rockyroadicecream
@rockyroadicecream
13 Years10,000+ Posts
Comments: 1243 · Posts: 16617 · Topics: 170
Leo woman confused about Libra man.
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Thank you that made me feel better! It's amazing how the words o a total stranger can lift your spirits. I think he just wanted casual sex as well, but my self esteem is too high to let anyone use me in that way. I am not comfortable with a strictly sexual relationship & nothing more. Men should be open and honest about wanting sex only upfront. Wooing her and pretending you care hurts her in the end. If you tell her & she later gets attached it's not your fault, but just going distant on her is weak. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
Superhero, I hear you & partially agree with your viewpoint on why things could have went sideways. However, I did start to initiate things with him when I thought I may be giving the wrong signals. I'd call him and say "what are you doing Sunday I want to cook for you." I would tell him I missed him from time to time & I would stroke his ego when he was in my presence. Nothing seemed to turn things around.
Also, maybe the 6 years thing gave you an embellished impression of his pursuits of me. It wasn't 6 years straight. Lol but it started when he was 18 & a freshman in college I was 20 and a junior. He tried every so often when he thought he may have a better chance. In between time he was dating other women, not just hung up on me.
I can't help but think that maybe for him it was just a conquest & after he had conquered me, there was nothing else to do. It was over, so he lost interest. & if it's not just about sex, why is that the only time I really hear from him now a days? (Or before I broke it off?)
Also, maybe the 6 years thing gave you an embellished impression of his pursuits of me. It wasn't 6 years straight. Lol but it started when he was 18 & a freshman in college I was 20 and a junior. He tried every so often when he thought he may have a better chance. In between time he was dating other women, not just hung up on me.
I can't help but think that maybe for him it was just a conquest & after he had conquered me, there was nothing else to do. It was over, so he lost interest. & if it's not just about sex, why is that the only time I really hear from him now a days? (Or before I broke it off?)
I did write that he "stalked" me for 6 years. Lol but that was just some of my leo dramatics! He just made it clear every so often that he was still interested.
Wow! You're making a lot of sense! Maybe something about me threw him off & he thought maybe she's not "the girl for me" well we can still f $ &@. Lol well I'm not altogether sure what I did that could have turned him off so abruptly, but I wish I did so I could know for next time.
Posted by JBG
Thank you that made me feel better! It's amazing how the words o a total stranger can lift your spirits. I think he just wanted casual sex as well, but my self esteem is too high to let anyone use me in that way. I am not comfortable with a strictly sexual relationship & nothing more. Men should be open and honest about wanting sex only upfront. Wooing her and pretending you care hurts her in the end. If you tell her & she later gets attached it's not your fault, but just going distant on her is weak. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
I don't think he set out for this to be casual sex in the first place. It's just what he realized that's what this would be for him, hence the sudden change.
That's where men and women are different- women would see that this isn't going where they want to and end it in whatever way, shape, or form they choose (right or wrong).
Guys would see this as it's not going where they want it to and either continue milking it for what they want, or end it in some way, shape, or form (right or wrong). Not to say that women aren't capable of using guys in situations like this, but guys are more likely to keep a woman around for their own needs until something else comes along.
Should they be honest? Yes, and some are. But a lot aren't. They know if they're that forward it risks the chance of not getting it in the first place, so they kinda hide their intentions. And then some may not be as focused on that goal as others, but when it happens, they'll gladly take it, you know?
Consider this dude a learning experience. The next time a guy moves THAT fast and is THAT hot and heavy right out of the gate, don't put out as fast (or if you do, be prepared for the potential consequences). Generally, when guys move that fast and turn it on hard core in such a short amount of time, they're likely to go the opposite just as fast. It's a general red flag in dating, overall.
I really wish he would have told me what the offense was. It may have been a total misunderstanding that we could have worked through. I really liked him, so if u upset him with my actions I would have apologized & not done it again. Not knowing drives me nuts. If I wasn't into him I wouldn't care so much.
Does anyone think we could reconnect later down the line and make things work? Or is that far fetched? I'm really into this guy... 😢
Posted by AesmaPosted by JBG
Does anyone think we could reconnect later down the line and make things work? Or is that far fetched? I'm really into this guy... 😢
Work in what way? Have a real committed relationship or FWB kinda deal?
