Ask a Cap Male (Page 2)

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Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by daron76
Posted by Virgiene
My cappy guy calls every night , text me several times in a day , ccoks for me, we see each other once or twice a week but we go to church every Sunday. It is been like this for more than a year already but he doesn't say anything about the future, did not meet his friends and family yet . My question is , IN YOUR OPINION... what am I to him?
Best case scenario- he feels you are important but is still working through his feelings. He may also have other stuff he is focused on. Or he could think you are good with the way things are. Hard to say really.

Worst case- You are comfortable. I have been guilty of staying with someone just because the situation was comfortable and reliable. Don't get me wrong, comfort and reliability are very important. But there needs to be that spark. Without that spark, I'm just wasting your time and mine.
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Based on the worst and best case scenario that you gave me..what is the best ONE LiNER you can give me in order for me to come up with a good decision?

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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by daron76
Posted by Virgiene



The thing is in her situation (Virgiene I hope you don't mind me sharing) she ended things because he wouldn't verbally give her what she wanted (meaning define exactly what they are). The next day, he's on her doorstep.

Imo he wouldn't have done that unless he was serious. He would've just let things end at that point. If I remember correctly, he has 2 teenage kids.

So I think he is showing her the best way he knows how, and there is a disconnect in him thinking his actions speak for themselves and her understanding the way he is communicating/ emoting.

It can be difficult integrating people in your life when you have children because you want to make sure they'll be there for the long haul rather than someone who will be in & out of your child's life.

Do the children attend church with you on Sunday @Virgiene? If so then maybe he is comfortable like Daron said. If not, then I stand by what I initially posted.

I'm just not texting/ calling someone everyday for the heck of it. That's draining to me.
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Hmmm. That's tough. If you are only going to feel secure based on what he says, then she should either leave or be patient. Its clear he is struggling to communicate how he feels verbally. Not all of us figure out how to do that (then in add in the fact that he is a guy sooo...). His actions clearly indicate that you are important to him but if you will only believe it when he says it (which is ass-backwards in my opinion btw) then it may be a while before you get it the way you want it. But........

Are you sure words will satisfy you though? Cause in a post below, you say he sent you a song that ends with "I love you". That is a VERY clear attempt at him trying to convey that to you in a clever way. It seems as though what you may be looking for is an undeniable mountain of evidence with a big sign on top saying "I love you". That, my dear, screams insecurity. I am not saying that you are- you know your situation far better than I do. The same goes for your wants and needs. But, if you do feel insecure, the place to start working on that is with you.

Profile picture of Virgiene
Virgiene
@Virgiene
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 95 · Topics: 12
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by daron76
Posted by Virgiene
My cappy guy calls every night , text me several times in a day , ccoks for me, we see each other once or twice a week but we go to church every Sunday. It is been like this for more than a year already but he doesn't say anything about the future, did not meet his friends and family yet . My question is , IN YOUR OPINION... what am I to him?
Best case scenario- he feels you are important but is still working through his feelings. He may also have other stuff he is focused on. Or he could think you are good with the way things are. Hard to say really.

Worst case- You are comfortable. I have been guilty of staying with someone just because the situation was comfortable and reliable. Don't get me wrong, comfort and reliability are very important. But there needs to be that spark. Without that spark, I'm just wasting your time and mine.

The thing is in her situation (Virgiene I hope you don't mind me sharing) she ended things because he wouldn't verbally give her what she wanted (meaning define exactly what they are). The next day, he's on her doorstep.

Imo he wouldn't have done that unless he was serious. He would've just let things end at that point. If I remember correctly, he has 2 teenage kids.

So I think he is showing her the best way he knows how, and there is a disconnect in him thinking his actions speak for themselves and her understanding the way he is communicating/ emoting.

It can be difficult integrating people in your life when you have children because you want to make sure they'll be there for the long haul rather than someone who will be in & out of your child's life.

Do the children attend church with you on Sunday @Virgiene? If so then maybe he is comfortable like Daron said. If not, then I stand by what I initially posted.

