Disrespectful

I dont care what anyone says,

But I think it's really disrespectful to keep the person you had sex with before as a friend, when you're in a relationship.

It's either the ex, Friends with benefit, or fawk buddy.

When your beliefs is to stay loyal to that individual. Smfh

Your opinions could be express on this one.

Posted by Aliensusedourbogroll

Why do you think it’s disrespectful?

Virgo moon insecurity.

"What if's" galore.

Sometimes you are just very good friends but there’s not attraction left. Being friends doesn’t mean that they are going to be having sex ever again.

If you are parents it's very important to remain friends for the sake of your child with the ex

Posted by tiziani

This is one of those things that doesn't even matter after you're both 50 years old and wishing your partner had more friends (shrugs)

It depends entirely on the meaning sex has for both you and your current partner. In my view, every sexual connection with another person automatically and inevitably creates a spiritual, intimate and karmic bond with him/her. Sex to me is a communion as much as it is an exchange of energies. Seen within such a context, I believe it is both healthy and a noble goal for yourself as well as your current partner, to at least try and keep any kind of sex-related mental energy strictly between yourself and your current partner. Consciously dealing with former sex buddies while you're in a relationship would go against this idea/conviction. It is just not productive for your current relationship, in my view. Unless it is inevitable, like when there are children involved.

If you have children with an ex it’s in the interest of the children involved that you are friendly with the ex.. Your children should always come first in that kind of scenario.

Besides that, personally I don’t see the point in staying friends, but at the same time I don’t necessarily see it as a bad thing either. It really would depend on how both parties conducted themselves in said friendship.

Do you think by managing something like that you are gonna have a certain outcome from your partner?

I'd look at a bigger picture

Agreed. Although it depends on the circumstances.

If it’s a fwb from awhile ago with a 10 year friendship...I wouldn’t trip.

@C69

@i-xy

@tiziani

@MyStarsShine

@Lala1393

@Arielle83

@Mr_Pinchy

@Timon

@TheWeirdOne

@

I am only expressing something that I believe is unfair. If you were at the point that you found them beautiful, it is prone to cause problems when you're together with somebody new.

It doesn't matter if it's a long time ago, you never know what that person intentions is. Cause I've witness two old former couples still wanting to see each other while they're both married.

That touchiness is too much. I wouldn't be saying this situation as a person that no longer talks and have feelings for the other person.

There's situations where I could comprehend that it wouldn't really matter.

I am only voicing out my opinion th as it is disrespectful to an extend.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Agreed. Although it depends on the circumstances.

If it’s a fwb from awhile ago with a 10 year friendship...I wouldn’t trip.

This .

If I just happen to say something, people will just assume that I am talking about my relationship. If anything I'll be posting on the Libra thread and be yapping off.

Posted by TheWeirdOne

As someone with self control. You are only expressing your inability to detach.

I am a 12th house Cancer Sun conjunct Jupiter.

No I am expressing an opinion. Part of being vague about the situation only shows a detachment from what is being said.

But the main pointers here is claiming that it is disrespectful.

And shows that most will be detach

Posted by Echo

I dont care what anyone says,

But I think it's really disrespectful to keep the person you had sex with before as a friend, when you're in a relationship.

I think it's disrespectful of you to dictate who can be friends are who cannot. If you were a guy you would be called "abusive"

Posted by enfant_terrible

Posted by Echo

I dont care what anyone says,

But I think it's really disrespectful to keep the person you had sex with before as a friend, when you're in a relationship.

I think it's disrespectful of you to dictate who can be friends are who cannot. If you were a guy you would be called "abusive"

click to expand

However I said an opinion. I did not point any fingers to whom this was towards to.

So call me anything you want. I do not care, if this gets someone sensitive.

The fact that it is not fair for couples all over the world to be lied to or being cheated on. You're basically claiming it is okay.

Edit: As for you to know, my relationship with my Libra is pretty well. I let him do as he please, I see nothing abusive happening. If so, he would have left, cause he got no time for that bullshiiiit.