Committed one - a bit too far-fetched at this point. He's already pulling away. I know how to catch a drifting fish but I don't know how to catch a flighty Libran.
FWB is easy, no strings attached there but don't do this if you do want a relationship with this guy WITH feelings involved. You'll just set yourself up for disaster. Your ego but be bruised BADLY.
That's one thing I need to think about, I need to consider all possibilities.click to expand
Yes a committed relationship. I can't do fwb which is the reason I broke things off in the first place. Since nothing major happened I thought maybe he just was going through common libra indecisiveness and could possibly come back more serious after he's had a good while to sort things out.
We def had good chemistry, & he was obviously attracted & I think I did more than enough catering to him and giving affection to let him know I was in. Don't get caught up in the face that I said I didn't call and text too much, bc when he was with me I treated him like royalty. Loads of affection, tons of compliments, when I cooked for him I served him.
I felt like maybe timing could have been off. He mentioned to me before that relationships were like a full time job & that he didn't want one immediately. I felt like maybe I should let him go, and when he matures and weighs his options maybe we could go for round 2. & I'm not talking about a month or 2, I'm talking about really giving him time. Bc he must have liked something about me, I just feel like maybe he wasn't ready for a serious relationship & I'm not ok with fwb.
Posted by size zero superheroPosted by JBG
Does anyone think we could reconnect later down the line and make things work? Or is that far fetched? I'm really into this guy... 😢
...yet they say LIBRAS are indecisive 😛
I think it's reasonable to expect that at some juncture, you 2 could patch things up to the point of enjoying a platonic friendship again. Consider allowing for down-time so his ego can recuperate a bit before you reach out to him though.
Libras like to be on friendly terms with our exes/former flames unless the end of said relationship was UGLY. Which doesn't seem to be the case here.click to expand
Do you think my breaking it iff kinda hurt his pride? I thought maybe it could, but he was so cool and aloof about it I wasn't sure...
Here we go... another Leo that's going to fixate on a dude who used her and moved along...
Posted by rockyroadicecream
Here we go... another Leo that's going to fixate on a dude who used her and moved along...
Ouch! Kinda harsh, but that's ok. Honestly I tend to fixate on any situation that doesn't go well & I have no reasons as to why it didn't. This includes work, friendships, family relations and romantic involvements. That's just how I am. He didn't give me answers so I'm searching from a forum I found to be quite friendly.
Furthermore, he did not leave me, I ended things bc I did not like how I was being treated. I give myself a ton of credit, bc a lot of women are moved by their hearts, & even though they aren't getting what they need from a relationship they stay bc they are attached. I'm attached, but I think too highly of myself to sit and complain about a situation when I can do something about it. "people only do to you what you let them"
I'm strong & I won't let your comment make me feel any other way about myself. Even if I am still thinking about him.
JBG, when I read your story I thought I was reading my own. This happened to me with my Leo ex. Please take note of Rocky's advice here. Young guys do not know wtf they want and they usually want different things to a woman. You are now thinking that its something you did/did not do when in fact as Rocky says you did nothing wrong.
He got sex - relatively quickly - and he's now moved on, possibly to someone else who has got his attention. I know its painful to hear this but I went through exactly the same thing. Its not just sign-exclusive, its just how some guys are. He goes distant, he's pulled away, he's actually moved on that's it. It's a massive dent to your ego (I know) especially if you get pulled in with their apparent declarations of their feelings, usually initiated by them first (which I also know) and then they pull away with no mature explanation and there's no proper closure for you (which again I also know!) and you are left thinking should I contact him again/maybe its me/maybe I can salvage something (again, I knoooowwwww!!!)
Don't put yourself through it. You said what you wanted to say to him. Don't go back to him with texts etc. It hurts; it hurts your pride, it hurts your ego, it hurts your self esteem - God, it hurts me to read your story coz I have had it played out too. I know exactly how you feel, but you're not going to get a relationship with this guy. Cut all contact and move on; get him out of your head, keep busy, get a life. Sorry for the reality check ... but did I mention - I KNOW!!!!
