Jams83
@Jams83
8 Years
Comments: 0 · Posts: 3 · Topics: 1
Female libra/moving in together
Is there a reason you don't want to move in to her place so that she can save while you guys live together until you both can afford a place together?
It seems like a reasonable compromise to me but I don't know all the factors.
Objectively though, I wouldn't consider a place mine if it wasn't in my name too. It'd be ur place and I'd just be staying there.
It seems like a reasonable compromise to me but I don't know all the factors.
Objectively though, I wouldn't consider a place mine if it wasn't in my name too. It'd be ur place and I'd just be staying there.
Does she own her home?
Could it be an issue of trust? Not like trustworthy but trust (two different things).
It's easy to just decide you're going to move in with someone but a lot harder to be patient and build towards a solid foundation before joining islands.
Have you only known her for 6 months or is there previous history? The reason I ask is because on average it takes a woman 12 months to adjust to a life style change (to include a relationship), so I would imagine that 6 months is entirely too premature to be talking about buying property or living together.
It's easy to just decide you're going to move in with someone but a lot harder to be patient and build towards a solid foundation before joining islands.
Have you only known her for 6 months or is there previous history? The reason I ask is because on average it takes a woman 12 months to adjust to a life style change (to include a relationship), so I would imagine that 6 months is entirely too premature to be talking about buying property or living together.
Posted by Jams83Sounds to me that she wants to test drive the car before buying.... if you get what I mean.
We have only been together 6 months and she's mentioned on several occasions to move in together(to hers only as I share house). I've looked at multiple options such as purchasing a house together(in my name) to move forward as she's not financially capable. It always comes back to the fact it won't be in her name and it would be better if we just lived at hers only until we could both afford it.
It's like a constant struggle for control. I reassured her that the house would be half hers despite not being in her name. She continuously says it would be like she's a border only... that I'm using her. I've been happy to live apart. But she says she cannot save unless she's living with anyone as she cannot afford it any other way. I have savings and happy to purchase a home for us together. I just don't understand why she insists on waiting until we can both afford it and that the only solution is for me to move in with her first.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
Posted by DipYesssssss this is why I asked if she owned her place.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
I DO NOT like to depend on a man.. I just don't and never will. So if it's only in your name, then it's a no go for me.. Especially if it's that early on.
And for me 6 months would be too early anyway. My sag wanted us to move in with each other early on, and I said no. Not all Libras want to move in fast, but myself as a libra, will not feel comfortable being dependent on someone I've only been with for 6 months.. And by that I mean if anything goes wrong, that place is yours, not even half mine. So no.
Posted by jane84Yea I know all about you Libra girls. 😉 You're like the complete opposite of Cancer girls when it comes to be "taking care of". Maybe not all cancers. But I dated a cancer girl who wanted me to pay all the bills, and made a huge deal about it. Which was a turn off to me. Not having to pay the bills but that she made it such a big issue. Felt like I was getting used.Posted by DipYesssssss this is why I asked if she owned her place.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
I DO NOT like to depend on a man.. I just don't and never will. So if it's only in your name, then it's a no go for me.. Especially if it's that early on.
And for me 6 months would be too early anyway. My sag wanted us to move in with each other early on, and I said no. Not all Libras want to move in fast, but myself as a libra, will not feel comfortable being dependent on someone I've only been with for 6 months.. And by that I mean if anything goes wrong, that place is yours, not even half mine. So no.
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My Ex libra would have never let me do that even when I tried.
Posted by DipHmm only bad experience I had was my Cancer dad.. Always making my Mom pay for everything. Can't say anything bad about all cancers though.Posted by jane84Yea I know all about you Libra girls. 😉 You're like the complete opposite of Cancer girls when it comes to be "taking care of". Maybe not all cancers. But I dated a cancer girl who wanted me to pay all the bills, and made a huge deal about it. Which was a turn off to me. Not having to pay the bills but that she made it such a big issue. Felt like I was getting used.Posted by DipYesssssss this is why I asked if she owned her place.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
I DO NOT like to depend on a man.. I just don't and never will. So if it's only in your name, then it's a no go for me.. Especially if it's that early on.
