Capricorn man lost his job, are we doomed? Help please, any thought are appreciated!

Hey Everyone,

Sorry this is long, I just want to help my cappy so bad.

My cappy and I have been dating for 8 months, he's passionate, a hardworker, reserved, a gentlemen and has the biggest heart. Unfortunately I think some of these qualities have gotten him taken advantage of in the past, especially with jobs. He's worked very hard only to not get any progress in various jobs hes had. He was recently laid off of his construction job, he was hoping to start a new business in owning a deli (food is his real passion), unfortunately the business deal went sour and now he's adrift.

This is certainly taking it's toll on him and our relationship. He's putting many phone calls out for work and has found odd jobs here and there but nothing permanent. We were supposed to be planning our first trip in the spring and talked about moving in together but not all thoughts of planning have come to a direct stop.

Im trying to be supportive and help push him through this though he is able to see that this is stressing me out as well. He said he feels terrible he wont be able to give me the things he thinks I deserve (ring, marriage, house, golden retriever...). He wants to be with me, I can hear it in his voice, he just doesnt know how to at this point in his position. He said "you are the best things that has ever happened to me and I understand you must feel you won't get the life you want and deserve, Im not a bad man and I wont try and keep you with me waiting for something we dont know will happen"....

His words broke my heart, he really is such a good man.

With everything thats been said I am broken, I am broken because I am torn by my love for him, my wants for his happiness, which means success, our relationship, and my desire to have a happy fulfilled life.



-Cappies, surely you must know, what is he feeling?

-How can I help him through this

-Has anyone ever experienced this in a newer relationship?

Get a job golddigger.

Thank you for your thoughts! You're right, cappy men love to work. I'm not asking for anything from him, I could never with what he's going through. He know's I wont ask for anything which is making him feel worse. Though this is why our relationship is strained, I feel guilty just being his girlfriend. I love him very much, though I'm not sure if it would benefit our situation If I wasn't part of the equation. My thoughts were that he wouldnt have to feel the pressure of trying to maintain our relationship if his only priority was to focus on making himself happy by finding his calling in work? Does having me around stress him out more?

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by MoonyEYES88
Thank you for your thoughts! You're right, cappy men love to work. I'm not asking for anything from him, I could never with what he's going through. He know's I wont ask for anything which is making him feel worse. Though this is why our relationship is strained, I feel guilty just being his girlfriend. I love him very much, though I'm not sure if it would benefit our situation If I wasn't part of the equation. My thoughts were that he wouldnt have to feel the pressure of trying to maintain our relationship if his only priority was to focus on making himself happy by finding his calling in work? Does having me around stress him out more?

Why would you feel guilty?

There shouldn't be pressure of him trying to maintain your relationship if a) you're committed to him & b) supportive

Having you around should not stress him out more unless you're not being understanding/ supportive.

Would you tell your best friends "hey let's stop being friends so you can focus on making yourself happy in your work life? Or would you be there for him/her? Same applies to this situation (or it should anyways imo)

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I feel guilty because I'm being supportive and acting as if everything is fine, he can see right through me, he's noticing this stressing me out. In all honesty it does, instability in work or finances gives me anxiety. Im working, and going to school and we look forward to doing fun things when I get a break from those. He's my reward 🙂 He knows this, this is why I think he stresses more, he wants to provide but is not in the position where he can.

My Cappy lost his job too. He's holding together well on the external but I know its killing him.

I just try to make him smile and give him lots of kisses and hugs.

Posted by Librasetting
Not sure where you live but there's tons of jobs everywhere and I work with a cap and he's kinda one big contradiction says he wants to work and make money but will only work 4days because of school or he'll take one or two days off then he'll bitch about not having money lol. There's also times where he's came in before his schedule time and has also stayed passed his schedule time as well. Sooo that's just boggles my mind it kinda of remind me of a woman lol

lol "i'll work under my own terms." thats a nice concept if one has the luxury of being able to afford it. We live in NJ and it is very expensive to live here, though he still lives at home so at least he doesnt have to worry about rent though at this point being able to build ourselves as a couple so we can live together is very unlikely. Something that really bothered me during our conversation, was when he said "this is out of my control." That comment made me so annoyed inside though I bit my tongue. Everyones destiny is in there own control isnt it?....or I'm just a control freak and yea well thats how that goes lol.

