the dumping garden (Page 26)

She is still in. Taking a stress test now, but she seems to feel okay.

Why in God's name do I "feel" when drunk? I don't "feel" otherwise...

*wants to shoot self*

Oh yeah, I already did that in the foot 😛

Technology sucks, drunk texting only came about with the advent of the cell phone...

On a positive note, I played last night... failed, but not miserably, had the birth month right. He was so damn earthy, but an Aqua. He was rather impressed I called his month of birth though 🙂

But ugh, his best friend died right out in front of the place two years ago, motorcycle accident. I was on the scene before the paramedics; the guy was in the middle of the road, his bike prob 50 feet or so from him, was not a pretty site... seeing death never is.

I find that I enjoy running my mouth with Leo men...both young and old. If only my Leo cousin didnt ruin it for them all....although he is faithful to his Libra. Hmn

I just learned something from this older Leo too. Talking to him reminds me how important communication is. I learned that from the last Leo too. Being a quiet Cap who is more focused on chemistry and the physical kind of overshadows something that I may possibly enjoy and miss more...communication. I dont love to talk, but I love to listen and learn, and even share some things.

im beyond irritated... beyond irritated

i'd like to just leave it at that.


and i want to take a second moment to thank myself for making this thread so i have a place to dump ambiguous shit like this.

*sigh*

You just figured out that boys are stupid— 😛

i third all that. ROAR!

I love that this thread has kept going for this long!


Brava, CreepyPants!

^^^ Creepy's statement

"the really, really stupid ones somehow manage to make me give them the benefit of the doubt.

then i feel stupid.

but they're stupid and smelly heads so it's ok."

Agrees. Back to hockey.

Thank you CreepyPants!

I really don't have anything to say.
but I wanted to pop in and say hi. 🙂

Realized last week that I was probably overwhelming an old (former?) friend of mine with my attempts for contact. Especially because she is dealing with the fact that she is leaving the country she currently lives in and probably with that her boyfriend which I know she loves a lot. But because she doesn't respond anymore I don't know if she appreciates my concern or is annoyed by it. 😢

It's hard because I also realized today that I really miss her a lot. We were really close, could talk about anything and I care deeply for her.

So I told her last week that I would stop contacting her for a while, giving her some time to deal with everything.

Let's just hope we can talk again when I contact her again somewhere in July or August. 🙂

Also, I am too damn fucking emotional today. Spacing out on the workfloor. Fuck it. Time to sleep and hope tomorrow is going to be better.

How do you fight your heart... and your mind at the same time?

You don't. You can shut down for a while but other than that it's always a battle that takes too much energy and leads nowhere.

Pick one, stick by it.

^^ true

Best to think about it first, then stick with the decision.

Damn. PMS

Taurus and i dilemma.

With him it seems to be sex before love
With me its more love before sex.

I think he cares for me, but i asked him a few questions the other day.

1. Are you seeing, sleeping with, interested in, hooking up with, curious about anyone else right now? His response...no, not at the moment.

2. Are you interested in dating anyone or are you enjoying the single life right now? His response...enjoying the single life.

3. If you were pursuing/dating anyone right now, you would let me know right? His response....of course, why not?

Basically, its not even sex before love...its more like Im not the girl he has in mind for a relationship. I didnt let him know his answers bothered me because above all i apprectiated his honesty. However, hes then said that he was sick and would feel better if i was laying next to him, he cant stop thinking about me, he wants me to make love to him, hes been having dreams etc. Im letting him know that i realize im not built to just have sex, and hes pushing forward with that, even after i told him he wouldnt see me for a while.

Thing is, I dont want him to start lying to me or thinking his honesty wasnt appreciated, and i surely dont want anything forced, but truthfully i cant relax if nothing beyond sex is really there. I thought i could and we almost went all the way recently, but its just not "right" clearly. Im stuck on what to do here, or to get thru to him i need more, or even to leave me alone about sex lol. I think my scorp venus helped create this dilemma. I subtly VERY subtly pushed for, or maybe moreso wanted the direction. I see now though im not relaxed enough for it that way.