Posted by Arielle83

Well I don’t believe in monogamy as a lasting situation forever. You have to work hard.

I’m a relationship, ppl mentally cheat all the time.

But someone shouldn’t shame others for their thoughts not acted upon.

Arielle, if I was shaming an individual I'll be tagging people and shoving it into their face like most dxper users.

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

Posted by Arielle83

Posted by Echo

Posted by Arielle83

Well I don’t believe in monogamy as a lasting situation forever. You have to work hard.

I’m a relationship, ppl mentally cheat all the time.

But someone shouldn’t shame others for their thoughts not acted upon.

Arielle, if I was shaming an individual I'll be tagging people and shoving it into their face like most dxper users.

I’m not referencing you.

I’m saying hypothetical since I thought this was a hypothetical op.

click to expand

Ohh okiee I see I see 🙂

Posted by Evoxxxscorpio3

Lol I agree with what your saying and i know a few people who does this type off bull.

Thank you, at least you get the reference to this... I was vague but I was saying what I wanted to say mainly about my point.

It's easy to come up with excuses to justify certain behaviours because let's be honest; most people suck at setting healthy boundaries for themselves, let alone for their relationships, also most people are terrified about being confronted with their own misbehaviour, so they create fake values for themselves to justify them. People who can't set healthy boundaries for themselves have core values that work against them. You are basically then living a life in which you are constantly swimming against the current. That's very exhausting.

When in reality, healthy boundaries actually free you, instead of limiting you (which is what most people fear it will do to them)

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

This thread should have been "i witnessed **********" not a blanket statement for everyone.

click to expand

If they take it the wrong way that's them 🤷‍♀️ why am I responsible for the outrage that happens if they cant handle someone else's opinion.

That's on them if they want to think its directly towards them. I didnt point no fingers

Posted by tiziani

Posted by Echo

@C69

@i-xy

@tiziani

@MyStarsShine

@Lala1393

@Arielle83

@Mr_Pinchy

@Timon

@TheWeirdOne

@

I am only expressing something that I believe is unfair. If you were at the point that you found them beautiful, it is prone to cause problems when you're together with somebody new.

It doesn't matter if it's a long time ago, you never know what that person intentions is. Cause I've witness two old former couples still wanting to see each other while they're both married.

That touchiness is too much. I wouldn't be saying this situation as a person that no longer talks and have feelings for the other person.

There's situations where I could comprehend that it wouldn't really matter.

I am only voicing out my opinion th as it is disrespectful to an extend.

My take on it for me is if it's not going to be an issue later, then it's not a dealbreaker for me today. After all, it's long-term commitment.

However if it makes you feel very unhappy in the short term that's a problem. Can't argue with how you feel.

click to expand

You're understanding Tiz,

If it's going to be an issue for an individual's relationship, you're going to pick a choice and this isn't towards you Tiz I am talking about the situation itself.

A problem solver. If you notice a certain percentage of the dxp are people who just jumped into a conclusion and think it's my relationship.

Others take the time to realize it out of the shell.

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

This thread should have been "i witnessed **********" not a blanket statement for everyone.

If they take it the wrong way that's them 🤷‍♀️ why am I responsible for the outrage that happens if they cant handle someone else's opinion.

That's on them if they want to think its directly towards them. I didnt point no fingers

No you are being passive aggressive, you want the world to know how hard it is for you to be with someone by masking it as someone else with an issue lol.

It's cool to be that way, but don't project it.

click to expand

Passive aggressive? Take the time to go look through my stuff and see if I am masking it onto my own situation.

Keep this part entertained and you'll sound stupid at the fact that you're jumping into a conclusion. Do yourself a favor, get yourself a trampoline since you keep jumping to another.

Waste your time looking for anything related to my relationship. I am more forward about my relationship and there's nothing to hide about mines.

Continue on

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

This thread should have been "i witnessed **********" not a blanket statement for everyone.