I'm just not texting/ calling someone everyday for the heck of it. That's draining to me.
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Much appreciated Capri-sun?☺️.. you know my story very well and I don't know why until now i can't find the answers to my questions... maybe until the day he will tell me right on my face or not?..

We don't go to church with his kids .Only him and I.

He do that to me the texting and the calling no matter what even for a few minutes just to hear from me.
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by Capri-sun
Sorry if I'm asking too many questions, I'm just trying to cover what seems to get asked the most.


do you like or dislike women to chase?

I don't mind it. Have to be subtle with it though- as in just enough for me to get the hint... Then we will get to chase each other!

-if a woman expresses her feelings to you & they aren't reciprocated on your end, what is your reaction?

If she feels more strongly for me than I do for her, I will tell her either when I sense it or she says it. I will let her know that I don't feel that way. If she wants to stay and keep working on it I will. But if I feel this dynamic is troubling her too much or not making her happy- then I will end it. If I know the connection isn't there, then I will just end it right away.

-how would you describe sex with a cap male?

For me- we can go as far as you are comfortable with... and when we get to the point I'll try to push the envelope just a little more. I am to please so don't be shy about what you need/ want. The bed is a no judgment zone lol. Also, be prepared to have more than 1 round. Oh, and I bite.

-What is your favorite sexual position?

Depends on the woman and the situation. But generally with her lying on her stomach.

-what is the most romantic thing you've done for someone?

There was this restaurant my ex was dying to try. The only problem is that they don't take reservations. So, one day,I just decided I was going to make this happen for her. So we parted after brunch and she went to run some errands. When she asked what we were doing for dinner. I told her to just me me at the cross streets (she didn't know that these were the ones for the place). So I got there about 2 hours early and waited... in the cold. She got there about about 20mins before we got seated, and asked which place. I said Rose's. She said "no I don't want to wait in that line, its too cold". I told her "walk to the front of it- I am waiting for you there".

-if you say you're done, we can be friends, it's over...do you stand by that or do you ever change your mind?

I don't stay friends once its over. If we are still in contact, its because I haven't shut that door yet and I am still willing to work things out. If I love you, I will keep it open until I fall for someone else.

-if a cap man goes cold, is there anything the woman can do to thaw you or the situation out & get things back on track & moving in a forward direction?

If we are still together- just get close to me physically. Don't pry and don't try to force a conversation. If you need to say your piece- do so but don't demand a response. I will respond, but I likely just processing what the hell is going on. Scold me if you must. Just make sure a gesture of love follows that up. That will def make me feel more comfortable to thaw things cause I know you are coming from a place of love and you aren't just angry.
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by daron76
You have questions, we'll try to have answers. No question is too strange or taboo. 🙂
Do you guys only go for pretty girls? How important are looks to you?

If the girl is more educated and knowledgeable than you...would that be intimidating?
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Do you guys only go for pretty girls? How important are looks to you?

Looks are important. But everyone has different standards. All she has to do is be pretty to me- couldn't care less about how others see her.

If the girl is more educated and knowledgeable than you...would that be intimidating?

No, not at all. I love to learn. If she can teach me something then that is a HUGE plus.
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lisabeth
@lisabethur8
13 Years50,000+ Posts

Comments: 4373 · Posts: 50653 · Topics: 564
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by Gemitati
Why are so lazy! Bed included...
No offense. He doesn't love you. Imo he checked out a long time ago. Far from lazy in bed when truly interested.
He also doesn't like walls, floor, home, ceiling...he is lazy period!

He loves TV but I don't see him having sex with it...
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I think gem is trolling. lol
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by Gemitati
Why are so lazy! Bed included...
No offense. He doesn't love you. Imo he checked out a long time ago. Far from lazy in bed when truly interested.
He also doesn't like walls, floor, home, ceiling...he is lazy period!

He loves TV but I don't see him having sex with it...

Why'd you marry a lazy man if you don't like lazy?