And for me 6 months would be too early anyway. My sag wanted us to move in with each other early on, and I said no. Not all Libras want to move in fast, but myself as a libra, will not feel comfortable being dependent on someone I've only been with for 6 months.. And by that I mean if anything goes wrong, that place is yours, not even half mine. So no.
My Ex libra would have never let me do that even when I tried.
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But yeah, I would never let anyone pay for me that much. I just couldn't..
I was also about to say 6 months isn't a long time for a Libra. But I don't think it would matter if it was 6 months or 12 months. Unless you're married to the libra girl, and the property can be legally divided, she probably would still want to have half in her name.
Posted by AmethysstI'm 100% with you on this
Do not buy a home together if you've only been dating for 6mos! That makes no logical sense.. you are already arguing about the home you haven't even purchased yet.
Posted by jane84I know all about you sexy leebs. Just one of the reasons why I love Libra girls. I actually get a little pissed when I find out the girl I'm into isn't one. Sad I know lolPosted by DipHmm only bad experience I had was my Cancer dad.. Always making my Mom pay for everything. Can't say anything bad about all cancers though.Posted by jane84Yea I know all about you Libra girls. 😉 You're like the complete opposite of Cancer girls when it comes to be "taking care of". Maybe not all cancers. But I dated a cancer girl who wanted me to pay all the bills, and made a huge deal about it. Which was a turn off to me. Not having to pay the bills but that she made it such a big issue. Felt like I was getting used.Posted by DipYesssssss this is why I asked if she owned her place.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
I DO NOT like to depend on a man.. I just don't and never will. So if it's only in your name, then it's a no go for me.. Especially if it's that early on.
And for me 6 months would be too early anyway. My sag wanted us to move in with each other early on, and I said no. Not all Libras want to move in fast, but myself as a libra, will not feel comfortable being dependent on someone I've only been with for 6 months.. And by that I mean if anything goes wrong, that place is yours, not even half mine. So no.
My Ex libra would have never let me do that even when I tried.
But yeah, I would never let anyone pay for me that much. I just couldn't..
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Posted by DipLol I believe my Sag boyfriend would agree with you in that he says things like "I love my sexy libra." LolPosted by jane84I know all about you sexy leebs. Just one of the reasons why I love Libra girls. I actually get a little pissed when I find out the girl I'm into isn't one. Sad I know lolPosted by DipHmm only bad experience I had was my Cancer dad.. Always making my Mom pay for everything. Can't say anything bad about all cancers though.Posted by jane84Yea I know all about you Libra girls. 😉 You're like the complete opposite of Cancer girls when it comes to be "taking care of". Maybe not all cancers. But I dated a cancer girl who wanted me to pay all the bills, and made a huge deal about it. Which was a turn off to me. Not having to pay the bills but that she made it such a big issue. Felt like I was getting used.Posted by DipYesssssss this is why I asked if she owned her place.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
I DO NOT like to depend on a man.. I just don't and never will. So if it's only in your name, then it's a no go for me.. Especially if it's that early on.
And for me 6 months would be too early anyway. My sag wanted us to move in with each other early on, and I said no. Not all Libras want to move in fast, but myself as a libra, will not feel comfortable being dependent on someone I've only been with for 6 months.. And by that I mean if anything goes wrong, that place is yours, not even half mine. So no.
My Ex libra would have never let me do that even when I tried.
But yeah, I would never let anyone pay for me that much. I just couldn't..
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Never met someone in real life though who was disappointed when the person wasn't the sign they liked. Haha
What is your sun sign and Venus?
Posted by Jams83She's right...if the home is under your name then it's yours. If you two split up she'll be out on her ass so quick with nothing to show for her time spent paying your mortgage.
We have only been together 6 months and she's mentioned on several occasions to move in together(to hers only as I share house). I've looked at multiple options such as purchasing a house together(in my name) to move forward as she's not financially capable. It always comes back to the fact it won't be in her name and it would be better if we just lived at hers only until we could both afford it.
