Capricorns & Cancers: Am I the only one?

That doesn't understand water signs?

I am at a loss as to HOW the HELL does someone love someone that emotionally, verballylly and physically abuse someone and they still love them.

My cancer friend has been married and has gone through this with her husband. I am at a loss when she says she still loves him. He recently moved out. GOOD THING. She is greiving over the end of the marriage. Understandable that it came to an end. However, she says her head is over it, but her heart doesn't want to let it go.

I don't get it. The FIRST instance of physical abuse I would be done. Do understand the second chance. But after the SECOND instance.... she kicked him out, but still loves him and cares for him.

Me? He would by bye bye and I wouldn't care what he was doing or living or how lonely he was or how poor he was or how he was surving.

Am I that cold or do I have a point?

You're not cold. I don't get water signs either, altho married to a crab.

back in dev, cap broke up with cancer. this month cap wants cancer back but cancer doesn't want him back. Your cancer friend would do the same, just give her time.

^ dev = dec

They have a hard time letting go.
Maybe she's only thinking about the good part of him or is sad about the end of the marriage?

At least she kicked him out

I responded on the Cancer board. Check it out.

Posted by PVandJellay
This behavior isn't exclusive to water signs. It happens to women of every element, even Caps. Some people just get lost in their emotions and lose reason.

I'm a Pisces, but I don't suffer fools long. Hit me once, and if you make it out my home ALIVE, consider yourself lucky and don't come back.

The notion that this is exclusive to water signs is absurd, especially when I've seen plenty earth sign women trying to wrap their heads around their own emotional damage.

No it doesn't make you cold it just makes you a person with a healthy emotional maturity.

on a side note its nice to be able to just lose reason in the feels, if its safe and done responsibly, That could be a water sign thing, don't know I only speak for myself, but I rarely get that deeply into it for anyone, and If I see the person is an "abuser" they really don't make it that far.

You know Ray Rice girl is a Capricorn. Its not a water sign thing at all, some women just go through this. You never know if the woman feels guilt for whatever reason either.

Posted by truecap
That doesn't understand water signs?

I am at a loss as to HOW the HELL does someone love someone that emotionally, verballylly and physically abuse someone and they still love them.

My cancer friend has been married and has gone through this with her husband. I am at a loss when she says she still loves him. He recently moved out. GOOD THING. She is greiving over the end of the marriage. Understandable that it came to an end. However, she says her head is over it, but her heart doesn't want to let it go.

I don't get it. The FIRST instance of physical abuse I would be done. Do understand the second chance. But after the SECOND instance.... she kicked him out, but still loves him and cares for him.

Me? He would by bye bye and I wouldn't care what he was doing or living or how lonely he was or how poor he was or how he was surving.

Am I that cold or do I have a point?

Cancer and Cap are simply opposites.

I also do the same thing with virgos, being more critical or cold in some viewpoints.

Some girls like abuse.. I find it odd and a funny fetishes, but realistically.. these girls get off by it lololol. To each his own, we can voice our opinions but it's her marriage. What did she do for him to abuse her? That's what I want to know. People always assume just because a man puts his hands on a woman it's the end of the world. Did she provoke him? Everyone has bones in the closet. There's other forms of abuse that we All here in this dxp know, put up with.. She's married, it's not that easy letting go, regardless of what she did to her.

Posted by LadyOfRebirth
I don't get why the cancer is seen as a bad person for grieving over what happened and still loving him.

As long as they're done, what is it to you how she processes her feelings? Even if it wasn't willing, she is divorcing this man and that's all that SHOULD matter.

Congratulations that you're able to detach logic from your feelings, but not everyone is like that. And it's only human, so rather than being on your high horse seeking validation..

A true friend would stand by their friend and understand, rather than judge.

I'm not judging her. I just don't understand.

Posted by unknown2u
There are hundreds of studies on this topic, I have read a few in my career and I'm sure there will be more to come. Without boring you with all the details of these studies, I??ll just summarize it for you with the paragraph below.

Our culture is quick to believe that the victim is to blame for their abuse when they choose to stay. Sadly, even the abuse start to believe the explanation. However victim-blaming is dangerous and the reality of abuse is far more complex. You see in all walks of life, it does not respect gender, education, social class or even sun sign. But making the abused a scapegoat for our own ignorance won't change any of this. Only educating ourselves so that we can better help the victim will.

Not blaming. Just trying to understand. I can't wrap my head around it.

I'm proud of her for kicking him out. That took a lot of strength. They were married almost two years and his behavior started within the first month. She has a good support system and we are all here for her with encouragement and love.

From my experience in a Cap/Cancer relationship, the Cancer can develop ideas/ideals that very often to do match the reality of the situation.

Thank you! She's very dear to me and I'm trying my best. 🙂

Trying my best to understand her feelings.

Posted by CluelessCancer

Posted by truecap
Thank you! She's very dear to me and I'm trying my best. 🙂

I really respect you alot, but this statement really irked me.

you're worried more about how you would handle things instead of your friend


trying your best? Maybe try a little harder to be a human being and not the typical cardboard

click to expand

See my Cancer take above.

I present exhibit A. 🙂

Thread backfired... Yes I've seen and known plenty of women, Cap women at that stay in abusive situations and relationships with men. So it's not exclusive to water sign women. And to think this thread is about a "friend", if she left the situation why is it a bother? Many women still love an ex, even if it is over and they'll never be with him again. It could have bitter, hurtful feelings in it but you still loved that person at one point. Even as a A Capricorn woman I just know you aren't that logical or detached as you try to make yourself from seeing this person's point of view. But it might be a flaw of your sign as I've seen this with some of you guys before, can never see outside of yourselves. Doom for any kind of relationship.

Posted by truecap
That doesn't understand water signs?

I am at a loss as to HOW the HELL does someone love someone that emotionally, verballylly and physically abuse someone and they still love them.

My cancer friend has been married and has gone through this with her husband. I am at a loss when she says she still loves him. He recently moved out. GOOD THING. She is greiving over the end of the marriage. Understandable that it came to an end. However, she says her head is over it, but her heart doesn't want to let it go.

I don't get it. The FIRST instance of physical abuse I would be done. Do understand the second chance. But after the SECOND instance.... she kicked him out, but still loves him and cares for him.

Me? He would by bye bye and I wouldn't care what he was doing or living or how lonely he was or how poor he was or how he was surving.

Am I that cold or do I have a point?

We are very loyal and don't give up easily.....

We just ignore the emotional outbreaks and continue loving them regardless

So many say that cancers tend to be able to see the good in people. But sometimes only looking for the good blocks the ability to see the negative. Like, they can't see the forest for the trees, can't see the big picture for the little details. Caps are good about seeing the big picture. Perhaps this difference is what is frustrating...

She's doing much better now. They seperated and she's decided she doesn't want him back, but says she still loves him. At least when she finally lets go, she will let go for good.