Dating do's and don't........

I don't think I know how to date anymore.
My last official relationship was 8 years ago. After that I dated two men at separate times of course. But both were pretty serious(we loved each other) I just never wanted to make it official because of the break up I had 8 years ago had really messed me up. I know it sounds terrible but I've grown a lot since the last two. I've also dated a ton over the last few years but only wanted to have fun, couldn't hold me down.
So over the last year I've decided that I am ready to open myself up again and be in real relationship with a man. I've had tons of bad luck or just you know no real lasting connections. Everything will be right and then it all goes wrong, I feel like I'm doing something wrong. Is it because I'm looking now?
Just looking for any dating advice you wanna give me!
Do's and Don't
Anything you've found true over the year 🙂

I'm totally piggy backing on your thread! I'm on the same boat as you, except my relationships was 8 years. I've dated, but nothing serious, and now that I'm ready... nothing. Too bad we don't live in the same area, we could celebrate being single together over a cold beer.

Posted by DonJohnson
whatever you do... don't sleep with him on the first date.

thx! I won't on the first date but have after the second or third, once I waited almost a whole year! somehow I'm still ending up with the same results.
Does it really matter how fast or slow you sleep with a guy?

Sorry... "6" years... not 8! :-)

Posted by geminicandle
I honestly think one has to be in the right mind frame to date, like ready mentally, emotionally and psychologically.

There are guys, he can be the right guy but if YOU are not ready, nothing is going to happen.

So first question is-are you ready to give as well as receive? Relationships are a lot of work and they take work.

I hear ya 🙂 I really think I am! ready that is. I feel like I give more than I receive lately. So when this happens and I take notice I split. You know realizing they most likely aren't on the same page as I am.

Posted by djbuck1
Are you talking about finding a man or what to expect/demand from a man?

both 🙂

Posted by bakedbaby

Posted by DonJohnson
whatever you do... don't sleep with him on the first date.

thx! I won't on the first date but have after the second or third, once I waited almost a whole year! somehow I'm still ending up with the same results.
Does it really matter how fast or slow you sleep with a guy?

click to expand

I think as long as you don't sleep on the first date you're fine. A lot of people put time lines on that kinda thing. One friend of mine has a 90 day rule, and I think it's retarded. You're either feeling it, or you're not. If you're unsure that a guy is truly interested, then you wait. You know when a guy likes you, or is just looking to get some ass...so use your judgement. A guy just looking for sex will easily wait the 90 days, and still split after he's gotten it. So time lines don't exactly do much IMO.

Posted by RaeofSun
I'm totally piggy backing on your thread! I'm on the same boat as you, except my relationships was 8 years. I've dated, but nothing serious, and now that I'm ready... nothing. Too bad we don't live in the same area, we could celebrate being single together over a cold beer.

yes more single friends please! seems like most mine are being married off or have been coupled for quite some time now.

Posted by everevolvingepithet
3rd date?

yeh I have b4

Don't panic!! I've been single forever!! 😆

Posted by candyapples88

Posted by bakedbaby

Posted by DonJohnson
whatever you do... don't sleep with him on the first date.

thx! I won't on the first date but have after the second or third, once I waited almost a whole year! somehow I'm still ending up with the same results.
Does it really matter how fast or slow you sleep with a guy?

I think as long as you don't sleep on the first date you're fine. A lot of people put time lines on that kinda thing. One friend of mine has a 90 day rule, and I think it's retarded. You're either feeling it, or you're not. If you're unsure that a guy is truly interested, then you wait. You know when a guy likes you, or is just looking to get some ass...so use your judgement. A guy just looking for sex will easily wait the 90 days, and still split after he's gotten it. So time lines don't exactly do much IMO.

click to expand

Yeh I wouln't be able to hold back once I feel it. The guy who I made wait almost a year. Who let me just say I thought we were "friends" it wasn't just dating he pays for everything type deal. Split after we slept together. Literally wouldn't return any of my phone calls or texts after that night. So since then Im thinking it doens't matter. Also I'll add that it's not that I made him wait I was just trying to get to know him as a friend first.

Posted by geminicandle
Being a part of the couple is over-rated.

I am one of those girls who likes being single actually.
But I mean I do realize...one of these days I'll have to settle down'😢

I hear ya! I liked it for a long time as well. Found out a lot about who I am and what I like and want. But now I'm ready to share ya know 🙂 grow with someone

Posted by 2N3R
Don't panic!! I've been single forever!! 😆

ahh I know I'm trying not to!

