Gemini girl ignoring / not replying

Hey,

There's a girl i've known ten months, we both volunteer at the same place, and we've got on really well, really connected in that time. She was quite shy and quite and lacking confidence, and I really took her under my wing and made a big effort... out of nothing more than friendliness at the time, but over the months I started to have feelings for her, but nothing consistent. Anyway, over the last month or so as my feelings became a bit clearer I started to flirt more, especially by text, really overt stuff, joking about when we get married etc. It was banter, but with the aim of seeing where she stood with me. Then she told me she was leaving volunteering and it really hit home to me how I felt about her.

I'm a Virgo, btw, so my feelings aren't always obvious to even me. The day after she'd left and my feelings had dawned on me I sent her an email just saying that I liked her and that if at any point in the future the opportunity was there then i'd be interested. The reason I said that was because she has a fairly long term boyfriend, but I don't sense she's all that committed to that. Anyway, I can definitely imagine this surprising and shocking her, because asides from some flirty texts I always played down any flirting in person, just because my feelings were conflicted and maybe a bit of shyness too... y'know, easy to be bold by text lol.

Anyway, the email was sent on friday, and I followed it up with some more jokey, banter texts, the last one yesterday morning... but no reply, nothing to the email, nothing to the texts. I'm kind of like 'Errr??' If she wasn't interested she seems like the type to just say so. I can completely expect her to be shocked, so my feeling is maybe she is trying to work it out in her head. But I don't know. It's just a bit strange to hear nothing at all. I didn't ask her out, and my email wasn't heavy, I just said I liked her, and although I understood that she had a boyfriend that anytime she was available i'd be interested.

Any ideas?

Posted by MissGemmi
It might also be strange to call someone when the relationship is over. It's a awkward to say anything. Do you expect her to say, ok, I'll give you a call once me and my boyfriend are done. Or I like you too, but I can't? Or, just thank you? There's actually no proper respons to your mail.

I'm not sure. It's a good point. :/

Posted by MissGemmi
I also ignore when I'm not interested and know I don't have to cross paths with the person. I really just disappear.

She has a boyfriend. We can chat and might be close to you, but when we ' re in a relationship, we are really the most loyal people you ' ll ever know and won't opt cheating on our loved ones. When we're settled, we're settled. What do you want to achieve with your confession?
A response, love declaration or to just let it out?

I think just because she was leaving I felt like I had to let her know because otherwise I wouldn't be seeing her again. I suppose it was a 'nothing to lose' situation.

Virgo men, I've been there, done that. VM are the most confusing species on the planet. You give subtle compliments, then pull back. You smile, then critique. You stare, then ignore. ONLY when the object of your interest and attraction goes away do you become awakened and act.

Here's the deal. We gemini girl's love open and accurate communication. Personally, I LOATH mind games. It's been my experience that a lot of Virgo males love messing with your mind. I honestly believe it's to elicit a reaction because Virgo males are often shy or afraid to hear an exact response to their question, "Do you like me?"

The other factor is that Virgo men can't comprehend their own feelings, (you even stated this), so how in the world do you expect a woman to figure your feelings out, especially when you are vague, conflicting, inactive, then proactive when she's moved on? Seriously, is it any wonder you're confused about your feelings? I swear Virgo men have their own form of PMS.

The other biggie is that she has a BF already. And despite what you may perceive regarding her relationship with him, it's not your call if she's serious about him or not. That's her call. Period.

You've contacted her and given her plenty of info regarding your attraction for her etc. She's going to either seriously consider it or feel somewhat threatened. Not that you're doing something incredibly wrong, you're not. Just that we are loyal with those we care about and are in relationships with.

When we gems feel a connection, its special. It's possible she shared some connection with you early on but isn't sure how strong that connection really is.
She may be conflicted because of having a current BF and trying to figure out what you really want.

I think you should stick with what you said, "If things don't work out with your BF, let me know if you're interested..." That way you're not being too pushy, just letting her know where you stand. Open and honest communication with a Gem is huge. Ball is in her court. Time will tell.

If you push too hard, she will definitely not respond. This is true for most women and most men. Attraction can't be forced, it has to come naturally.

Hope this helps.

Posted by gemini64
Virgo men, I've been there, done that. VM are the most confusing species on the planet. You give subtle compliments, then pull back. You smile, then critique. You stare, then ignore. ONLY when the object of your interest and attraction goes away do you become awakened and act.

