Ok now what?

So after a few days of just a couple of very matter-of-fact texts a day, I decided to pour my heart out in an email, really focusing on respecting him and his needs and sharing mine...

It was quite poetic as well (the romantic in me took over).

I said that if this was the end of the road for him I wished him nothing but happiness and magic, but if he wants to truly give this a try then I do need a connection, I do need the playfulness and being present in this discovery.

It was a long email...but I had to just send it...

He replied almost immediately with "I'll call you tonight"...and he did...

He said what I wrote was beautiful and that is not him, not being present, but it has been so inanely busy at work that he didn't have time for anything else.

He said he wanted to make an effort to see me this week...he agreed with everything I said...

I told him I'm not here to rush anything, but just to walk side by side and see where this goes...I just need the communication open.

I don't believe distance separates people...but silence does...

He agreed.

The day after there was a bit more interaction...nothing too major...but I made an effort as well to be more present.

Last text was around 2 pm...and that was it...

Today I got a text at 12:30 saying "Have a little time before another meeting today to say hi 😉 "...I didn't reply...

Is this a normal behavior for a Cap? To just be very present at the beginning and then get lost like this?

What would make him truly come around? Me not be that responsive?

I despise games...but is that what actually turn you on?

Not to be available?

Any thoughts are very appreciate it...

Hope you're all well

From my personal experience with a Cap. At first when my Cappy went quiet I'd go into overdrive and try to talk or fix him and this made him distance more. Over time, patience and just understanding him, I give him his space. I check in occasionally to say I'm thinking of him as he can and does get consumed at work. When things are tense he likes to deal with it on his own and not burden others while he works through it. In this phase I go about what I love doing, the time passes quick and his phase does too. I actually find his quiet time energises the relationship, it keeps it fresh and exciting. I wouldn't go quiet on him personally...give him space and just let him know now and then he is on your mind and you there for him. Stability is the key, patience and let him come back without being mad. It's how they deal with stress, work or family matters. They need recharge time ☺

Posted by Miscorpion
From my personal experience with a Cap. At first when my Cappy went quiet I'd go into overdrive and try to talk or fix him and this made him distance more. Over time, patience and just understanding him, I give him his space. I check in occasionally to say I'm thinking of him as he can and does get consumed at work. When things are tense he likes to deal with it on his own and not burden others while he works through it. In this phase I go about what I love doing, the time passes quick and his phase does too. I actually find his quiet time energises the relationship, it keeps it fresh and exciting. I wouldn't go quiet on him personally...give him space and just let him know now and then he is on your mind and you there for him. Stability is the key, patience and let him come back without being mad. It's how they deal with stress, work or family matters. They need recharge time ☺

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm trying to let me initiate and give him space. It's hard cos the scared part in me questions if he's really into me or not...but I'm gonna give him more time...

Posted by leowww
Now what?

Patience.

You said your piece & he knows how you feel. Nothing else you can do but wait and see if his actions will back up his words.

Don't play games just have a life, if you like this guy let him be and if you feel you're always the one initiating contact or trying at all... You have your answer.

Thank you for your words and being straight forward for me...I appreciate it and I needed to hear it

Posted by Capri-sun
Is this a normal behavior for a Cap?

It can be, yes.

To just be very present at the beginning and then get lost like this?

Yes it's possible.

What would make him truly come around?

Less busy at work

Me not be that responsive?

No.

I despise games...but is that what actually turn you on?

No.

Not to be available?

No.

Thank you again for your words! He did text back again in the afternoon, just for a few...I know I need much more...but I'm trying to give him space...

Posted by Leolady73

Posted by Miscorpion
From my personal experience with a Cap. At first when my Cappy went quiet I'd go into overdrive and try to talk or fix him and this made him distance more. Over time, patience and just understanding him, I give him his space. I check in occasionally to say I'm thinking of him as he can and does get consumed at work. When things are tense he likes to deal with it on his own and not burden others while he works through it. In this phase I go about what I love doing, the time passes quick and his phase does too. I actually find his quiet time energises the relationship, it keeps it fresh and exciting. I wouldn't go quiet on him personally...give him space and just let him know now and then he is on your mind and you there for him. Stability is the key, patience and let him come back without being mad. It's how they deal with stress, work or family matters. They need recharge time ☺

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm trying to let me initiate and give him space. It's hard cos the scared part in me questions if he's really into me or not...but I'm gonna give him more time...

