@aquapiscescusp
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Anorexia and teenage girls
I have seen a young 14 year old girl lose over 30 lbs in the last few months making her look like skin and bones now. It looks to be a cry for help...
Posted by SelfPic
Personally, I think it's related to body image. There might be other factors that contribute, but in my experience, it's nearly always body image.
It's not for attention?
Mostly the Jew media saturation of women in magazines, movies and TV shows as "thin and cool."
If one gives a cursory examination to the Jew media's portrayal of American women these days, one can see that it is their utter destruction that they have in mind.
She is isn't eating very much and is lying about it.
As a friend of the family, is there anything I can do?
Thanks Elle, I will have a look.
And there's stupid sh*t like this
http://www.pinterest.com/bridget1615/operation-thigh-gap/
The comment underneath the pic reads: "thigh gap! amazing legs! I want!!!!"
I think it looks terrible-- but apparently, this is what girls are trying to attain.
Which is doubly sad because some people just aren't built that way.
"Thinspiration"
Yeehaw. 😐
It can be 1 or a combination of these things
1. Bullying. The most secure teenage girl in the world may end up being the most insecure girl in the world after she's constantly bullied about her body/image
2. Too much media influence. Magazines, music, reality TV, modeling, etc. The media is more powerful than some people would like to admit. The media plays a huge part in what society considers acceptable or not so good. If you're body type fits in the category that the media portrays as "not so good" then this can weigh heavily on your sense of self-worth/image
3. Genetics. Some teens are predisposed to eating disorders b/c members of their family have dealt with the same issues. Teens who have an immediate family member who struggles with an eating disorder is 7 times more likely to develop that same eating disorder or another 1 altogether
4. Superficial family. Some women grow up with parents that have been encouraging their children to obsess about looks from early on. My friend's mom always used to say things like, "You need to lose some weight so you can look like all the other girls" all the time & after hearing this so many times, she became obsessed with comparing herself to other people. She also became obsessed with pleasing her parents b/c their constant disapproval of her just made her work even harder to get their approval
5. Career choices. Some teens who want to be models, actors, in the fashion industry, in the entertainment industry OR in an industry where image is everything, tend to fall prey to eating disorders the second they decide they want to pursue those specific kinds of industries as a career. A woman that knew she wanted to be a model at the age of 12 will most likely develop an eating disorder vs. the girl who wants to be a dentist or lawyer, for example
6. Mental disorder(s). Eating disorders are a common symptom of having certain mental disorders. Mental disorders that involve a warped sense of self, image or worth have been known to trigger eating disorders.
Low self-esteem does not cause eating disorders. All the people who have low self-esteem do not have an eating disorder. But all the people with eating disorders do have low self-esteem.
because people rather die than change their diet
Posted by Montgomery
And there's stupid sh*t like thishttp://www.pinterest.com/bridget1615/operation-thigh-gap/
The comment underneath the pic reads: "thigh gap! amazing legs! I want!!!!"
I think it looks terrible-- but apparently, this is what girls are trying to attain.
Which is doubly sad because some people just aren't built that way.
"Thinspiration"
Yeehaw. 😐
Yes, I her them talking about this thigh gap... How disgusting.
Control is obviously an issue - she is exerting control - but it is unlikely to be the only issue. What needs to be determined is why she is exerting control, which may be difficult because she may not be consciously aware of the reason.
APC, you mentioned that the girl is fed up with therapy. This suggests that she has been in therapy before. What she was in therapy for previously could prove quite illuminating to this situation.
*hear
Aneroxia is nothing to joke about. Karen carpenter died from it. Pisces/leo moon
Posted by StoicGoat
Control is obviously an issue - she is exerting control - but it is unlikely to be the only issue. What needs to be determined is why she is exerting control, which may be difficult because she may not be consciously aware of the reason.APC, you mentioned that the girl is fed up with therapy. This suggests that she has been in therapy before. What she was in therapy for previously could prove quite illuminating to this situation.
This is what I believe is at the root but I could be wrong.
Parents divorced and the dad moved away to a different country. She does see him once or twice a year but its usually on vacation somewhere where. To boot he's newly remarried. She lives with her mom, another sibling and a nanny. I get the feeling the mother is never home, she is being raised by the nanny.
She has been seeing a therapist in the past to help with these new adjustments in her life. Basically, they are buying her everything, paying for whatever therapy she may need (possibly all she needs is a shoulder to cry on?)
Posted by YourSunshine
APC could you do me a favor and ask the girl you mentioned these questions and tell me her answers?1. Do you feel tired all the time?
