn't expect me to be okay after being beat up so bad by what she is doing.Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
thank you for that. I'm an evolved scorpio. I am focused on healing. I am never vengeful and never angry nor manipulative or controlling. I never shout at her nor have i been violent with her ever. It's just that most of the time she misinterprets things in a very intense way that she overreacts. before she was not like this. but as time passes on, her reaction gets worse and worse. I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is stronger now than before and i actually see it as a good thing --- it shows to me that she feels strongly about me. it's just that sometimes it's out of control...like she can't control it? I always wonder how can I help her calm down. Is there a way for me to help her calm her intense emotions. click to expand
You said most of the times she misinterpret things then overreact. ..what things? Is it the samethings all of the time? Did you every change your delivery so she can receive it better? Did you ever talk about what going on with communication that make you both not on the same page?
You said her reaction have gotten worse.....
sound like to me that there is a behavior that keep on happening from you that she dislike.
You said..I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is now stronger then before. Yes her feeling will be stronger if she keep showing irritation over a behavior that she don't like and the situation isn't approving.
You said ...I actually see it as a good thing. it show me that she's feeling strongly about me. Lol..that so scorpio. Feeling like any emotion is good emotion or good for the relationship. You have to watch that because feeling irritation or upset in a relationship with no resolution is path to an unhealthy relationship..the bad feeling will over power the good.
You ask..Is it a way to help her calm her intense emotion?
By asking her what is it that's getting you upset. Do not do general talk. Actually sit down and be specific about what's going wrong. I think a lot of water signs get caught up in emotions that lose the details on why the emotion is there. click to expandclick to expand
she's like a toddler. but i love her. and i don't know what to do.
@scopioooo
But what do you do that makes her retreat to her shell? You have been together 6yrs and you still do the same things over and over again. There is more to this im sure. It seems like an insecure connection. What is she asking that you cant give? Maybe she feels that your rs is unstable, not solid, even after 6 yrs you havent progressed much? Have you evaluated your milestones and that gave you the assurance of a solid rs? 6yrs, she is 47 -are you in the same page? Maybe she wants more that you cant offer now.
Im not a cancer but i have cancer moon and im like her when im hurt; i retreat, become silent until hell freezes over especially when the situation seems hopeless.
But what do you do that makes her retreat to her shell? You have been together 6yrs and you still do the same things over and over again. There is more to this im sure. It seems like an insecure connection. What is she asking that you cant give? Maybe she feels that your rs is unstable, not solid, even after 6 yrs you havent progressed much? Have you evaluated your milestones and that gave you the assurance of a solid rs? 6yrs, she is 47 -are you in the same page? Maybe she wants more that you cant offer now.
Im not a cancer but i have cancer moon and im like her when im hurt; i retreat, become silent until hell freezes over especially when the situation seems hopeless.
Posted by fishcrabscale2small things actually..here's when it all started 3 years ago:
@scopioooo
But what do you do that makes her retreat to her shell? You have been together 6yrs and you still do the same things over and over again. There is more to this im sure. It seems like an insecure connection. What is she asking that you cant give? Maybe she feels that your rs is unstable, not solid, even after 6 yrs you havent progressed much? Have you evaluated your milestones and that gave you the assurance of a solid rs? 6yrs, she is 47 -are you in the same page? Maybe she wants more that you cant offer now.
Im not a cancer but i have cancer moon and im like her when im hurt; i retreat, become silent until hell freezes over especially when the situation seems hopeless.
1. she was asking me indirectly (through another person's phone number without saying that it's her) to go out by asking me if there are beaches that i know of. When she does that (using another phone number without telling me it's her), I just pretend like i am talking to the person who owns the number. I replied to the above that i'm a workaholic, i don't know that much beaches because i don't go out on beaches. i feel like she took it as rejection and from then on when i tried to meet with her she would say that she's busy (like a workaholic) and she makes it difficult for me to meet her/have a date. before that, she makes time for me.
