Dating dictionary

Kinda like urban dictionary, but for your typical dating shit.

This just came to mind because for the 67839683096th time here, someone has proclaimed "busy" as a legit excuse for a guy to NOT contact her.

Busy- What he says when he can't be bothered to contact you. Not to be confused with actually being busy. Guys will make the time if they actually care and are into you.

Scared- What women assume when a guy turns into a Grade A asshat. In reality, the guy is just an asshat. Guys who are truly "scared" wouldn't have had the balls to ask you out in the first place.

"I can't, I'm busy"- Term used by a woman when she's not interested. See also: "Busy."

Add your own.

Testing A term women use to justify and tolerate emotional manipulation. Also a tactic used by immature women (girls) to fuck with guys. Both forms are asshole behavior and should not be practiced by mature adults.

Posted by littlemegabyte
I fell trap to a Capricorn man being "busy" all the time when I first joined DXP. I made excuses for his "busy" ass time and again. Rocky, you showed me the way to the light with your harsh but honest words that one fateful day. I have certainly learned my lesson.

(assuming this isn't sarcasm? It's late and brain no work)

Dude, people act like I'm all bitter and pissy and it's far from that. I experienced the very same thing myself with guys. When you see what's really going on and learn this shit, it's really eye opening. Once you've experienced a guy who is truly into you, there's no looking back with all this nonsense that's usually perpetuated by women.

I've been with the guy who fucked around, played mind games and mostly kept himself in that weirdo grey area that leaves most women wtf.
I've also been with the guy who, with ZERO doubt, was into me. None of that garbage existed in this situation.

Needless to say, I don't tolerate the bs from guys who fall into the former category.

What's even sadder is that women are discouraged or put down to feel such enlightenment and empowerment. Wonder why that is... *cough*

Posted by littlemegabyte
Yea, that is what I have seen on this site, the women making excuse after excuse for their men. He's "busy", he's "just not very emotional", he "just doesn't want a relationship right now" etc etc Nothing you can say or do will convince them because when you tell them that the guy isn't actually into them, they often times lash out at you. This is what I've seen a lot from the women in the Gemini forum, and then I'm like yeaaa... Now I see why that Gem guy ran far far away. Unfortunately this occurs to women even in their 40s and 50s.... So I am beginning to think it's not something that is learned from age. My problem was that I was in 2 healthy LTR from the age of 16-24, then I got back out into the dating world and had to discover what a "fuckboy" was ‚‚‚‚

It's a societal thing. Generation after generation pushing these myths as fact. We see it here all the time as well. There are times where all my response is to some users is "WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING THIS??" It's awful, awful advice being given because it has NO basis in reality whatsoever and is doing more harm than good. Women tell other women what they WANT to hear, not what they NEED to hear. The latter is so much more important, but because women are told, from a young age, not to be unpleasant in any way, they go around giving shitty advice amongst other things.

Dating is a trainwreck though, with all these people growing up from sheltered and coddled real world outlooks. Tons o selfish people out there wreaking havoc on everyone else.

The reason "fuckboys" exist is because women ALLOW that shit to happen. Guys figure if they can do it with one woman, they can do it with the rest.

Such a headache haha. I've always been "eh fuck it, it'll happen when it happens," and I developed that mindset in my early teens. After gaining dating experience... I still hold that belief, more than ever haha. "Fuck it, gonna do me. It'll happen when it's meant to happen." *looks at the pretty butterflies*

When he gives you his number and says "call me"

He's lazy and not interested enough to initiate. If he were really interested, he would be the one asking for your number and calling you.

"i don't want a relationship"

He wants an FWB with no expectations. If you're willing to participate, then he's not responsible for your feelings - you were warned.

"Rocky, you are very smart" - You are very smart.

Posted by abcdEU
I like the way I do it, "I'm just not interested."

Why do people have do much trouble saying that?

Seriously. But I know there are girls out there who would get pissy at the directness of that because they're freaking stupid.

The sad thing is, if women flat out do this, they're met with hostility from some douchebags. Any variation of "not interested" passive or direct.