Posted by filipinoprince

haha thx! 😉

Posted by geminicandle
Being a part of the couple is over-rated.

I am one of those girls who likes being single actually.
But I mean I do realize...one of these days I'll have to settle down'😢

Personally, I don't go out looking for it because it's one of those things that just happens. You can't pick who you're attracted to, and I'm not gonna be a whore and throw myself at people just because. I only care to be in a relationship when I'm interested in someone, otherwise, I'm fine as I am.

Posted by bakedbaby

Posted by DonJohnson
whatever you do... don't sleep with him on the first date.

thx! I won't on the first date but have after the second or third, once I waited almost a whole year! somehow I'm still ending up with the same results.
Does it really matter how fast or slow you sleep with a guy?

click to expand

SMH

Posted by tiziani
The thing about when you're "looking" is you put out a certain vibe that attracts a specific side out of any relationship with others. The needy vibes attract the needy.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being available. But just be at peace with yourself and yeah, don't be boring is good advice too.

thanks! I guess I just need to re focus on myself again. I don't want to put out needy vibes for sure.

Posted by starlover
What happened to the Saggi guy baked?

Good questions. Lets see for the last 4 weeks we hung out like 2-3 times a week, texted everyday. Every time we saw each other we had fun, started to open up to each other. Said he even told his mom and friends about me which I thought was good. Then last week he had some kind drama with his kids mom. That night we had plans but he needed time to his friends to vent. So I told him to text me later. When he did it was almost midnight so i told him it was too late to hang out and that we could hang out the next day.
Well the next days rolls around, and didn't hear from him. So later that night I texted him. Didn't hear from him until the following day. He apologized and said he'd been really stressed and had a lot on his plate. I said I understood and was there for him if he needed anything. We texted back and forth all night, that was on the 14th. The next day 15th I asked him to hang out the next night 16th. He didn't get back to me till the next morning! which he usually gets back to me within a few hours. Said he had band practice and would let me know the time. Well then he didn't text me till 11pm! So I didn't text back till the next day. I was annoyed he took so long to get back to me also I wasn't gonna make plans to hang at 11pm. Anyway its' been since Saturday and neither one of us has contacted each other. I dunno if I'm being stupid and being insecure. I just wanted to give him space if he dealing with things. But I don't know.. I kinda get the feeling he's pulling away. I really really like him but don't want to push. And I've been the last one to contact him. I dunno does this all sound like baby games?

Posted by cunninglinguist
Enjoy the freedom of being single while u can!

I love my Scorpy, but he's all Water and Earth and very Plutonian. Sometimes I feel tied down, especially now that I live with him. And given that he said he wants to marry me by next fall, I might never have that freedom again.

Don't get me wrong, I love him, and also want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just have to accept the tradeoffs.

And that's my advice to you: Dont worry about dating unless you want something serious. And if you do, YOU need to be ready to really commit and become a life partner. And mercilessly drop ANY guy that doesn't indicate clearly that he's in it for the long haul, backed up by actions!!! And if he does any disappearing acts, drop him.

Libran Love Advice 🙂

Thanks! Your right I guess it's silly to worry about it. I am dating it's just not as serious as i'd like it to be at the moment. But I should just try and relax. I've somehow worked myself up recently watching ppl close to me getting married and having babies. I guess I just realized I want those things too. If you would have asked me two years ago I would have said no way haha.

Posted by starlover
You are doing the right thing baked....leave him to it

I wouldn't chase him at all if it was me

Doubt you will be alone for long going by your pic!!

🙂

Thanks! that made me feel better 🙂

Posted by starlover
....or maybe just go with your gut feeling and then you
wont frighten the poor guy off 😄

my gut tells me to leave him alone for a little. If I don't hear from him and the weekend comes around. I'll may send him a friendly text, see what happens.

Posted by starlover
i wouldnt do all the asking of birth dates etc..it scares em

😄

now that could send them running lol

haha! yah I usually get them to tell me in other ways that don't sound creepy or whatever. But it's something I care about until a few weeks in.

Posted by starlover

Posted by bakedbaby

Posted by starlover
....or maybe just go with your gut feeling and then you
wont frighten the poor guy off 😄

my gut tells me to leave him alone for a little. If I don't hear from him and the weekend comes around. I'll may send him a friendly text, see what happens.

oh i wouldn't! if you were polite enough to make contact last and he
didnt get back i was feck him out the window

🙂

click to expand

that's true! thx lady 😉

Posted by cunninglinguist
Enjoy the freedom of being single while u can!