He got sex - relatively quickly - and he's now moved on, possibly to someone else who has got his attention. I know its painful to hear this but I went through exactly the same thing. Its not just sign-exclusive, its just how some guys are. He goes distant, he's pulled away, he's actually moved on that's it. It's a massive dent to your ego (I know) especially if you get pulled in with their apparent declarations of their feelings, usually initiated by them first (which I also know) and then they pull away with no mature explanation and there's no proper closure for you (which again I also know!) and you are left thinking should I contact him again/maybe its me/maybe I can salvage something (again, I knoooowwwww!!!)
Don't put yourself through it. You said what you wanted to say to him. Don't go back to him with texts etc. It hurts; it hurts your pride, it hurts your ego, it hurts your self esteem - God, it hurts me to read your story coz I have had it played out too. I know exactly how you feel, but you're not going to get a relationship with this guy. Cut all contact and move on; get him out of your head, keep busy, get a life. Sorry for the reality check ... but did I mention - I KNOW!!!!
as a fellow leo woman who just broke up with my libra ex i totally understand what you are going through. I say count your blessings! It seems like you'll might have only had sex once at least you wasn't in a long term relationship(like the rest of us) and felt used, lied to, and the occasional coldness. Thing is he WILL try to have sex with you again and it will be hard to resist but always tell your self if you do it you got to deal with the worse case scenario that he only might want just sex. Damn good luck! Cause I'm STILL trying to get over mine JESUS!!!! 😢
Also, I have over and over again thought about what could i have done better or differently. Or maybe i should have done this or done that and at the end of the day you can't figure out what someone else is thinking. If he cared or wanted to change then he would have or will. I know us leo women have problems with this because we desperately want things to work and be great, but unless someone is one the same page completely you can't do it alone. but don't jeopardize your principals to have some boy in your life.
Aries girl, thank you. I think I knew this all along but my pride doesn't want to believe it.
Mizunderstood, how old are you & your libra ex?
Mizunderstood, how old are you & your libra ex?
Posted by JBG
Aries girl, thank you. I think I knew this all along but my pride doesn't want to believe it.
Mizunderstood, how old are you & your libra ex?
were older both 35. We had a serious relationship but i know you're dealing with a young one but i feel its all the same. If you're indecisive and play games at any age you will have the same problems
were older both 35. We had a serious relationship but i know you're dealing with a young one but i feel its all the same. If you're indecisive and play games at any age you will have the same problems
Any kids? How long did it take him to commit? How long were y'all in a relationship? (I'm southern) hehe
Any kids? How long did it take him to commit? How long were y'all in a relationship? (I'm southern) hehe
Posted by JBG
were older both 35. We had a serious relationship but i know you're dealing with a young one but i feel its all the same. If you're indecisive and play games at any age you will have the same problems
Any kids? How long did it take him to commit? How long were y'all in a relationship? (I'm southern) hehe
We have no kids together and our relationship went VERY fast. I will say in three weeks we were in a relationship. together for a year, but argued the last six months of it. He lied about so much shit it was ridiculous. There was no more trust in the relationship from my side. Everything you said about trying to do more and feeling insecure because of his treatment towards you. Been there! I still have issues with it thinking I wasn't a better gf even though i put my all into for a selfish ass person.
@Aesma lol damn sounds similar to mine. I will say i never dealt with the "coming up missing for days or weeks" in him but I think it was only because he had forced responsibility at home. But I'm sure he would. mine were a day here or there. What was funny was they never think they have patterns. He would avoid me all day so he would do whatever he wanted and then call the next day and lie and say he was sleep. SMDH!!!! He was so unstable that I constantly would go to the doctor to make sure he didn't give me anything. Those people who don't have self control or conscious about what their doing especially when someone is trying to be everything to them.
Then you get the lets be friends. I see a lot of people staying friends with their libra ex's how do you'll do this—? Cause I have so much dislike for this dude but i still care too. sigh!!! I pray everyday that God will let me stop thinking about this fool. I even tried online dating and then i seen him on there and it frustrated me and i realize I'm not ready for another situation even though i feel lonely 😢
Then you get the lets be friends. I see a lot of people staying friends with their libra ex's how do you'll do this—? Cause I have so much dislike for this dude but i still care too. sigh!!! I pray everyday that God will let me stop thinking about this fool. I even tried online dating and then i seen him on there and it frustrated me and i realize I'm not ready for another situation even though i feel lonely 😢
Posted by Aesma
JBG, mine lasted 6 years. Late teens to early 20s. Obviously he didn't want a commitment then. I held on that long because I couldn't accept he was treating me like crap. I nursed my ego and I wanted him to make up for always giving me the hot and cold treatment.