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It's been a while...I don't remember!
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Gemitati
@Gemitati
10 Years25,000+ Posts

Comments: 2057 · Posts: 38091 · Topics: 1026
Posted by lisabethur8
Posted by Gemitati
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by Gemitati
Why are so lazy! Bed included...
No offense. He doesn't love you. Imo he checked out a long time ago. Far from lazy in bed when truly interested.
He also doesn't like walls, floor, home, ceiling...he is lazy period!

He loves TV but I don't see him having sex with it...
I think gem is trolling. lol
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I didn't know if I did...
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by SamCancerGirl
What's the best way to get your attention after a disagreement?

If your mind is made up - what can someone do to seduce you into changing it?



I think daron touched on this one from his perspective, get physically close, touching, kissing, etc.

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Yes, thank you @capr-sun



If your mind is made up - what can someone do to seduce you into changing it?

Depends on what the topic is and the connection I have with her. If I love her, she will always have my attention.
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by Kryssieshanelle
What if u started off as a FWB with a cap and now ur talking about the future. Conversations about whether or not y'all would be a good match for each other. What they find attractive about u. Expectations when in a relationship. I'm asking him questions and he's answering and engaging with no hesitation. He also flat out said he thinks we would be good together but thinks that because I'm very opinionated that it may be a problem. He also "TOLD me I'm not ready for a relationship because I have too much going on. What does all this mean? Is he interested or just conversating?
Just conversing-- see the comment where he tells you that YOU aren't ready for a relationship. That's called projecting. Cause honestly, he doesn't known what the hell you are or are not ready for. Don't fall for that BS. Why do I say that? I did that more than once in my younger days. I now know that is manipulative and an all around asshat thing to do to someone.

Also, I don't date my fwb's. They have that status for a reason.
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by Capri-sun
Ideal timeline for sex? Does sex too soon remove a woman from serious romantic potential?

Are cap men loyal (faithful) when in a committed relationship?
Ideal timeline for sex?

No time line. If it feels right go for it. Just remember, the sooner it happens- the less feelings are involved.



Are cap men loyal (faithful) when in a committed relationship?

Yes and no. Not trying to sit the fence here, but there is a very important (for me at least) distinction to be made.

If I am committed and see a future with this woman, then no I won't cheat.

If I am in a relationship just cause its comfortable- then yes I have cheated in this situation.

If our relationship is toxic- like she cheated or we just don't get along, lots of fighting and not spending time together- then yes, I have cheated in this situation
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever been mildly depressed? How did you overcome this?
Sorry about that!!!

Have you ever been mildly depressed? How did you overcome this?

Yes, I have. What pulls me out of it is to make a plan to solve what ever problem is causing my depression. Then I cut out all distractions a focus on it until I have accomplished some measure of success. This does two things, keeps my mind of why I am depressed (and all those nasty thoughts) and gets me moving forward.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by daron76
Posted by pinkbird03
Have you ever been mildly depressed? How did you overcome this?
Sorry about that!!!

Have you ever been mildly depressed? How did you overcome this?

Yes, I have. What pulls me out of it is to make a plan to solve what ever problem is causing my depression. Then I cut out all distractions a focus on it until I have accomplished some measure of success. This does two things, keeps my mind of why I am depressed (and all those nasty thoughts) and gets me moving forward.
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No problem and thank you!! Can anyone help you overcome it? How can they help?

Also an unrelated question. Do you ever lie? What would make you lie? Or do you only say things that you mean? Are you generally honest?
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by daron76
Posted by pinkbird03


No problem and thank you!! Can anyone help you overcome it? How can they help?

Also an unrelated question. Do you ever lie? What would make you lie? Or do you only say things that you mean? Are you generally honest?
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Can anyone help you overcome it? How can they help?

Yes, if I'm luck enough to have a supportive and understanding GF, then she could immensely helpful. Just be there, your presence is enough to keep my spirits up.

Also an unrelated question. Do you ever lie? What would make you lie? Or do you only say things that you mean? Are you generally honest?