I love my Scorpy, but he's all Water and Earth and very Plutonian. Sometimes I feel tied down, especially now that I live with him. And given that he said he wants to marry me by next fall, I might never have that freedom again.

Don't get me wrong, I love him, and also want to spend the rest of my life with him. I just have to accept the tradeoffs.

And that's my advice to you: Dont worry about dating unless you want something serious. And if you do, YOU need to be ready to really commit and become a life partner. And mercilessly drop ANY guy that doesn't indicate clearly that he's in it for the long haul, backed up by actions!!! And if he does any disappearing acts, drop him.

Libran Love Advice 🙂

Even though I generally don't mind being single(I say generally because I am interested in someone at the moment), I've been ready for marriage since I was 15. *strikes a pose* Funny what they say about Taurus and marriage. 😆

Ms. BakedBaby, at the homosexual end of the spectrum in my particular case, after my shift was over, as I walked in the parking lot, I thought to myself, "I shouldn't try. The only thing I should try is to see if she likes women and if she does and is single, if she's interested in me. Regardless, no matter who I like, I shouldn't do any pretentious bullshit in an attempt to essentially plead my case to whoever I'm attracted to because if she stays after all that crap, I will revert to being relaxed and feeling normal instead of like I'm going to choke and suffocate. Might as well behave as I usually do, especially because I can't change that and it's probably one of the things that got her interested in the first place anyway".

I might feel nevous and hope my mouth and throat don't go dry like the first time I spoke with someone I liked. I hope to not become paler and possibly have my eyes look ready to pop out of their sockets, get all sweaty or God forbid, hyperventillate. My nerves have seemingly calmed, though, and I can generally be slightly stealth. But this thought was a great thought to have, as it is a fantastic revelation.

Posted by candyapples88

Posted by bakedbaby

Posted by DonJohnson
whatever you do... don't sleep with him on the first date.

thx! I won't on the first date but have after the second or third, once I waited almost a whole year! somehow I'm still ending up with the same results.
Does it really matter how fast or slow you sleep with a guy?

I think as long as you don't sleep on the first date you're fine. A lot of people put time lines on that kinda thing. One friend of mine has a 90 day rule, and I think it's retarded. You're either feeling it, or you're not. If you're unsure that a guy is truly interested, then you wait. You know when a guy likes you, or is just looking to get some ass...so use your judgement. A guy just looking for sex will easily wait the 90 days, and still split after he's gotten it. So time lines don't exactly do much IMO.

click to expand

thats game playing

if you wanna have sex have sex

he can lie just to get it then what?

my leo friend always says stay true to yourself no matter what....Id be even more pissed if I wait then have sex and then get played.

Keep an open mind. Preferances is not a bad thing, but it does limit you from possibly meeting someone that you never thought you'd have a connection with.

Posted by 2N3R
Ms. BakedBaby, at the homosexual end of the spectrum in my particular case, after my shift was over, as I walked in the parking lot, I thought to myself, "I shouldn't try. The only thing I should try is to see if she likes women and if she does and is single, if she's interested in me. Regardless, no matter who I like, I shouldn't do any pretentious bullshit in an attempt to essentially plead my case to whoever I'm attracted to because if she stays after all that crap, I will revert to being relaxed and feeling normal instead of like I'm going to choke and suffocate. Might as well behave as I usually do, especially because I can't change that and it's probably one of the things that got her interested in the first place anyway".

I might feel nevous and hope my mouth and throat don't go dry like the first time I spoke with someone I liked. I hope to not become paler and possibly have my eyes look ready to pop out of their sockets, get all sweaty or God forbid, hyperventillate. My nerves have seemingly calmed, though, and I can generally be slightly stealth. But this thought was a great thought to have, as it is a fantastic revelation.

thank! 🙂

Posted by Eula
Keep an open mind. Preferances is not a bad thing, but it does limit you from possibly meeting someone that you never thought you'd have a connection with.

this is true! the guy I currently like looks nothing like what I thought my "type" to be. This sounds real superficial and it was I just had never thought twice about it before. Trying to break free of these pre-conceived notions.

What do you consider your type?