It's like a constant struggle for control. I reassured her that the house would be half hers despite not being in her name. She continuously says it would be like she's a border only... that I'm using her. I've been happy to live apart. But she says she cannot save unless she's living with anyone as she cannot afford it any other way. I have savings and happy to purchase a home for us together. I just don't understand why she insists on waiting until we can both afford it and that the only solution is for me to move in with her first.
If you purchase something then you pay the entire mortgage yourself. Don't expect her to pay half, especially as she is financially struggling. Make that known to her. Ask her to contribute in other ways, cleaning the house...purchasing groceries, helping out with the bills.
Posted by MiZLeoThis has little to do with astrology.
6 months and you're promising to buy a house for her? Dang. Have you ever lived with a S.O. before? It is way different that just having a roommate. What is it with Libras and wanting to move in with every person they meet?
Posted by LadyNeptunePartially true.Posted by Jams83She's right...if the home is under your name then it's yours. If you two split up she'll be out on her ass so quick with nothing to show for her time spent paying your mortgage.
We have only been together 6 months and she's mentioned on several occasions to move in together(to hers only as I share house). I've looked at multiple options such as purchasing a house together(in my name) to move forward as she's not financially capable. It always comes back to the fact it won't be in her name and it would be better if we just lived at hers only until we could both afford it.
It's like a constant struggle for control. I reassured her that the house would be half hers despite not being in her name. She continuously says it would be like she's a border only... that I'm using her. I've been happy to live apart. But she says she cannot save unless she's living with anyone as she cannot afford it any other way. I have savings and happy to purchase a home for us together. I just don't understand why she insists on waiting until we can both afford it and that the only solution is for me to move in with her first.
If you purchase something then you pay the entire mortgage yourself. Don't expect her to pay half, especially as she is financially struggling. Make that known to her. Ask her to contribute in other ways, cleaning the house...purchasing groceries, helping out with the bills.click to expand
As long as her name is on the deed, she will be legally 50% owner. Her name doesn't have to be on the mortgage loan or papers to be owner of the home.
I know this from personal experience.
Posted by LoubraI'm sure it differs in each state/country. And if you take it to court and your name is on the mortgage loan/papers you have more of a case.Posted by LadyNeptunePartially true.Posted by Jams83She's right...if the home is under your name then it's yours. If you two split up she'll be out on her ass so quick with nothing to show for her time spent paying your mortgage.
We have only been together 6 months and she's mentioned on several occasions to move in together(to hers only as I share house). I've looked at multiple options such as purchasing a house together(in my name) to move forward as she's not financially capable. It always comes back to the fact it won't be in her name and it would be better if we just lived at hers only until we could both afford it.
It's like a constant struggle for control. I reassured her that the house would be half hers despite not being in her name. She continuously says it would be like she's a border only... that I'm using her. I've been happy to live apart. But she says she cannot save unless she's living with anyone as she cannot afford it any other way. I have savings and happy to purchase a home for us together. I just don't understand why she insists on waiting until we can both afford it and that the only solution is for me to move in with her first.
If you purchase something then you pay the entire mortgage yourself. Don't expect her to pay half, especially as she is financially struggling. Make that known to her. Ask her to contribute in other ways, cleaning the house...purchasing groceries, helping out with the bills.
As long as her name is on the deed, she will be legally 50% owner. Her name doesn't have to be on the mortgage loan or papers to be owner of the home.
I know this from personal experience.
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Could get messy.
Posted by LadyNeptuneAgree each state will vary but most judges leave the issue to the lender and the borrower. The borrower (at the time of signing) is briefed by the closing attorney on the legal ramifications for being 100% owner of the debt but 50% owner on the debt instrument.Posted by LoubraI'm sure it differs in each state/country. And if you take it to court and your name is on the mortgage loan/papers you have more of a case.Posted by LadyNeptunePartially true.Posted by Jams83She's right...if the home is under your name then it's yours. If you two split up she'll be out on her ass so quick with nothing to show for her time spent paying your mortgage.