Lol, Loaded question eh? Yes of course I have, still do occasionally. Don't we all?!?! I guess you mean lie to my GF? Ummm I try not to. I guess the times it happens most is when I am trying to avoid an argument that I have no interest in having.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by daron76
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by daron76
Posted by pinkbird03


No problem and thank you!! Can anyone help you overcome it? How can they help?

Also an unrelated question. Do you ever lie? What would make you lie? Or do you only say things that you mean? Are you generally honest?
Can anyone help you overcome it? How can they help?

Yes, if I'm luck enough to have a supportive and understanding GF, then she could immensely helpful. Just be there, your presence is enough to keep my spirits up.

Also an unrelated question. Do you ever lie? What would make you lie? Or do you only say things that you mean? Are you generally honest?

Lol, Loaded question eh? Yes of course I have, still do occasionally. Don't we all?!?! I guess you mean lie to my GF? Ummm I try not to. I guess the times it happens most is when I am trying to avoid an argument that I have no interest in having.
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lol I have too many questions every day! I feel like my relationship is constantly changing and slowly growing one way or another.

I'm not concerned about lying. I'm more so just confused and analyzing some of the things he says in an attempt to discover how he feels without asking.
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by Capri-sun
How do cap men feel about cap women? Is it a sisterly connection? Do you feel you understand and can relate and read them easily? Is it like talking to yourself?
How do cap men feel about cap women?

So my experience is with cap women has been this; even with the ones that I have been attracted to- it feels like spending time with an old friend. Even if we just met each other. However, there hasn't been that romantic spark.
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daron76
@daron76
9 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 3 · Posts: 621 · Topics: 14
Posted by pinkbird03
Here's a great question!! Why do girls go crazy over cap men?
lol I honestly don't know. I have had only 1 lady (that I know of ) actually go crazy over me... and that's because she was already pretty crazy to begin with. I guess its cause there are great rewards for those willing to put in the work (and, lets be honest-- the wait) to get it?!?!? I dunno. The ladies should answer this one 🙂
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by daron76
Posted by pinkbird03
Here's a great question!! Why do girls go crazy over cap men?
lol I honestly don't know. I have had only 1 lady (that I know of ) actually go crazy over me... and that's because she was already pretty crazy to begin with. I guess its cause there are great rewards for those willing to put in the work (and, lets be honest-- the wait) to get it?!?!? I dunno. The ladies should answer this one 🙂
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Definitely the wait and the chase. The desire becomes stronger and stronger.
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DeceNixie
@DeceNixie
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 3
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Capri-sun
How do cap men feel about cap women? Is it a sisterly connection? Do you feel you understand and can relate and read them easily? Is it like talking to yourself?
Lol. I'm waiting to hear about this one.
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From my experience I find that there's a connection between cap me and a cap girl instantly but I never feel like it's anything more than a friendship. For whatever reason I see them as a big sister even when they are younger. I used to know two chicks one was older than I was and the other younger, they were cousins, and it was an instant connection with both. I would hang out with each one individually and we would talk for hours but once again I never felt it was romantic between us or even lust. There's this high respect for one another. I guess you can look at it like a brother sister relationship. Maybe that's just me but most if not all the cap girls I've met have been just friends. As far as is it like talking to myself no never, people differ greatly in what they like and don't like.
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DeceNixie
@DeceNixie
9 Years

Comments: 0 · Posts: 21 · Topics: 3
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by DeceNixie
Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
Posted by Capri-sun
How do cap men feel about cap women? Is it a sisterly connection? Do you feel you understand and can relate and read them easily? Is it like talking to yourself?
Lol. I'm waiting to hear about this one.
From my experience I find that there's a connection between cap me and a cap girl instantly but I never feel like it's anything more than a friendship. For whatever reason I see them as a big sister even when they are younger. I used to know two chicks one was older than I was and the other younger, they were cousins, and it was an instant connection with both. I would hang out with each one individually and we would talk for hours but once again I never felt it was romantic between us or even lust. There's this high respect for one another. I guess you can look at it like a brother sister relationship. Maybe that's just me but most if not all the cap girls I've met have been just friends. As far as is it like talking to myself no never, people differ greatly in what they like and don't like.
Thanks Dixie! I'm my experience cap men usually come on too strong...the third decan caps. I recently decided to give one cap a chance. I must say he's very creative with words. Lol.