the very recent one right now is this:
2. She is in Dubai and I am in a different country. She wants me to fly to Dubai on very short notice (like literally the next day or the next week which will cost me $ 1000 USD back and fourth). I told her and explained to her that I don't have the money to do that yet. But it's not as if I don't want to go. it's just that I can't yet (I did not have the money). She said that i was just making excuses and saying things like I was not believable, she said. That drained me...When she does things that drains me, as an evolved scorpio, i just heal from it. I do not take revenge. I just take time to recover from what she is giving me. Afterwards I decided to give her what she wants -- i decided to fly to Dubai, but it would take me 1 month of saving to do it (1 month later than the time she wanted me to be there). This was after she posted on her social media "time's up" like i guess it means she is finished waiting for me to fly there? When i got the money to fly to dubai, i tried to contact her and ask her until when she is there so that I can book my flight. She did not answer. I told her that I will extend the time that I need to book my flight to give her time to think about it. She still did not answer. What I just did was I just went ahead and booked my flight to dubai because when she does not answer, I don't know what is the answer. After I informed her that I booked my flight, she informed me that she might not be there on the dates that i booked my flight. So what I did was i decided to change my flight going to Dubai earlier than the original so that we would meet. I paid twice the amount i paid initially for my flight. And when I got to Dubai and we met, she ignored me and walked out. After she did that, I cried. Because I was very tired flying and saving money and then that was what she gave me after all of that. That's why I explained to her that i felt like i was being punched in the face.
she has also expressed her desire to be pursued.
She needs her heart broken first then she’ll mature
Posted by scopiooooThis is so messed up. You are in a relationship with a selfish person and this has been going on for 6yrs and no ray of hope in sight.. you deserve better. This is not a problem with immaturity but a serious character flaw.Posted by fishcrabscale2
@scopioooo
But what do you do that makes her retreat to her shell? You have been together 6yrs and you still do the same things over and over again. There is more to this im sure. It seems like an insecure connection. What is she asking that you cant give? Maybe she feels that your rs is unstable, not solid, even after 6 yrs you havent progressed much? Have you evaluated your milestones and that gave you the assurance of a solid rs? 6yrs, she is 47 -are you in the same page? Maybe she wants more that you cant offer now.
Im not a cancer but i have cancer moon and im like her when im hurt; i retreat, become silent until hell freezes over especially when the situation seems hopeless.
small things actually..here's when it all started 3 years ago:
1. she was asking me indirectly (through another person's phone number without saying that it's her) to go out by asking me if there are beaches that i know of. When she does that (using another phone number without telling me it's her), I just pretend like i am talking to the person who owns the number. I replied to the above that i'm a workaholic, i don't know that much beaches because i don't go out on beaches. i feel like she took it as rejection and from then on when i tried to meet with her she would say that she's busy (like a workaholic) and she makes it difficult for me to meet her/have a date. before that, she makes time for me.
the very recent one right now is this:
2. She is in Dubai and I am in a different country. She wants me to fly to Dubai on very short notice (like literally the next day or the next week which will cost me $ 1000 USD back and fourth). I told her and explained to her that I don't have the money to do that yet. But it's not as if I don't want to go. it's just that I can't yet (I did not have the money). She said that i was just making excuses and saying things like I was not believable, she said. That drained me...When she does things that drains me, as an evolved scorpio, i just heal from it. I do not take revenge. I just take time to recover from what she is giving me. Afterwards I decided to give her what she wants -- i decided to fly to Dubai, but it would take me 1 month of saving to do it (1 month later than the time she wanted me to be there). This was after she posted on her social media "time's up" like i guess it means she is finished waiting for me to fly there? When i got the money to fly to dubai, i tried to contact her and ask her until when she is there so that I can book my flight. She did not answer. I told her that I will extend the time that I need to book my flight to give her time to think about it. She still did not answer. What I just did was I just went ahead and booked my flight to dubai because when she does not answer, I don't know what is the answer. After I informed her that I booked my flight, she informed me that she might not be there on the dates that i booked my flight. So what I did was i decided to change my flight going to Dubai earlier than the original so that we would meet. I paid twice the amount i paid initially for my flight. And when I got to Dubai and we met, she ignored me and walked out. After she did that, I cried. Because I was very tired flying and saving money and then that was what she gave me after all of that. That's why I explained to her that i felt like i was being punched in the face. click to expandclick to expand
Ask yourself if this is the kind of rs you need. If the rs is causing you stress instead of warm-fuzzy-feelings.. if the rs is causing you sadness instead of the assurance that you are loved, then you know what to do.
Posted by scopiooooAfter 6yrs? She is 47! I dont mean to disrespect older people but wth is this? Pursue until what/when? Do you have a goal together?
she has also expressed her desire to be pursued.
