Accepting Love

It was the blunt truth of her words, that chokes me up.

Had a big problem in my late teens early twenties. Working on my self worked. Lots of self help books and understanding why I was feeling like that.

Still having problems trusting people but I don’t think it’s a problem for me anymore.

I always look for something lovable in every one especially what other people will think is there flaws. I think makes people more interesting. And I am sure I am not the only one that feels this way.

Posted by AneemA04
Fear could be one reason to make us difficult to receive love. Blockages that we created due to experiencing bad situations can also be the case.

But, please define your own happiness. I don't get the use of the word "potential" before happiness. It is as if happiness comes from outside whereas I believe it is all up to us to find happiness within ourselves.

What is your situation that made your friend commented that way, btw?

What I meant @AneemA04, was potential happiness regarding relationships and love. Of course, there are different layers to happiness. There is happiness that is found within, happiness found in succeeding in ones career, or happiness found in ones love of / for others. I believe all those various forms of happiness, each only make up parts of a greater whole.

We were discussing our past relationship experiences, wondering if they only failed not because of the other but because of our own doing. Talking about our mistakes, or potential mistakes, what we regretted, and what we would have changed, if we could etc. I never realised, part of why so many of my former connections with others failed was because I could not accept when someone wants to love me. Even when someone blatantly shows their love for me, and it did not matter how or what they did, I would push them away.

A defence mechanism, fear, inability to accept something good, etc. ?

I am not sure, but it is definitely instinctual.

The first thought that comes to my mind - 'Why' are they doing this ... what do they really want ?

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Posted by DeadInside
im already dead

Would death resolve the issue ? 😆

@LadyNeptune

10 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AneemA04
Fear could be one reason to make us difficult to receive love. Blockages that we created due to experiencing bad situations can also be the case.

But, please define your own happiness. I don't get the use of the word "potential" before happiness. It is as if happiness comes from outside whereas I believe it is all up to us to find happiness within ourselves.

What is your situation that made your friend commented that way, btw?

What I meant @AneemA04, was potential happiness regarding relationships and love. Of course, there are different layers to happiness. There is happiness that is found within, happiness found in succeeding in ones career, or happiness found in ones love of / for others. I believe all those various forms of happiness, each only make up parts of a greater whole.

We were discussing our past relationship experiences, wondering if they only failed not because of the other but because of our own doing. Talking about our mistakes, or potential mistakes, what we regretted, and what we would have changed, if we could etc. I never realised, part of why so many of my former connections with others failed was because I could not accept when someone wants to love me. Even when someone blatantly shows their love for me, and it did not matter how or what they did, I would push them away.

A defence mechanism, fear, inability to accept something good, etc. ?

I am not sure, but it is definitely instinctual.

The first thought that comes to my mind - 'Why' are they doing this ... what do they really want ?

click to expand

My sister is guilty of this. In her mind she wants to test their love so she pushes them away/creates conflict just to see how much they really love her.

Scorp Rising

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by AneemA04
Fear could be one reason to make us difficult to receive love. Blockages that we created due to experiencing bad situations can also be the case.

But, please define your own happiness. I don't get the use of the word "potential" before happiness. It is as if happiness comes from outside whereas I believe it is all up to us to find happiness within ourselves.

What is your situation that made your friend commented that way, btw?

What I meant @AneemA04, was potential happiness regarding relationships and love. Of course, there are different layers to happiness. There is happiness that is found within, happiness found in succeeding in ones career, or happiness found in ones love of / for others. I believe all those various forms of happiness, each only make up parts of a greater whole.

We were discussing our past relationship experiences, wondering if they only failed not because of the other but because of our own doing. Talking about our mistakes, or potential mistakes, what we regretted, and what we would have changed, if we could etc. I never realised, part of why so many of my former connections with others failed was because I could not accept when someone wants to love me. Even when someone blatantly shows their love for me, and it did not matter how or what they did, I would push them away.

A defence mechanism, fear, inability to accept something good, etc. ?

I am not sure, but it is definitely instinctual.

The first thought that comes to my mind - 'Why' are they doing this ... what do they really want ?