We have only been together 6 months and she's mentioned on several occasions to move in together(to hers only as I share house). I've looked at multiple options such as purchasing a house together(in my name) to move forward as she's not financially capable. It always comes back to the fact it won't be in her name and it would be better if we just lived at hers only until we could both afford it.
It's like a constant struggle for control. I reassured her that the house would be half hers despite not being in her name. She continuously says it would be like she's a border only... that I'm using her. I've been happy to live apart. But she says she cannot save unless she's living with anyone as she cannot afford it any other way. I have savings and happy to purchase a home for us together. I just don't understand why she insists on waiting until we can both afford it and that the only solution is for me to move in with her first.
If you purchase something then you pay the entire mortgage yourself. Don't expect her to pay half, especially as she is financially struggling. Make that known to her. Ask her to contribute in other ways, cleaning the house...purchasing groceries, helping out with the bills.
As long as her name is on the deed, she will be legally 50% owner. Her name doesn't have to be on the mortgage loan or papers to be owner of the home.
I know this from personal experience.
Could get messy.click to expand
It may seem messy but it's actually clean cut in the latter of the law and court system. Property is handled differently than say "joint credit".
libras are all about equality and fairness. i don't like people paying for me either. we either split the bill 50/50 or i pay for them.
plus 6 months is way to soon to be buying a house. moving in together will at least give you some idea if you can make it work as a unit. it's sensible.
plus 6 months is way to soon to be buying a house. moving in together will at least give you some idea if you can make it work as a unit. it's sensible.
Posted by tizianiPosted by jeaneBut let's be honest. This story isn't about what's fair for everyone. According to the story, she's repeatedly bringing up moving in together and saying there is no way she can save money otherwise. She's not even in a position where she can say she's saving money on her own by living by herself. If this were about independence, she would sort her own life out alone. But if I'm understanding the story correctly, she's repeatedly suggested they move in together which would be her getting a leg up financially from the situation.
libras are all about equality and fairness. i don't like people paying for me either. we either split the bill 50/50 or i pay for them.
plus 6 months is way to soon to be buying a house. moving in together will at least give you some idea if you can make it work as a unit. it's sensible.
I see nothing wrong with building interdependent relationships but that goes hand in hand with calling a spade a spade.
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perhaps. i don't know how much she is currently paying in rent and whether a mortgage payment along with a deposit would exceed that.
plus if they moved in together and shared her rent then maybe she could start to save for a deposit.
Posted by jane84I 'm keeping that a secret so they can't use it agaisnt me on here 😄. Let's just say we're compatible. I don't know what my venus is.Posted by DipLol I believe my Sag boyfriend would agree with you in that he says things like "I love my sexy libra." LolPosted by jane84I know all about you sexy leebs. Just one of the reasons why I love Libra girls. I actually get a little pissed when I find out the girl I'm into isn't one. Sad I know lolPosted by DipHmm only bad experience I had was my Cancer dad.. Always making my Mom pay for everything. Can't say anything bad about all cancers though.Posted by jane84Yea I know all about you Libra girls. 😉 You're like the complete opposite of Cancer girls when it comes to be "taking care of". Maybe not all cancers. But I dated a cancer girl who wanted me to pay all the bills, and made a huge deal about it. Which was a turn off to me. Not having to pay the bills but that she made it such a big issue. Felt like I was getting used.Posted by DipYesssssss this is why I asked if she owned her place.
Your english was a little off so don't know if I got it, but it sounds like you're saying she has her own place right now, in her own name, and wants to keep it like that until she can afford to buy something bigger that she can own half of.
It's not about controlling you. She's just making sure she doesn't have to depend on you, or any man, who she's only been seeing for 6 months. She's being a typical smart Libra, who doesn't like to depend on men financially.
Libras are very independant. They're not clingy at all or look to men to take care of them. To her, living with a man, and not owning half of the property would be her being too dependant on you. If something happens and you all break up, now she doesn't have a place. Just a typical smart Libra making a smart move. It's not about you. It's about her making sure she's doing the right thing for herself.