This whole thing seems unbelievable. Suddenly i feel tired of your situation.
Posted by fishcrabscale2she was not like that before. it all started last 2015. she's just insecure that i don't love her/i don't want to be with her. i've read in another forum about this guy talking about his cancer sister who does the same things because of her insecurity. In my point of view all our problems is just her misunderstanding things but she has not given me the chance to talk to her properly about it yet (as you have seen with the ignore and walking out) so my goal with her is to be able to talk to her properly. i made her aware of what i felt via our common friend recently that i hope i don't die in the process (from stress and being tired all the time) before she realizes what exactly she is doing. hopefully she gets the message.Posted by scopioooo
she has also expressed her desire to be pursued.
After 6yrs? She is 47! I dont mean to disrespect older people but wth is this? Pursue until what/when? Do you have a goal together?
This whole thing seems unbelievable. Suddenly i feel tired of your situation. click to expandclick to expand
Posted by Impulsvyes, I am younger.
Are you younger than her
Posted by butterfly30would him telling you how he feels rather than secretly holding his anger help your relationship? would you prefer that he says what he feels to you?
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
thank you for that. I'm an evolved scorpio. I am focused on healing. I am never vengeful and never angry nor manipulative or controlling. I never shout at her nor have i been violent with her ever. It's just that most of the time she misinterprets things in a very intense way that she overreacts. before she was not like this. but as time passes on, her reaction gets worse and worse. I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is stronger now than before and i actually see it as a good thing --- it shows to me that she feels strongly about me. it's just that sometimes it's out of control...like she can't control it? I always wonder how can I help her calm down. Is there a way for me to help her calm her intense emotions. click to expand
You said most of the times she misinterpret things then overreact. ..what things? Is it the samethings all of the time? Did you every change your delivery so she can receive it better? Did you ever talk about what going on with communication that make you both not on the same page?
You said her reaction have gotten worse.....
sound like to me that there is a behavior that keep on happening from you that she dislike.
You said..I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is now stronger then before. Yes her feeling will be stronger if she keep showing irritation over a behavior that she don't like and the situation isn't approving.
You said ...I actually see it as a good thing. it show me that she's feeling strongly about me. Lol..that so scorpio. Feeling like any emotion is good emotion or good for the relationship. You have to watch that because feeling irritation or upset in a relationship with no resolution is path to an unhealthy relationship..the bad feeling will over power the good.
You ask..Is it a way to help her calm her intense emotion?
By asking her what is it that's getting you upset. Do not do general talk. Actually sit down and be specific about what's going wrong. I think a lot of water signs get caught up in emotions that lose the details on why the emotion is there. click to expand
sometimes though, i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed. I still talk to her the same and I still do the same things. I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive. There was a time where she is saying (indirectly like what cancers do) So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressivewith me and then when i am at my limit (I feel physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually drained) and i literally break down from all of her games, she tries to water down what she did as if it was nothing. Like if I don't do what she wants at the time that she wants it, she will be difficult in every way --- difficult to talk to, walking out, ignores you, etc. I don't know how long she will be like that but I have expressed to her how it feels to me --- the metaphor I gave that I feel like I am being punched in the face over and over and that she shouldn't expect me to be okay after being beat up so bad by what she is doing. click to expandclick to expand
I don't know..I feel like you leaving out something.
You said.. i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed.
Again no one just change for no reason. You seeing a reaction to something. This is her being upset. So why you believe she's not upset?
You said... I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her....
Like I said there is something going on with the dialog where she taken you wrong. So what are the things she misinterpret and find a new delivery.
You said.. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive
You answer your question..she's demanding something that you are not giving.
Question have you done any thing in the relationship that cause a trust issue?
You going to have to talk to her. Allow her to be clear on what's going on to cause her to behave this way. Behonest I predicted that she told you the issues already but you not taken it as serious so she react by going in her shell or using tactics . I just get this vibe from you ..like what she getting mad about isn't a big deal but when she close up it become a big deal because now you are affected...your feeling hurt.
Not trying to sound like a asshole but scorps can have a selfish emotion about things. I feel...you hurt me.. . It's me that's hurt...But when it's someone else that's hurting they will come up with all these reason to take the fault off of them or to make it small...by saying she just insecure, she misunderstood me. No maybe she's hurt by your actions...just like you hurt from her actions.