If they take it the wrong way that's them 🤷‍♀️ why am I responsible for the outrage that happens if they cant handle someone else's opinion.

That's on them if they want to think its directly towards them. I didnt point no fingers

No you are being passive aggressive, you want the world to know how hard it is for you to be with someone by masking it as someone else with an issue lol.

It's cool to be that way, but don't project it.

Passive aggressive? Take the time to go look through my stuff and see if I am masking it onto my own situation.

Keep this part entertained and you'll sound stupid at the fact that you're jumping into a conclusion. Do yourself a favor, get yourself a trampoline since you keep jumping to another.

Waste your time looking for anything related to my relationship. I am more forward about my relationship and there's nothing to hide about mines.

Continue on

I know it is hard to comprehend simple usage of the brain, but your entire thread is a blanket statement = passive aggressive, since it targets an entire load of people instead of saying your point not involving anyone else, because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem.

You cannot really tangle with a 12th house Cancerian with exalted Jupiter conjunct and Mercury 12th house conjunct ASC, Sun & Jupiter trine Pluto, i read people like a book.

People can handle having friends they had sex with and be completely turned off the idea for good.

click to expand

Claiming you read people like a book but I have to say you're wrong.

You want to be right about this situation but you cant handle the truth that you're obviously WRONG.

Get the point and look it into a different angle instead of focusing on my relationship that you have no idea about and it's not even related to my situation.

And if it did target people who could relate to this, that's up to them if they want to take it the wrong way or the right way.

What can't you comprehend?

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

This thread should have been "i witnessed **********" not a blanket statement for everyone.

If they take it the wrong way that's them 🤷‍♀️ why am I responsible for the outrage that happens if they cant handle someone else's opinion.

That's on them if they want to think its directly towards them. I didnt point no fingers

No you are being passive aggressive, you want the world to know how hard it is for you to be with someone by masking it as someone else with an issue lol.

It's cool to be that way, but don't project it.

Passive aggressive? Take the time to go look through my stuff and see if I am masking it onto my own situation.

Keep this part entertained and you'll sound stupid at the fact that you're jumping into a conclusion. Do yourself a favor, get yourself a trampoline since you keep jumping to another.

Waste your time looking for anything related to my relationship. I am more forward about my relationship and there's nothing to hide about mines.

Continue on

I know it is hard to comprehend simple usage of the brain, but your entire thread is a blanket statement = passive aggressive, since it targets an entire load of people instead of saying your point not involving anyone else, because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem.

You cannot really tangle with a 12th house Cancerian with exalted Jupiter conjunct and Mercury 12th house conjunct ASC, Sun & Jupiter trine Pluto, i read people like a book.

People can handle having friends they had sex with and be completely turned off the idea for good.

Claiming you read people like a book but I have to say you're wrong.

You want to be right about this situation but you cant handle the truth that you're obviously WRONG.

Get the point and look it into a different angle instead of focusing on my relationship that you have no idea about and it's not even related to my situation.

And if it did target people who could relate to this, that's up to them if they want to take it the wrong way or the right way.

What can't you comprehend?

Never mentioned a single thing about your relationship, it is your feelings and view that i mentioned. Relax girl you may actually see straight once you put the feelings away for a bit.

click to expand

Explain briefly to me what you mean from this statement,

" because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem. "

This is over text and not verbally in person to explain the expression given.

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

This thread should have been "i witnessed **********" not a blanket statement for everyone.

If they take it the wrong way that's them 🤷‍♀️ why am I responsible for the outrage that happens if they cant handle someone else's opinion.

That's on them if they want to think its directly towards them. I didnt point no fingers

No you are being passive aggressive, you want the world to know how hard it is for you to be with someone by masking it as someone else with an issue lol.

It's cool to be that way, but don't project it.

Passive aggressive? Take the time to go look through my stuff and see if I am masking it onto my own situation.