Inana - don't settle for anything less than you deserve, desire and, most importantly, fulfills you 🙂

Advice I needed to come to grips with long ago (and only now am acknowledging within myself - not that I never necessarily sought such, I was just too willing to make compromises).

Some of us try to bend over backwards given our hopes and dreams, TRYING to MAKE them reality... and we are not as flexible as we used to be 😉

I think sometimes we need to just stop trying so hard...

*hugs*

How does that quote go? "People come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you know which one it is, you'll know what to do..."

Posted by lildol
Inana - don't settle for anything less than you deserve, desire and, most importantly, fulfills you 🙂

Advice I needed to come to grips with long ago (and only now am acknowledging within myself - not that I never necessarily sought such, I was just too willing to make compromises).

Some of us try to bend over backwards given our hopes and dreams, TRYING to MAKE them reality... and we are not as flexible as we used to be 😉

I think sometimes we need to just stop trying so hard...

*hugs*

Thanks for this advice, and I do find myself willing to compromise a lot....maybe because part of me IS scared to be his or anyone else's titled "girlfriend." My ideal situation would be us seeing eachother exclusively, not necessary labeling whats going on, but it continuosly growing in the same direction of course. For me, with labels, my mind think of expectations and it freaks me out maybe because Im a far from perfect perfectionist?...but I get from him that he doesn't see me in that "together" way at all and would drop me when "the one" for him came along. Im thinking okay, maybe we can just cuddle until we both meet someone right for us, but Im not sure thats a good idea either, especially since Im pretty sure the one for him would come sooner, and Id still end up with my feelings hurt.

When I said he wasnt going to see me for a while I was talking about something totally unrelated(my tooth broke at work Saturday) but when he changed the subject asking about my mom and sis, and brushed off me saying that....it kind of clicked for me that maybe keeping a physical distance isnt the worst thing. Before then I was considering chilling until whoever came along for us both. All in all I would be settling, and getting screwed over in the end.....like you say, trying to bend, mend, and make something happen...still clinging to hope. Thanks again!! Now lets see how good I am at being strong about this.

Crazy, my Virgo sis and her Taurus just went thru this exact same thing. I "should" know better smh lol.

Thanks for your reply CapriLady!

The more I sit and think about it, the more he probably was signaling. Like me, he is not going to outright say anything when it comes to feelings, and he told me years before that I dont get the hint lol.

it is weird he did say he would feel better if I was laying next to him...hes never said anything like that before, and even when he changed the subject to ask about my mom and sis he said how is mom and sis doing...not your mom and your sis, which was also different. also, after I asked him was he enjoying the single he said yeah, but he also asked why and what's up?

why couldnt I have been a water sign? there was other things said, even today, but ive been extra sarcastic. even his I want to have sex with you, changed to I want you to make love to me...I was still saying what im not going to be, which is used for sex. IF he was signaling anything it completely went over my head. maybe im reading into things now lol *sigh*

I mean, no. No it's not right to injure our loved ones with sarcasm 😢

Yes. Yes, it's ok to say we don't want to used for sex and for us to ask for what we need when calm.

Reality, I like him too much, he doesn't like me enough...

So, I'm doing my civic duty... young girls outside the bar. Some guy hitting on them. I shut him down, telling him they're just "kids". Go to my car. Next thing I know I have someone trying to beat on me through my car window telling me that was her friend's husband and how dare I offer to blow him to leave the kids alone. WTF? Lord, God almighty, I may be friendly, but I ain't THAT friendly!!! I called the cops, so did they. Apparently in my rush to GTFO I hit someone, hell for all I know they intentionally jumped in front of my car.

Great night 🙂

Oh, and one of the women who approached my car was the mother of one of the children. You would think she would have been thankful! Stupid fucking bitch!!! I should have just let the guy rape those kids!!

I was floored by what shit they told the officer (that he shared with me). *smh*

I have no one, he said they have 6 witnesses. Actually, no one else was outside. So where the eff do they come up with 6—

Life is good...

