Libra girl playing mind games with me?

Sorry this is long but here it goes

I have been friends with this libra girl for over 3 years. This spring she became single & gotten out of a 5 year relationship. One time I saw her at her work and she had bruises all over her and I feared someone was abusing her...possibly her ex. Eventually I began to develop feelings for her around the summer. I asked her out and she agreed to go out with me and my friends on my birthday, although it was just me and her for dinner before we did activities with friends. I tried asking her out again after a few days, named the day and time. Said she couldn't. Tried another time after that and then I got the hint...she didn't like me. This is where I made my first "big mistake" I told her my feelings I had for her, didn't want to play any more mind games. She broke down and started crying to my surprise. She didn't want to ruin the friendship. She said I was going to hate her now which I told her no and wiped the tears of her face. I left her alone for a month, gave her space. Came back she said she missed me, gave me a big hug, but I could tell she looked uncomfortable, so I took that as she hasn't changed her mind, just wants to be friends. We agreed to go back to being friends.

So I dialed it down and she dialed it down. After a few weeks go by I visited her again and her work(she is a waitress at a sports bar). She came and told me her sister's home had been burned down and was looking for donations. I asked members at my country club if they could help out and they donated over a thousand dollars. Another time I came her uncle passed away. Now this is where it gets interesting. She said bye to me twice that and hugged me twice and said I love you! Now I didn't think anything of it because she's going through a hard time and needs support. She's been writing cute I love you notes on my receipts which I didn't think anything of them because she did that before when we were friends. However she went on to do this 3 times in a row when I visited her work. 3 times in a row. You DONT reject someone and say I love you 3 weeks in a row, unless you've changed your mind. So I dialed it back up and "surprise" she starts acting cold again. So I got mad and pulled her off to the side, I was drunk and blew up at her. Felt like she wasn't respecting me like before. Tells me little white lies that I don't understand why she does, they're so easy to detect. Feel like she thinks I'm an idiot sometimes. I didn't yell because this was at her work. The convo didn't go well, this was the day before her birthday and for her present I had bought tickets to her favorite band which I told her now I wasn't taking her. She left mad, I left mad and banged the exit door on my way out.

After a week I felt bad. Concert was still a week away. I bought her flowers and had them delivered with an apology note on it. Was told they had been successfully shipped but no response from her. So I tried reaching her and she said she needed more time. I was devastated for what I had done. I gave her a couple weeks of space and then visited her work told her I was very sorry and she accepted the apology. I told her my feelings had come back, tried my best not to argue with her and pick a fight with her. She of course said she thought of me as a good friend but nothing more. I told her I didn't want to give up. I asked her why she doesn't like me more than that, told her to spit it out. She thought because I was emotional and therefore mentally weak. HA! Of course a libra would said that. So I told her goodbye but not forever and that if she wanted space...I'll give you space, made her watch me delete her number and her Facebook. Told her nothing personal just wanted to show I respect you. It's been a month and half since I've talked or seen her. I've noticed she's viewed a few of my snapchats every now and then. I liked one of her photos last night on Instagram and found this morning she blocked me. Wonder if that's retaliation for deleting her on Facebook.
So I'm asking if she's playing mind games with me? Does she really care about me at all? I like to be either friends or more with her. I agreed before to being friends with her and then you know what happened later. I'm seeing some of her libra traits: indecisive, and possibly mind games. Is there any way to get things back onto the positive side of things with her?

Sounds like games to me or at least significant emotional confusion/immaturity. I am not a flirty Libra though.

The fact that you have a lot of emotions doesn't make you weak minded (quite the opposite I believe), your inability to control them does. Showing out at her work is very bad taste, I can accept an occasional emotional fit...in private. Don't bring drama to my work. Banging the doorway and having her watch you delete her information is weak.

She is not playing mind games with you. You don't like her answer so you're ignoring it. She has told you repeatedly that she only wants to be friends. That doesn't mean try harder. If you cannot accept her feelings you wouldn't make a good friend anyway.

You cannot convince her to like you. If you want to get things positive with her, accept the fact that you will NEVER be more than friends, then be her friend. If you cannot let go of your unreturned feelings you're gonna just keep making it worse.

As I said earlier I agreed to go back to being friends with her at first. But weeks later she's saying I love you, hugging me and saying goodbye. She did that 3 visits in a row. She doesn't need to tell me she loves me "as a friend" if that's what she was doing. I know she does, so why are you telling it to me and cuddling me? How would expect me not to think you've changed your mind? Are you testing me? Teasing me?

Cuddling is a line I just wouldn't cross with a friend. I've transitioned from friend to dating several times. If it works, it flows smooth and natural. When one person wants more and the other doesn't, it usually spells the end of the friendship.

I have hugged and said I love you to a male friend. We're both straight. It's not every time I see him or nothing haha but not all physical contact or verbal affection is limited to romantic interests.

That's back to my saying I wouldn't cuddle with a friend. I've had friends before that wanted to just be friends but then continued to blur (or just jump right over) the lines.