Keep this part entertained and you'll sound stupid at the fact that you're jumping into a conclusion. Do yourself a favor, get yourself a trampoline since you keep jumping to another.

Waste your time looking for anything related to my relationship. I am more forward about my relationship and there's nothing to hide about mines.

Continue on

I know it is hard to comprehend simple usage of the brain, but your entire thread is a blanket statement = passive aggressive, since it targets an entire load of people instead of saying your point not involving anyone else, because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem.

You cannot really tangle with a 12th house Cancerian with exalted Jupiter conjunct and Mercury 12th house conjunct ASC, Sun & Jupiter trine Pluto, i read people like a book.

People can handle having friends they had sex with and be completely turned off the idea for good.

Claiming you read people like a book but I have to say you're wrong.

You want to be right about this situation but you cant handle the truth that you're obviously WRONG.

Get the point and look it into a different angle instead of focusing on my relationship that you have no idea about and it's not even related to my situation.

And if it did target people who could relate to this, that's up to them if they want to take it the wrong way or the right way.

What can't you comprehend?

Never mentioned a single thing about your relationship, it is your feelings and view that i mentioned. Relax girl you may actually see straight once you put the feelings away for a bit.

Explain briefly to me what you mean from this statement,

" because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem. "

This is over text and not verbally in person to explain the expression given.

It is very much black and white.

Because you get insecure about it, don't mean it is wrong.

click to expand

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ my dude, the only way I get insecure is me not being able to pass my college class.

There's nothing for me to get insecure about, it's more of an explanation I was giving to you.

(The last time I was insecure was 5 years ago.)

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by TheWeirdOne

Posted by Echo

Posted by ellesbelles

I'm still good friends with someone I had a one night stand with about 7-8 years ago. He is now married and I'm in a long term relationship. We meet up for lunch every couple months and text back and forth occasionally when we have something exciting going on in our lives.

We both know that night was ridiculous and still laugh about it. We have a running joke about who is bringing the Wild Turkey to lunch (it's a bourbon....of which is responsible for our truth or dare game that lead to the one night stand)

There is nothing insidious about our friendship and neither of us would jeopardize our current relationships.

If anyone is going to jump into a conclusion to say that I am trying to say this situation is wrong, no.

Yours is more safe to do. You aren't touching each other like I've witness this married couple who claims to be happy in their relationship but still seeing a past lover. That's fucked up

But yours is an example of a safe zone.

This thread should have been "i witnessed **********" not a blanket statement for everyone.

If they take it the wrong way that's them 🤷‍♀️ why am I responsible for the outrage that happens if they cant handle someone else's opinion.

That's on them if they want to think its directly towards them. I didnt point no fingers

No you are being passive aggressive, you want the world to know how hard it is for you to be with someone by masking it as someone else with an issue lol.

It's cool to be that way, but don't project it.

Passive aggressive? Take the time to go look through my stuff and see if I am masking it onto my own situation.

Keep this part entertained and you'll sound stupid at the fact that you're jumping into a conclusion. Do yourself a favor, get yourself a trampoline since you keep jumping to another.

Waste your time looking for anything related to my relationship. I am more forward about my relationship and there's nothing to hide about mines.

Continue on

I know it is hard to comprehend simple usage of the brain, but your entire thread is a blanket statement = passive aggressive, since it targets an entire load of people instead of saying your point not involving anyone else, because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem.

You cannot really tangle with a 12th house Cancerian with exalted Jupiter conjunct and Mercury 12th house conjunct ASC, Sun & Jupiter trine Pluto, i read people like a book.

People can handle having friends they had sex with and be completely turned off the idea for good.

Claiming you read people like a book but I have to say you're wrong.

You want to be right about this situation but you cant handle the truth that you're obviously WRONG.

Get the point and look it into a different angle instead of focusing on my relationship that you have no idea about and it's not even related to my situation.

And if it did target people who could relate to this, that's up to them if they want to take it the wrong way or the right way.

What can't you comprehend?

