Gemini Woman & Libra Man. Help!!!

So I've been dating my Libra guy for about 5 months now, and loved it for the most part. Problem is, his ex wont leave him alone and he doesnt mind it! He damn near defends her whenever I bring it up. I feel disrespected so I let him know how I felt and left and he keeps telling me to 'calm down' and relax as if he doesnt care enough to fix the problem to make me feel better. It almost seems as if he is taking me seriously when I say Im done because the last 2 times I came right back. How do I show him how hurt & serious I am about this? What should I do and expect? I tell him Im done and still he'll text and call and act like all is well. HELP!!!

Obviously words aren't working so you need actions. Next time you are out socially flirt ever so slightly with one of the men there. Nothing serious like kissing. Just have a fun conversation. See how he reacts. He might not like you getting male attention and the penny will drop.

he is not taking your words seriously because you always come back. so basically in his mind you are throwing a fit once you calm down you will be back. basically taking you for granted.

now woman to woman...what exactly is this ex doing? are you just being jealous and over reacting? is she trying to be friends with him? or are they flirting with each other? what exactly are you uncomfortable about?

if you are just telling him that you dont want him talking to her because she is the ex, thats not going to work. you have to have a base. you cant go around telling a grown man who he can or can't talk too. unless in some way she is being disrespectful to you or your relationship. if he is allowing this disrespect or he is doing the flirting, etc, why do you want him?
just some things you should ask yourself.

what i mean by flirting is: reminiscing about old times, talking about inappropriate things, or how they wish they were together again. you know stuff in those lines....

Yeah I know, I have been ignoring his calls and texts for the past 24 hours. Now with the ex girlfriend she calls him literally every hour or two and is constantly texting him. If he doesnt respond she keeps calling and texting. Im a Gem so Im the type to give him space and let him do as he pleases im terms of being friends with females including ex's and maune look at one or two when we are out because I know he is with me but this chick just won't go away. He still cares about her, I know that. I care about my ex as well but this is unacceptable. Im just wondering now if he is realizing how SERIOUS I am (because Ive never ignored him for more than maybe 2 hrs) & do something about it. I just want the problem fixed because in the short 5 months we have been thru SO much great things, good things, and a few not so good things. This man is dear to me you guys and he knows it because I have been the only person there for him and him for me.

Posted by Pecheresse
The past always seems to be catching up with Libra men whenever they are sick of the present.

HAHA! So true. The same thing has been happening with me and im a libra woman. I'm in love with this aries male, but lately I've been having doubts for good reason and then POW, here come the ex's. lol
However to the original poster, do not try to get back at your Libra man by purposely flirting in his face. It will not work, and it will only make him beat you at your own game, and his flirting happens naturally so trust me he WILL beat you at. Don't go there. You don't want to stoop to his level. Now in his defense as a Libra myself I am still friends with all of my ex's except for one. I make it known when I'm in a relationship and my man comes first plus I rarely if ever speak to them. Plus you are lucky you even know he still talks to her, I never tell my currents that I still associate with ex's. I never saw the need to because I have no interest in them in that way anymore, if I did I could have them at a drop of a hat, but I chose someone else. And If i move on to another relationship, chances are the reason behind me doing so is because I sought them to be the best, the pick of the litter, the diamond out of all the rocks trying to get my attention. So if my partner insults my choice to be with them, by insisting that I want someone else when I honestly don't, it will most likely piss me off. Which is exactly what will happen with your libra. If he loves you and cares about you, he will try to see things from your side, and he may even try to reason with you, but if you try forcing him into not talking to her, or bossing him into it, he will either rebel or he will sneak and do it behind your back. Then you will be posting a thread about him having passcodes and locks on everything giving you a reason to be insecure. Instead try making him see the un-fairness of the situation. Libra's are ruled by 3 factors, Fairness, Balance, and Harmony. If any of these are thrown off by any means we are thrown off as a whole. Now, as far as the girl goes, you are right he needs to have her tone it down. If she can't respect yall union then yes by all means check your libra, but remember, be careful. You have to determine how much you truly mean to him before going there, but if your sure then do it. He wont go far. Libra's love hard, and are puppy dogs when

My oh my, Girl at first he didnt even tell me but its hard to be secretive about it when the damn chick calls so often! It got to the point where his phone would be on the nightstand or something while he is in the living room or showering or doing whatever and the phone would be blowing up and i peek at it to see who is calling thinking maybe its an emergency and its HER. Then he would start leaving the room to take her phone calls and avoiding his phone at all cost if i am directly next to him then wait for it to die down after a few minutes and sneak to call her back. Now he just answers the phone in my face and try to talk as if its one of his guy friends and then leave the room. Im NOT having that mess! I would never FORCE him not to talk to her though, just have some respect about it. I shouldnt have to feel threatened by it because an ex shouldnt be such big of a deal. I can only imagine when Im not around, she's probably by his damn house when im not there and Ive heard that she was a few weeks ago when we werent on PERFECT terms. (BECAUSE OF HER) Who knows what he tells her though, so Im not really mad at her, more at him. But SHE IS THE ISSUE. He's only ,ade one attempt to get in touch with me today but I ignored once again. He's never really had me completely out of his reach and pissed at him for more than a few hours and this is the WORST it has ever been. So Im guessing ignoring him will either be a reality check for him so fix this nonsense or just go and stay with the girl. Lol btw she's 23, with no education, drivers license, car, job, or brain, and she looks "alright". DO YOU ALL UNDERSTAND WHY IM SO OFFENDED— PS: THANKK YOU @ALIBRA