There are times he wouldn't call me for 2 weeks then he'd just suddenly show up or times when he'd say he'd sleep but then a friend would tell me he's at some strip club drinking and getting lap dances. After we broke up for good, I found out about the string of women he hooked up with and those were the times he wouldn't talk to me for 2 weeks.
The cycle of saying 'sorry' he'll do better only lasted two weeks to a few months then he did it again. You wouln't want to put up with that. It'd break you.
Wow! Maybe I dodged a bullet. It's the not knowing that leaves me feeling badly. What do y'all think his reaction will be when I see him at the ball? Aloof? We haven't talked in 10 days & I'm nervous about seeing him.
Posted by MIZUNDERSTOOD
@Aesma lol damn sounds similar to mine. I will say i never dealt with the "coming up missing for days or weeks" in him but I think it was only because he had forced responsibility at home. But I'm sure he would. mine were a day here or there. What was funny was they never think they have patterns. He would avoid me all day so he would do whatever he wanted and then call the next day and lie and say he was sleep. SMDH!!!! He was so unstable that I constantly would go to the doctor to make sure he didn't give me anything. Those people who don't have self control or conscious about what their doing especially when someone is trying to be everything to them.
Then you get the lets be friends. I see a lot of people staying friends with their libra ex's how do you'll do this—? Cause I have so much dislike for this dude but i still care too. sigh!!! I pray everyday that God will let me stop thinking about this fool. I even tried online dating and then i seen him on there and it frustrated me and i realize I'm not ready for another situation even though i feel lonely 😢
I'm sorry you feel this way! But us leos are strong! You'll get through this! I promise 🙂 I've found my best match is with Leo actually! Ever dated one?
Aesma, who finally broke it off?
Yeah I know I am, its just when i invest love, time, and feelings in someone its hard for me to just move on quickly, but once i do I'm good. He's just harder because i thought we were going to have a future. As far as leo go lol never "dated" one always had fwb with them. They are the best fwb tho lol idk about dealing with two leks in a relationship...hmmmm
Posted by AriesGirl74
JBG, when I read your story I thought I was reading my own. This happened to me with my Leo ex. Please take note of Rocky's advice here. Young guys do not know wtf they want and they usually want different things to a woman. You are now thinking that its something you did/did not do when in fact as Rocky says you did nothing wrong.
He got sex - relatively quickly - and he's now moved on, possibly to someone else who has got his attention. I know its painful to hear this but I went through exactly the same thing. Its not just sign-exclusive, its just how some guys are. He goes distant, he's pulled away, he's actually moved on that's it. It's a massive dent to your ego (I know) especially if you get pulled in with their apparent declarations of their feelings, usually initiated by them first (which I also know) and then they pull away with no mature explanation and there's no proper closure for you (which again I also know!) and you are left thinking should I contact him again/maybe its me/maybe I can salvage something (again, I knoooowwwww!!!)
Don't put yourself through it. You said what you wanted to say to him. Don't go back to him with texts etc. It hurts; it hurts your pride, it hurts your ego, it hurts your self esteem - God, it hurts me to read your story coz I have had it played out too. I know exactly how you feel, but you're not going to get a relationship with this guy. Cut all contact and move on; get him out of your head, keep busy, get a life. Sorry for the reality check ... but did I mention - I KNOW!!!!
Posted by JBG
Ouch! Kinda harsh, but that's ok. Honestly I tend to fixate on any situation that doesn't go well & I have no reasons as to why it didn't. This includes work, friendships, family relations and romantic involvements. That's just how I am. He didn't give me answers so I'm searching from a forum I found to be quite friendly.
Furthermore, he did not leave me, I ended things bc I did not like how I was being treated. I give myself a ton of credit, bc a lot of women are moved by their hearts, & even though they aren't getting what they need from a relationship they stay bc they are attached. I'm attached, but I think too highly of myself to sit and complain about a situation when I can do something about it. "people only do to you what you let them"
I'm strong & I won't let your comment make me feel any other way about myself. Even if I am still thinking about him.