Posted by butterfly30just on that not big deal thing. most of the time it's not a big deal. she just misunderstands most of the time. it's just that her mind blows it out of proportion and she reacts what is in her mind (that the issue is bigger than it actually is). when she started doing this a couple of years ago, her reactions were just small (e.g. she would do name-calling on me or something and I can tell that she is hurt) so what i do whenever it happens is clarify to her what i meant in a gentle manner. after i do that she calms down. but as time passes on, she gets more sensitive to me more and more and her reactions gets worse than just name-calling in such a way that it's already affecting me unlike before that I was able to identify that something is up with her, and i can tell with my intuition what it is and i can address it effectively by clarifying to her what she misunderstood... have you ever experienced that? --- someone who can tell that something is bothering you and can tell what it is and knows how to calm you down.Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
thank you for that. I'm an evolved scorpio. I am focused on healing. I am never vengeful and never angry nor manipulative or controlling. I never shout at her nor have i been violent with her ever. It's just that most of the time she misinterprets things in a very intense way that she overreacts. before she was not like this. but as time passes on, her reaction gets worse and worse. I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is stronger now than before and i actually see it as a good thing --- it shows to me that she feels strongly about me. it's just that sometimes it's out of control...like she can't control it? I always wonder how can I help her calm down. Is there a way for me to help her calm her intense emotions. click to expand
You said most of the times she misinterpret things then overreact. ..what things? Is it the samethings all of the time? Did you every change your delivery so she can receive it better? Did you ever talk about what going on with communication that make you both not on the same page?
You said her reaction have gotten worse.....
sound like to me that there is a behavior that keep on happening from you that she dislike.
You said..I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is now stronger then before. Yes her feeling will be stronger if she keep showing irritation over a behavior that she don't like and the situation isn't approving.
You said ...I actually see it as a good thing. it show me that she's feeling strongly about me. Lol..that so scorpio. Feeling like any emotion is good emotion or good for the relationship. You have to watch that because feeling irritation or upset in a relationship with no resolution is path to an unhealthy relationship..the bad feeling will over power the good.
You ask..Is it a way to help her calm her intense emotion?
By asking her what is it that's getting you upset. Do not do general talk. Actually sit down and be specific about what's going wrong. I think a lot of water signs get caught up in emotions that lose the details on why the emotion is there. click to expand
sometimes though, i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed. I still talk to her the same and I still do the same things. I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive. There was a time where she is saying (indirectly like what cancers do) So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressivewith me and then when i am at my limit (I feel physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually drained) and i literally break down from all of her games, she tries to water down what she did as if it was nothing. Like if I don't do what she wants at the time that she wants it, she will be difficult in every way --- difficult to talk to, walking out, ignores you, etc. I don't know how long she will be like that but I have expressed to her how it feels to me --- the metaphor I gave that I feel like I am being punched in the face over and over and that she shouldn't expect me to be okay after being beat up so bad by what she is doing. click to expand
I don't know..I feel like you leaving out something.
You said.. i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed.
Again no one just change for no reason. You seeing a reaction to something. This is her being upset. So why you believe she's not upset?
You said... I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her....
Like I said there is something going on with the dialog where she taken you wrong. So what are the things she misinterpret and find a new delivery.
You said.. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive
You answer your question..she's demanding something that you are not giving.
Question have you done any thing in the relationship that cause a trust issue?
You going to have to talk to her. Allow her to be clear on what's going on to cause her to behave this way. Behonest I predicted that she told you the issues already but you not taken it as serious so she react by going in her shell or using tactics . I just get this vibe from you ..like what she getting mad about isn't a big deal but when she close up it become a big deal because now you are affected...your feeling hurt.
Not trying to sound like a marker but scorps can have a selfish emotion about things. I feel...you hurt me.. . It's me that's hurt...But when it's someone else that's hurting they will come up with all these reason to take the fault off of them or to make it small...by saying she just insecure, she misunderstood me. No maybe she's hurt by your actions...just like you hurt from her actions.
click to expandclick to expand
Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
would him telling you how he feels rather than secretly holding his anger help your relationship? would you prefer that he says what he feels to you? click to expandclick to expand
Nope..problems are deeper then that. Because his anger really has nothing to do with me..I think it's more about him wanting to do what he want to do..due to the way he was raise.
Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30Posted by scopiooooPosted by butterfly30
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
thank you for that. I'm an evolved scorpio. I am focused on healing. I am never vengeful and never angry nor manipulative or controlling. I never shout at her nor have i been violent with her ever. It's just that most of the time she misinterprets things in a very intense way that she overreacts. before she was not like this. but as time passes on, her reaction gets worse and worse. I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is stronger now than before and i actually see it as a good thing --- it shows to me that she feels strongly about me. it's just that sometimes it's out of control...like she can't control it? I always wonder how can I help her calm down. Is there a way for me to help her calm her intense emotions. click to expand
You said most of the times she misinterpret things then overreact. ..what things? Is it the samethings all of the time? Did you every change your delivery so she can receive it better? Did you ever talk about what going on with communication that make you both not on the same page?
You said her reaction have gotten worse.....
sound like to me that there is a behavior that keep on happening from you that she dislike.
You said..I thought that maybe the reason for that is because what she feels is now stronger then before. Yes her feeling will be stronger if she keep showing irritation over a behavior that she don't like and the situation isn't approving.
You said ...I actually see it as a good thing. it show me that she's feeling strongly about me. Lol..that so scorpio. Feeling like any emotion is good emotion or good for the relationship. You have to watch that because feeling irritation or upset in a relationship with no resolution is path to an unhealthy relationship..the bad feeling will over power the good.
You ask..Is it a way to help her calm her intense emotion?
By asking her what is it that's getting you upset. Do not do general talk. Actually sit down and be specific about what's going wrong. I think a lot of water signs get caught up in emotions that lose the details on why the emotion is there. click to expand
sometimes though, i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed. I still talk to her the same and I still do the same things. I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive. There was a time where she is saying (indirectly like what cancers do) So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressivewith me and then when i am at my limit (I feel physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually drained) and i literally break down from all of her games, she tries to water down what she did as if it was nothing. Like if I don't do what she wants at the time that she wants it, she will be difficult in every way --- difficult to talk to, walking out, ignores you, etc. I don't know how long she will be like that but I have expressed to her how it feels to me --- the metaphor I gave that I feel like I am being punched in the face over and over and that she shouldn't expect me to be okay after being beat up so bad by what she is doing. click to expand
I don't know..I feel like you leaving out something.
You said.. i don't think she is upset at all. Because I never changed. she was the one who changed.
Again no one just change for no reason. You seeing a reaction to something. This is her being upset. So why you believe she's not upset?
You said... I think that we had a lot of moments where she misinterprets what i said/did/did not do as i don't love her....
Like I said there is something going on with the dialog where she taken you wrong. So what are the things she misinterpret and find a new delivery.
You said.. So after that she becomes highly demanding and uncompromising and passive aggressive
You answer your question..she's demanding something that you are not giving.
Question have you done any thing in the relationship that cause a trust issue?
You going to have to talk to her. Allow her to be clear on what's going on to cause her to behave this way. Behonest I predicted that she told you the issues already but you not taken it as serious so she react by going in her shell or using tactics . I just get this vibe from you ..like what she getting mad about isn't a big deal but when she close up it become a big deal because now you are affected...your feeling hurt.
Not trying to sound like a marker but scorps can have a selfish emotion about things. I feel...you hurt me.. . It's me that's hurt...But when it's someone else that's hurting they will come up with all these reason to take the fault off of them or to make it small...by saying she just insecure, she misunderstood me. No maybe she's hurt by your actions...just like you hurt from her actions.
click to expandclick to expand
just on that not big deal thing. most of the time it's not a big deal. she just misunderstands most of the time. it's just that her mind blows it out of proportion and she reacts what is in her mind (that the issue is bigger than it actually is). when she started doing this a couple of years ago, her reactions were just small (e.g. she would do name-calling on me or something and I can tell that she is hurt) so what i do whenever it happens is clarify to her what i meant in a gentle manner. after i do that she calms down. but as time passes on, she gets more sensitive to me more and more and her reactions gets worse than just name-calling in such a way that it's already affecting me unlike before that I was able to identify that something is up with her, and i can tell with my intuition what it is and i can address it effectively by clarifying to her what she misunderstood... have you ever experienced that? --- someone who can tell that something is bothering you and can tell what it is and knows how to calm you down. click to expand
Posted by butterfly30I see. I am not like that. I respect my cancer. I actually want to do everything she wants me to do. It's just that sometimes i can't yet. But that doesn't mean i don't want to do it (what she wants). I honestly want to make all of her dreams come true and i want to be everything she is ever dreamed of. But her insecurities is maker her not see that.Posted by scopiooooNope..problems are deeper then that. Because his anger really has nothing to do with me..I think it's more about him wanting to do what he want to do..due to the way he was raise. click to expandPosted by butterfly30
Sound like me and my scorp relationship years ago..we at the end now. About to be done with his ass..but we dealt with the same problems.