2. Do you feel worthless?
3. Do you feel hopeless?
I would like to ask her those questions... Next time I see her. I just don't know how to just come out and ask?
I have shown concern about her weight loss and she just won't discuss it, tells me it's all the gym stuff she's doing.
Posted by krysrenee7
It can be 1 or a combination of these things1. Bullying. The most secure teenage girl in the world may end up being the most insecure girl in the world after she's constantly bullied about her body/image
2. Too much media influence. Magazines, music, reality TV, modeling, etc. The media is more powerful than some people would like to admit. The media plays a huge part in what society considers acceptable or not so good. If you're body type fits in the category that the media portrays as "not so good" then this can weigh heavily on your sense of self-worth/image
3. Genetics. Some teens are predisposed to eating disorders b/c members of their family have dealt with the same issues. Teens who have an immediate family member who struggles with an eating disorder is 7 times more likely to develop that same eating disorder or another 1 altogether
4. Superficial family. Some women grow up with parents that have been encouraging their children to obsess about looks from early on. My friend's mom always used to say things like, "You need to lose some weight so you can look like all the other girls" all the time & after hearing this so many times, she became obsessed with comparing herself to other people. She also became obsessed with pleasing her parents b/c their constant disapproval of her just made her work even harder to get their approval
5. Career choices. Some teens who want to be models, actors, in the fashion industry, in the entertainment industry OR in an industry where image is everything, tend to fall prey to eating disorders the second they decide they want to pursue those specific kinds of industries as a career. A woman that knew she wanted to be a model at the age of 12 will most likely develop an eating disorder vs. the girl who wants to be a dentist or lawyer, for example
6. Mental disorder(s). Eating disorders are a common symptom of having certain mental disorders. Mental disorders that involve a warped sense of self, image or worth have been known to trigger eating disorders.
Low self-esteem does not cause eating disorders. All the people who have low self-esteem do not have an eating disorder. But all the people with eating disorders do have low self-esteem.
These are all great points.
Posted by auriqa
I feel like on sites like Tumblr and Instagram, being super thin is the norm and if you don't have a "thigh gap" you're considered fat. Which is ridiculous. So I'd try and steer teens away from those sites. Probably easier said than done, but personally I found them triggering when I had a bit of a... struggle, shall we say.I had a (shitty) friend in high school who told me I was too fat (I was nowhere near fat, I was a UK 8-10) so I started eating
That's what I am concerned with and its killing me to watch her go from someone so vibrant to this. Didn't know about the periods. I just wonder why the school she ges to doesn't put more pressure on mother to help her? Or is that asking too much?
Posted by YourSunshine
Showing concern will make her feel like she's burdening you because of your worry. I don't know how you would come out and ask either, I'm really bad at that kind of stuff.
I am so upset with the mother for not picking up on this sooner.
She's a Sagittarius, the teen.
My husband and i were just talking bout this....apparently its called the good girls disease.
Posted by lisabethur8
My husband and i were just talking bout this....apparently its called the good girls disease.
What do you mean?
The questions YourSunshine posed are for depression, from which the girl may suffer. However, those alone are inadequate upon which to base any diagnosis.
Just befriend her, APC. Probing questions that obviously pertain to her weight, eating habits, etc. will only put her on the defensive and keep you on the outside. Ignore them to the extent that you are able/comfortable and just be the person who cares about her because she is who she is, rather than a relative or responsibility. When you find out what has prompted her recent change you will be in a much better position to help her help herself. Auriqa is right:
Posted by auriqa
[...]the only person who can make her get better at this stage is herself.[...]
Until she decides she wants to be other than she now is, there is nothing anyone can do. When she does decide, having an adult female confidant who is not paid to be with her will be invaluable.
Posted by StoicGoat
The questions YourSunshine posed are for depression, from which the girl may suffer. However, those alone are inadequate upon which to base any diagnosis.Just befriend her, APC. Probing questions that obviously pertain to her weight, eating habits, etc. will only put her on the defensive and keep you on the outside. Ignore them to the extent that you are able/comfortable and just be the person who cares about her because she is who she is, rather than a relative or responsibility. When you find out what has prompted her recent change you will be in a much better position to help her help herself. Auriqa is right:
Posted by auriqa
[...]the only person who can make her get better at this stage is herself.[...]Until she decides she wants to be other than she now is, there is nothing anyone can do. When she does decide, having an adult female confidant who is not paid to be with her will be invaluable.
click to expand
this is a nice advice. But befriending her to get the "goods" or "input" on her because you have this "cause" is going to raise suspicion and red flags to her. It might. People dont like to be "saved" from what they feel is something she/he should do. They may feel it's highly intrusive that people have the audacity and nerve to do so.