Check out the IG account of byefelipe It's fricken ridiculous that these little boys cannot take rejection of any kind due to their entitlement.

He's flattering, romantic and nice; calls and texts often: He hasn't have it with a real woman for a while.

He's commitment phobic = He's not into me and I need to slap this label on him because I cannot cope with not being his choice.

what I told is valid for men you date. not for the butcher and baker around the corner.


still in the post-modern world there are enough butchers and bakers and bosses and in-laws and online-friends and pi-pa-pos who are nice to you and maintaining your name in their secret list of light-weight girls. the truth is they never stop seeing us as sexual beings. or opportunities for a sexual advanture.

if he has not enough courage, then he only assumes that could happen. otherwise wait and see.

of course you can say it is not pleasant to live without sex. you can follow the motto "girls wanna have fun". you can hope to find the right man by going through advantures and fun. that is one possibility. and there have been enough numbers of marriages based on this openness.

still we have this other possiblity that you never meet the right one.

The fact that men are nicer and flattering when they haven't been get laid for a while should not be the basis how you want to build your life. But take it into consideration.

Posted by idk
i think this thread is a little femi-nazi. god forbid people are actually busy.

well, in the half of the cup they are busy, in the other half they don't give a fig about you.

Posted by truecap
When he gives you his number and says "call me"

He's lazy and not interested enough to initiate. If he were really interested, he would be the one asking for your number and calling you.

Honestly I'm not sure about this one. When I'm not taken, I do that sometimes and I think it's cool.

I personally try to make eye contact first, if she holds it for more than 3 seconds or smile back I approach her and then leave her my number, usually with a pen so that she sees I'm not randomly hitting on her just because I’m bored. I would say she’s also more likely to feel picked/valued with this approach since she sees you’re taking your time (lazy men can't be bothered) writing the number down on a piece of paper.

I will obviously come up with something observational to say on the spot and I agree with you that saying just "call me" would sound really uninteresting and flat, still, I would prefer she called me to see if she's genuinely interested in me, which is really the only thing I need to know before proceeding.

Men are very simple, there's no such thing as "not interested enough", they either like you or not, so if they approach you they like you already, you can’t call them lazy, if they were they wouldn't have made a move in the first place.

Therefore, there's no need for the man to be calling you as well seeking for your approval to meet, it's your turn to show a bit of interest in us. It's subtle, but when you think this through, there really are no gimmicks.

Posted by Palerio

Posted by truecap
When he gives you his number and says "call me"

He's lazy and not interested enough to initiate. If he were really interested, he would be the one asking for your number and calling you.

Honestly I'm not sure about this one. When I'm not taken, I do that sometimes and I think it's cool.

I personally try to make eye contact first, if she holds it for more than 3 seconds or smile back I approach her and then leave her my number, usually with a pen so that she sees I'm not randomly hitting on her just because I’m bored. I would say she’s also more likely to feel picked/valued with this approach since she sees you’re taking your time (lazy men can't be bothered) writing the number down on a piece of paper.

I will obviously come up with something observational to say on the spot and I agree with you that saying just "call me" would sound really uninteresting and flat, still, I would prefer she called me to see if she's genuinely interested in me, which is really the only thing I need to know before proceeding.

Men are very simple, there's no such thing as "not interested enough", they either like you or not, so if they approach you they like you already, you can’t call them lazy, if they were they wouldn't have made a move in the first place.

Therefore, there's no need for the man to be calling you as well seeking for your approval to meet, it's your turn to show a bit of interest in us. It's subtle, but when you think this through, there really are no gimmicks.

click to expand

I don't call boys I don't know. If i did take your number, I wouldn't call. I'd tell you that straight up though.

If she's interested, she will give you her number and say "call me".

Posted by truecap
If she's interested, she will give you her number and say "call me".

That was @polario

Posted by idk
i think this thread is a little femi-nazi.

"When anything meant to empower women is twisted into a threat towards a guy's masculinity."