Here's the deal. We gemini girl's love open and accurate communication. Personally, I LOATH mind games. It's been my experience that a lot of Virgo males love messing with your mind. I honestly believe it's to elicit a reaction because Virgo males are often shy or afraid to hear an exact response to their question, "Do you like me?"

The other factor is that Virgo men can't comprehend their own feelings, (you even stated this), so how in the world do you expect a woman to figure your feelings out, especially when you are vague, conflicting, inactive, then proactive when she's moved on? Seriously, is it any wonder you're confused about your feelings? I swear Virgo men have their own form of PMS.

The other biggie is that she has a BF already. And despite what you may perceive regarding her relationship with him, it's not your call if she's serious about him or not. That's her call. Period.

You've contacted her and given her plenty of info regarding your attraction for her etc. She's going to either seriously consider it or feel somewhat threatened. Not that you're doing something incredibly wrong, you're not. Just that we are loyal with those we care about and are in relationships with.

When we gems feel a connection, its special. It's possible she shared some connection with you early on but isn't sure how strong that connection really is.
She may be conflicted because of having a current BF and trying to figure out what you really want.

I think you should stick with what you said, "If things don't work out with your BF, let me know if you're interested..." That way you're not being too pushy, just letting her know where you stand. Open and honest communication with a Gem is huge. Ball is in her court. Time will tell.

If you push too hard, she will definitely not respond. This is true for most women and most men. Attraction can't be forced, it has to come naturally.

Hope this helps.

Yeah this is a good, honest, perceptive view. My Virgo mind is a mess. I've always treated this girl with a lot of friendliness and warmth.

Gemini64...

Yeah this is a good, honest, perceptive view. My Virgo mind is a mess. I've always treated this girl with a lot of friendliness and warmth... no mind games whatsoever, mainly because of those 10 months 9 of them were as friends. No inconsistencies or anything at all. I mean, I was really aggressively friendly with her from the start because I saw her shyness and wanted her to feel comfortable volunteering, so I made a huge effort to make her feel welcome and wanted there. In the last month as she was becoming more confident and, therefore, open and expressive, I started to see what a cool girl she was, and I started to feel a stronger attraction to her, which is when I was more flirty with texts and such, and she was positive in response, she was going a long with it, which doesn't have to mean anything, but she was certainly relaxed and comfortable with it.

But then - and here, if anywhere, is where I fucked up... on her last day on thursday I just brought all the walls down. She brought up the texts and as cool and as cold as you like I just said 'oh I was just messing around' and completely played it down, and throughout that whole day there was no flirting from me, no particular warmth - still friendly, but I never built on those texts, instead I dismissed them all, both in word and action. And I think it was just because I felt vulnerable and maybe fearful of rejection if I pushed on. I'm not sure. In terms of mixed messages, that was the only time it occurred. Prior to that we'd been friends - and i'd been a good, consistent friend to her - then a bit of flirting that seemed to be picking up, and then BANG, I shut it all down in one day. On that last day she'd written in my collective birthday card (it was my birthday the day before) 'I will miss you'.

I think she liked me. I don't think she thought I liked her, not at least until close until the end, and then I tore all possibilities down with my last day behaviour. Of course, until the next day when I told her I really liked her! Thing is, surely ten months of consistent, friendly behaviour gives me some credit in the bank? I don't know. Anyway, she knows how I feel. I am going to back off now. It's up to her, and I did say that in the email. There is no expectation from me that she end her current relationship to be with me. I just wanted her to know for possible future reference.

Anyway, thanks. You are very perceptive. I really appreciated your

Posted by MissGemmi

Posted by Rchrd

Posted by MissGemmi
I also ignore when I'm not interested and know I don't have to cross paths with the person. I really just disappear.

She has a boyfriend. We can chat and might be close to you, but when we ' re in a relationship, we are really the most loyal people you ' ll ever know and won't opt cheating on our loved ones. When we're settled, we're settled. What do you want to achieve with your confession?
A response, love declaration or to just let it out?

I think just because she was leaving I felt like I had to let her know because otherwise I wouldn't be seeing her again. I suppose it was a 'nothing to lose' situation.

