15 month relationship just came to an end...

I'm a Cancer Sun and Taurus Moon, she is a Pisces Sun and Taurus Moon. We had a few bumps where there were periods where we were just arguing over silly things but after convincing her to give it another shot we continued to have a good relationship.
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  • I'm a Cancer Sun and Taurus Moon, she is a Pisces Sun and Taurus Moon.

    We had a few bumps where there were periods where we were just arguing over silly things but after convincing her to give it another shot we continued to have a good relationship.

    The past few weeks have been weird though, not as close as we normally are and today she finally told me she couldn't continue our relationship and focus on her studies at the same time. I accepted it and realised that I think this is what I have been wanting too. I was getting too comfortable being sad and overthinking my interactions with her when I should be enjoying my days like I used to.

    Most of our fights only ever revolved around one thing and that was bad communication. She just wasn't very good at portraying her feelings and got uncomfortable whenever I did.

    I'm not as sad as I thought I would be but I know I will miss her, I let her into my life and now she's gone so obviously it is upsetting. I'm also starting to think that there is hope for us to get back together in the future, which I feel like is not good for me if I want to try to move on.

    Anyone want to share advice on getting over this? I'm a little scared that I'm fine now but in a few days or weeks (or when I have bad days) I'm just going to break down because I won't really have anyone to talk to.
  • LadyNeptune
    🌵🍋🌿
    How much longer before shes done with school?
  • thecrazyariestaurus
    INTJ. Virgo⬆️ 8H Taurus🌞 11H Cancer 🌛 8H Aries Merc
    27 years old female
    Have your breakdown, and continue to keep it moving. That's what I'm doing now. I have breakdowns (mainly when I'm drunk), then I move on with my day lol
  • How were you different in portraying your feelings for each other so it lead to break up?
  • This is where you slap the vice on your head that only allows you to see forward. That is the direction you go. As a cancer sun, I know all about dwelling in the past. This gets you nowhere. After a break up such as yours, there is a void there and it will take some time to adjust to being single. This typically takes a few weeks to a few months depending on the strength of the emotional attachment if you inforce no contact. Remaining in contact with an ex, will make that progress stagnant, and possibly even reverse it.
  • Posted by LadyNeptune
    How much longer before shes done with school?


    She has around 9 months left until she is completely finished.

    We had a good talk yesterday and provided closure to each other. I asked her if she is open to the thought of us in the future and she said yes. I made mistakes but I know I was a good girlfriend and I hope that in the next few months she misses me and wants me back but I also know that in the next few months a lot can change.
  • Posted by thecrazyariestaurus
    Have your breakdown, and continue to keep it moving. That's what I'm doing now. I have breakdowns (mainly when I'm drunk), then I move on with my day lol


    It's odd because I don't feel like I need it. The weeks before were not good and so it felt like I had gone through a lot of emotional distress already and the break up was just inevitable.

    She has told me that she likes her space and needs time to think about how she feels and so do I. It's just difficult to accept it at the moment and I unfortunately still have hope for us which does not feel like a good step in moving on.

    It's a pretty crap time in my life right now
  • Posted by Gemitati
    How were you different in portraying your feelings for each other so it lead to break up?


    I was someone that needed to air things in the open straight away and she was the opposite. If I had a problem I wanted her to know as soon as possible so that she can stop hurting me or give me an explanation so we can move past it.
    She is very defensive so this led her to think that I was being horrible to her when in reality I just didn't want to be hurt by someone I love.

    She never did that obviously and always brought up problems when I did to switch blame to me. Sometimes she would exaggerate things I did to make me seem like a worse person that I am and I think she did that to make it easier for her to hate me at the time or simply excuse her behaviour whenever she was wrong. So instead of acknowledging her actions she was basically saying "well you did X to me which is a lot worse so you're the one in the wrong not me"

    We had a few other problems that I was trying hard to fix but aside from that we were solid.
  • Posted by Crabra
    This is where you slap the vice on your head that only allows you to see forward. That is the direction you go. As a cancer sun, I know all about dwelling in the past. This gets you nowhere. After a break up such as yours, there is a void there and it will take some time to adjust to being single. This typically takes a few weeks to a few months depending on the strength of the emotional attachment if you inforce no contact. Remaining in contact with an ex, will make that progress stagnant, and possibly even reverse it.