My sister is guilty of this. In her mind she wants to test their love so she pushes them away/creates conflict just to see how much they really love her.

Scorp Rising

click to expand

Hmm @LadyNeptune, I do not push proactively. More so, I shut down and go cold when the other wants something of me. Less so to create conflict, more so, to run away as it threatens my sense of security. When someone expresses love for me, it triggers vulnerability in me. That, creates all kinds of anxiety within.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.
click to expand

Therefore in your mind, anything before the first major argument would be meaningless ?

Anger is also volatile, violent and full of drama.

Posted by DeadInside

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by DeadInside
im already dead

Would death resolve the issue ? 😆

yes you wont be scared about anything. everything life gave you or take you worth nothing since you passed a long ago

l
click to expand

Would the inscription on my gravestone be - Killed by Love ? 😆

Posted by DeadInside

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by DeadInside

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by DeadInside
im already dead

Would death resolve the issue ? 😆

yes you wont be scared about anything. everything life gave you or take you worth nothing since you passed a long ago

l

Would the inscription on my gravestone be - Killed by Love ? 😆

by life

click to expand

That would be far too mundane. To continue with life it shall be then. 😆

@Mr_Pinchy

8 Years5,000+ Posts

Just LOL at this "i need the turmoil so i know it's real". It's a copout to treat people like shit because the person is lacking in courage.

Posted by Mr_Pinchy
Just LOL at this "i need the turmoil so i know it's real". It's a copout to treat people like shit because the person is lacking in courage.

An inability to accept love does not always automatically equate to purposely inflicted conflict. Certainly, some do, others just turn cold, and shut down, like I do.

How judgemental of you.

@Mr_Pinchy

8 Years5,000+ Posts

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

An inability to accept love does not always automatically equate to purposely inflicted conflict. Certainly, some do, others just turn cold, and shut down, like I do.

How judgemental of you.

You turn cold and shut down because of your debilitating fear of how will this guy fuck me up now, like the last guy did.

It is a weak outlook on the world at hand.

@AerialView

Posted by Seleukos
I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

#SaturnProblems

@saggurl88

13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.
click to expand

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

@saggurl88

13 Years25,000+ Posts

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.
click to expand

This makes sense. I take a lot of things literally, so I can actually picture you sitting in the basement better than I can picture arguing and accidentally hurting someone. 😂😜

On a side note- How often do you actually practice your evil laugh?? 😄

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.
click to expand

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.
click to expand

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

click to expand

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

It's you Aries thingy.

Be proud of that.
click to expand

😄 first time someone said that I should be proud about arguing 😄

Yes, it’s must be. I couldn’t have it any other way.

Have you had that problem?

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

It's you Aries thingy.

Be proud of that.

😄 first time someone said that I should be proud about arguing 😄

Yes, it’s must be. I couldn’t have it any other way.

Have you had that problem?

Of being too "aggressive"?
click to expand

Both.

How hard do you argue?

I argue pretty hard but very sort. And I like to forget fast and move on to a better place.

Have you had problems with people not wanting to argue in relationships?

9 Years1,000+ PostsCapricorn

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

It's you Aries thingy.

Be proud of that.

😄 first time someone said that I should be proud about arguing 😄

Yes, it’s must be. I couldn’t have it any other way.

Have you had that problem?

Of being too "aggressive"?

Both.

How hard do you argue?

I argue pretty hard but very sort. And I like to forget fast and move on to a better place.

Have you had problems with people not wanting to argue in relationships?

I argue pretty hard too as well as humorous and self-ironic but on top of that very coldhearted and analytical.

The last two things happen if I don't get and argumentative respond from the other person.

If I'm angry things are still great but once I turn silent, well, you just entered the dangerzone.

If they don't argue I just stop caring and that usually makes them pretty angry.

Excluding one case.
click to expand

That sounds exactly like me. Well maybe not the humorous. But it’s when I get silent that I am giving up and that is never good.

The same if they walk away trying to give me space. Wrong move. I need to argue until it becomes better.

But if they make them angry, don’t they argue then?