"Something that really bothered me during our conversation, was when he said "this is out of my control." That comment made me so annoyed inside though I bit my tongue. Everyones destiny is in there own control isnt it?."

I get that feeling a lot...that things are out of my control, especially when it comes to work and Im dependent on others for a job. Id be pissed, and in a foul mood...and we are not the best at putting on a happy face and selling ourselves for another position under the stress. I guess deep down its being dependant that gives some of us that mindset, so it becomes a mental and emotional beast we have to battle, most likely uneccessarily....but its the I other side of being a control freak.

I mean just like that...your job and security is taken away from you, from someone else. Then you gotta go to someone else to get your security back. I mean how much control do you really have?

*sigh* I don't like working for people.

Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
@MooneyEYES88 Whatever you do, don't pity him! That is the worst thing someone can do.

Just treat him like you would normally. If you can help him in any way, do that. Don't make a big deal out of it. You should remember that this is just a phase, and like everything else in life, this too shall pass.

Don't judge him for anything he says or does. He's going through a tough time. You'll have to be patient and understanding.

Caps tend to stress a lot and when dealing with problems, our focus can shift internally, shutting others out. But that's what makes us strong. We can be very persevering.

Thank you for your kind words, and never will I pity someone, I agree with you that it is the worst thing, I find it more destructive. Plus thats what parents are for right? Anyways, I spoke with my cappy a couple hours ago, we are both at a stale mate. Both of us know that seperating is the right thing for right now but neither of us wants to be the one to pull the plug. He was sobbing on the phone and it's heart breaking. He is so disappointed in himself for not being able to be the man he should be and he's kicking his own ass right now. I tried to by sympathetic because he is a very good person, the best, regardless of this factor. We didnt end the conversation with any decision, we simply ended it with a "we are not ready to talk to one another." I'm sorting things out in my head, and I cant imagine whats going on in his. His words and the way he said them has already left an imprint on my mind, I can hear him saying them over and over again. He poured his heart and soul out in that conversation. 😭

Posted by CAPRILICIOUS

Posted by MoonyEYES88

Posted by CAPRILICIOUS
@MooneyEYES88 Whatever you do, don't pity him! That is the worst thing someone can do.

Just treat him like you would normally. If you can help him in any way, do that. Don't make a big deal out of it. You should remember that this is just a phase, and like everything else in life, this too shall pass.

Don't judge him for anything he says or does. He's going through a tough time. You'll have to be patient and understanding.

Caps tend to stress a lot and when dealing with problems, our focus can shift internally, shutting others out. But that's what makes us strong. We can be very persevering.

Thank you for your kind words, and never will I pity someone, I agree with you that it is the worst thing, I find it more destructive. Plus thats what parents are for right? Anyways, I spoke with my cappy a couple hours ago, we are both at a stale mate. Both of us know that seperating is the right thing for right now but neither of us wants to be the one to pull the plug. He was sobbing on the phone and it's heart breaking. He is so disappointed in himself for not being able to be the man he should be and he's kicking his own ass right now. I tried to by sympathetic because he is a very good person, the best, regardless of this factor. We didnt end the conversation with any decision, we simply ended it with a "we are not ready to talk to one another." I'm sorting things out in my head, and I cant imagine whats going on in his. His words and the way he said them has already left an imprint on my mind, I can hear him saying them over and over again. He poured his heart and soul out in that conversation. 😭

Jobs will come and go. I don't understand fretting over them so much, unless you are in a tight spot financially.

The bond between two people matters more than anything else. What if you guys were married? Would you consider ending your marriage over such a trivial matter?

When I'm going through a tough time, sympathy is the last thing I need. What I really need is for the other person to have faith in me.

I hope you guys are able to overcome this small hurdle, especially since you care so much about each other.

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Thank you so much! I spoke to my cappy and he said he doesnt want to lose me, all he needs from me is to be by his side and love him, he'll take care of the rest.

So I'm going to do just that, be his anchor. I guess you're right, its just temporary, only time will tell how the rest goes. Though I want him to put most of his focus into himself right now, It is so hard to walk away from him. Despite the anxiety I have over the unknown, I just cant walk away from him lol. He is chocolate and Im the fat kid. We are so opposites in every aspect. Im type A, he's type B, somehow this is working.