Posted by Scruffles

Posted by idk
i think this thread is a little femi-nazi. god forbid people are actually busy.

I didn't see it that way.

I saw it as chicks not accepting the fact that a guy just isn't into them and buying all the excuses guys use to string them along. : /

click to expand

Pretty much. It's been a repeat issue for quite some time around here (and in life, and anywhere where you hear women seeking advice with their dating issues). Basically, every thread created by a chick seeking insight to their dude has been the same as an issue a week or a month ago that someone else was going on about. AND they make the SAME excuses and react the SAME way when their rose colored bubble is burst.

This had happened like THREE days in a row in various forums right before I'd posted this and I was like Jesus Christ, is there some sort of guidebook for the fucking desperate that the use the same lines and logic that they utter this bullshit?

"He's scared. He's this, he's that...." Oh for fuck's sake, stop being desperate. He's an asshole, treating you badly, and you need to find someone else. This dude is not the be all of your life, there are more out there.

Like someone else said, there really does need to be something like this (and there probably already is) out there that women need to read.

Actually, Steve Harvey's book is basically it. When someone like him, who has a track record of being difficult with women, tells women not to tolerate that bullshit from guys, you should probably pay attention.

Of course, I made this with the intent of dating overall, but you tend to see women seeking out advice more often than guys in places like this. Guys tend to internalize at times and don't necessarily hit up the interwebs as much as women do. ...when you do, they're examples like pector. It seems like when guys internalize and don't seek out what they SHOULD be doing, they do the wrong thing, react badly because they didn't bother to get any sort of insight, and then end up lashing out and being butthurt and entitled. Much like women, society and media ends up being their guide, which is just... awful.

Posted by pector
"It was a lovely experience learned a lot and I still love and care about you"

get the fuck out of my life bitch

You should probably work on getting your ego in check. It'll make life much easier for you.

Posted by pector

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by pector
"It was a lovely experience learned a lot and I still love and care about you"

get the fuck out of my life bitch

You should probably work on getting your ego in check. It'll make life much easier for you.

you should probably get the fuck out of my face

Aw, poor baby. Someone's butthurt. It'll be okay and you'll survive. Men who lash out usually have giant fucking egos that make life difficult for them in various aspects. Get it under control and you'd be amazed how much easier things would be for you overall.

Posted by pector
oh I'm sorry Kodak I forgot you were the one who started out the thread I take back what I said

in that case I'll afford you the dignity of saying this: you got it all wrong there check your facts, your script and look again

click to expand

Honey, I'm the one who started this thread. You aren't very bright, are you?

Posted by pector

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by pector

Posted by rockyroadicecream

Posted by pector
"It was a lovely experience learned a lot and I still love and care about you"

get the fuck out of my life bitch

You should probably work on getting your ego in check. It'll make life much easier for you.

you should probably get the fuck out of my face

Aw, poor baby. Someone's butthurt. It'll be okay and you'll survive. Men who lash out usually have giant fucking egos that make life difficult for them in various aspects. Get it under control and you'd be amazed how much easier things would be for you overall.

Posted by pector
oh I'm sorry Kodak I forgot you were the one who started out the thread I take back what I said

in that case I'll afford you the dignity of saying this: you got it all wrong there check your facts, your script and look again

Honey, I'm the one who started this thread. You aren't very bright, are you?

don't confuse butt hurt with irritation, and before you make valuations about someone, recognize that you some shit dirt under someone's

here's my advice: jump in front of a train and get grinded under the wheels for all I fucking care about your smear of a face

click to expand

*sigh*

Another 20 something butthurt about life and saying violent things on the internet to strangers. You probably want to seek counselling for your sad apathy toward others.

This emo phase will be something you'll grow out of. Cheer up sweetie.

Just saw this Super Bowl ad. Nice to see something encouraging so many "nice guys" to knock off the stupid bullshit and just be themselves.

Posted by thinktoomuch
... I guess women generally just don´t believe how shitty guys can be for a large period of their life. !
And how much pussy means to a guy. Not MEAN-mean, ofcours the person behind the pussy has no meaning, but how much meaning the pussy as a thing to obtain has.