Lol. Well yes, men have been obsessed with the hoodrats and less independent lately in my opinion because they don't demand as much. They are less of a threat to a weaker man. A real man would cherish a woman with that DOES possess the things that you named. A man that values being in control more so than he does anything else is weak, and will prey on an even weaker woman such as ole girl. You are a fun loving Gemini, independent by nature, probably as a child often able to play by yourself and have a blast while doing so. Many didn't know but you were playing with your twin in your mind, if someone wants to join the two of you, then great if not, then oh well. And it's the same with you and relationships. Your libra is more than likely just enjoying the attention from the ex, but has no real interest in the girl. She will be heartbroken once she finds this out, but it serves her right. Libra's are flirts and are charmers towards anyone that come into our path that we fill it will work on, its often nothing personal. He can probably charm her into do anything for him, which is why he will never truly be satisfied with her, which is most likely why they broke up. She's weak. Any woman that's chases behind a man that's taken, no matter what he says is either weak or having a weak moment, but she is surely weak and a bit desperate. Two qualities that will turn a carefree spirited, charming, independent libra man off like a switch. You seem pretty independent and not for any nonsense, your libra most likely values these things in you. A libra needs, and CRAVES a partner than can stimulate their mind, emotions, and physical nature all at once, because 95% of the time we are driven half past crazy by all 3 ourselves. So if we can find someone that knows how to challenge all 3, and be just as sweet, And adventurous, and independent as us, oh we are sure to fall in love. So the only thing I still suggest is that you make him see the unfairness of the matter. The reason I say that, is because he believes and lives by it, so if you can help him see it, he will drop her at the drop of hat. I mean judging by her qualities you named, she's not worth it.

Omg that is so hilarious how you called her a hoodrat, thats always my title for her and I havent laugh that hard all day! You just brought across all the points I was trying to get across to my best friend today. I Love it! He's not as busy as he use to be so Im sure he is enjoying every bit of the attention but for him to still be doing it when Im around is just absurd. I have explained myself again and again before I started ignoring him and it seems like he was not even trying to understand you know? I definitely used the word 'unfair' multiple times comparing and contrasting situations with my ex and letting him see how differently I handle such matters. I totally get everything you're saying but I honestly dont even have it in me to contact him right now or answer any of his phone calls (btw he stopped calling) He is only going to have a conversation with me as if NOTHING is the problem or as if NOTHING ever happened. He knows where to find me if he cares enough to discuss it. I feel as if he doesnt care right now though and would just let me go because Im ignoring him even though I just want him to reflect on everything and see his wrong doings.

Posted by GeminiBrownin18
He knows where to find me if he cares enough to discuss it.

Posted by GeminiBrownin18
Yeah I know, I have been ignoring his calls and texts for the past 24 hours.

Posted by GeminiBrownin18
I honestly dont even have it in me to [...] answer any of his phone calls (btw he stopped calling)

click to expand

Well if he loves you he's not going to let you go unless he thinks you really want to be rid of the relationship or him. A Libra will not try to keep someone that doesn't want to be kept or bothered, despite how badly we crave love, we will not set ALL our pride aside just to have it unless we know the other person will do the same. He has stopped calling hoping it will give you time to cool off. If you have tried explaining to him and he's being the airy Libra and wants to flirt like he's single then I say you let him be just that! Libra men and women sometimes need a partner to put their foot down, and let them know "oh sweetie your gorgeous face, and heart-warming smile won't get you out of this one! Wrong is wrong!" They need that, or they will tread sweetly right over you to someone who will, however they'd never admit it.lol. But he will call again, and you're right it will be just to say hi or see how you're doing, but if you shut him down cold it will be a long time before he reaches out again. (Not saying you don't have a right, because im with you 100% , im just letting you know how he will react). Libra's hate rejection. I mean we can't stand it, in anyway shape or form. I've let go of a couple guys I really truly liked because they were giving off signals they didn't want to be bothered, or if they seemed to busy for me, or just if they show ANY signs of not caring or being uninterested, I will let it go. A Libra's attitude is like air on the outside, and thick as sand on the inside however only the people close to us whom we are sure wont abuse the privilege of knowing that side or use it against us in the future will see it. Everyone else will think we don't care, or I even heard mean before??_I had to laugh at that one. A Libra? Mean? No way!lol

He has called and text me again but Im thing to break it off completely. I'd much rather sit here and weep till I get over him than to keep letting this happen. Im doing it in a very light and peaceful way though.