Never mentioned a single thing about your relationship, it is your feelings and view that i mentioned. Relax girl you may actually see straight once you put the feelings away for a bit.

Explain briefly to me what you mean from this statement,

" because you do not want the very thing you mentioned to look like it is you who has a problem. "

This is over text and not verbally in person to explain the expression given.

It is very much black and white.

Because you get insecure about it, don't mean it is wrong.

🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ my dude, the only way I get insecure is me not being able to pass my college class.

There's nothing for me to get insecure about, it's more of an explanation I was giving to you.

(The last time I was insecure was 5 years ago.)

Keep telling yourself that, right now your Sun is conjunct mine, my Chiron & Jupiter.

LOL

click to expand

Okay love 🤷‍♀️ whateva you say

Posted by tiziani

I mean getting into a relationship where my partner's values are in the same ballpark as my own would be a healthy boundary, for a start.

"True. Realistically speaking though, you can't possibly evaluate every single of each other's values for the two of you to decide whether or not they match enough to start a relationship with that same person. Most value discussion arises to the surface while you are already in a relationship with that person, as time goes by "

Saves a lot of talking.

You guys are looking to justify with words like "karma, nobility, disrespect, loyalty"

Ok, big ideas. I've tried love-the-smell-of-our-own-farts talk inside a relationship and it doesn't really work ime. I've also been on the end of it too, and it just comes across like they are emotionally constipated from beating around the bush.

I banged on the "sex is karmic connection" drum when I was in my twenties. It's a great concept to share at a dinner table, but a meaningless thing to say to a partner. Really, it means nothing. It won't convince your partner to be any more compassionate in seeing where you're coming from in my honest opinion.

Especially if all I'm really trying to say is I'm a little scared of losing them. That's cool.

It's better to just be real about what I feel and trust my partner with that. Assuming there is a decent amount of compassion and common values (but if there isn't that then yeah, good luck).

"Agree. Let's not get too side-tracked by the big words and principles mentioned though. Everything we do, every choice we make is part of a larger set of values/beliefs/morals, whether we give them a label or not, they are there. In the end, deep within most of us just want to do the right thing and whether that comes from some obscure ancient eastern philosophy, or from granny's wisdom doesn't really matter. It's our conduct what we are going to be judged by"

Posted by Echo

Posted by LadyNeptune

Agreed. Although it depends on the circumstances.

If it’s a fwb from awhile ago with a 10 year friendship...I wouldn’t trip.

This .

If I just happen to say something, people will just assume that I am talking about my relationship. If anything I'll be posting on the Libra thread and be yapping off.

click to expand

Everyone has a different tolerance level. The important thing is that your partner cares enough to meet you halfway. Or just be with someone who sees this issue the same as you.

So glad my dude isn't friends with any ex's. I don't play that.

Posted by LadyNeptune

Posted by Echo

Posted by LadyNeptune

Agreed. Although it depends on the circumstances.

If it’s a fwb from awhile ago with a 10 year friendship...I wouldn’t trip.

This .

If I just happen to say something, people will just assume that I am talking about my relationship. If anything I'll be posting on the Libra thread and be yapping off.

Everyone has a different tolerance level. The important thing is that your partner cares enough to meet you halfway. Or just be with someone who sees this issue the same as you.

So glad my dude isn't friends with any ex's. I don't play that.

click to expand

Same here. My Libra and I have no contact with exes or former sex buddies. We aren't trying to be the next Pope by doing our best to keep our sexual energy exclusively to one another, we just don't see how it would be a good thing for our relationship to have these old, outdated "satellites" (as I like calling them) in our lives, to us they are merely shadows now. They played their part in who we used to be, but not in our current lives. Holding on to people we don't need is like trying to hold on to every single piece of furniture of your old house, even though you know it won't fit in your new one..

To be fair, also if I imagine myself meeting one of my exes or sex buddies for coffee, I wouldn't even know what to talk about besides...the past, which can be funny, but that gets boring after a while.