Yeah, but I said that because we've seen this before on this forum. Leo women are obsessive when it comes to this and they fixate to the point of irrationality. Knowing you have this much bs going on in these early, baby stages of dating isn't really a green is go scenario where you should pursue this further, regardless. Chalk it up as a loss and move on. You'll end up pursing because your ego couldn't tolerate being turned down and YOU aren't done with this situation.
Spoiler alert- does not end well. Just sayin'.
Do what you gotta do to get through the process, but this wishful thinking of future plans with this guy- WHY? He clearly isn't relationship material and you two are not on the same page in what either of you want.
I will never understand why women want to chase something that ended long before it even started. :/
Posted by AesmaPosted by MIZUNDERSTOOD
@Aesma lol damn sounds similar to mine. I will say i never dealt with the "coming up missing for days or weeks" in him but I think it was only because he had forced responsibility at home. But I'm sure he would. mine were a day here or there. What was funny was they never think they have patterns. He would avoid me all day so he would do whatever he wanted and then call the next day and lie and say he was sleep. SMDH!!!! He was so unstable that I constantly would go to the doctor to make sure he didn't give me anything. Those people who don't have self control or conscious about what their doing especially when someone is trying to be everything to them.
Then you get the lets be friends. I see a lot of people staying friends with their libra ex's how do you'll do this—? Cause I have so much dislike for this dude but i still care too. sigh!!! I pray everyday that God will let me stop thinking about this fool. I even tried online dating and then i seen him on there and it frustrated me and i realize I'm not ready for another situation even though i feel lonely 😢
Lool that 'I fell asleep' excuse was his fave line too.
Funny, I heard that "fell asleep" excuse quite often, too.
Posted by JBG
Wow! Maybe I dodged a bullet. It's the not knowing that leaves me feeling badly. What do y'all think his reaction will be when I see him at the ball? Aloof? We haven't talked in 10 days & I'm nervous about seeing him.click to expand
This is what you do- do not give a fuck. Seriously. You go there, you have fun, and you just act like his presence doesn't bother you the least bit. If he approaches and wants to talk, fine. Keep it light and casual. You don't have to be cold or avoidant, but you should act like none of it matters and keep it all civil.
@Aesma I too played my part. I sometimes feel like he could bring out the best and worse in me. I was so unstable breaking up and getting back together. I NEVER done that in a relationship before him. He would get me so mad! I was verbally abusive to mine, i would say some cruel things to him that I felt bad about because I know those things stay with people. He always said I can say some hurtful things, but he always did hurthful things. I guess we just hurt each other. I dont want anyone else that can bring that negative emotion out of me like that ever again. I have to take my part in it too.
Posted by AesmaPosted by rockyroadicecream
Funny, I heard that "fell asleep" excuse quite often, too.
We should make a list here of typical leeb excuses. LOLclick to expand
hahahahahah!!!! excuses and lies. if so i have quite a few.
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by JBG
Ouch! Kinda harsh, but that's ok. Honestly I tend to fixate on any situation that doesn't go well & I have no reasons as to why it didn't. This includes work, friendships, family relations and romantic involvements. That's just how I am. He didn't give me answers so I'm searching from a forum I found to be quite friendly.
Furthermore, he did not leave me, I ended things bc I did not like how I was being treated. I give myself a ton of credit, bc a lot of women are moved by their hearts, & even though they aren't getting what they need from a relationship they stay bc they are attached. I'm attached, but I think too highly of myself to sit and complain about a situation when I can do something about it. "people only do to you what you let them"
I'm strong & I won't let your comment make me feel any other way about myself. Even if I am still thinking about him.
Yeah, but I said that because we've seen this before on this forum. Leo women are obsessive when it comes to this and they fixate to the point of irrationality. Knowing you have this much bs going on in these early, baby stages of dating isn't really a green is go scenario where you should pursue this further, regardless. Chalk it up as a loss and move on. You'll end up pursing because your ego couldn't tolerate being turned down and YOU aren't done with this situation.
Spoiler alert- does not end well. Just sayin'.