You said that you have tried to explain it over and over, used words like unfair, told him how you do things, etc...

Were you explaining it so that
A - he could understand how he made you feel?
or
B - he would change his mind/actions?

A gives you some hope. If he cares about you then he will care how he makes you feel. If you are reasonable and rational you can "lead" him to do all kinds of things. Maybe he seems so indifferent about the situation with his ex because he does not understand how it feels from your side. When he tells you to calm down, is he trying to understand what you are saying (are you being too emotional) or is he dismissing your concerns. Each possibility should lead to a different reaction from you. You have gotten upset with him before but have let it pass easily, how is he supposed to know it has grown to this level? Your original question asked how to show him how much this hurt you and how serious you are about it... tell him! Like I said though, tell him with the sole intention of helping him understand; his response is not the goal.

I'm not trying to take up for him, and agree that he allowing his ex to call that much is ridiculous. That much contact with an ex would make almost anyone uncomfortable. However; being a Libra that has had a lot of female friends through the years??_ this gets lost on me sometimes. Maybe she still has feeling for him and that is why she contacts him so much. Does he see it that way? I am frequently oblivious to what others see as clear signs of someone's intentions with me. If he doesn't see it, and he doesn't want her back??_ why would he think it inappropriate? I have been in this situation before and had no idea how much it impacted the other person. When she??d say she didn't like me talking to the other I thought it was just insecurity/jealousy. I knew I wasn't (and wouldn't) doing anything wrong so it wasn't even on my radar screen of things to worry about. When we really sat down and talked I could see how it was better to make a change. But I did it because I wanted to and not because someone told me I should.

Of course it's also possible that he knows exactly what is happening and just doesn't care. There is no way I can tell you which is which. You know all the little details. You know how he looks at you. You know every word that has been said. You know the truth it can just be hard to see sometimes.

Just providing another angle to look from??_

I was doing it for both reasons. So after I tried to break things off he kept asking me "you dont stop, do you?" and thats all he was really saying and then he was pretty much about to just let me go until I called him evil then he kept blowing up my phone saying that we need to talk so eventually I answered the phone and VENTED like never before and pointed out every single way and reason I felt it was unfair and unjust and asked him how he would feel if I did this nonsense to him! All he had to say after that was I'm crazy because its not that big of a deal, that he misses me, and he will "sort it out". I personally still dont trust it. I wonder if the girl even knows that he is no longer as single as she left him... I just DONT trust it. So for the past couple hours we've been communicating on and off but I dont feel as comfortable and secure as i did with him before this situation so I just rather let him go but he WONT stay away for more than a few hours. I cant deal with this. Love him to pieces, but I hate this feeling!

Girl, if you don't dump him! This entire story is horrible!

Here's the thing: try to go with me here...if a guy, makes two girls jealous over him, who wins? He does. Each girl feels like she can't possibly be the one
to "lose" and back down, so he gets to win ad infinitum! Let. Him. Go. The best revenge you can get on her is to let her have him. LOL

A real man would not put you through ANY of this. Period.

I think he is enjoying it and testing your self esteem at the same time, priming you to be his little yes-girl, just like this other chick is...

I think in order to salvage your self respect you have to let him go. He is playing a game. Let them both lose together and you win
with a real man, hun.

You should check out the site baggagereclaim just Google it.

Mocha

This is the funniest thread.

I don't know if you're still with this libra guy but I really think this is one of their characteristics when it comes to ex's. I'm an aquarius and my libra acts similar with his gemini ex. She will not stop calling, seems like she will never give up on contacting him and it's all because he doesn't like drama. He doesn't want to hurt anyone's feelings and he feels everyone needs "love." I have brought my concerns to him and did many of the things like you stated, told him that it wasn't right and asked how he would feel if i did the same to him. Ultimately, it's going to be his decision as to whether he stops talking to her or just cuts off a lot of ties with her. The libra guy is very indecisive and he probably likes the attention she gives him and wants to keep options around. It is your life and you have to decide whether this is something you really want to deal with but if you love him and want to stick around: talk it out with him, give him space, but don't give up on him. He will eventually see that you are right and come around.

There are only 2 reasons why one remains friends with an ex:

1) You may not want to be with your ex, but you sure as hell are an attentionwhore and love the attention your ex gives you. Ego boost galore!

2) One party has feelings for the other, and is unwilling to let go of an ex.

Libra or not, if a man/woman can't drop an ex flame to salvage their current relationship, you have to wonder what the ex is offering? Sexual favours or financial? lol. Jkz. But seriously, there is something there and that is why your partner isn't leaving the ex alone.

Give him and ultimatum and if he doesn't oblige, then drop him.