I DO NOT like to depend on a man.. I just don't and never will. So if it's only in your name, then it's a no go for me.. Especially if it's that early on.
And for me 6 months would be too early anyway. My sag wanted us to move in with each other early on, and I said no. Not all Libras want to move in fast, but myself as a libra, will not feel comfortable being dependent on someone I've only been with for 6 months.. And by that I mean if anything goes wrong, that place is yours, not even half mine. So no.
My Ex libra would have never let me do that even when I tried.
But yeah, I would never let anyone pay for me that much. I just couldn't..
Never met someone in real life though who was disappointed when the person wasn't the sign they liked. Haha
What is your sun sign and Venus?click to expand
Posted by tizianiYes, but we don't know the whole story. He lives with people (pays less), she lives alone. What if this guy (because who likes to always wonder when the roommates are home/not home to have sex) is always at her house?? If that is true then maybe she sees it as a way for both of them to save money since he's always over there anyway..and wait to get something they'd BOTH want that is in BOTH their names. And if he WANTS to move in with her, even to a point where he would BUY a house for them, then doesn't that mean HE brings it up too?? Come on, with that story you really think this is a one way street, where she only wants him to move in? No.. I say he wants to too. She's not the only one bringing it up.Posted by jeaneBut let's be honest. This story isn't about what's fair for everyone. According to the story, she's repeatedly bringing up moving in together and saying there is no way she can save money otherwise. She's not even in a position where she can say she's saving money on her own by living by herself. If this were about independence, she would sort her own life out alone. But if I'm understanding the story correctly, she's repeatedly suggested they move in together which would be her getting a leg up financially from the situation.
libras are all about equality and fairness. i don't like people paying for me either. we either split the bill 50/50 or i pay for them.
plus 6 months is way to soon to be buying a house. moving in together will at least give you some idea if you can make it work as a unit. it's sensible.
I see nothing wrong with building interdependent relationships but that goes hand in hand with calling a spade a spade.
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I think she just doesn't want to jump into a commitment like that so soon (where BIG issues could stem from)...and if they are together and one is always over (I'm thinking he's at her house more) it's easier to say, "Look, let's try it out then and have you stay here (less of a commitment, but still taking the next step) and you help pay since you are here. I obviously see that it would benefit her financially HOWEVER, would you buy a house with someone after 6 months? We can say Libras fall hard and she may have for him, but she's not dumb. She's not going to get into something where she could lose out on everything (what she has currently in place AND what she thought she'd build with this guy.)
If she was just using him for money, she'd say go ahead and buy the house. There are women out there that get thenselves into situations where they meet "prince charming" who wants to sweep them off their feet, buy them a house, and they go straight for it.. This one said, "No, I'm struggling, but I don't want you to do that. I need to be able to afford it myself too."
Big difference
Posted by tizianiYou're right on me assuming OP was a man, that was wrong of me.Posted by jane84I agree with you that we don't know the full story. I never said she was using him for money, just that according to what the OP wrote then she's pressing for living together in a situation that would benefit her financially.Posted by tizianiYes, but we don't know the whole story. He lives with people (pays less), she lives alone. What if this guy (because who likes to always wonder when the roommates are home/not home to have sex) is always at her house?? If that is true then maybe she sees it as a way for both of them to save money since he's always over there anyway..and wait to get something they'd BOTH want that is in BOTH their names. And if he WANTS to move in with her, even to a point where he would BUY a house for them, then doesn't that mean HE brings it up too?? Come on, with that story you really think this is a one way street, where she only wants him to move in? No.. I say he wants to too. She's not the only one bringing it up.Posted by jeaneBut let's be honest. This story isn't about what's fair for everyone. According to the story, she's repeatedly bringing up moving in together and saying there is no way she can save money otherwise. She's not even in a position where she can say she's saving money on her own by living by herself. If this were about independence, she would sort her own life out alone. But if I'm understanding the story correctly, she's repeatedly suggested they move in together which would be her getting a leg up financially from the situation.
libras are all about equality and fairness. i don't like people paying for me either. we either split the bill 50/50 or i pay for them.
plus 6 months is way to soon to be buying a house. moving in together will at least give you some idea if you can make it work as a unit. it's sensible.