Do what you gotta do to get through the process, but this wishful thinking of future plans with this guy- WHY? He clearly isn't relationship material and you two are not on the same page in what either of you want.
I will never understand why women want to chase something that ended long before it even started. :/click to expand
Lol you're right about the ego thing. Honestly I've been wondering to myself if I really like him as much as I think I do or is it just bc he doesn't like me? Bc I swear I liked him before but it wasn't that pressing to me until he went cold on me. Before I could pretty much take him or leave him. & I've always left people, I've only been left once. I think leos are controlling like that. We have huge egos and we don't like to feel like we are not in control of a situation.
Posted by AesmaPosted by MIZUNDERSTOOD
@Aesma lol damn sounds similar to mine. I will say i never dealt with the "coming up missing for days or weeks" in him but I think it was only because he had forced responsibility at home.
I forgot to say it was easy for him to pull this off because he had a band and they play in different cities. I didn't think about him cheating because he was with our mutual friends so I 'assumed' they'd tell me if something fishy was going on. So when I found out everything, I was hurt by what he did and what my so-called 'friends' did too. They all said nobody had the heart to tell me because they knew I'd be hurt.
So when that relationship ended, I dumped all of them. What's worse was, the Gemini friend I was close to admitted to me that she kissed him one time we were in a party. I was fucking there, she dragged him in a room and kissed him. She said she always liked my ex but he was never into her. Who the fuck does that shit to your own 'friend'?
That relationship brought the worst in me. I became so angry and even resorted to physical abuse. One thing I liked about him though is he never hit me back even when he ended up bleeding and bruised. He'd just keep defending. It got THAT bad. My anger was uncontrollable. That was one of the worst physical abuse I did to him. I was mortified. I didn't like myself anymore. I felt like I was a monster. Now that's a part of me that I don't want to resurface ever again. I'm still scared of that tendency.
So you see, it wasn't just all on him. I played a major part in it too. I'm even surprised he put up with it for 6 years as well. Probably the 'battered husband syndrome' or something. He was utterly abused emotionally and physically but he still kept coming back to hurt me. Then I just kept getting mad even more! It has become a cycle of abuse on both parts.click to expand
Wow! That's funny bc once my libra was looking at women on ig commenting on how fine they were & I just reached back & slapped him right across his back! Not too hard but hard enough to let him know I didn't like what he was doing! Y'all all these guys can't be bad, i don't think God would have made a group of men who just "couldn't" settle down with a woman. Like who is a libras ideal woman? There's gotta be a woman who can tame them!
Guys come to think if it, I dated a libra before this! Idk why this is just coming to mind. He didn't want to settle when I wanted, but I hung around for a couple years anyways. But as soon as he got an engineering job, he called me and told me he was ready. He'd always told me that he didn't want to settle until he was good in his career. He had a girlfriend before me & NEVER cheated. What's the difference?
The one I broke it off with also had a venus in scorpio but I never saw the intensity of this. He would get jealous here & there but he was passive about it...like a libra. I wanted so badly to see/feel that intensity. Leos are good people but we are kinda PSYCHO. Not stalk you like a scorpio psycho, but I really like when men are possessive & jealous! Not abusive! & I get off on the thought of a lover being obsessed with me. It does something for my ego. So I really wanted to feel that scorpio energy from him before it was all said and done.
Posted by JBG
Lol you're right about the ego thing. Honestly I've been wondering to myself if I really like him as much as I think I do or is it just bc he doesn't like me? Bc I swear I liked him before but it wasn't that pressing to me until he went cold on me. Before I could pretty much take him or leave him. & I've always left people, I've only been left once. I think leos are controlling like that. We have huge egos and we don't like to feel like we are not in control of a situation.
I know. I've listened to many a Leo female vent about relationship stuff and you guys get borderline crazy when it comes to this stuff. Makes me want to headdesk.
I think it's just a classic case of "I want what I can't have," tbh.
Oh there was a reason he's just not direct enough to say it, Libra??s are always really excited about a person in the beginning, but then they can change their mind about you really fast, and they can change it back. My childhood Aries crush was smitten by me, I liked him too but not as much as he liked me because like you said, I wasn't really impressed at first. Then out of nowhere we started spending all this time together and before I knew it we switched roles, I was madly in love, and he was backing away slowly, I now know that it was because our communication took a huge hit and the more I loved him the higher my expectations were of him and he didn't like it so he backed off in an effort to stop disappointing me.
