Torn

I have a Gemini Ex who I went out with for 6 months last year, He broke up with me back in December last year. We still talk every day and we've been going through the toxic loop. I wanted to make things work. I laid everything out on the table and he always says he doesn't know what he wants but he can't stop talking or texting me so we decided to be friends but we were always more than just friends because we still have sex and sex is fantastic with him. At this point, I just want him to cop on because he doesn't want to move on and yet he doesn't want to make things better for us. I this morning I decided to leave him altogether.

On the other hand, since I wasn't in a relationship. This year technically speaking, I've started off as being single. Went on few dates and came across one guy. He's Aries. At the start, we were both just looking for casual dating as he's moving away to NY for a year. Long story short, I fell for him hard. But he's such a challenge. He also has this effect on me where I overthink everything when it comes to him because I like him so much. When he moved to NY last month, I was prepared to be single again even though I was super devasted. He ended up texting me every day and rining me. We got into a bad fight 2 weeks ago because he forgot my birthday and I made a deal about it but he knew it was more than that. I bottled things up with him because I wanted him to be happy. so we laid it all out and he got super mad at me for not telling him how I feel about him. Anyway, he knows I love him. but we never defined the relationship. I'm visiting him in 5 weeks and I can't wait but I don't think he's interested anymore. He's texting me less. I've confronted him before and he said he's stress because he's still looking for a job and get settled in etc..

I think the problem is me. I once had this perfect relationship with a Libra man 5 years ago and let me tell you I was stupid and I didn't treat him right. since then every relationship I've been in I always compared to the one I had with him. He would do anything for me.

I regret it everyday thinking back and wishing I could go back and treat him right. I'm not in love with the Libra ex anymore. I just miss the idea of being loved and loving someone,

I'm so tired of not being able to open up and connect with people. please tell me I'm not the only one.

Any one who's been through this, please tell me there's hope.