Understandable. You ' ve got nothing to lose, but she does. Would you have said it if she wasn't leaving?

click to expand

Heck no! I would have just continued to build on how it had become. Our contact had already become more flirty, but she only announced she was leaving 2 weeks ago, so I saw her twice after that announcement, and I guess her leaving just made me face my feelings. Tbh, I think i've felt that way for a long time, but as has been said, as a Virgo, I am really clueless about my feelings. They are so deep down that when they rise up to my conscious mind it's more like an echo of a feeling than an actual feeling, and that echo has taken on a chinese whisper distortion such that I don't trust what i'm feeling. But no, if she was staying i'd have continued to suss the situation out and been much slower, and i'd have absolutely stayed at that level until she broke up with her boyfriend. It was simply because she was leaving that I shared my feelings.

Let me give one text example of our interaction and you can determine, excuse my humour, it is mildly retarded...

Me: I adore you, girl.

Her: Aw ha thank you 🙂 not sure why! so random x

Me: You are just beautiful. Sweet and enchanting and one of a kind. And I love watching you blossom.

Her: Aww that's so sweet 🙂 thank you x

Me: Oh that's ok, when we're married i'm gonna give you three compliments a day (five on your birthday and religious festivities), i'm gonna wake up with a sausage roll and an iced bun every morning, and i'm gonna fold my own clothes (but you have to wash and iron them). And finally, after a long lifetime together, when you die i'm gonna bury you in a mid-range coffin. So, are you mine?!

Her: Well how could I refuse a mid-range coffin? x

Me: So now we're getting married I can still see you every thursday, whoop! Aren't I clever? It's the perfect solution, everyone wins... well, maybe not your boyfriend, but i'm sure he'll come around. He lives miles away anyway, he probably won't even notice! One day he'll be like 'so who is this guy in the kitchen making you pancakes with melted Mars bar over the top?' and you'll be like 'that's my husband' and he'll be like 'you are such a dickhead' and i'll be like 'would you like a pancake?' and he'll be like 'yes, please' and it'll all be sorted. I've really thought this through. You just keep being hot and i'll do the rest. xxxx!

Her: Ha ha you really have thought this through! Sounds like a plan. x

Me: Yay!

She read that last text about the pancakes out loud to everyone cos she thought it was so funny, and she had a big smile on her face, and I just said, nice and cold, 'oh I was just trying to convince you to stay'. Are all Virgoes so spastic?

wow, that's more than anything my husband has ever said to me. Very creative. You sound like a thespian. 😉

I can appreciate your honesty and I believe you have integrity.

Here's the deal. You're comments, while genuine and cute, can be perceived different ways. Honestly, like I said my husband had never said anything like this to me during our dating etc. Had he done so, I'm not sure how I would have reacted. It comes across almost to intense, as if you are trying ton convince her that you are so caring, so creative and so special, she can not miss with you. I don't mean this in an insulting manner. Just being up front with you. I'd be like, "WTH?" This guy's almost TOO INTO ME.

Now, with that said, I can appreciate your passion because I too am a very passionate individual when it comes to those I love etc. Often my passion comes across as intensity. And those who have trouble distinguishing the difference feel threatened or at the very least, need some time to comprehend my words/actions.

Gems usually aren't smitten by gushy words. We like clear and concise substance. Because of that, perhaps she simply thought you were role playing and not really serious. I know I would.

Posted by gemini64
wow, that's more than anything my husband has ever said to me. Very creative. You sound like a thespian. 😉

I can appreciate your honesty and I believe you have integrity.

Here's the deal. You're comments, while genuine and cute, can be perceived different ways. Honestly, like I said my husband had never said anything like this to me during our dating etc. Had he done so, I'm not sure how I would have reacted. It comes across almost to intense, as if you are trying ton convince her that you are so caring, so creative and so special, she can not miss with you. I don't mean this in an insulting manner. Just being up front with you. I'd be like, "WTH?" This guy's almost TOO INTO ME.

Now, with that said, I can appreciate your passion because I too am a very passionate individual when it comes to those I love etc. Often my passion comes across as intensity. And those who have trouble distinguishing the difference feel threatened or at the very least, need some time to comprehend my words/actions.

Gems usually aren't smitten by gushy words. We like clear and concise substance. Because of that, perhaps she simply thought you were role playing and not really serious. I know I would.