What was that one case?

@EtherealTraveler

Posted by TheLadyScorpio
Recently, in a conversation with a friend in regards to relationships and such. Suddenly, she hit me with a statement that still haunts me to the core. One of those revelations that went so deep, it stunned me.

"... cause you have trouble accepting someone might love (you), just to love (you)."

Does any one of you suffer from this predicament ?

If you do, how did you eventually come around it, before all potential happiness passes you by ?

Yes

It's a mixture of things, such as mild abandonment issues, heavy insecurity, natural distrust and the fact that the sins I committed wouldn't allow me to experience true happiness, for Karma exists.

Like we are what we attract. If I'm a serial liar, I must be attracting liars and people that flatter and kiss my ass for different objectives.

I still haven't overcame it yet.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

It's you Aries thingy.

Be proud of that.

😄 first time someone said that I should be proud about arguing 😄

Yes, it’s must be. I couldn’t have it any other way.

Have you had that problem?

Of being too "aggressive"?

Both.

How hard do you argue?

I argue pretty hard but very sort. And I like to forget fast and move on to a better place.

Have you had problems with people not wanting to argue in relationships?

I argue pretty hard too as well as humorous and self-ironic but on top of that very coldhearted and analytical.

The last two things happen if I don't get and argumentative respond from the other person.

If I'm angry things are still great but once I turn silent, well, you just entered the dangerzone.

If they don't argue I just stop caring and that usually makes them pretty angry.

Excluding one case.

That sounds exactly like me. Well maybe not the humorous. But it’s when I get silent that I am giving up and that is never good.

The same if they walk away trying to give me space. Wrong move. I need to argue until it becomes better.

But if they make them angry, don’t they argue then?

What was that one case?

Most of them start arguing, yes.

The exception was the seven year Gemini.

She just said yes to everything and nothing changed.
click to expand

So with this gem was the only relationship that you didn’t need to argue you mean?

How did you resolve issues?

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

It's you Aries thingy.

Be proud of that.

😄 first time someone said that I should be proud about arguing 😄

Yes, it’s must be. I couldn’t have it any other way.

Have you had that problem?

Of being too "aggressive"?

Both.

How hard do you argue?

I argue pretty hard but very sort. And I like to forget fast and move on to a better place.

Have you had problems with people not wanting to argue in relationships?

I argue pretty hard too as well as humorous and self-ironic but on top of that very coldhearted and analytical.

The last two things happen if I don't get and argumentative respond from the other person.

If I'm angry things are still great but once I turn silent, well, you just entered the dangerzone.

If they don't argue I just stop caring and that usually makes them pretty angry.

Excluding one case.

That sounds exactly like me. Well maybe not the humorous. But it’s when I get silent that I am giving up and that is never good.

The same if they walk away trying to give me space. Wrong move. I need to argue until it becomes better.

But if they make them angry, don’t they argue then?

What was that one case?

Most of them start arguing, yes.

The exception was the seven year Gemini.

She just said yes to everything and nothing changed.

So with this gem was the only relationship that you didn’t need to argue you mean?

How did you resolve issues?

No, I was annoyed by a couple of things but we never had a real fight about them.

That was one of the biggest problems.

We didn't resolve problems.

Whenever she didn't like something she didn't talk about it and I had to dig and prob for weeks.
click to expand

And you still were together for 7 years?

Well that is pretty crazy.

I have being like that in only one relationship. With an aqua. Just not wanting to make a fuss and not talking about it, mostly because I felt that when I was arguing it didn’t resolve anything. But in reality that makes me to give up. I kept it all in and after 2 years and half I finished with him. He couldn’t believe it. Took him completely by surprise. I thought I was giving him lots of signs that I was giving up.

No. Definitely better to argue and resolve issues.

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by pisceswoman123

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by saggurl88

Posted by Seleukos

Posted by TheLadyScorpio

Posted by Seleukos
Still haven't figured that out for me but I think I need a certain amount of conflict and it's solution before I can trust another person.

I have a deep distrust for things that are too easy.

What do you mean by 'conflict and solution' ?