click to expand

I felt that too, and sometimes I still can. You feel vulnerable with your heart, they are worth it. Risk it if your feelings run deep, if your thinking of them...reach out. I don't let my head run the show or I would have missed an amazing person. Their actions tell you all, not so much texting. Hang in there if your heart desires it's truely worth every bump in the road ☺

Posted by Miscorpion

Posted by Leolady73

Posted by Miscorpion
From my personal experience with a Cap. At first when my Cappy went quiet I'd go into overdrive and try to talk or fix him and this made him distance more. Over time, patience and just understanding him, I give him his space. I check in occasionally to say I'm thinking of him as he can and does get consumed at work. When things are tense he likes to deal with it on his own and not burden others while he works through it. In this phase I go about what I love doing, the time passes quick and his phase does too. I actually find his quiet time energises the relationship, it keeps it fresh and exciting. I wouldn't go quiet on him personally...give him space and just let him know now and then he is on your mind and you there for him. Stability is the key, patience and let him come back without being mad. It's how they deal with stress, work or family matters. They need recharge time ☺

Thank you so much for sharing! I'm trying to let me initiate and give him space. It's hard cos the scared part in me questions if he's really into me or not...but I'm gonna give him more time...

I felt that too, and sometimes I still can. You feel vulnerable with your heart, they are worth it. Risk it if your feelings run deep, if your thinking of them...reach out. I don't let my head run the show or I would have missed an amazing person. Their actions tell you all, not so much texting. Hang in there if your heart desires it's truely worth every bump in the road ☺

click to expand

Yes I'm trying to look for the actions right now...

Posted by Capri-sun

Posted by Leolady73

Posted by Capri-sun
Is this a normal behavior for a Cap?

It can be, yes.

To just be very present at the beginning and then get lost like this?

Yes it's possible.

What would make him truly come around?

Less busy at work

Me not be that responsive?

No.

I despise games...but is that what actually turn you on?

No.

Not to be available?

No.

Thank you again for your words! He did text back again in the afternoon, just for a few...I know I need much more...but I'm trying to give him space...

Sometimes people are just incompatible.

click to expand

I know...it's sad because I also believe right now we are all so scared of getting hurt that we run away before even trying...

Posted by MiZLeo
If he doesn't back his words then he is just leading you on. If you don't see him this week then you have your answer. If a guy is into you then he will make time for you no matter how busy he is at work.

Thank you for your answer! Yeah I feel the same...there was an exchange of texts today and I had to really breathe...I got to the point of saying 'you either wanna see me or not, it's that simple" he replied "I do wanna see you"...he keeps blaming how busy he is at work...but I work even 16 hours in a day...sooo yeah...I know what busy is and I could still see him...

I told him that I would move mountains if I wanted something...now it's up to him...

Definitely cap behavior. He likes you though. it's never going to be the most romantic relationship you ever had. But it will still be nice.

I've been close to a lot of Caps, even had a long-term relationship with one, but never knew any that were so busy with work that they had no time for anything else. They were hard workers. None of them were slouches. But none of them had absolutely no time for relationships or recreation. I'm talking both men and women.

If you really want to invest in someone, you will make the time for them. Maybe you can't make a ton of time for them, but you can fit them in somewhere.

Is that what people have a problem with? That was never a problem in my mind. I'm busy, too. I understand what it's like to have a lot going on and not much time to have fun, but I can always find time if I absolutely need to. Someone who expects more might not try to understand. Not everybody feels the same about the importance of a job.

But if you're barely getting any time at all with someone, you really need to look at the situation realistically. If you're important to that person, there must be a way he can give you a few hours here and there for dinner or whatever. It's mostly the effort you need to look for. Is there any on his end? I don't mean texts or calls. Those do not require a real investment of time.

If you just don't see it, lay it on the line. Tell him. If nothing changes or things just get worse, tell him it isn't working for you and maybe you'll be around if he decides to give the relationship a real shot.

My Cap guy and I have opposite schedules. He's even commented on how they suck. They probably won't change any time soon. That being said, some weeks I see him every night and others just 3. Lol we spend a lot of time together on opposite ends of the clock. We haven't been dating long either but we don't go a day without talking or more than 3 without seeing one another even when he is stressed.

Try being flexible to work yalls schedules together or suggest some convenient but oddly timed meet ups. 7:30am coffee, 2:30 am pizza, 5:00pm happy hour if yall both have a day off. My Cap is pretty spontaneous and when I go with it we have lots of fun on the fly. Nontraditional but it works.