I see nothing wrong with building interdependent relationships but that goes hand in hand with calling a spade a spade.
I think she just doesn't want to jump into a commitment like that so soon (where BIG issues could stem from)...and if they are together and one is always over (I'm thinking he's at her house more) it's easier to say, "Look, let's try it out then and have you stay here (less of a commitment, but still taking the next step) and you help pay since you are here. I obviously see that it would benefit her financially HOWEVER, would you buy a house with someone after 6 months? We can say Libras fall hard and she may have for him, but she's not dumb. She's not going to get into something where she could lose out on everything (what she has currently in place AND what she thought she'd build with this guy.)
If she was just using him for money, she'd say go ahead and buy the house. There are women out there that get thenselves into situations where they meet "prince charming" who wants to sweep them off their feet, buy them a house, and they go straight for it.. This one said, "No, I'm struggling, but I don't want you to do that. I need to be able to afford it myself too."
Big difference
Nothing wrong with financial support. It's part of emotional support.
I said that in reply to the posts that were talking about Libran independence. What part of the story suggests she is concerned with being independent? She's breaking even by herself and yet wants to push for a situation where she can save money by bringing someone else into her life, rather than saving by herself.
That's ok in my book. It's a choice.
There is also nothing in the story that says the OP is a man so we don't know.
What the OP did say is: " I've been happy to live apart."
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However, although OP said "I've been happy to live apart" why is OP suggesting that he/she would buy a house for them to live together then?
Who suggests that at 6 months?
Sounds more of a power struggle like OP said. They would like to move in together. But she wants OP to move into something that is established and OP wants her to move into a new situation with a house under OP's name. Right there is the independence part... This is mine, that is yours.. Who becomes dependent on the other? Both want things their own way.
If she is simply wanting him to move in to pay, well then that's wrong... But if he is always over there, then there's an issue. It would save money if they just lived together.
And the reason why I agree with her is because I would not feel comfortable with moving into something that is not in my name. Whether I had feelings for someone or not.
I'm not sure how my English is a little off. I'm fairly certain I've been clear about everything other than the situation with the home.
She is currently renting and has no savings.
You can say she's independent other than the fact that she states she cannot save without someone moving in with her yet refuses to get another housemate. She is only willing to share a place with her significant other.
I want to make this clear that I am NOT buying her a house. I would actually be happy to live in one I own without anyone else. However she seems to think I am not being a team player in our relationship. She says she can ask her parents for money to purchase a joint home together... so AGAIN, I don't see this as being independent. I am the only one who is indwpwndent here.
She is currently renting and has no savings.
You can say she's independent other than the fact that she states she cannot save without someone moving in with her yet refuses to get another housemate. She is only willing to share a place with her significant other.
I want to make this clear that I am NOT buying her a house. I would actually be happy to live in one I own without anyone else. However she seems to think I am not being a team player in our relationship. She says she can ask her parents for money to purchase a joint home together... so AGAIN, I don't see this as being independent. I am the only one who is indwpwndent here.
Sorry I just read the rest of these as well.
My point is that the place I want to purchase would be something I lived in for a while and then use as an investment property. Why should I miss a great opportunity to purchase a home simply because she can't support herself and save money without someone living there?
Get creative! I moved in with a housemate so I could save. I have been offered an opportunity to purchase a home through a government affordable home scheme and I can only do it in my name(too complicated to explain this process).
But for me it's simply a stepping stone out of the rental situation. If she doesn't want to get on board, this is cool. However I don't believe I should have to pass the offer and move in with her just so we can potentially get a home together in the future. I think it's far too soon for this as well.. but she's got some issues about it all.. like saying we don't share the same dreams simply because of it.