Posted by lisabethur8
My husband and i were just talking bout this....apparently its called the good girls disease.What do you mean?
click to expand
it mostly effects women who are middle class or upper middle class, sometimes referred to, from some articles, "the rich girl's disease"
Of course they feel the affects but, it doesn't mean they're going to stop because their will to be skinny is more important to them. You obviously are missing the whole reason for Anorexia.
I'm not missing the reason. You think so because your reason is different than mine. Anorexic people starve themselves because they have lost their will to live.
If anorexia was caused by just having the will to be skinnier, you know how epidemic that would be? Consider the fact of the millions and billions of magazines that feature so many skinny people. It would be made way too easy to intentionally starve yourselves.
click to expand
That is key, they have lost their will to live. Who would want to starve themselves for fun, it's just so painful. I am sick about this..
Posted by StoicGoat
The questions YourSunshine posed are for depression, from which the girl may suffer. However, those alone are inadequate upon which to base any diagnosis.Just befriend her, APC. Probing questions that obviously pertain to her weight, eating habits, etc. will only put her on the defensive and keep you on the outside. Ignore them to the extent that you are able/comfortable and just be the person who cares about her because she is who she is, rather than a relative or responsibility. When you find out what has prompted her recent change you will be in a much better position to help her help herself. Auriqa is right:
Posted by auriqa
[...]the only person who can make her get better at this stage is herself.[...]Until she decides she wants to be other than she now is, there is nothing anyone can do. When she does decide, having an adult female confidant who is not paid to be with her will be invaluable.
click to expand
Yes, I will be there as a friend. I saw her the other day after a few months of not seeing her and I was shocked at how thin she was. I didn't make one comment about how thin she looked. I just want to go in there and fix it, you know? Poor pup.
Posted by lisabethur8
My husband and i were just talking bout this....apparently its called the good girls disease.What do you mean?
it mostly effects women who are middle class or upper middle class, sometimes referred to, from some articles, "the rich girl's disease"
click to expand
ah ok... too many expectations?
Posted by feby16aqua
I had my bout with this type of thing. I was pretty sick at one point...as low as 90 lbs.
For me, I can remember being in my bathing suit and a few guys shouting free willy to me. It impacted me. A strange time in my life, being just 14 and all. Body changing etc.Eating disorder behavior is about control. Like I said before. When other things in your life are all out of whack...you find something else to focus in on. There is heavy OCD influence involved as well.
How long did this last?
OK, got it!
Thanks for sharing that. I am sorry to hear this. I also try to keep my weight under control with food and exercise. I try not to obsess but I can see how it could have gotten out of hand when I was younger. My grandmother lived with us and she was a top cook. It was close to impossible not to eat.
Was it a toxic place to live (with hindsight) or were they just enabling? Also, what is the thought process in stabilizing you today?
This is what I am thinking in regards to this young girl. Someone should just step in, her mom or dad. It's like she is screaming for it. Why were you surprised? You thought they didn't care?
No, she is 14
She is showing the initial signs the experts list from what I can see;
Refusal to eat and denial of hunger
Intense fear of gaining weight
Negative or distorted self-image
Excessive exercise
Irritability
Fear of eating in public
Social withdrawal
These, I don't know about;
Soft, downy hair present on the body
Menstrual irregularities or loss of menstruation
Frequently being cold
and the BIG ONE is she has dropped close to 40 lbs in a few months.
Yes, I am reading them... 🙂 thank you
Posted by feby16aqua
In the US, at least in my state, your parents or guardians can sign you into the hospital without your consent if you are under 18. Also, you cannot sign yourself out without their consent.Has she lost weight?
40 lbs in the last few months.
Her parents are divorced and seem way too busy with their new lives. They have quite a bit of money to afford a nanny to take care of things when the mom is not around. That's most nights from what I can see.
I have been thinking about getting a teacher at her school to put pressure by calling the home. The mom is aware... But she is sending her to therapy instead of maybe spending time with her.
It starts off with having control but loss if control over the situation becomes inevitable in some cases.
It was nothing much lol.
aqua hugs right back at you 🙂
WC, no hugs?
Using guilt isn't working 🙂
Haha, she's busy with more important things🙂
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What do you think are the primary causes?