ALL THIS ON WHAT DATE DO YOU HAVE SEX B/S
SIMPLE DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOUR READY IF HE CAN'T HANDLE THAT TIME TO MOVE ON.
THAT WAS TIP #1 ALSO READ SOME OF MY POST THEN STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIKE ME. ALSO MEN LIKE BONES, C/P Q
THE BLING TYPE WOULD BE A GOOD MAN FOR A WOMAN.
ASK THE OTHER WOMEN ON HERE ABOUT THE REST.

YOURS TATE

Posted by Eula
What do you consider your type?

as far as looks I don't have one anymore. Other than that sensitive type

Posted by james tate
ALL THIS ON WHAT DATE DO YOU HAVE SEX B/S
SIMPLE DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOUR READY IF HE CAN'T HANDLE THAT TIME TO MOVE ON.
THAT WAS TIP #1 ALSO READ SOME OF MY POST THEN STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIKE ME. ALSO MEN LIKE BONES, C/P Q
THE BLING TYPE WOULD BE A GOOD MAN FOR A WOMAN.
ASK THE OTHER WOMEN ON HERE ABOUT THE REST.

YOURS TATE

haha thanks! but I didn't want to know what to do after sex, I'm not confused by that. Just curious on ppl take on dating these days and what works and what doesn't. Bling type huh? 🙂

IM SINGLE 46 NEVER BEEN MARRIED HAVE AN OFF AGAIN AND ON AGAIN G/F FOR 20 OF THOSE YEARS
I WAS 26 SHE WAS 17 SHES BEEN MARRED TO SOMEONE HER FATHER PICKED OUT HAS TWO KIDS SINGLE NOW SO ANY ADVICE I GIVE OUT DO JUST NOT FOLLOW IT

Posted by james tate
IM SINGLE 46 NEVER BEEN MARRIED HAVE AN OFF AGAIN AND ON AGAIN G/F FOR 20 OF THOSE YEARS
I WAS 26 SHE WAS 17 SHES BEEN MARRED TO SOMEONE HER FATHER PICKED OUT HAS TWO KIDS SINGLE NOW SO ANY ADVICE I GIVE OUT DO JUST NOT FOLLOW IT

ok well thanks anyway 🙂

Posted by starlover
DO

Wear pink
Smile a lot
Listen well

😄

haha!! 🙂

Posted by tw1nk1e
If you are into him a lot, don't show anything beyond what he shows you.
Just remember he's a stranger, even if he's is an attractive one. Unless you already knew him for years.
Make sure he's good enough for YOU.

I like this! thx

Posted by Nicrobliz
Don't silently fart in my presence on a first date. And if you do, make sure I can't smell it...

yeh silent ones are usually the deadly haha!

Just be yourself!!! Don't try and be someone your not because they will fall for a totally different person than what you really are. Be raw and honest and make them like you for you!!!

Posted by xygeneration
Do

-Ask for birth date, time and location
-Personality test compatibility
-Life path and name number compatibility

Don't
-Proceed without completing the above or individual is incompatible

Good luck!

Good call.

Too many astrologically incompatible people become couples, and then they have bad relationships as a result.

Yuck.

Posted by james tate

I WAS 26 SHE WAS 17 SHES BEEN MARRED TO SOMEONE HER FATHER PICKED OUT HAS TWO KIDS SINGLE NOW SO ANY ADVICE I GIVE OUT DO JUST NOT FOLLOW IT

Marred, huh?

Was it physical damage like punches to the head, or psychological-emotional abuse or what?

Posted by james tate
ALL THIS ON WHAT DATE DO YOU HAVE SEX B/S
SIMPLE DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOUR READY IF HE CAN'T HANDLE THAT TIME TO MOVE ON.
THAT WAS TIP #1 ALSO READ SOME OF MY POST THEN STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIKE ME. ALSO MEN LIKE BONES, C/P Q
THE BLING TYPE WOULD BE A GOOD MAN FOR A WOMAN.
ASK THE OTHER WOMEN ON HERE ABOUT THE REST.

YOURS TATE

What makes Bling so special and why would I avoid you?

Posted by Nicrobliz
Don't silently fart in my presence on a first date. And if you do, make sure I can't smell it...

So what if she blows a bugle?

