Sharing personal information

In a dating scenario, how do you feel when someone shares something with others that you've confided in them about?

I mean like really personal things, like memories of things that have affected your whole life and the way you feel about the world around you. Specifically, bad things that have happened to you that you have barely breathed a word of to anyone.

How do you feel and what do you think of that person moving forward?

Entirely online? Don't really care as long as true identity is withheld.

Among family and friends offline? Death sentence.

I would feel exposed and like my trust is broken. Would be the end of that.

I don't really have any deep secrets like that.

So I wouldn't care too much.

We are all human and we all do human things.

However, if the person is talking about me in a bad and gossipy way, and I find that out, then it's over. You know , if he is a bad guy that degrades women's bodies, or calls women names, stuff like that.

I think I don't care too much about other things because my mom wanted everything to be a secret and stressed over it so much and felt shame over everything and wanted to create this perfect image of her so noone could gossip about her that I reached a point of realizing, does it even matter? Being transparent is less stress and more healthy for you 😄

It could be quite bothersome to me if they actually mention my name or my specifics but it is gonna be okay if they shared it in anonymity to both other ppl I know of or to strangers.

If they mention me specifically then I would be mostly disappointed and not going to let myself to share anything with them anymore or limit my interactions with them.

Bad things that happened to me that I haven’t told anyone else? I would call them out on it and ask the context in which they shared it. Can usually tell from how they react if it was malicious or not. Go from there.

i don't trust men that are seemingly 'too open' and who label themselves as a very milquetoast person.

they're usually the most manipulative.

Nah, some intimate things - are for private ears only. Divulging that - implies a breach of trust, which i might find/deem unforgivable.

Posted by Polyannanana
I don't really have any deep secrets like that.

So I wouldn't care too much.

We are all human and we all do human things.

However, if the person is talking about me in a bad and gossipy way, and I find that out, then it's over. You know , if he is a bad guy that degrades women's bodies, or calls women names, stuff like that.

I think I don't care too much about other things because my mom wanted everything to be a secret and stressed over it so much and felt shame over everything and wanted to create this perfect image of her so noone could gossip about her that I reached a point of realizing, does it even matter? Being transparent is less stress and more healthy for you 😄

Mocking women and putting them down is a huge red flag to me, even mocking people in general I feel, especially when it's a regular, every-day thing.

Honestly, I'm a very private person, that's just the way I am. I may tell a couple of my closest friends some personal things and that's it really. But I tend stay away from people who generally gossip about and degrade others. I just don't like unfriendly environments or trust people who do that.

Posted by Whynn
It could be quite bothersome to me if they actually mention my name or my specifics but it is gonna be okay if they shared it in anonymity to both other ppl I know of or to strangers.

If they mention me specifically then I would be mostly disappointed and not going to let myself to share anything with them anymore or limit my interactions with them.

Trust afterwards would be very difficult, if almost impossible, I see this too.

Posted by PilatesBod
Bad things that happened to me that I haven’t told anyone else? I would call them out on it and ask the context in which they shared it. Can usually tell from how they react if it was malicious or not. Go from there.

The context always matters doesn't it. If you're really close with this person and they genuinely didn't mean any harm and/ or had no malicious intentions then it might be worth speaking with them and trying to help them fix whatever it was that had them feel they had to do it in the first place. That's if they mean something to you.

Posted by virgoOPPP
i don't trust men that are seemingly 'too open' and who label themselves as a very milquetoast person.

they're usually the most manipulative.

It's interesting how you brought someone who might do this and this type of man together into the same context. Have you known a few people in such a way?

Milquetoast, I've never heard of this word before. Milk toast. (:

☠️Snitches get stitches☠️

… that how I feel about it.

The size of the stitch depends on the context and manner in which it was done, of course😮‍💨😮‍💨.

To me it's obviously inappropriate. Shouldn't even be questioned imo. But then again I usually need to hold the power in relationships.

Posted by FuelAirPropellant
To me it's obviously inappropriate. Shouldn't even be questioned imo. But then again I usually need to hold the power in relationships.

This is what I've always maintained. It's idealistic, isn't it.

I think people are way too precious about their lives.

What seems an enormous deal to them And really private and deep and personal to the next person, they would probably just shrug, and say, so what and forget about it a few days later.

Nobody's life is really that interesting.

Unless you've killed somebody hidden the body and told your friend about it... I'm sure it's really nothing that interesting or scandalous

Posted by clare
In a dating scenario, how do you feel when someone shares something with others that you've confided in them about?

I mean like really personal things, like memories of things that have affected your whole life and the way you feel about the world around you. Specifically, bad things that have happened to you that you have barely breathed a word of to anyone.

How do you feel and what do you think of that person moving forward?

I don't care about any of that stuff.

But here in my country people always want to know where you live. Or where you are from. And im sorry but for women that is dangerous.

I know why they are trying to find our your class or socio-ecomonic background or place my accent or whatever but i never give my town or address for the first few dates.

Nor where i work.

Its not safe.

So if i found out they told THAT to others i would be pissed.

I would think that person was foolish and bound to put me in vulnerability.

I would think they were lacking common sense.

Posted by virgoOPPP
i don't trust men that are seemingly 'too open' and who label themselves as a very milquetoast person.

they're usually the most manipulative.

Milquetoast ok there's a word I didn't know 😆

Well I 'm probably the one doing the telling, so can't rly complain

Posted by Wizardzzz

Posted by virgoOPPP
i don't trust men that are seemingly 'too open' and who label themselves as a very milquetoast person.

they're usually the most manipulative.

Milquetoast ok there's a word I didn't know 😆

click to expand

I looked up how its pronounced i now want to spell it milktoast.

It depends on the relationship, is it long term or more recent? I’d definitely feel uncomfortable, maybe a little wary of the person. But, I’d also be curious why they felt the need to share?

Posted by MyuMe84
I think people are way too precious about their lives.

What seems an enormous deal to them And really private and deep and personal to the next person, they would probably just shrug, and say, so what and forget about it a few days later.

Nobody's life is really that interesting.

Unless you've killed somebody hidden the body and told your friend about it... I'm sure it's really nothing that interesting or scandalous

'Their' is the operative word here. It's their life. The person sharing someone else's personal experiences may not find them meaningful, but to them they are meaningful, because it's their life.

'I mean like really personal things, like memories of things that have affected your whole life and the way you feel about the world around you. Specifically, bad things that have happened to you that you have barely breathed a word of to anyone.'

Something like this means a lot to a person who experienced such things. If you experienced such things and it means nothing then doesn't this mean you have clocked out of your own life?

Posted by Wizardzzz
Well I 'm probably the one doing the telling, so can't rly complain

So you tell someone you're dating something really personal and life-changing from your history and the next day they tell someone else. You're ok with that, regardless of who they tell? What if they tell someone you can't trust?

as much as I pride myself on being transparent, this is sassy diva behavior and unattractive. (blabbering about your partners vulnerable secrets). sounds like capricorn shenanigans

Posted by clare

Posted by Wizardzzz
Well I 'm probably the one doing the telling, so can't rly complain

So you tell someone you're dating something really personal and life-changing from your history and the next day they tell someone else. You're ok with that, regardless of who they tell? What if they tell someone you can't trust?

click to expand

Idk what does it matter . If I 'm mad about it then I am. If I'm not then I 'm not. I'm not going to have a "it's the principle" type of response