@Seleukos, could you clarify that, or provide an example.

Though easy things, may be simply because they are, for no other malicious reason.

Why would it immediately arise distrust in you ?

Love has always been a battlefield to me.

The other person needs to fight for the love as hard as I do.

It isn't love if it doesn't hurt.

When I can have conflicts with the other persons and solve those tgother with her/him I gain a bit of trust each time.

I don't trust people who do not fight for what they want.

Example:

She is pissed about something I did and confronts me about it while being relentless.

I can work with that, therefore trust her more.

Anger is honest.

I can differentiate between anger and hurt. Love isn't supposed to hurt. It cuts too deep when it hurts me.

Anger like your example I can definitely do. I know that he isnt going anywhere just like me and I can say what's on my mind and he and I can work through it, forgive, and move on. This has no worries at all. I know everything is still solid. But when someone purposely tries to hurt me, I am not able to trust him. 😕

Well, it's not like I'm sitting in my basement, practicing my evil laugh while planning to hurt her.

It's just than at least one fight is going to happen sooner that later and it should be an useful fight in the end.

Wouldn’t that happen in any relationship?

You say what you don’t like. You argue. Put boundaries. Learn from it. Get stronger.

That's what you would think but reality looks very different.

Most couples don't have fights anymore because many people think it's going to be the end of their relationship.

Really?

I tell if I am not happy.

That is the only way to grow a relationship in my book.

I am definitely not scared of fighting. That is my way of putting everything out. If they don’t measure up to it I wouldn’t want to be with them anyway.

Just after a fight when you resolve issues, it’s the most intense intimate moment. When you know that you both are in the same page or willing to compromise.

I agree wholeheartedly but you know...

😄

I never thought about it. I have never being in a relationship without arguments. I really need it if I feel things are not right. I wouldn’t be able to just keep it in or pretend.

What people are you talking about? How do you know?

It's you Aries thingy.

Be proud of that.

😄 first time someone said that I should be proud about arguing 😄

Yes, it’s must be. I couldn’t have it any other way.

Have you had that problem?

Of being too "aggressive"?

Both.

How hard do you argue?

I argue pretty hard but very sort. And I like to forget fast and move on to a better place.

Have you had problems with people not wanting to argue in relationships?

I argue pretty hard too as well as humorous and self-ironic but on top of that very coldhearted and analytical.

The last two things happen if I don't get and argumentative respond from the other person.

If I'm angry things are still great but once I turn silent, well, you just entered the dangerzone.

If they don't argue I just stop caring and that usually makes them pretty angry.

Excluding one case.

That sounds exactly like me. Well maybe not the humorous. But it’s when I get silent that I am giving up and that is never good.

The same if they walk away trying to give me space. Wrong move. I need to argue until it becomes better.

But if they make them angry, don’t they argue then?

What was that one case?

Most of them start arguing, yes.

The exception was the seven year Gemini.

She just said yes to everything and nothing changed.

So with this gem was the only relationship that you didn’t need to argue you mean?

How did you resolve issues?

No, I was annoyed by a couple of things but we never had a real fight about them.

That was one of the biggest problems.

We didn't resolve problems.

Whenever she didn't like something she didn't talk about it and I had to dig and prob for weeks.

And you still were together for 7 years?

Well that is pretty crazy.

I have being like that in only one relationship. With an aqua. Just not wanting to make a fuss and not talking about it, mostly because I felt that when I was arguing it didn’t resolve anything. But in reality that makes me to give up. I kept it all in and after 2 years and half I finished with him. He couldn’t believe it. Took him completely by surprise. I thought I was giving him lots of signs that I was giving up.

No. Definitely better to argue and resolve issues.

First love, first relationship.

Mistakes were made.

The good thing is that I have seen all bad aspects of a relationship now and nothing is going to shock me ever again.

It's a good thing to have a dead heart.
click to expand

It’s sad to get a dead heart from a bad relationship.

Every one is different and you learn a real deal out of it.

A bad experience shouldn’t stop you from having a good one.

And I don’t think you can see every bad aspect in just one. I don’t think that it’s possible.