He's called me beautiful, pretty lady, future wife, princess...all in just a few weeks of knowing me. I thought he was just a flirt until a mutual friend told me how obsessed he is with me.

I'm definitely enjoying the attention. He's refined, good looking, successful, mature. Our interests are similar too. I think you can tell I'm happy. Lol.
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Haha that's awesome. We are huge flirts, I think caps live in extremes we either go all in or are sluggish as hell. It seems your dude is the all in type, I'm surprised you don't feel he came on strong.



In any case keep him on his toes that way you'll keep getting that attention you're likeing 😄.

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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Here's a great question!! Why do girls go crazy over cap men?
Not sure. My best guess... loyalty, commitment, stability, we're unique in general.
I feel addicted now. Without the loyalty, commitment, and stability.

1. Because he's your opposite

2. Because we're different

click to expand


Opposite?
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Here's a great question!! Why do girls go crazy over cap men?
Not sure. My best guess... loyalty, commitment, stability, we're unique in general.
I feel addicted now. Without the loyalty, commitment, and stability.

1. Because he's your opposite

2. Because we're different



Opposite?



Cancer - Capricorn axis. Opposite zodiac signs

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That will make me addicted? This feeling is getting stronger. Doesn't matter if I distance myself or not.
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SamCancerGirl
@SamCancerGirl
13 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 732 · Topics: 18
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Here's a great question!! Why do girls go crazy over cap men?
Not sure. My best guess... loyalty, commitment, stability, we're unique in general.
I feel addicted now. Without the loyalty, commitment, and stability.

1. Because he's your opposite

2. Because we're different

click to expand

Caps are addicted to cancer ladies.

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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Here's a great question!! Why do girls go crazy over cap men?
Not sure. My best guess... loyalty, commitment, stability, we're unique in general.
I feel addicted now. Without the loyalty, commitment, and stability.

1. Because he's your opposite

2. Because we're different



Opposite?



Cancer - Capricorn axis. Opposite zodiac signs


That will make me addicted? This feeling is getting stronger. Doesn't matter if I distance myself or not.

I have no idea...I tease my sexual partners with that..."you'll get addicted" 😆 😛

Hopefully he'll come around for you and it will be a good addiction for you both 🙂

click to expand

Hopefully! Do you think he knows what he's doing to me?
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Capri-sun
Posted by pinkbird03
Posted by Capri-sun
@pinkbird03 where'd you say his venus is again?
Aquarius. We've gotten closer. Better communication. Talked about doing a variety of things together sometime soon, but haven't done any of it yet.
I hear they like their lovers to develop from friendship so I think you're on the right track.
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Maybe. I sense mixed signals. I don't want to get my hopes high. All I know is i need to find a way to control myself. Control my addiction and control this feeling that's inside me lately.
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Pink Bird
@pinkbird03
9 Years5,000+ Posts

Comments: 975 · Posts: 5791 · Topics: 44
Posted by Jumpingpancake
Posted by pinkbird03
@jumpingpancake how's your relationship?
Oh what can I say about my cappy man. He's a great boyfriend but he's also a puzzle I can't solve. We have a bit of a history where he has hurt me but I've forgiven him for it. We're starting over and he keeps talking future plans with me which from what I understand, it means he wants to have a serious relationship with me. That's what I want too. I like him a lot and from what I can tell he does too. I just worry about him going cold on me again or pushing me away because he's scared of how he feels for me (his words). I definitely see a thriving future together. I'm crazy for that cappy. Lol.
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Puzzle is a good way to describe them!! Seems positive! Do you know what he's afraid of?