Anyway, I??ve noticed that when I think I really like someone at first I end up not liking them so much later. But when I don't really like them at first, it forces me to take my time to get to know them and I end up really really liking them. In your case it seems like he just lost interest for the moment. I say for the moment because he may change his mind again, but don't hold your breath because it's a never ending cycle until you say enough is enough.
Anyway, I??ve noticed that when I think I really like someone at first I end up not liking them so much later. But when I don't really like them at first, it forces me to take my time to get to know them and I end up really really liking them. In your case it seems like he just lost interest for the moment. I say for the moment because he may change his mind again, but don't hold your breath because it's a never ending cycle until you say enough is enough.
Posted by JBG
Superhero, I hear you & partially agree with your viewpoint on why things could have went sideways. However, I did start to initiate things with him when I thought I may be giving the wrong signals. I'd call him and say "what are you doing Sunday I want to cook for you." I would tell him I missed him from time to time & I would stroke his ego when he was in my presence. Nothing seemed to turn things around.
Also, maybe the 6 years thing gave you an embellished impression of his pursuits of me. It wasn't 6 years straight. Lol but it started when he was 18 & a freshman in college I was 20 and a junior. He tried every so often when he thought he may have a better chance. In between time he was dating other women, not just hung up on me.
I can't help but think that maybe for him it was just a conquest & after he had conquered me, there was nothing else to do. It was over, so he lost interest. & if it's not just about sex, why is that the only time I really hear from him now a days? (Or before I broke it off?)
You switched roles with him. Thats all. I dont really think it's all his fault. I do however feel for people that date or like a Libra after a Libra has somehow gone cold because they have lost interest for whatever reason. Libra's myself included really do need to learn how to speak out without worrying how it will make us look.
@pinklibra, I like your insight. Rocky has read me like a book though, it's my ego nothing more. But for some reason I STILL want to turn his view of me around! It's crazy! I want him to like me again, just like he did before. I'm scandalous! Any ideas how?
Don't get me wrong I did like him, but I think it's more ego than anything else.
Posted by JBG
Don't get me wrong I did like him, but I think it's more ego than anything else.
I know how you feel. I was the same way with the Aries. In fact I'm still weak in the knees when I see him, but he doesn't have that twinkle in his eye like he use to when he see's me. I mean his whole world used to light up when I was around. Now don't get me wrong, when he hasn't seen me in a while I can tell my presence has an effect on him, because he stares at me kind of like he use to but not quite.
Honestly I think the only way to get him back to how he was before is to go back to how you were before. Use your love for your ego as a reason to put up a thicker wall. Sadly I think men like this will only go back to how they were when they realize the woman is completely over them, but by then it may be too late for them. If I were you I??d keep my distance in effort not to damage your pride or ego any more than it already has. I have a Venus in Leo, so when I'm in love I'm just like you. Except when my ego gets hurt I have a tendency to go completely cold, I stop communicating my feelings, and I often confuse my partners on if I'm even still interested. Truth is, yes I'm still interested but I wont have you bruising my ego, and taking shots at my self-esteem that's nerve recking I??ll dip first. If you have found yourself to become weak, or confused when you are in his presence, then in my opinion it's best you keep away until you get a thick enough skin to handle whatever happens when your around him. Keep it low profile until you get your confidence back to the point where you careless about his feelings and more about your own. When dealing with men, in most cases you gotta put yourself first. Especially one that's sending mixed signals like this.
Posted by JBG
@pinklibra, I like your insight. Rocky has read me like a book though, it's my ego nothing more. But for some reason I STILL want to turn his view of me around! It's crazy! I want him to like me again, just like he did before. I'm scandalous! Any ideas how?
You keep acknowledging it's your ego, yet you're oh so worried about how he views you. Who the hell cares what he thinks of you at this point? He's not worth the time or the worry right now, tbh.
