I think my best friend Libra's guy is gay

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Adina
@Cataleya
13 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 50 · Topics: 13
It 7am and I'm up consoling my best friend and don't have any advice on what to tell her. She has been "kicking it" with this libra guy for years. We both met our libra guys at the same time. They are actually cousins. Anyways she has been stressing out for the last couple of months. They have a mutual friend who they constantlg hang out with. Her guy and his friend have been spend a lot of time together without her. Which to me isn't a issue I mean in any relationship you should have a life outside of the 2 of you. Last month her guy went on a week vacation didn't tell her he was leaving or where to (Now remember they are not in a titled relationship) come to find out he and the guy went on trip. It hasn't been proven but they both were out of work the same week so her intuition she thinks so. They always go to eat together and such to me it seems like a harmless guy friendship. Here's where my mind started to change. She informed me her and her guy haven't has sex in a year, where as they normally would at least once a month. He never goes anywhere with her alone anymore the guy always comes along and at our job everyone always picks on them being gay or such. January comes and again him and the guy go on a week long vacation together. She tried to make a move on him at my BF dinner party and he kinda shrugged her off and hasn't brought sex or anything. So now to today she saw on her FB where some of our coworkers were joking on their "brotherly love" so now she thinking he is gay. I'm not sure what to say to her neither does my BF looking for some help on this strange situation libra men. Thanks in advance.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Libra dudes often give off a gay vibe because they are a feminine sign. It happens.

However, the no sex in a year is rather alarming and I don't blame the gaydar for going off. Has she even confronted him about it to see what he says or how he'd react?

And the fact that he's made his life about his bromance is also another talking point. The question is why is she tolerating this crap and sticking around? Red flags should be going off after not having sex for a few months, based on their frequency.

If he's not getting it from her, he's getting it somewhere else, that's for sure.
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by PVandJellay
Maybe he's too selfish to end things with your friend, and is simply hoping she will dump him instead. A year is a long time to be in a relationship no sex.



I wouldn't be surprised. It's almost a classic Libra dude move to behave like a douche to get her to do the breaking up so he doesn't have to be the bad guy.

But this is where the question of sexuality comes into play. Some of these guys will tolerate a relationship until they have a plan B, and then they'll bail when it becomes viable. As they say, guys like this always have someone waiting in the wings to take over. BUT if this guy is a hypothetical "person in the wings" then why is he still with her?

I mean everything that has been given points to him not really being in a relationship with her.

But then again, they really have had no official title. And sex once a month? Is she sure she wasn't just some fuck buddy he had around? That's another dur red flag- no official title/proclamation of exclusivity. He may be wandering because his buddy is fulfilling that emotional space and he has no use for her at the moment. I wouldn't be surprised if his guy friend were to disappear that the Libra would come back in full force.

Regardless, the entire situation is strange and she needs to do what's necessary for her own emotional wellbeing.

...which I doubt will happen. She's allowed herself to "be there" for several years without a title. For all we know, he's never seen them as "together" and she has.
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Adina
@Cataleya
13 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 50 · Topics: 13
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by PVandJellay
Maybe he's too selfish to end things with your friend, and is simply hoping she will dump him instead. A year is a long time to be in a relationship no sex.



I wouldn't be surprised. It's almost a classic Libra dude move to behave like a douche to get her to do the breaking up so he doesn't have to be the bad guy.

But this is where the question of sexuality comes into play. Some of these guys will tolerate a relationship until they have a plan B, and then they'll bail when it becomes viable. As they say, guys like this always have someone waiting in the wings to take over. BUT if this guy is a hypothetical "person in the wings" then why is he still with her?

I mean everything that has been given points to him not really being in a relationship with her.

But then again, they really have had no official title. And sex once a month? Is she sure she wasn't just some fuck buddy he had around? That's another dur red flag- no official title/proclamation of exclusivity. He may be wandering because his buddy is fulfilling that emotional space and he has no use for her at the moment. I wouldn't be surprised if his guy friend were to disappear that the Libra would come back in full force.

Regardless, the entire situation is strange and she needs to do what's necessary for her own emotional wellbeing.

...which I doubt will happen. She's allowed herself to "be there" for several years without a title. For all we know, he's never seen them as "together" and she has.
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Oh I'm SOOO going to let her read this I been saying it for a while
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Adina
@Cataleya
13 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 50 · Topics: 13
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Posted by PVandJellay
Maybe he's too selfish to end things with your friend, and is simply hoping she will dump him instead. A year is a long time to be in a relationship no sex.





I wouldn't be surprised. It's almost a classic Libra dude move to behave like a douche to get her to do the breaking up so he doesn't have to be the bad guy.

But this is where the question of sexuality comes into play. Some of these guys will tolerate a relationship until they have a plan B, and then they'll bail when it becomes viable. As they say, guys like this always have someone waiting in the wings to take over. BUT if this guy is a hypothetical "person in the wings" then why is he still with her?

I mean everything that has been given points to him not really being in a relationship with her.

But then again, they really have had no official title. And sex once a month? Is she sure she wasn't just some fuck buddy he had around? That's another dur red flag- no official title/proclamation of exclusivity. He may be wandering because his buddy is fulfilling that emotional space and he has no use for her at the moment. I wouldn't be surprised if his guy friend were to disappear that the Libra would come back in full force.

Regardless, the entire situation is strange and she needs to do what's necessary for her own emotional wellbeing.

...which I doubt will happen. She's allowed herself to "be there" for several years without a title. For all we know, he's never seen them as "together" and she has.
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I have read and re-read and re-read this I think all day. Cataleya made me read it. My name is shelly I'm the friend she is referring to. I have read many post on here all day long actually. Im not the strong one like cataleya she is a no nonsense chick. I love hard and fell hard for Matt. He was exactly what I wanted. Cat told me a many times if a guy isn't sexing you he is either sexing another woman or man. I'm just confused on how a guy can act like this and why. I mean I've done so much for him and have always been honest with him. Out of respect for me why not just tell me. I see Cat and her guy working out even through his BS he's done but Matt idk he won't get a grip. Here is it now 1 in the morning and I'm still sitting here dazed and confused. I k
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Well you clearly cannot rely on him to do the right thing for both of you, so now it's up to you. He clearly doesn't take your feelings/time/wellbeing into consideration so you need to do it yourself.

He's taken advantage of you and your tendencies and now it's time for you to let him know you won't be tolerating it anymore. That's the reason it's gone on for so long- you've tolerated it and allowed him to behave like this by staying.
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Adina
@Cataleya
13 Years

Comments: 2 · Posts: 50 · Topics: 13
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Well you clearly cannot rely on him to do the right thing for both of you, so now it's up to you. He clearly doesn't take your feelings/time/wellbeing into consideration so you need to do it yourself.

He's taken advantage of you and your tendencies and now it's time for you to let him know you won't be tolerating it anymore. That's the reason it's gone on for so long- you've tolerated it and allowed him to behave like this by staying.



Your right and I have a stupid question I'm trying to make me a profile so I won't have to use Cats but how do I get my password?
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rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts

Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Posted by Cataleya
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Well you clearly cannot rely on him to do the right thing for both of you, so now it's up to you. He clearly doesn't take your feelings/time/wellbeing into consideration so you need to do it yourself.

He's taken advantage of you and your tendencies and now it's time for you to let him know you won't be tolerating it anymore. That's the reason it's gone on for so long- you've tolerated it and allowed him to behave like this by staying.



Your right and I have a stupid question I'm trying to make me a profile so I won't have to use Cats but how do I get my password?
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It gets sent to your email.