You have to stop it. You know how they feel. You know how you feel. You know how you'll feel after certain actions (cuddling, candle lit dinner, sex). If any action would push your feelings into territory you know isn't welcome, it's your job to stop that action. That's where you draw your boundaries. Everyone's will be different. We're all different people. Maybe she can cuddle and not feel the way you do. That's why you gotta have your own boundaries and not just hope theirs match.

You've told her how you feel about her, she doesn't feel the same. Personally it would be hard for me to continue as a friend. The feelings aren't gonna go away and you're just gonna make it weird.

Posted by Cancer2448
As I said earlier I agreed to go back to being friends with her at first. But weeks later she's saying I love you, hugging me and saying goodbye. She did that 3 visits in a row. She doesn't need to tell me she loves me "as a friend" if that's what she was doing. I know she does, so why are you telling it to me and cuddling me? How would expect me not to think you've changed your mind? Are you testing me? Teasing me?

Am I right in thinking that you have no contact now? I would leave it at this point and see if she reaches out to you.

If she does get in touch, like Sid says, you need to have clear defined lines and boundaries in your mind. If she hugs you and tells you she loves you then you need to make it clear to her that those sort of things are inappropriate given your history of feelings towards her. That her behaviour makes things hard for you. If she meant them innocently, telling her that it makes you uncomfortable will in turn, make her feel awful and she will (should) stop.

Thanks jeane and everyone. A mutual friend of ours (Virgo girl) I just talked to also believes she shouldn't have said I love you after the history we had unfortunately. Ironically the Virgo girl and I say "I love you" to each other but we both know it's just as friends. I also agree i need to set boundaries in the future IF she reaches out to me. At this rate I doubt it. I haven't talked or seen her for 1.5 months. Been working out at the gym constantly 5-6 times a week. I hate being anyone's enemy, but doesn't look good in the future with this libra...even for friendship. So once again I'm prepared to move on.

@Tiziani Ha! Sure feels like it.

Hi Lust, well I've been working out 5-6 times at the gym and focusing on my self in the meantime like you told me. I've lost 12 lbs. I just don't like being anyone's enemy. So this will sting but it is what it is. I got confused with her sayings of "I love you!" But people there's a great reason why they say "Action speak louder than words." My fault for mistaking her words. Maybe one day we'll find peace again as friends.

5-6 times every week I mean

@justaleo well I obviously I know that now. But when you're in love especially by yourself, you can be blind and make poor decisions. I wish I hadn't done all of this, I dont want to be anyone's enemy.
I'll be honest at first yes I was working out because of her, guilty as charged. But now that it's been a month and a half, other girls are starting to notice I look different. My best friend that I hadn't seen since summer since he's in college says I look different so that's promising. Still feel I have work to do. Got a personal trainer helping me. So going to keep at it.
There's this Cancer girl I'm interested in now. Hopefully since im a water sign and she's a water sign; it'll work out if I can successfully ask her out. I guess I like libra girls because that's my rising sign therefore I find them attractive. But whatever

Posted by JustALeo

I mean she told you before friends only and a simple thing as her saying "I love you" made you go ape shit. From my experiences with Libra women, they're just open and very friendly like that. You would know if they like you more, they are flirty and friendly and not even think anything of it.

I think she's kind of a cookiemonster to say she just wanted to be friends but then be cuddly to him and cute and say I

Also congrats on the weight loss OP! And taking care of yourself and moving on. 🙂

Thank you, appreciate it very much. Yeah it's funny I have never had any problems with libras before til this one. I have four other good libra friends. Two of them girls, haven't known them as long as this one, and yes I've asked them out, taken them out. They both go to college still and are miles away so I won't see them until winter/summer breaks. They do act flirty/flighty but nowhere NEAR like this libra. I feel bad for this one because I think she's fallen off a cliff. She was a bright 4.0 student, and now can't pass any classes.

@Cancer2448, some of your behavior tactics in the beginning were a bit immature, but like you said, when you're in love or think you're in love you can act a little foolish until your eyes have been opened, but it sounds like she just has some serious emotional issues. As you can see by your other 4 Libran friends, all Libra females are different. Do you happen to know her other placements? I agree with everyone else here. She sounds very confusing and doesn't know what the heck she wants. However, I doubly agree with duchessLibro...sounds like she's playing mind games with you especially knowing how you really feel about her. She seems to be taking advantage of your feelings. If you haven't already, you may want to cut your losses on this one. She needs to get her shyt together. She probably won't realized how valuable your friendship was until after she's lost it.

@Lib4life Thank you for your reply. I'm not sure on her rising sign though but here it is.
Libra girl:
Rising sign: Leo
Moon: Taurus
Mercury: Scorpio
Venus: Scorpio
Mars: Cancer
Jupiter: Libra
Saturn: Aquarius
Uranus: Capricorn
Neptune: Capricorn
Pluto: Scorpio

Mine:
Rising sign: Libra
Moon: Scorpio
Mercury: Cancer
Venus: Cancer
Mars: Leo
Jupiter: Aries
Saturn: Saggittarius
Uranus: Saggittrius
Neptune: Capricorn
Pluto: Scorpio