Adoption

What are your thoughts on this.
I always wanted to adopt, whether I have kids of my own or not.
Were any of you adopted?
Or are you thinking about adopting kids of your own..
What are the legal requirements to adopt?

Both my parents were adopted. It made them want a family really bad. Probably too bad. I think it is honorable. The only problem is when I go to the doctor and they ask me about diseases that run in the family and I have nothing to them. When I was a kid one of my neighbors adopted a son and he was gay. The dad let everyone know that he was adopted and not from his bloodline. It was horrible. The kid started doing drugs and eventually died. As long as you agree to love them no matter what I say do it.

Oh it's difficult to get an infant. If you go the private route you have a better chance but the costs are about 20K here in Merika. My employer offers adoption fee reimbursement costs of up to 10K. The key word being reimbursement. Maybe you can find some assistance somewhere.

Rabbit, I'm shocked you know so much about this...If you can think of anything else, please do tell...

See, I'm a young woman and ever since I was a teenager I have always though when I grow up I want to adopt a child/children and give them all the love and security in the world.
A safe place..

I must admit, I am not overly eager to become pregnant and most of my peers already have 2 or 3 kids already but for some reason I don't have the urge...Maybe an empty fifth house is to be blamed?
I dunno but I know adopting would be perfect for me..

You 2 need the Lord

Rabbit, It is interesting what you wrote about not many people wanting to adopt older kids..
You rarely ever see people adopt an older child, just babies and little ones.
But as you said they need love attention and care too...

Many blessings to you and you wife for opening up your home to a young one.

Posted by crabRiot
You 2 need the Lord

Haha true

Posted by b1tchcrafts
As for parents who adopt..
Just because you want to adopt does not mean you are automatically a good parent.

You really need to think about it.. I mean how shitty will it be when you fail as a parent and you literally signed up for it.
You went to the store and picked it out.
At the end of the day it's your fault because you could not understand your child's temperament, It's a fine balance..
Maybe your lucky and the kid is easy and wants to please you...

So yeah Jesus will not give you the strength lmfaoo If only it was that damn easy.

People who adopt might not make excellent parents because let's face it, parenting is a difficult job but just the fact that they are willing to give of themselves in that way says a lot. We need more people like that in the world.

Certainly, there are plenty of babies to be had to satisfy your desire ... whatever you do, make sure you overlook the abused children who are the ones who actually need to be adopted.

Posted by Rabbit
We applied to adopt black children, but were repeatedly denied for being white.

It was always written in PC codespeak like "we feel there are better options for the child that more closely align with cultural considerations"

SMH

I understand where they're coming from though. I'm a little uncomfortable with white's adopting black children without the proper knowledge on how to take care of them. Like hair care, skin care, teaching them about their own race/racism. Yes, love and being financially stable is great, but there's more to raising minority children besides giving them love. I have no problem with white raising blacks as long as they have the proper knowledge on how to do so.

But then again, I think most soon to be parents should have to take parenting classes.

BTW, I'm speaking in general, this isn't directed at you and your parenting skills..

My mom was a foster parent for special needs children and had her fair share of prejudice social workers.

I guess that's better than nothing. That's a lot of money you'd be spending on hair/skin care. Would be better if you learned how to do it then you could teach them how to take care of their own hair. Living in a diverse area with a mix of different races would be ideal. You can't live in white suburbia and expect your child to want to get involved in other communities.

Again, all of this isn't exactly directed at you since I have no idea where you live.

Posted by Rabbit
We applied to adopt black children, but were repeatedly denied for being white.

It was always written in PC codespeak like "we feel there are better options for the child that more closely align with cultural considerations"

SMH

That's racist.

Posted by b1tchcrafts

Posted by Rabbit
There are support groups for just those sorts of situations.

The resources are there for anyone willing to put forth the effort.

Unfortunately "effort" seems to be destined for removal from the American English dictionary.

Exactly that is such bs.. you can't get their hair right so you can't adopt them..
LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO GET THE DESIRED HAIR THEIR WANT AT ORPHANAGES LMFAO OKAY.

click to expand

+1(000)

Posted by LillyBlossom
I can understand the logic behind matching cultures as one would think it would be healthy for a child to experience a life closest to what theirs might have been like had they not been orphaned. Removing a child from their culture and raising them in an environment where they may not be exposed to their heritage will break their spirit in ways many don't understand. Of course, I see the dilemma of said child not ever being adopted if they are limited and restricted from being adopted by anyone who is capable.

In any case, I would love to adopt as well as have my own children. But I would perhaps adopt an infant over a young child or teenager.

I agree 100% , nicely said.

Posted by b1tchcrafts

Posted by Rabbit
There are support groups for just those sorts of situations.

The resources are there for anyone willing to put forth the effort.

Unfortunately "effort" seems to be destined for removal from the American English dictionary.

Exactly that is such bs.. you can't get their hair right so you can't adopt them..
LIKE THEY ARE GOING TO GET THE DESIRED HAIR THEIR WANT AT ORPHANAGES LMFAO OKAY.

click to expand

Ha. I dare you to walk around with a jacked up hairstyle for a month, see if it isn't discouraging. 😐

Posted by Rabbit
I am not trying to scare you Crab. Adoption is a wonderful thing and people who choose to adopt are wonderful people. Except for me. My Scorpio bits refuse to accept compliments.

My suggestion is...if you are thinking of adopting an older child...you should volunteer mentoring them first, so you can get a sense of what they are forced to deal with.

My wife and I volunteer time each month to mentoring kids who are aging out of the system with learning life skills. You could do something similar.

I'm not scared Rabbit, and I really do appreciate all your advice...I'm here reading up and taking into consideration all that you wrote...Thank you!

Posted by P-Angel

Certainly, there are plenty of babies to be had to satisfy your desire ... whatever you do, make sure you overlook the abused children who are the ones who actually need to be adopted.

No one is over looking abused children.To be quite frank, I've never actually considered adopting an oldr child until Rabbit started raised the idea but it's something to think about I can tell you that!

Posted by KVZZMIR11
Do whatever floats your boat, OP.

But personally, I would just rather have my own offspring.

Do you want a boy or girl?

I would want 2 sons of my own genetics.

I normally do.