To me, this seems like manipulation.. not support. If she wanted to save so badly she would've gotten herself a housemate. But she says she doesn't like living with others(apart from a partner) sooo... to me, it's like a case of wanting her cake and to eat it too.
My point is that the place I want to purchase would be something I lived in for a while and then use as an investment property. Why should I miss a great opportunity to purchase a home simply because she can't support herself and save money without someone living there?
Get creative! I moved in with a housemate so I could save. I have been offered an opportunity to purchase a home through a government affordable home scheme and I can only do it in my name(too complicated to explain this process).
But for me it's simply a stepping stone out of the rental situation. If she doesn't want to get on board, this is cool. However I don't believe I should have to pass the offer and move in with her just so we can potentially get a home together in the future. I think it's far too soon for this as well.. but she's got some issues about it all.. like saying we don't share the same dreams simply because of it.
To me, this seems like manipulation.. not support. If she wanted to save so badly she would've gotten herself a housemate. But she says she doesn't like living with others(apart from a partner) sooo... to me, it's like a case of wanting her cake and to eat it too.
I've did both living with someone, and having my own. With time living on my own it can be rough and you would like to have help like 70/30 or 50/50. But you got to look at incomes too to figure that out. And if shit hits the fan whose moving out first.
See it has been a real pleasure having my own and if I ever tried living with a lover it would take a miracle cause I'm independent more than. And if there are problems in the friendship I might not at all. Cause the stuck feeling of being stuck.
See it has been a real pleasure having my own and if I ever tried living with a lover it would take a miracle cause I'm independent more than. And if there are problems in the friendship I might not at all. Cause the stuck feeling of being stuck.
Posted by Jams83Red flags ahoy.
But for me it's simply a stepping stone out of the rental situation. If she doesn't want to get on board, this is cool. However I don't believe I should have to pass the offer and move in with her just so we can potentially get a home together in the future. I think it's far too soon for this as well.. but she's got some issues about it all.. like saying we don't share the same dreams simply because of it.
To me, this seems like manipulation.. not support. If she wanted to save so badly she would've gotten herself a housemate. But she says she doesn't like living with others(apart from a partner) sooo... to me, it's like a case of wanting her cake and to eat it too.
Don't even consider her and continue with your plans. Nothing wrong with getting the house for YOUR own reasons, but don't even think about basing those plans on her bullshit. She's nothing to you right now since it's only been 6 months. It's stupid as fuck you even started this topic because real adults wouldn't even let this weirdo dictate something like this to them.
If your plans were to save up to get your own place for your personal reasons, you do that. Some silly bitch who has traipsed into your life so recently should not have any bearing on those plans or your decision to do so.
Get the place and fuck moving in together for now. What the hell is the rush you crazy hoes?
Posted by Jams83Whoa that's a lot more information and now makes more sense. Follow your dreams dude.. Don't wait for her to get herself together. Especially if she doesn't want you to follow your dreams...those kind of people are not worth it.
Sorry I just read the rest of these as well.
My point is that the place I want to purchase would be something I lived in for a while and then use as an investment property. Why should I miss a great opportunity to purchase a home simply because she can't support herself and save money without someone living there?
Get creative! I moved in with a housemate so I could save. I have been offered an opportunity to purchase a home through a government affordable home scheme and I can only do it in my name(too complicated to explain this process).
But for me it's simply a stepping stone out of the rental situation. If she doesn't want to get on board, this is cool. However I don't believe I should have to pass the offer and move in with her just so we can potentially get a home together in the future. I think it's far too soon for this as well.. but she's got some issues about it all.. like saying we don't share the same dreams simply because of it.
To me, this seems like manipulation.. not support. If she wanted to save so badly she would've gotten herself a housemate. But she says she doesn't like living with others(apart from a partner) sooo... to me, it's like a case of wanting her cake and to eat it too.
I should have waited to see your answer to if she owned her own place.. Sometimes I seriously don't feel like any libra mentioned here.
I bought my own home at 21. I don't rely on anyone. It's crazy to me that she wants to hold you back...
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