Girl my venus is in leo also! I'm so leo it's not even funny! So you kinda get where I'm coming from. Ok so my goal is to move on for me, but of he happens to notice and tries to come back, I will let that stroke my ego a bit. Lol
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by JBG
@pinklibra, I like your insight. Rocky has read me like a book though, it's my ego nothing more. But for some reason I STILL want to turn his view of me around! It's crazy! I want him to like me again, just like he did before. I'm scandalous! Any ideas how?
You keep acknowledging it's your ego, yet you're oh so worried about how he views you. Who the hell cares what he thinks of you at this point? He's not worth the time or the worry right now, tbh.click to expand
I'm crazy that's why. & I can't help it, I no longer try to.
@Rocky, are you a libra?
Posted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by JBG
Thank you that made me feel better! It's amazing how the words o a total stranger can lift your spirits. I think he just wanted casual sex as well, but my self esteem is too high to let anyone use me in that way. I am not comfortable with a strictly sexual relationship & nothing more. Men should be open and honest about wanting sex only upfront. Wooing her and pretending you care hurts her in the end. If you tell her & she later gets attached it's not your fault, but just going distant on her is weak. Say what you mean and mean what you say.
I don't think he set out for this to be casual sex in the first place. It's just what he realized that's what this would be for him, hence the sudden change.
That's where men and women are different- women would see that this isn't going where they want to and end it in whatever way, shape, or form they choose (right or wrong).
Guys would see this as it's not going where they want it to and either continue milking it for what they want, or end it in some way, shape, or form (right or wrong). Not to say that women aren't capable of using guys in situations like this, but guys are more likely to keep a woman around for their own needs until something else comes along.
Should they be honest? Yes, and some are. But a lot aren't. They know if they're that forward it risks the chance of not getting it in the first place, so they kinda hide their intentions. And then some may not be as focused on that goal as others, but when it happens, they'll gladly take it, you know?
Consider this dude a learning experience. The next time a guy moves THAT fast and is THAT hot and heavy right out of the gate, don't put out as fast (or if you do, be prepared for the potential consequences). Generally, when guys move that fast and turn it on hard core in such a short amount of time, they're likely to go the opposite just as fast. It's a general red flag in dating, overall.click to expand
+100
Learn to pull the brakes. Don't let the guy be in control of the ride YOU have to be. That means no matter how fast he wants to go you take it slow. IME taking it slow usually weeds out the assholes, who's just in it for the short run, from the good guys, who's genuinely interested and is in it for something more.
You didn'
*You didn't do anything wrong. As rocky said just learn from this.
Posted by JBGPosted by rockyroadicecreamPosted by JBG
@pinklibra, I like your insight. Rocky has read me like a book though, it's my ego nothing more. But for some reason I STILL want to turn his view of me around! It's crazy! I want him to like me again, just like he did before. I'm scandalous! Any ideas how?
You keep acknowledging it's your ego, yet you're oh so worried about how he views you. Who the hell cares what he thinks of you at this point? He's not worth the time or the worry right now, tbh.
I'm crazy that's why. & I can't help it, I no longer try to.click to expand
In the long run this incident in your life is going to be a fart in the wind (so to speak) in the greater scheme of your life. Who cares what some asshole thinks of you. All that matters at the end of the day is what you think of yourself and getting someone think better of you won't make YOU feel better about you. Work on that first and everything else will fall into place, I promise 😉.
Posted by JBG
Girl my venus is in leo also! I'm so leo it's not even funny! So you kinda get where I'm coming from. Ok so my goal is to move on for me, but of he happens to notice and tries to come back, I will let that stroke my ego a bit. Lol
Be very, VERY careful with that. I have seen this before and when the girl tries to the revenge tactic when they guy comes back around he pulls another hit and run and she's left cleaning up the same mistake because she got caught up in the moment and thought "this time it's going to be different."
The best revenge is to just MOVE ON and not ever give him the time of day ever again.
Xtina, I thought I was pulling the brakes. By not always being available. Just bc I mentioned he wanted to see me everyday doesn't mean we did, I told him no several times & I didn't always answer when he called bc I was afraid of this happening actually. He would ask to just drop by my house & I would nicely deny him. I thought it was too much too soon. Me pumping the brake didn't work, he still bailed on me.
Posted by tiziani
You guys overthink everything. And this is coming from a Libra. That's how you know you're in trouble!
Guilty as charges!
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