Well, I kind of was. It was purposefully OTT gushing in the guise of convincing her not to leave volunteering. Basically, it was me being typically careful by having it both ways - it was an overt 'I like you' but so over the top that if she responded badly I could just say 'i was only joking!' That's just my own fears at play. To be clear, I don't feel that strongly for her. Certainly not to the degree of those texts. I'm just very comfortable being that open, and I am to everyone, so it wouldn't seem out of place at all. She would see those texts as my normal character, it's just whether she took them seriously at all, or just purely as me messing around. I left room for it to be interpreted both ways. I'm really sad about my Virgo mind. I don't want to be this way, but i'm not sure how i'm supposed to be another way if this is my make-up? What is this Virgo mind trying to teach me? What am I meant to be learning through all of this?

Posted by gemini64
wow, that's more than anything my husband has ever said to me. Very creative. You sound like a thespian. 😉

I can appreciate your honesty and I believe you have integrity.

Here's the deal. You're comments, while genuine and cute, can be perceived different ways. Honestly, like I said my husband had never said anything like this to me during our dating etc. Had he done so, I'm not sure how I would have reacted. It comes across almost to intense, as if you are trying ton convince her that you are so caring, so creative and so special, she can not miss with you. I don't mean this in an insulting manner. Just being up front with you. I'd be like, "WTH?" This guy's almost TOO INTO ME.

Now, with that said, I can appreciate your passion because I too am a very passionate individual when it comes to those I love etc. Often my passion comes across as intensity. And those who have trouble distinguishing the difference feel threatened or at the very least, need some time to comprehend my words/actions.

Gems usually aren't smitten by gushy words. We like clear and concise substance. Because of that, perhaps she simply thought you were role playing and not really serious. I know I would.

I am, of course, also completely showing off, totally aware that I can be creative and clever and cute with my words and using it as an attraction.

Posted by MissGemmi
She hasn't taken it serious, the text is obviously just playing with words. Her responses are clear. She hasn't played along, meaning she is careful. She can see right through it and knows you were testing the water. Flirting is Geminis game, but when we feel for you there's no mystery with Gemini. We can't hold on to the fa?ade. We can't hold in strong feelings. We will throw it in your face with a big smile🙂 It's a plus that you ' ve been so blunt. The way you were showing off, is a bit cheesy, but so cheesy, that it's cute 🙂 She's committed though. If she gives you a respons, I think it will be out of curiosity.

Ughhh I hate cheesy, i'd hate to be seen as cheesy, I just wanted to seem ridiculous and weird and, hopefully, a little funny. I have a placement in my chart (I can't remember what) but it gives me the 'gift of the gab'... in other words, i'm full of shiit. I could spout out all of that 'cheese' all day long without meaning a word of it. And, you know what, now that a few days have passed, all those feelings that I felt compelled to share have simmered back down, and I don't much care. My concern at the moment - please excuse my brutal self honest, I just want to grow from this - is to avoid humiliation, and secondly, that I haven't upset her. I need to confront the ugliness of some of my nature. I am a really nice person, but there are aspects in me that I don't like at all, and of course, being Virgo I am hyper self-critical, but i'm good with that. I'll tear myself to pieces if it means I can be stitched back together as a better person. It's just that there are a few themes in this that keep repeating, and if I don't get really honest and face them then they're going to keep coming around and kicking me in the shins, over and over and over. I think at the core of all of this is not enough self-love. All of my interaction with this girl is scarred with self-doubt and fear of rejection. It's insidious, and so normal to me that I barely see another way of being.

Rchrd
I think you're a cool dude and have quite the imagination. I appreciate your willingness
To be honest as you can about your feelings etc. With that said
You are trying too hard. Ive never encountered a male virgo as you...
EVER!!! So there has to be something in your moon or rising sign
Thats causing you to act the manner you are.

Again, Gemini's gravitate toward individuals who are honest open and
Dont play games. We see through them and get turned off fast.
If you really like this girl and hope to get her to take her seriously
Stop with the drama. You will only get rejected if you keep doing what
You've been doing. Look at your history/actions. The only
Thing its gotten you is total confusion and asking for advice from us Gems.

Trust me on this...you'll get further by doing less.

I ignore when I am not interested or that person has come on so strong or they are blowing me up which I get totally turned off.

Yeah, when I'm not interested I am rarely straightforward. I sidestep advances and ignore. I really just hope the guy will lose interest without getting his feelings hurt.