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by james tate
ALL THIS ON WHAT DATE DO YOU HAVE SEX B/S
SIMPLE DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOUR READY IF HE CAN'T HANDLE THAT TIME TO MOVE ON.
THAT WAS TIP #1 ALSO READ SOME OF MY POST THEN STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIKE ME. ALSO MEN LIKE BONES, C/P Q
THE BLING TYPE WOULD BE A GOOD MAN FOR A WOMAN.
ASK THE OTHER WOMEN ON HERE ABOUT THE REST.

YOURS TATE

Actually, just avoid Capricorn men altogether. We're eeeeevil. We're tightwads, we don't open up, our most meaningful communication in any given 24 hour period might be a series of grunts and nods and nothing more, we hate chick flicks, we think Valentine's day is a big giant scam, I could go on and on.

But Tate is correct, definitely avoid him and me. Q isn't so much of a problem unless you are 4 footed, then avoid him too.

click to expand

LOL I was just talking about Harry Potter in the other thread. Capricorn men = VOLDEMORT. (and Snape)
^_~

Posted by tiziani

Posted by bakedbaby

Posted by tiziani
The thing about when you're "looking" is you put out a certain vibe that attracts a specific side out of any relationship with others. The needy vibes attract the needy.

I don't think there's anything wrong with being available. But just be at peace with yourself and yeah, don't be boring is good advice too.

thanks! I guess I just need to re focus on myself again. I don't want to put out needy vibes for sure.

Think you'll be fine either way 🙂 No one has a clue what they are doing, least of all myself.

When someone has an internal harmony that's so strong, personally that's unmatchable power for me. I was out with a girl earlier this year among a group of old school friends. We just ran into each other. There was nothing romantic but we were talking outside the restaurant and she was asking me about a date i hate later that week in January, and wishing me luck.

I asked her about her love life and she simply said "it'll happen in time" with a smile. She was so relaxed when she said it, she actually relaxed me as well. And I thought about her all the way on the drive back home. Nothing romantic but the point is that's real power IMO.

click to expand

Sorry meant to reply to this b4 🙂 I think it's nice her words had a lasting affect on you. Message received : relax and be happy

Posted by taurusman
Just be yourself!!! Don't try and be someone your not because they will fall for a totally different person than what you really are. Be raw and honest and make them like you for you!!!

thx! I like raw and honest at least that way you know you never lied you were always true

Posted by ScorpioFish

Posted by xygeneration
Do

-Ask for birth date, time and location
-Personality test compatibility
-Life path and name number compatibility

Don't
-Proceed without completing the above or individual is incompatible

Good luck!

Good call.

Too many astrologically incompatible people become couples, and then they have bad relationships as a result.

Yuck.

click to expand

This is true! One of my first real adult relationships was with a scrop guy. I would always read how cancers and Scorpios were a great match yada yada.. Well it was the most volatile relationship I've had ever! Recently since getting more into astro I looked up our actual birth chart compatibility. Bad aspects all over the place!! It was crazy I wish I would have read that while dating him. Maybe I wouldn't have tried so hard to make it work knowing it would have never made it anyway. Who's know? You live and you learn right 🙂

Posted by SirenSting
Do not poo with the door open.

That will make the relationship stink fast. Hahahaha.... Sorry, bad joke. 😛

haha thx! I like jokes

Posted by cowpuncher

Posted by james tate
ALL THIS ON WHAT DATE DO YOU HAVE SEX B/S
SIMPLE DON'T DO IT UNTIL YOUR READY IF HE CAN'T HANDLE THAT TIME TO MOVE ON.
THAT WAS TIP #1 ALSO READ SOME OF MY POST THEN STAY AWAY FROM MEN LIKE ME. ALSO MEN LIKE BONES, C/P Q
THE BLING TYPE WOULD BE A GOOD MAN FOR A WOMAN.
ASK THE OTHER WOMEN ON HERE ABOUT THE REST.

YOURS TATE

Actually, just avoid Capricorn men altogether. We're eeeeevil. We're tightwads, we don't open up, our most meaningful communication in any given 24 hour period might be a series of grunts and nods and nothing more, we hate chick flicks, we think Valentine's day is a big giant scam, I could go on and on.

But Tate is correct, definitely avoid him and me. Q isn't so much of a problem unless you are 4 footed, then avoid him too.

click to expand

really? Haha I've not dated a cap. But one of my best guy friends for the last 11yrs is one. He has a water moon maybe that's why cos he's into chick flicks and valentines day haha! Also my rising is a cap I've been told I got a good poker face.