    I will definitely refrain from contacting or seeing her because I know that's what we both need. Time to figure things out. I know I love her though which is why I really hope we can work things through in the future but I'm also afraid that I will be the only one who feels this way when it comes to that (or even if it comes to that).

    She's the type of person to get stressed easily and has told me many times how she is scared about her final year of studies because she wants to do well. This was obviously a huge motive for why she ended things but she has also mentioned that I have made mistakes that also contributed to the decision.
  • Posted by GC02
    You’ll be alright fellow Cancer sun Taurus moon.

    I’d say for your mental and emotional health you should just keep moving forward.
    We are charming people someone else will come along soon enough. Life is not over, I have a feeling this is only the beginning for you.


    Thank you for the kind words, I do feel like I won't find anyone that can fill the void that she has left in my life and I deep down don't want anyone do it either. I want her to remember all the good times we had so she feels like she wants to try again. I don't think the problems we had recently were justifiable for a break up but of course her studies also had a big part in her decision.
  • Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
    Two taurus moons how was that?

    Was it comforting?


    We had great moments and when we were together we were always very loving. Not seeing each other put a strain on us most of the time especially when it was sometimes weeks when I couldn't see her. My insecurities took full control when that happened as it felt like I was losing her - something I need to work on.

    She said multiple times she she believes she doesn't miss me as much as I miss her. She takes longer to miss me whereas I would like to see each other at least once a week. This also factored into her decision because with demanding studies she was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep me happy which would result in us arguing.
  • pisceswoman123
    🌞Aquafish 🌕Taurus ❤️ Aries ASC Virgo
    Well the way I see it is if you are ready to move on, do it. If you are not, just take a day at a time. If you don't have major issues maybe this is just something you both have to work through. Give it a bit of time. Soon enough you will know what to do. Sometimes you just need a bit of space to see things clearly.
  • pisceswoman123
    🌞Aquafish 🌕Taurus ❤️ Aries ASC Virgo
    Posted by cancersaurus
    Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
    Two taurus moons how was that?

    Was it comforting?


    We had great moments and when we were together we were always very loving. Not seeing each other put a strain on us most of the time especially when it was sometimes weeks when I couldn't see her. My insecurities took full control when that happened as it felt like I was losing her - something I need to work on.

    She said multiple times she she believes she doesn't miss me as much as I miss her. She takes longer to miss me whereas I would like to see each other at least once a week. This also factored into her decision because with demanding studies she was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep me happy which would result in us arguing.
    click to expand


    It's seems to me that you have been a bit clingy... Pisces needs space and time alone. Clingy is not good.
    I know is not fun when you feel that you need the other person more than they need you but that is something that you have to control... Just my opinion 😐
  • Posted by pisceswoman123
    Well the way I see it is if you are ready to move on, do it. If you are not, just take a day at a time. If you don't have major issues maybe this is just something you both have to work through. Give it a bit of time. Soon enough you will know what to do. Sometimes you just need a bit of space to see things clearly.


    Yes I agree with everything you said and she also feels the same. I just feel guilty that this has happened even though I know it's not wholly my fault.

    Thank you smile
  • Posted by pisceswoman123
    Posted by cancersaurus
    Posted by CaramelizedCoffee
    Two taurus moons how was that?

    Was it comforting?


    We had great moments and when we were together we were always very loving. Not seeing each other put a strain on us most of the time especially when it was sometimes weeks when I couldn't see her. My insecurities took full control when that happened as it felt like I was losing her - something I need to work on.

    She said multiple times she she believes she doesn't miss me as much as I miss her. She takes longer to miss me whereas I would like to see each other at least once a week. This also factored into her decision because with demanding studies she was afraid she wouldn't be able to keep me happy which would result in us arguing.


    It's seems to me that you have been a bit clingy... Pisces needs space and time alone. Clingy is not good.
    I know is not fun when you feel that you need the other person more than they need you but that is something that you have to control... Just my opinion 😐
    click to expand


    As hard as it is for me to admit I definitely have and I hate myself for it. It only occurs when I feel distant to her and feel like I'm losing her, it's something I know I need to work on.

    A few months ago during her summer break she was begging me to visit - which I did for about a week. After that I left and a few days later she wanted me to visit again but I didn't want to because I wanted more time to myself before visiting again even though she was requesting a lot.

    Knowing this I know I'm not clingy when I am my normal self, in fact I am similar to her but when we went a long time without seeing each other I found it hard to control my actions. I feel very crap about myself for doing this because I know this drove her away from and I don't know if I can salvage that.
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