Why I'm bothering to get my nose checked is beyond me, not like I can press charges unless I want to be charged with assaulting someone with my vehicle.

I know, I'm to blame anyway. Should stay out of bars... not a prob at that joint as I'm kicked out now! Maybe for the best... biker bars are not a good place for a single chick to be hanging out anyway.

It was a woman who assaulted me. Not a guy... he just started the shit.

My Leeb son is such the lawyer... lol... he was going on about the legalities and it really being that guy's fault. I so wish he would go to law school. Leebs can make some damn good lawyers 😄

Talked to the officer in depth again tonight, I'm not going forward with charges despite my broken nose. Won't make a dif in principle and she'll file vehicular assault charges - although the officer believes that would not hold given the fact I was just trying to escape the situation. They claim to not have assaulted me, yet I'm the one with the bruising and broken nose, funny how that works. He's writing up the report just so that it is on file and that I was the one assaulted. My doctor made detailed notes as well, noting all the bruising and what not, clear finger marks on my left arm which corroborates my version.

Today felt stressful.

I hope you feel better! People are animals!

Thanks. My face just hurts is all, and maybe my ego a bit. I feel depressed. Disappointed in myself for allowing myself to end up in that position. I'm a professional and should not be going to joints like that anyway. The Aries is not too pleased with me.

Oh I'm sorry ur hurt can't believe they did that to u. Hope it gets fixed ok..

First of all I hate you bloody bitch. I care a damn about your sweet words. i dont need need them n neither you. Why dont you leave us alone. Dont get me wront I want you to exist and i want you to be fit and fine but thats about it. It would matter a lot to me honestly if you are not fine but lady please understand you are the most irritating person i have ever met. You have been the greatest interference in my life.

Clearly... I'm in a very very very aggressive phase of my social life.

It's an issue. My feelings weigh heavily on me and those they are for. My feelings literally stress people out.

😢

think i'll just go crawl in a hole now...

Posted by CreepyPants
Clearly... I'm in a very very very aggressive phase of my social life.

It's an issue. My feelings weigh heavily on me and those they are for. My feelings literally stress people out.

😢

think i'll just go crawl in a hole now...

Just don't forget to bring a glass, some ice and some good alcohol.
And make an appointment with the masseur afterwards for both of us.
I think we will both be a little stiff after being curled up in those for a while.

you too TigerCap?

i'll bring a couple glasses and ... ahhhh forget the glasses... i'll bring a couple bottles.



*shakes head*

and mercury is doing the moon walk til the 16th

*double face palm*

you know... AT LEAST I am what I find attractive in other people!!! not overwhelming, but I know what the frick I want, and damnit i go AFTER IT!

I'm a pouncer... I pounce. I'm a pouncer that needs to do some soul searching and re-calibrate and re-strategize 😛

chance... you may do whatever you like 😉

"never look down on someone unless...





















































































...you are pouncing on them! 😛

i think i was a vixen in a past life...

vix??en
/??viks??n/
Noun
-A female fox.
-A spiteful or quarrelsome woman

guitars sounded great... and i adore bob marley 🙂

Got home tonight and found my cat dead. My son's digging a grave. Waiting for the vet to call. An autopsy will be a lot of $ . But if it was something toxic I can't risk all the other cats. He smells funny. And it's not rot I'm smelling. He wasn't there this morning. I'm a total mess now. IDK what to do 😭

aww man, sorry to hear that lildol. 😢

lildol 😢 I'm so so sorry

keep your chin up... you've got a lot of love all around you.

Thanks guys, I appreciate the sentiment. I purchased a couple of butterfly bushes yesterday to plant above his grave. He'll have fun frolicking amongst them 🙂

Man, Lildol, you've had a hell of a time, lately. I'm sorry you're having to go through all this. Hang in there sweetie!

alright. that's it folks... good night!

I'm getting up at the ass crack of dawn to drive for hours on end. bed time is now.

HAPPY FOURTH!!!!!

don't set anything on fire!!! 🙂

Whoa it's ok.

i dont think i'm over him


:?


not sure... gonna think this one out...