I would go in my shell when he piss me off. He always said I was sensitive. He would sware that he was changing but he just change the way he done certain behavior. Funny thing was he was very sensitive himself but called me sensitive. I was very clear at the beginning of the butter I don't like. Which made him feel controlled...I found out how bad that was for him years later. He felt like with me he had to tiptoe around me. And I felt like it was me demanding respect and protecting myself. But in reality he really wasn't changing behavior he just change the way he did it..or found a new way of doing the same butter. Scorpio are real rebellious and manipulative.. They resist change. Scorpio like to be in control...and they will not admit that. Cancer like to be in control of there emotions. The same butter I complain about he didn't like it being done to himself..because i would mirror his behavior to show him my side of it but he would claim it's not the same or see my side but turn around do the same behavior. There was things that he cool down on for my benefit but years later I heard how those things affect him..it was him secretly holding this anger inside because he couldn't behave the way he wanted too..which I have a deeper theory on what that was all about...too.
I not saying I was perfect..but just wanted to let you hear the other perspective of a similar situation.
would him telling you how he feels rather than secretly holding his anger help your relationship? would you prefer that he says what he feels to you? click to expandclick to expand
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Tell me all about them please.
Est. 2013.
So i have a bestie, she is a cancer and we have been so close for years. We consider each others a sisters.
It's her second marriage.
Her first one was awful. She got treated badly, cheated on and physically abused.
She got divorced, her parents raisin
I feel like mine does, I was on my phone and he said something like, stop reading forum on your phone.
what it a coincidence ? hmmm
like can we actually out last a cancer silent treatment / hiatus .
if so which sign you think is capable of outlasting one
Just had a very lengthy nice texting with Cancer. We are usually very brief because he is working and traveling and just being impossible! Lol
First month was really awesome and we had been in tune with everything until he had to go far far away for a
we travelled most of the time in those years, so we have been sort of living together. He never used one and i thought he was fine with it. we're both 30+ yrs old already have jobs except that of course he resigned from his work to travel. we never have b
Well, for those who’ve asked.
After 8 years of Scorpio concentration camp all this seem bit overwhelming.
Cancer is away on business trips far away but a moment he is back home - we meet and he is so calm and contained with his life - it’s strange. Co
You would know I’m dealing with this Cancer sun man, and I believe the many squares/oppositions between the signs and the many fixed modalities in his personal planets give rise to someone who is not only mostly conflicted but also obstinate.
His Signs
7/17/1961
Any info appreciated!
The chemistry off charts and it’s scaaaary!!!! Lol
As a male who is possessive and enjoy to be in control?!
The closest I met to this was an Cancer Sun/ Pisces asc
which one?
Do you find yourself being overly sensitive. How long does it take for you to realize your over reacting or do you just think you are right? Are you generally passive aggressive or how do you handle anger? How long does it take for your anger to pass?
Why am I terrified to go near the sea or even scared of sea creatures when I’m a cancer, I can’t even go near water at night.
Seriously. Lets talk about something more interesting. Like your hobbies. Or how you fuck. Or self preservation. I mean COMMON. (cancer sun, libra rising, sag moon)
So I'll be the first to admit I know very little about cancers beyond the very basic "they're emotional" stereotype.
But I'm hoping you guys can further my knowledge when it comes to the nurturing side of cancer and cancer related people.
My part
I'm a Cancer Sun and Taurus Moon, she is a Pisces Sun and Taurus Moon.
We had a few bumps where there were periods where we were just arguing over silly things but after convincing her to give it another shot we continued to have a good relationship.
What do you do to flirt with a cancer moon female?
Even with the age difference you seem the mature one in the relationship