But you know, it all just boils down to the same ol' : men want sex, women want a man (who does not just want to have sex). If men knew what women do to keep a guy (and I guess they do, seing as they experience first hand how much bullshit a girl will go through to *keep* a guy), they´ll just use that fact to thei advantage.

And women know how much men wants pussy so we use sex to try and *get a man*. That´s the gist of it all imo. And ofcours then everybody pretends to not know what it´s all about.

From the women's side, part of the issue is that women are too busy interjecting how they would react/think/feel for the guy when pondering shit and just cannot fathom how some guys function. They basically substitute their mindset when they aren't able to understand or figure something out.

Take, "he's scared," as an example. If a guy is acting weird, appearing standoffish, women immediately seem to assume "scared." Why? Because that's how THEY would react if they were behaving the same way.

Overall, women seem to overthink and men seem to underthink. You're bound to have a lot of misunderstandings across the board with this stuff.

Just ignore pector everyone else does.

Posted by The_eleventh_sign_11
Just ignore pector everyone else does.

Already did. The Elliot Rodger act-alikes gets old real fast.

I wouldn't be surprised if he was a meek little bitch irl.

"Overall, women seem to overthink and men seem to underthink. You're bound to have a lot of misunderstandings across the board with this stuff."

I soooooo agree with this.

Posted by thinktoomuch

Don´t you think that most women are just trying to save face? We´re all told, that everybody always just wants to fuck us, so we spend a lot of time trying to find the ones who doesn´t, so we feel valued in this society and in ourselves. And then time and time and time again the story goes "I thought he was actually a nice guy, and now I found out I was wrong, and I am ashamed of that and need to make excuses". That´s how I felt myself, utterly ashamed of having liked someone and believed in someone who had no interest in me as a human beig whatsoever. Stone cold. It´s happened many years ago, but even writing it now makes me sad and ashamed of myself.

AND guys ofcours know all these excuses and just how to play them. Don´t kid ourselves, guys knows exactly how to make big puppy eyes and act a little aloof to get a girl wondering, instead of him being honest with his true intentions. I guess he too is ashamed of being so stone cold and have to cover it up with lies. Just how the world works.

It may be, but there's more encouragement of delusion and bullshit no thanks to our society and media. How often in our media are we told, from a very young age, that a guy who is acting like an ass is truly just some hurt, scared soul who needs understanding? He really does like you, but oh man, he's got issues. So if you're patient, he'll surely come around and love you forever!!

When we're young, we're told that the little boy who is mean to us really likes us. It starts young and continues to be an ideology impressed upon us throughout our lives. So when push comes to shove, women are basically parroting the same, stupid fuck logic that a guy being a dick toward you really means he likes you. Fellow women, our own mothers, and other female family members are also telling us this dumb shit as we progress through life. Why? Because they were impressioned with the same, stupid bs mentality when THEY grew up.

Some women may do it out of pride, sure, but we just have some really stupid shit drilled into our heads by media and women around us- who are interjecting their own thoughts and feelings in how THEY would react in these situations. I doubt most of the time it's based on pride and refusing to realize they made a poor choice.

You should look into reading some women's studies books or anything based on gender and our society. You'd probably understand a bit more than assuming all women think just like you. It's a multi faceted thing that involves a lot of societal contstructs and impressions left on us from a very young age. Gender and expectations are drilled into our heads as young as 2-3 years old (sometimes younger if the parents are really ignorant and sexist).

The "shame" you felt is understandable, but that may stem more from the "rejection" point than the ego point where you screwed up.

Posted by thinktoomuch
We should have many more homosexuals and bisexuals in these discussions, so the cultural gender roles, particularly about sex, would be blurred.

I mean, by heterosexual standards shown here on dxp, it shouldn´t even be possible for homosexual guys to have a relationship, as apparently "guys only want sex", and homosexual girls shouldn´t have sex ever, because "girls just want a partner and to feel safe".

...you seriously need to go read some books or take some classes on these issues.